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Temporary retirement

    • Berzerger
      Joined: 24.03.2008 Posts: 910
      I've been playing poker for quite some time now. After many withdrawals I've left myself a bankroll of about 100 euro, and month after month after month I somehow ended up break-even or slightly losing. There were months where I just lost massively and haven't played for weeks because of that. Today was the last straw. In two days I lost my bankroll of 130 euro playing NL10. Before you ask why NL10, I played NL4 before that, the level isn't much different but I got sick and tired of playing countless hours to maybe, just maybe, win 4 euro. I took a shot at NL10 with 15 BI and didn't move down. What would it matter? Losing money, but slower? I was sick of dragging it out so I didn't move down even when BRM said I should have.

      My two months of playing NL10 went approximately like this: lose a lot, spend weeks rebuilding, lose it again, barely break even, repeat. Until yesterday's session, which wasn't too different from today's, with the exception that today I really considered that poker is less than worth my time. I get frustrated, I waste time, I waste money, and I get no result. None whatsoever. I couldn't care less about losing 140 euro, it's the way that I keep losing that gets to me.

      Today alone I got it in with a flopped flush three times. All three times someone already had a higher flush., I flopped a straight, got it in, and got sucked out on by a full house. And to finish it off there was a table with an 88/12 fish with a huge stack who made the most atrocious plays imaginable, but despite the fact that I played over 150 hands with him I can't remember even one that I won. By some twisted whim of fate he got the best of me in every single hand and I never hit anything worth betting money on, not against him anyway.

      My conclusion is that I'm a bad poker player and I can't beat NL10. Stemming from those factors, my decision to temporarily abandon poker until I regain interest in it has been made. There's just no fun in it anymore, so I'll stop playing and leave the field to the sharks. Good luck to everyone, and thank you to those who read through this massive wall of rants.
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