English speech for school / 10$ inside

    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      Hey,

      it would be great if anyone could help me an my classmates. Our English is so bad and we have to make a speech for a English leason.
      Please correct the textual in the spoiler. I will reward you with 10$ for that. big thx.

      greets


      Einleitung durch Mod:
      Good morning classmates and Mr. Rauchhaus, today we present you a roll play about dialogs. We create a story about your first day in a new company. In this story we integrated some mistakes. In small Brakes it is your turn too find and correct these mistakes.

      Mr. Müller enter the office building and walks right too the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello my name is Mr. Max Müller. I have a appointment with Mr. Pommeroy

      Mr. Knippi
      Hello what´s the reason for the appointment with Mr. Pommeroy?

      Mr. Müller:
      I´m the new Employee and today is my first day.(working day)

      Knippi:
      Ok, wait a second I call him for you.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area.

      Mr. Müller:
      All right, where is the holding holding area?

      Knippi:
      Down the corridor to the right than the door left next to the meet-eating-plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area. Were Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notice that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a Company-Flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you still waiting for a long time?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15minutes., my prospect is still in a meeting.

      Mr.Müller:
      Do you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy, too.

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Of course , today is my first working day.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s my too.
      Where do you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      I come from Dublin, and you?

      Mr. Müller:
      I come from Siegen its near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr.pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      Thanks? Do you had a good trip?

      Mr.Müller:
      Thanks, the trip was comfortable.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Fine, you?

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      Thanks. You got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Off course, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, I hope you like each other in future you work together.
  • 15 replies
    • phantommm92
      phantommm92
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.05.2010 Posts: 1,464
      sorry, read a bit, too many mistakes, not worth it :pokerface:
    • Zareos
      Zareos
      Bronze
      Joined: 16.05.2009 Posts: 240

      Einleitung durch Mod:
      Good morning classmates and Mr. Rauchhaus, today we will present a role-play exercise about dialogues. Our story is about your first day in a new company. In this story we integrated some mistakes. In small groups it is your turn to find and correct these mistakes.

      Mr. Müller enters the office building and walks right towards the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello, my name is Mr. Max Müller and I have an appointment with Mr. Pommeroy

      Mr. Knippi
      Hello what´s the reason for the appointment with Mr. Pommeroy?

      Mr. Müller:
      I´m the new Employee and today is my first day at work.

      Knippi:
      Ok, wait a second and I will call him for you.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in a meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area.

      Mr. Müller:
      All right, where is the holding area?

      Knippi:
      Down the corridor to the right then through the door left next to the meat-eating-plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area. Where Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notices that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a Company-Flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Have you been waiting for a long time?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15minutes, my prospect is still in a meeting.

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy too?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Of course , today is my first day at work.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s mine too.
      Where do you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      I come from Dublin, and you?

      Mr. Müller:
      I come from Siegen its near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr. Pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      Thanks? Did you had a good trip?

      Mr.Müller:
      Thanks, the trip was comfortable.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Fine, you?

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      Thanks. You got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Of course, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, I hope you enjoy working together in the future.


      Done, I fixed the mistakes and made some of the parts read better. :s_cool:
    • amplifyd
      amplifyd
      Bronze
      Joined: 03.08.2009 Posts: 1,769
      Lol i made one but was beaten to it haha. You can send him the $10 if you want even if you use mine or not though, only took me 5 mins and i was bored

      Originally posted by Annuit20
      Hey,

      it would be great if anyone could help me an my classmates. Our English is so bad and we have to make a speech for a English leason.
      Please correct the textual in the spoiler. I will reward you with 10$ for that. big thx.

      greets


      Einleitung durch Mod:
      Good morning classmates and Mr. Rauchhaus, today we present you a roleplay. We created a story about your first day in a new company. In this story we made some mistakes. In small breaks it is your turn to find and correct these mistakes.

      Mr. Müller enters the office building and walks up to the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello my name is Mr. Max Müller. I have a appointment with Mr. Pommeroy

      Mr. Knippi
      Hello what´s the reason for your appointment with Mr. Pommeroy?

      Mr. Müller:
      I´m the new Employee and today is my first day.

      Knippi:
      Ok, please wait a second I will call him for you.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in a meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area.

      Mr. Müller:
      Alright, where is the holding area?

