Funny Poker Chat


I’m not a big fan of the chat box. Other than the occasional “nh” or “ty,” I usually ignore it, but every once in awhile someone drops a gem that makes me laugh out loud. Here’s some of what I saw in the past couple weeks:

Bad Beat

The comedian and villain both had around 30 big blinds in a tournament. The comedian raised 3x the big blind pre-flop, the villain re-raised from out of position, the comedian re-re-raised and the villain went all in. The comedian called and showed KK. The villain had JTs and proceeded to hit his straight. Then this happened:

Comedian: I’m going to go throw up now.

Comedian: While I’m gone, do the right thing and kill yourself.

I Should’ve Raised

In the hand before the chat, Player 1 flopped the Ace-high flush and Player 2 flopped the straight flush. It was checked down to the river where Player 2 called a small bet.

Player 2: I guess I should have raised in there somewhere.

Player 1: LOL, NO RAISE WITH A STRAIGHT FLUSH?

Player 1: I HAD AN ACE HIGH FLUSH

Player 1: COUL HAVE TAKEN ALL MY CHIPS

Player 2: I saw that

Player 2: I wish I would have

Other Player: oh so you didn’t know you had it?

Player 2: no I knew.

Player 2: I said omg honey I flopped a straight flush

Player 2: I was trying to slow play

Player 2: I should have re-raise on the river

Player 1: YA THINK?

I Can’t Hear You

This one happened during the mid blind stage of a Sit N Go. Both players had roughly even stacks of around 12 times the big blind. Player 1 shoves with Q7s and Player 2 calls with AA. Player 1 wins the pot with a flush.

Player 2: F**kin Donkey!

Player 1: What? I can’t hear you.

Player 1: Hang on, lemme move this wall of chips.

Player 1: Okay. What?

Poor Bastard

This one happened late in a MTT. Player 2 had 360 in chips and the blinds were 300/600. We were on the bubble and the tournament was moving hand-by-hand. Player 2 was taking every last second available to him to make any decision. Then the table big stack chimed in.

Big Stack: Look at this poor bastard.

Big Stack: It’s all he can do to keep from killing himself.

* * *

God I love poker!