We Become What We Think About

    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Hey guys, I actually decided to get rid of some of the personal info from my OP. Long story short, I created this blog in 2013, and since then have blogged on and off about my poker career, life thoughts, random topics I wanted to discuss, and also sharing some cool stuff as well. I think as I'm getting older and perhaps wiser, I'm also gathering more experience so therefore it leads to having more stuff to write about. I'm hoping my journey will be interesting for you to read about and perhaps learn something education from me as well. Don't hesitate to ask questions or make comments! :f_thumbsup:
  • 270 replies
    • EmanuelC16
      EmanuelC16
      Bronze
      Joined: 02.01.2010 Posts: 13,897
      Blabber and random shit is what blogs are made for imo.

      Have fun! :)
    • mbml
      mbml
      Black
      Joined: 27.11.2008 Posts: 20,694
      Intro more abt ur poker career. This is first and foremost a poker forum.

      Gl w blogging
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Poker Story
      Part 1
      Ok as promised my poker story. So it all started at home when I was roughly 16 years old. We were having some people over to the house and someone suggested let's all play poker. That person briefly explained the rules and we all played a $5 sit n go basically. I won and was super pumped to have mcdonalds money. Then I'm sitting there on the computer in the office on a super old computer and the guy that brought up poker is like you know you can play poker for fun online because he knew I was really interested in it.

      Then I started playing on pokerstars for fake chips, I played a lot and got millions of chips over time. I remember eventually I became "friends" with other fake chip regulars lmao and we had tables where we would buy in and go all in for x rounds or some shit like that. One day someone from the group started chatting to me in the chat box and offered to buy a mill for $10 so I was kind of confused but agreed. He did keep his word and sent me the $10. I then hoped on 1c/2c table and found out that playing for real money is way more fun, obviously I busted my account fairly quick. But then after I sold some more chips and started playing more and more, playing $1 mtts sngs everything you name it. I think I built up and busted my roll several times.

      So then over time after a few months I would guess I learned about ftp and made an account with a fake name there. Started with free rolls and eventually I ended up luckboxing some mtts, I remember I made friends with some guy, not exactly sure how but we would split our action like 75/25 and one night we both made some fts, I fted 163$ mtt and ftp went down for maintenance and rewarded me $ for 2nd place because of my chip stack and then later that day I made an ft in like a 33 or 50$ rebuy. I think at this time I was around 17 and then talked my mom into depositing $50 to withdraw this money. It was really easy to change account details back then too so that was cool, luckily she finally agreed. I think at 17 I withdrew somewhere between 20-25k and that was probably my first highlight of my poker career. So then after we made some ftps, that guy that I used to spilt action with suggested we collude 6 max turbo sngs and split 50/50, I was like isn't this against the rules but he was like yea but we will never get caught, so I agreed. We ended up killing them and making a decent amount, don't remember exact amount, but for some reason he told one of his friends and then the friend wanted to get in on it or got jealous or some shit I don't remember and ended up reporting us. I got banned :( . So then I took a few months break from poker until I turned 18 and could create my own account.

      When I turned 18 years old I decided I wanted to start playing cash games. I don't remember exactly how I got the money but pretty sure I started with 0, won a free roll, grinded a bunch of $1 turbo sngs and then started playing 10nl in a few months I was at 100nl. After that I never put in that much volume because it was just a cake walk to make 2-3k a months playing every once in a while whenever I felt like it and that was plenty for me. Obviously I missed out on an opportunity to make some good money. In between I played a little bit of everything, won a lot of $26 omaha h/l tournaments, I think like 10+ maybe? Won a few horse tourneys, razz tourney, few plo tourneys. Played every type of cash game but was particularly successful with limit omaha h/l. I remember playing 3/6 limit and 5/10 limit a bunch. Poker was just really a hobby for me and something I did for fun and it felt like the money wasn't "real" because I built it from nothing. So through that stage I definitely busted and rebuilt my roll several times, don't remember exactly how and when it happened.

      Right before black friday my roll hit like 10k and I decided to move up to 200nl and stake/coach few guys. It wasn't as successful as I had planned because I wasn't very good at explaining plus it's very hard to coach someone. As far as how I learned was through friends I made through forums and then watching them play when they would let me and just talking to them about poker. Actually I'm going to split this into two parts pre black friday and post and I'm actually getting kind of tired of writing so will write the 2nd part to this in a bit.
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Part 2
      So as I was saying before right black friday I was playing 100 and 200nl rush and whatever else I felt like, life was great. One day on the way home, a friend texts me saying it's over doj seized stars and ftp, I was like haha good joke, then I came home to find out he wasn't lying. So 4 days before my birthday, ftp goes down with most of my $ on there and no idea wtf happens to poker from here.

