How to deal with depression

    • kiromanAAKK
      kiromanAAKK
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.10.2009 Posts: 4,022
      I think this is the right section of the forum for my topic (if not pls forgive me and any mod is free to move it TY)

      Hi guys, I have something I feel like to share with you

      It was fine and wonderful in the begin, I was not believe to my eyes to see $ over $ coming in my account even if I was playing micros (and when I say micros guys believe me I mean it , micros)

      so, I start listen story of downswings and broke and stuff like that and consequently I was starting worry about that and I was starting think of when it was hit me how was look like and how to react and stuff like that

      to do not take too long, the downswing full of bad and negative variance didn't come instead something else hit me like a Tsunami with a devastate effect on me, my game and even the real life (with any1 around me totally affect like a miserable a deadly virus or infection that may exterminate an entire population) and the bad news was that I wasn't prepare for that

      I was so raped-up in my obsession with the variance and waiting for the downswing that I didn't thought for an instant to defend myself against others misfortunes

      so, finally I have ended like the Nazi in the WWII (move almost 3/4 of the troupe in Greece due a wrong intelligence information while the allies were invader Europe threw Italy by Sicily) totally expose and open from the back while I was put all and everything I got on the wrong front

      and here I am with and enemy that has grove like the Trojan horse from inside, slowly and deadly at same time, the Depression

      the long hours spend with my own on the front of a monitor to grind has bring pain and loneliness in my soul and while my roll was growing at same time the evil of the darkness was make every day pass more and more room to end today where Im, alone (almost lost all my friends that I haven't listen for years by now) and so in pain that I am also unable to grind with efficiency anymore

      I have tried already a mental Coach (with no positive return) a consouler and obviously the doctor with all his archimia full of medications that makes only things worst.

      Obviously, I don't aspect to find the solution here on the forum (Im not so foul after all or maybe yes ... don't really know anymore) specially after every1 (specialists and not) have already failed around me

      what I was looking for is any1 else that have pass threw this bad stuff and come out maybe may spare and share his experience and how he done and so on, in the end of the day, we all are poker players here

      has take me a while to write down here (it is not easy to share such stuff believe me friends) and share my story with you so I even don't really sure if I have done the right thing or I should keep for myself and avoid the public embarrassment, I don't know at this stage

      but the fact that all start as a consequence of the long hours grinding I thought maybe it may be possible that as the downswing and variance, the depression may be as well a collateral effect of the grinding and maybe I will be so lucky to find somebody else that has gone threw this stuff and come out as a winner

      my apology for the long story, I have tried my best to make short and at same time complete of any details so to allowed helps come more easy; sorry about that!

      Thank you for reading (if you manage to reach this point) and for any possible further help :)

      P.S. Please forgive also my English as Im not a brilliant English writer specially if upset. TY :)
  • 33 replies
    • muumionu
      muumionu
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.07.2012 Posts: 816
      Hey there!

      I'm not an expert or anything but maybe I would find a solution for your problem through skype where you could explain your problem more clearly, I sent you friend invitation.
    • w34z3l
      w34z3l
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 03.08.2009 Posts: 13,321
      cool story bro

      but seriously, take a break or something. It is recommended you do something besides poker to stay sane.
    • Ig0tbanned
      Ig0tbanned
      Bronze
      Joined: 24.11.2012 Posts: 132
      I am having identical problems add me on skype,it would be good to share it with someone :(
      skype:[edited by gadget51]
    • gadget51
      gadget51
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 5,622
      I had to remove your Skype Ig0tbanned, we do not encourage people to post person addresses such as these on the forums for your own safety.

      Please use the community tool for making first contact with other members, it is a lot safer method.

      Regards and good luck people.


      Mal.
    • muumionu
      muumionu
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.07.2012 Posts: 816
      Originally posted by Ig0tbanned
      I am having identical problems add me on skype,it would be good to share it with someone :(
      skype:[edited by gadget51]
      what u talkin bout u got banned
    • Ig0tbanned
      Ig0tbanned
      Bronze
      Joined: 24.11.2012 Posts: 132
      They forgot to change the name to "Ig0tunbanned",in case you weren't trollin` the name is taken from a MMORPG I used to play back in da dayz(archlord in if you wanna try it out :s_love: ),there was unhumanly player named like that so i just stolen hes name :s_evil:
    • PSBallin
      PSBallin
      Basic
      Joined: 02.01.2013 Posts: 14
      Taking a break helps, even as long as a few weeks. Also I'd suggest introducing some changes to your lifestyle if you aren't very active, doing sports and proper nutrition might work wonders here.
    • andreibalint
      andreibalint
      Bronze
      Joined: 11.04.2009 Posts: 872
      Cure: bring more people in your life. Why do you think people on the forum gather into poker houses? It's also great to play poker simultaneously with another player, talk, swear, joke, whatever...