      Knippi:
      Down the corridor to the right then the door on the left next to the meat-eating-plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area, where Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notices that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a Company-Flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Have you been waiting for a long time?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15minutes

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy too?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Of course , today is my first working day.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s mine too.
      Where do you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      I am from Dublin, and you?

      Mr. Müller:
      I come from Siegen - its near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr.pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      Good thanks, did you have a good trip?

      Mr.Müller:
      Yes thanks, the trip was comfortable.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Very well thanks.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      So you got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Yes, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, I hope you like each other since in the future you will work together.
    • gadget51
      gadget51
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 5,622
      I don't know if it has been done better, but here is my try. No need for $s anyway.

      Good luck with it and best regards,

      Mal.


      Good morning Mr. Rauchhaus and classmates.
      Today we would like to present to you, a role play about dialogue.

      We have created a story about your first day with a new company. In this story we integrated some mistakes. There will be short breaks in the dialogue, during which time you will be given the opportunity to find and correct these mistakes.

      Mr. Müller enters the office building and walks right up to the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello my name is Mr. Max Müller. I have a appointment with Mr. Pommeroy

      Mr. Knippi:
      Hello Mr. Muller, what´s the reason for the appointment with Mr. Pommeroy?

      Mr. Müller:
      I´m the new employee and today is my first working day here.

      Knippi:
      Ok, wait a second I call him for you.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Mr. Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in a meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area.

      Mr. Müller:
      Certainly, where is the holding area please?

      Mr. Knippi:
      Down the corridor to the right, then through the door on the left, next to the meet-eating-plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Mr. Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area, where Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notices that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a company flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Excuse me, have you been waiting for long?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15 minutes., my new employer is still in a meeting.

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy, too.

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Of course, today is my first working day.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s my too!
      Where have you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      From Dublin, you?

      Mr. Müller:
      I come from Siegen, near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr.pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      Fine thanks! Did you have a good trip?

      Mr.Müller:
      Yes thank you, the trip was very comfortable.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Fine, you?

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      Thanks. You got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Of course, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, I hope you like each other because in future you will be working together.
    • 1984ioc
      1984ioc
      Bronze
      Joined: 16.07.2011 Posts: 712
      Just call them carnivorous plants i reckon

      Holding area should be called a waiting room in this context i think.

      role-play and not roll play

      an appointment

      Company leaflet rather than company flyer i think is better

      my prospect is still in a meeting You should probably use manager or boss

      really it's my too should be it's mine too

      Einletiung durch: Introduction by Mod

      comfortable trip is not really used.Maybe say the trip went smoothly

      Off course should be Of course
    • Wurble
      Wurble
      Silver
      Joined: 04.04.2009 Posts: 456
      LOL I dunno how anal you want to be about this but here it is without any grammar or punctuation errors ;)

      Einleitung durch Mod:
      Good morning classmates and Mr. Rauchhaus, today we present you a role play about dialogue. We have created a story about your first day in a new company. In this story we've integrated some mistakes with small Breaks in the dialogue. It is your turn to find and correct these mistakes.

      Mr. Müller enters the office building and walks up to the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello, my name is Mr. Max Müller. I have an appointment with Mr. Pommeroy

      Mr. Knippi:
      Hello, what´s the reason for your appointment with Mr. Pommeroy?

      Mr. Müller:
      I´m the new Employee and today is my first day.

      Knippi:
      Ok, wait a second and I will call him for you.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area?

      Mr. Müller:
      Alright, where is the holding area?

      Knippi:
      Down the corridor, to the right and then the door on your left next to the meat-eating plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area where Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notices that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a Company-Flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Have you been waiting long?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15 minutes, my prospect is still in a meeting.

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy too?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Yes, today is my first working day.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s mine too.
      Where do you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      I come from Dublin, and you?

      Mr. Müller:
      I come from Siegen, it's near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr.pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, and you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      I'm great thanks, did you have a good trip?

      Mr.Müller:
      Yes thanks, the trip was comfortable.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Fine, you?

