Irrisponsible playing, loads of cash one day, rock bottom the next

    • bullyingpros
      bullyingpros
      Basic
      Joined: 04.07.2011 Posts: 2
      aight, so ive never been a responsible pokerplayer but what happened to me the last week makes me reconsider my lifestyle.

      I'm just a poor student who has to live of 1k a month in amsterdam with a 430 euro rent expense, over the past 2 years ive had the occasional cash boost from poker but i just cant take loses, whenever i lose my tilt goes off the roof i know its a flaw in my game but i cant cope with it. Last week i lost 4k and the week before 2k, have 0euros on my bank account left and after all this happened i got hit on my vespa by some fat cow who forgot to slow down yesterday which is now wrecked.

      I know all of you are talking about bankroll management, but i cant do that. id rather die than work my way up from 50$ playing .01/.02.

      ontopic, when is full tilt coming back with my roll and how do i cope with my anger issues at the poker table
  • 4 replies
    • MrMardyBum
      MrMardyBum
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.03.2009 Posts: 2,206
      Hi bullyingpros,

      Welcome to the forum!

      First off in regards to your anger/tilt problems you really need to get this sorted or you will forever be stuck in this spiral of ups & downs. Best I can suggest is to read books dedicated to the subject of mindset.
      The Poker Mindset and Treat Poker Like A Business are two that I have read and would recommend.
      We also have a dedicated section on mindset here at Pokerstrategy, which I would also recommend to you - They can be found here http://www.pokerstrategy.com/strategy/psychology/. You do seriously need to sort this out or you will never be as successful as you want to be.
      Also, sweat sessions with other players that are playing regularly at the same limit as you can be an immense help as it helps you see how they play and comment on hands given the table dynamics, players at the table and position etc.

      Second, given your issues with tilt, starting at NL2 would probably be a good step for you, but obviously you feel strongly about not doing that, so I would suggest starting at NL25 MAXIMUM!! with around 20 - 40 buyins and working your way up from there and only move up the limits when your tilt is under control. Better to lose a couple of hundred $'s on tilt than a couple of thousand, and when you do achieve a positive winrate over 50k+ hands you will feel much better for it.

      The thing about playing the way you do is that you never have a safety net to protect yourself against cold decks, rough patches and lucky fish, so you are then going to chase your losses and it eventually ALWAYS leads you to the point you are at right now - BUSTO.

      I also know that this is a very hard thing to overcome and very easy to spout advice, I still have a few minor issues with this myself and this is some of the advice I've received from Pokerstrategy members over the last couple years that has helped me out. When I first started here every full stack I lost was a reason to post bad beat stories and "this poker room is rigged" threads, but now I find my only issue really is that I let my losses affect my confidence.

      Another that may help is to start a blog and post some strict guidelines that you stick to, while posting any hands you have a problem with or were unsure about (Hand evaluation forums here will help as well). With people watching and reading about what you do and what you have done it kind of gives you a reason to stick to your goals and strive to improve so when you are writing it's positive rather than "I busted my roll playing NL1k with 3 BI's" etc.

      Anyway there is a few options, I hope this helps a little and I wish you the very best of luck for the future,


      Danny
    • bullyingpros
      bullyingpros
      Basic
      Joined: 04.07.2011 Posts: 2
      Thank you for the time you took to answer danny

      i will be reading the articles, actually just read the one about gambling addiction, i know i can put things in perspective the thing is i had major successes playing out of my blinds and whenever im doing good i feel comfortable to go there thing is it can get out of control which just happend and i dont want that ever again to happen, i also got issues with money on the internet that doesn;t feel like real money. i geuss its time for my few months poker break and come back more stable and educated....
    • MrMardyBum
      MrMardyBum
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.03.2009 Posts: 2,206
      Originally posted by bullyingpros
      Thank you for the time you took to answer mr. mardy

      i will be reading the articles, actually just read the one about gambling addiction, i know i can put things in perspective the thing is i had major successes playing out of my blinds and whenever im doing good i feel comfortable to go there thing is it can get out of control which just happend and i dont want that ever again to happen, i also got issues with money on the internet that doesn;t feel like real money. i geuss its time for my few months poker break and come back more stable and educated....
      You are more than welcome.

      If you are going to take a break I would suggest not taking a total vacation from poker for that long even if you are reading about it/watching it, without actually putting that knowledge into practice you will probably forget about 50% or more of what you have learnt. So I know, you hate the thought of playing at the micros, but just playing NL5 with $50 - $100 would be very beneficial over this period in my opinion, as you can read about something then try to apply it.
      If you were not going to play anyway then really what do you have to lose? Even if you lose the $50 (or whatever) you are still keeping your head in the game, while not not letting the whole learning process bore you to the point you just give up and then return to the tables and donk it away.

      And $50 after what you described in your opening post is a mere drop in ocean. You may even build up a roll that would see you being a reg at NL25 in the few moths you planned to not play negating the need to re-deposit.

      I'd work on a 50/50 learning/playing ratio to start with so play 1 hour study for 1 hour etc. Then as you rebuild the confidence and continue learning slowly tune down the learning 60/40 70/30 80/20 and then just stick to that until you are ready to move up to higher stakes.

      I do see why you don't want to play at the micros but it will give you a sense of achievement and pride as you beat each level (and I am sure you will, if you approach it with calm mind) which in turn will boost your confidence and let you play to your full ability.

      Best wishes,

      Danny
    • KozakFB
      KozakFB
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.08.2011 Posts: 395
      http://www.tiltdemon.com/

      You have a gambling problem friend. Remember that even if you can beat a limit it doesn't mean you will. You could be the best player in the world at that limit with only 1 B.I. and still go bust.

      I don't get that feeling of online money = fake money.

      For some sick reason losing 1 dollar from my roll hurts so much to me haha.