New profitable strategy

    • furculision
      Joined: 25.03.2011 Posts: 474
      Ok,so i've been mainly grinding 0.02$ 990 man hyper-turbos sng's on stars for about 3 years now.It's been a rough journey but the adrenaline rush is like nothing else.

      I'm talking serious grind,like 4-5 tournaments a day.I know,thats sick volume.You may think now "How does he manage that,it's crazy?How does he get that sick volume and still being soooo cute?"or "Why am i suddenly attracted to this guy?"

      So after 5671 tournaments,i have 29.31$ profit.Enough for a McDonalds day out.What can i say? I'm a boss.

      You are very lucky you have me in this forum,because im going to share with you a uber piece of secret...i hope you will take it to the next level.

      The first 2000 tournaments i finished between 600th-900th place.Can you believe that BULLSHT?I play so good,all the time,i open shove from early Ax,i overbet river with 52o on AAAKQ board and get shoved by this moron holding AT?WTF LUCKER?I still call because it's obvious that i have uber equity like a 90% favorite.

      My EV line is bigger than my PENNY'S stack!And trust me,i have a pretty big PENNY'S stack here.

      Anyway,now for the creme dulalele creme of my strategy:after my grandma bought me some religious trinkets and holy water and a holy cross that says "i <3 satan" (i think he is some kind of an apostel or whatever),i've been finishing in top 400th-429th 100% of the time 15% of the tournaments.WOWOWOWOW!!!


      So thats it.Go ahead and buy holy water,screw strategy articles and session review and other BS like that,we all know it's bogus and poker is rigged.For your info,don't put holy water on the keyboard,for some reason it acts funny and tends to burst into uncontrolled flames,dunno why,it's holy,it should protect it.Maybe evil poker is purified through the flames,but it cost me two computers.

      Here are some graphs

      And if you think i made those graphs in paint,you are probably a communist and Jesus probably hates you.
  • 18 replies