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      I'm great thanks. You got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Yes, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, I hope you like each other because you'll be working together in future.
    • 1984ioc
      1984ioc
      Bronze
      Joined: 16.07.2011 Posts: 712
      Googled meat eating plants and it's used alright but i never really here anyone use that term.Stand to be corrected on that.
    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      Hey guys,
      thx a lot. I will read your corections tomorrow, and sent the money to my Favorit. I hope thats fair for all of you.

      again thanks, you all help me so much.

      greets
    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      Originally posted by 1984ioc
      Googled meat eating plants and it's used alright but i never really here anyone use that term.Stand to be corrected on that.
      We put the meat eating plant into it for a joke, because its even obv for germans that that term is a word for word translation^^
    • 1984ioc
      1984ioc
      Bronze
      Joined: 16.07.2011 Posts: 712
      Originally posted by Annuit20
      Originally posted by 1984ioc
      Googled meat eating plants and it's used alright but i never really here anyone use that term.Stand to be corrected on that.
      We put the meat eating plant into it for a joke, because its even obv for germans that that term is a word for word translation^^

      hehe ok,i was getting confused because everyone here was using it and i was like what the fuck.Trotzdem,viel gluck.
    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      I never thought it could be a correct term^^
      Das ist nett von dir, danke. :-)
    • ShaQQ
      ShaQQ
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.10.2008 Posts: 162
      Einleitung durch Mod:
      Good morning classmates and Mr. Rauchhaus, today we present to you a role-play, we have created a story about your first day at work in a new company. In this dialogue we have integrated some mistakes and in short breaks it is up to you to correct them!

      Mr. Müller enters the office building and walks towards the reception desk.

      Mr. Müller:
      Hello my name is Mr. Max Müller. I have an appointment with Mr. Pommeroy.

      Mr. Knippi:
      Hello Mr. Müller, what is the reason for your appointment today?

      Mr. Müller:
      I'm the new employee and today is my first day. (working day)

      Knippi:
      Okay, please take a seat while I call through to him.

      Mr. Müller:
      Thank you.

      Knippi:
      Mr. Müller, Mr. Pommerroy is still in a meeting, would you please wait for him in the holding area?

      Mr. Müller:
      All right, where might that be?

      Knippi:
      Down the corridor to the right, then take the door on your left, next to the meet-eating-plant (carnivorous plant).

      Mr.Müller:
      Thank you, have a nice day.

      Knippi:
      Thank you, you too.

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller enters the holding area. Where Mr. Winterbottem is already waiting.

      Mr. Müller:
      Good morning!

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Good morning!

      Mod:
      Mr. Müller notices that Mr. Winterbottem is reading a company flyer.

      Mr.Müller:
      Excuse me, have you been waiting for a while?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      About 15 minutes, the person I'm waiting for is in a meeting which hasn't finished yet.

      Mr.Müller:
      Are you waiting for Mr. Pommerroy too?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      Yes, today is my first working day.

      Mr Müller:
      Really? It’s mine too.
      Where do you come from?

      Mr. Winterbottem:
      I come from Dublin, and you?

      Mr. Müller:
      Siegen, it's near Cologne in Germany.

      Mod: Mr.pommerroy enters the holding area and welcomes Mr. Müller and Mr. Winterbottem.

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Müller?

      Mr.Müller:
      I’m fine, you?

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      Good thanks, I hope you've had a good journey.

      Mr.Müller:
      Very comfortable, thank you.

      Mr: Pommerroy:
      How are you Mr. Winterbottem?

      Mr.Winterbottem:
      Very well thanks, looking forward to my first working day, and yourself?

      Mr.Pommerroy:
      Good, thank you. You got to know each other, right?

      Mr.Müller:
      Of course, we had a small talk.

      Mr. Pommerroy:
      That's good, you will be getting to know each other better, because you're working in the same department together.


      -- I tried to keep it similar to yours, correcting the mistakes you purposely made by accident (sorry, was on auto pilot :D ) no need for the money, hope it helps! Paul.

      EDIT-- Holding area sounds like you have prisoners waiting to be questioned :D change it to waiting room, you can use comfortable to describe your journey if you commuted by e.g. train. I'd personally rephrase certain things but as long as it makes sense it's fine. Oh, Winterbottom (if that's an intended mistake then nm)
    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      tyvm Paul, and gl ;-)
    • ShaQQ
      ShaQQ
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.10.2008 Posts: 162
      Hah no worries, fyi instead of "Mod:" you can distinguish between non speech and speech by putting actions in italics.

      Steve enters the room

      Bob: Hi Steve, you suck.
    • Annuit20
      Annuit20
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.09.2007 Posts: 9,225
      Com-Tool invitation's are out.

      greets