      I found that it can help that you simply command your brain NOT TO go into depression. Simple as that. Think you can't afford to go to such a mental state because of some reasons. Other than that, get friends, girlfriend, exercise, eat well, drink, party, walk through parks, get out of that chair and re-connect with what's around you basically.
    • sirilidion
      sirilidion
      Gold
      Joined: 15.04.2008 Posts: 1,656
      this might be a extreme opinion, but taking to a a professional might help too. It at least helped me deal with my depression.
    • nutbreakerla
      nutbreakerla
      Bronze
      Joined: 29.07.2012 Posts: 14
      I won't go into my whole story about depression, but I deal with it on a daily bases. I was at my worst a few years ago and still have downswings.

      The hardest part is admitting you are depressed and you have done, now work on what you want and how to get it. What steps you need most important go to back to the doctor. How long did you give the medicine to work. Mine took a long tme, a few weeks before I would even get out of bed.


      For me poker acutally helps it. It was why I started to play. I am open to talking about it with you or anyone else that needs to. I don't want anyone to feel the way I did.
    • gavinonymous
      gavinonymous
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.12.2008 Posts: 1,146
      I think that we all have ups and downs. Some ups and downs are very extreme. Sleep diet and exercise can help a lot. I would take a look at if anything is in imbalance.

      Also, my favourite take on it is by Kahlil Gibran.
      "Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
      And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
      And how else can it be?
      The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
      Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
      And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
      When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
      When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
      Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
      But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
      Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
      Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
      Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
      When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall. "

      Take it as you will. Good luck to you. when I hit bottom, I think there's nowhere to go but up!
    • motanu89
      motanu89
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.12.2009 Posts: 65
      Get the book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and read it.
    • DecMate
      DecMate
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.01.2009 Posts: 1,152
      Hey kiromanAAKK, sorry to hear about you feeling down.

      I recently have had really bad depression and lack of self-confidence because i took acid and mdma and had a bad trip. I'm not the type to take drugs, im a friendly positive guy but this made me look at the bad side of everything. I know exactly how you feel as i have felt it myself.

      Poker is the least of your worries at the moment. Play it for fun don't try and force yourself to play to make money, while your feeling like this your not going to be playing your A-game anyway.

      From my personal experience you need to set some goals and focus on the positive things you have going, the simple things such as family and being alive. You're going to die one day, why waste it feeling rubbish?

      Recently i quit ALL sugars, junk food, intoxicants (alcohol, cigs, im talking everything) no fizzy drinks, and starting eating as healthy as possible and looking into proper nutrition. Health is wealth! When your body is in shape, theres more chance of your mind being in shape! This is soo true, and for me i am feeling much better since i've done this.

      Get some early nights sleep and drink plenty of water.
      Also, spend some time in nature if you can. Go for walks outside, being stuck in your room all the time isn't natural and your feelings are a result of your body trying to say "I WANA DO SOMTHING ELSE" and if you ignore it then you will suffer!

      It's very simple, but above all, listen to yourself. Our bodies have natural intelligence, you have natural intelligence, so give yourself what you need. Namaste.
    • JonikoP
      JonikoP
      Bronze
      Joined: 15.05.2010 Posts: 600
      Hey Kiroman,

      Sorry to hear how you're feeling and I hope you get out of it soon.

      I'd speak to someone how knows more about it than the people on here - there are plenty of experts that can help you.

      Poker is isolating and can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle, both mentally and physically. I'd take a break from Poker, do some exercise or sports, and reconnect with some old friends. Broadening your horizons and getting healthy can only help your poker career in the long run.

      Good luck,
      J
    • Kalupso
      Kalupso
      Bronze
      Joined: 17.01.2013 Posts: 1
      Hi!

      I was struggling with depression last fall. In the worst part I only went out of the house a couple of hours during a two week period and just wanted to watch TV and sleep.

      My problems started after I fainted because of a panic attack during a lecture at the university. I got the panic attack because I was really hungover and tried to drink a lot of coffee to stay focused. After that I started to get anxiety problems during lectures at the university. This made me avoid lectures more and more, and at it's worst I did stop going to the university. Staying home isolated me from being with friends and being social, and reduced my amount of activity.