      Then I started playing heads up with a friend in the private home games on stars, we usually did like 2nl and shipped on paypal, we played for hours and hours every day while talking on skype. It was a lot of fun and I learned a lot and felt like my game was getting a lot better even though I got raped pretty much every session. I think hu is my favorite form of the game but the truth is I'm not as good as I would like to be, didn't want to put in the time and was too skeptical about keeping $ on different sites to play. Plus I had way too much of an ego and literally sat and played everyone and hated to quit. Also my brm was terrible. I kind of got owned/maybe some run bad playing 2/4+ hu a lot and lost vs very good regs that I would challenge on 2p2. I wish I would have pursued becoming a hu reg differently and was more smart about it but oh well that's in the past and is something I will probably try doing again in the future.

      Anyway at the time I was also playing 10nl deep home games with friends and lost like 100-200$ there lol. Then I heard about merge and got a sick rb deal on a skin called pokerhost I think. I have always been pretty good at negotiating so that worked out well. I attempted to grind up $50 or so and was just unsuccessful because I couldn't take it seriously and didn't want to put in the time, also didn't want to + didn't have the money to deposit.

      So I decided to get a stake for 100nl, we agreed to like 50k hands or so, and my staker was very hard to deal with would not allow me to play more than 8 tables when I wanted to play more, didn't allow me to play hu, just made me bumhunt basically and it was kind of annoying to me I guess. This was my 2nd stake, I was staked for 100nl rush on ftp back in the day when I busted my account and made like 5k after like 100k hands while being like 5-7k below ev or something stupid like that, don't remember exactly. So we ended the stake with profit each, and went our own way.

      Then after that I decided to get another stake from a guy who I'm very good friends with now, this was probably the biggest and one of the best months of my life. I was grinding like a beast, was #1 in the rake race, 16k profit like 120k hands on the tables and boom I hit a BBJ for 92k! I then got lazy and stopped grinding. Luckily I had a very sick deal and was able to keep like ~78k and I sent 30k to my staker which he has used way smarter than I have used my 78k. He turned that 30k into a staking dynasty and now barely plays and bumhunts like 1k+ (EFF U)

      However this is where my upswing ends and I go on a downswing. I withdrew like 40k because that was the max and wanted to attempt to make a staking dynasty of my own, unfortunately out of all of my stakees only like 2 were successful, one was very successful and made me a lot of money but I was a bit unlucky, perhaps made some bad picks with the other guys so overall I made very little money because of one guy instead of a lot of money :/.

      Also at this time a huge whale showed up at 10knl and all of the guys in my skype group were taking shots at him so I took a shot with 100% of my own action. Long story short I ended up losing like 40-50k between 5knl and 10knl. Looking back at this, I don't regret the decision to shot take however I wish I would have maybe quit earlier or sold some action but the truth is had I run well, I would be in a different position and be able to take more shots at these games but that's the way the games are, some regs run well and others dont when taking shots. The whole table except one or two regs weren't rolled for the stakes. Also some of the regs got lucky and got the whale at 5khu when he was in spew mode and made a ton of money off him that way, obviously I wish it was me but like I said I do not regret taking this shot although I do wish I still had the money. I also spent 42k on a car, got myself an Acura TL AWD. It's very nice and I love it however I do regret this decision a bit and think I could have upgraded to like a 5-10k car and had more money to invest.

      However I can't complain too much because I was a huge box on bovada. I deposited $250 through my paylinq and received like $232 because they charged me an $18 fee or so lol. I started playing 50nl hu and just sat everyone and ran good/killed everyone, ran it up to 800-1000, sat 100nl hu, literally anyone and everyone, kept winning and then I sat some reg at 100nl, won liek 5-6 buy ins off him and he says higher stakes? I'm like how high? he says 200nl I'm like ok w/e, sit him there and win another 4 buy ins, he wants 400nl, sit there win another 2-3 buy ins, he asks for 1knl, sit there and win another 2-3k, long story short I busted his roll :P From there I just sat 400nl hu and took shots at 1knl 6 max, I ran like god and ran my roll up to 40k. The only difficult part was cashing out :/. I literally got raped on cash out fees because I'm in NY. I had to cash out via Western Union and it was 900$ max and they charged like 10% every time, so then I finally decided fuck this and called them and convinced them to send wires to my friend. They agreed to send 6 wires, He got 4 and didn't get 2 until like a week ago after I had withdrawn 6 months ago. Withdrawals are really the only reason I quit playing on there. I honestly don't remember if this happened before or after the 10knl shot but I think it kind of happened in between that time.