      What I'm trying to say is that people often get depressed when they avoid difficult situations and keep a low level of activity because they are depressed. This just makes them more depressed. What you need to do to get out of it are increasing your amount of physical activity (walk at least 30 min a day) and to do the things you have thought about doing for a long time (call your parents or a friend you haven't seen in a long time, taking a break from poker? etc).

      This book helped me tremendously to understand depression and how to cope with it: http://www.amazon.com/The-Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Depression/dp/1572245484/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1358462791&sr=8-2&keywords=depression+act

      GL
    • stewz1
      stewz1
      Basic
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 2
      on recovery road myself.had a few health issues that set it of.slow recovery but getting there.trying to get poker game back.not doing to well just not got the patience yet but got to keep going.good to know others are there to help
    • kiromanAAKK
      kiromanAAKK
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.10.2009 Posts: 4,022
      Hi guys and thank you very much for all the suggestions, tips and encouragements very very appreciate the all lot for real; thank you!

      Well, as seem so much nonscientific and so far from reality, Im instead believe in the all modern new ages theory and in fact, Im experience even right now the power of attraction

      as I felt in this dark all seem that as a consequences and exactly as a black hole in the space works, Im attracting so much crap and negativity at moment that all foul apart in many area of my life.

      In my old town there is a way to say that sound like "rain on the wet" or something like that

      For example, my PC seem strongly orientated to retired as even with a professional repair still don't like to back to work and at same time many other things following the same router unfortunately

      if there is a rocket bottom, well, I must come to touch it as everything go wrongly at moment but anyway move on ...

      seem that few important points has been pointed by you and Im agree 100%

      exercise, diet and healthy sleep are things that are missing here at moment and that Im looking to fix it but first of all I decide that as Im too coward to die a reaction is required and as consequence of that statement action is what I decide to jump in

      first of all, Im going to move home!

      I have spend all my entire life living in big cities first in Italy (where I come from originally) in Naples and Milan and after in London and finally in Bristol (where in fact that was the smallest place I have been and lived)

      but an year ago I decide to test the sweetness of the country side and move in a small village very quiet and remote ... bad idea

      I believe that the isolation due living in a small town in the middle of nowhere has contributed a lot to my actual situation

      the quiet and silence was good in the begin but has been reveled to a downfall for me and that's the first thing Im going to fix

      seem that I have already found a nice place just in the center of the town

      plus, im going as suggested by many of you to try to re-fix my routine with rich diet and lots of exercise

      when fit enough, I will go for a nice beauty that will eventually fill in all my dark moment

      On paper seem and sound fine we must see now how I can make all happen

      Professional help has also been taken even if Im against drugs and stuff like that so I don't really sure how far I can go with it

      for what concern the action at the tables, well, Im in stand-by at moment just try to play the minimum necessary to keep at least the silver status here on Pokerstrategy hope to succeed at least on that

      Guys, thanks a lot one more time, I will try to keep update here with the hope to do well and succeed in case you do not hear from me anymore mean that the worst has happen and Im with Jesus than
    • DecMate
      DecMate
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.01.2009 Posts: 1,152
      Kiroman if you are into spirituality (i am) then i recommend watching Channelhigherself (type that into youtube) he has thousands of videos on all topics, including depression, love, relationships, health, god, meditation, the list goes on! But i recommend watching them, and you can even send him a message about your current situation and he will respond. I've asked him lots of things in the past when i've been feeling low and he always says what you need to hear.

      A girl isn't going to solve your problems, this will be a temporary solution that might feel like fulfillment at first but the problem will soon be brought back to the surface and this time you will project your insecurity's and problems onto her. I've done this in the past and it's no way to start a relationship.
      In order to have a happy relationship you must first be happy within.
    • kiromanAAKK
      kiromanAAKK
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.10.2009 Posts: 4,022
      Originally posted by DecMate
      Kiroman if you are into spirituality (i am) then i recommend watching Channelhigherself (type that into youtube) he has thousands of videos on all topics, including depression, love, relationships, health, god, meditation, the list goes on! But i recommend watching them, and you can even send him a message about your current situation and he will respond. I've asked him lots of things in the past when i've been feeling low and he always says what you need to hear.

      A girl isn't going to solve your problems, this will be a temporary solution that might feel like fulfillment at first but the problem will soon be brought back to the surface and this time you will project your insecurity's and problems onto her. I've done this in the past and it's no way to start a relationship.
      In order to have a happy relationship you must first be happy within.
      Thanks mate; by think about properly what u saying I cannot avoid to agree with you 100%

      Thank you very much :)
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