      Then after that I attempted to become a hu reg and literally played anyone and everyone because of my ego. The truth is I wasn't as good as I thought, I probably could have beat most 100 and 200nl regs but I definitely should have put more time grinding it up and I often played people at 2/4-5/10 sometimes I won, sometimes I lost. I also played some 6 max 9 max and was slowly losing there. Then I kind of gave up on that and decided to get another stake with my original staker that I won a bbj with because I thought I would play better on a stake and put more volume in, I also got another stake on another network from 2 other guys, both parties knew and were fine with it. I was in bunch of mu with 2 the guys and was making small amount of money on merge/lock. I then managed to get out of mu on the small network and then self destructed myself on merge/lock due to run bad/tilt/playing poorly because of family problems plus I was partying way too much, to get my mind off what was going on. I have always been pretty good at not tilting throughout my career but it got the best of me and everything in my life was going down. I had bad grades in college and just too much shit going on that was on my mind, I think college deserves a post of its own so I will do that later and maybe give some useful advice to others my age. Anyway I recently bought out of that stake and currently still staked on that small network with those 2 other guys. I could play on my own but I think staking is +EV due to connections they have, i have a pretty good deal and they can withdraw easier than I can but obv I need to start winning first :P .

      Giraffe for the eyes


      Uploaded with ImageShack.us

      I was 20 tabling on a laptop for part of it, guess which part lol.
      Used to have like a 300k hand sample on my computer where I won at like 2BB but was down like 9k cus of 5knl-10knl wish I could post that but I can't and it doesn't matter too much anyway.

      So yea that's what happened and that's how I got here. In the back of my mind I wish was a 1knl reg right now but unfortunately I am not and it's very hard to have to regrind again because I was able to play 1k+ comfortably not long ago but like I said I don't regret my decisions and hopefully will just learn from them.

      Why am I on PS:
      Few months ago, I was reading through one of my skype groups and pleno1 posted one of his graphs, I was like woah do you coach and he is like yep I sure do, so I got like 10 hours from him and got some coaching. The coaching was really good and if anyone is reading it and is considering whether to get coaching from here or not, definitely do it. He then told me about PS and that I should join so I did. Also keep in mind I have been a member of 2p2 for a few years now and I have made <10 serious strat posts because I didn't want to give away free info, thought people would get reads on me, and was just selfish.

      Then I kind of started posting on here giving advice to guys 2nl-100nl and one of the posters here Farma asked me why don't I become a HJ, so I talked to Pat and he promoted me today :D . Also little spoiler alert but I'm considering getting into producing videos and getting into coaching more because I find it that a lot of times unless the spot is super simple I have to reteach myself and figure out why it's profitable to do something. I definitely think I can help people that are playing 2nl-100nl for sure. And I'm currently working on teaching a good friend how to play poker who absolutely knows like nothing about it kind of like pleno1 and ingrid. I told him that poker is not easy at all and requires a lot of time and commitment and that if he wasn't serious not to waste my time and he says he is so we will see. I have had success teaching one of my other friends that knew a decent amount about poker, but I do think I'm a lot better now than I have ever been before and am going to work on my game as much as I can.

      And of course one of the best mid-stakes regs Internet produces videos here which are amazing and I <3 so that alone is amazing to me.

      It seems like this community is more European based, so hopefully I can fit in :P
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Just wanted to post saying any of you can feel free to add me or ask any questions you want :)

      Also sorry for super long posts but there was just so much on my mind and wanted to include as many details as possible to make it interesting. I'm not a very good writer and get off track a lot and probably don't transition very well but I tried my best.

      Over the next few days I want to work on some goals for 2013 and post them here so I can reflect on how I did in 2014 hopefully.
    • carrapa
      carrapa
      Bronze
      Joined: 09.12.2010 Posts: 1,295
      following :D
    • cutegoldfish
      cutegoldfish
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.11.2009 Posts: 4,335
      sounds good and looking forward to more juicy posts!
    • muumionu
      muumionu
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.07.2012 Posts: 816
      I play nl50 heads up at the moment, wouldn't mind getting a contact like you heheh :) your story is very inspiring
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Originally posted by muumionu
      I play nl50 heads up at the moment, wouldn't mind getting a contact like you heheh :) your story is very inspiring
      Like I said you and anyone else are welcome to add me on here and we can exchange skype names in pm. I have quite a bit of stories to post just a bit exhausted right now and don't feel like typing.
    • muumionu
      muumionu
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.07.2012 Posts: 816
      Sent you invitation :P
    • belthazorrrr
      belthazorrrr
      Bronze
      Joined: 12.02.2011 Posts: 1,334
      Subbed and Gl :)
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Hey guys, I figured it was time for me to write another update. In this post I kind of want to talk about my goals for this year even though I haven't made any yet but I kind of have an idea.

      So earlier I mentioned I would make a post about college and my thoughts on it. Also as a side note I'm really sorry for saying "so" as much as I do but it's kind of a bad habit and I can't help it. Anyway little bit about my college history/mistakes/stories although I think I will leave the stories for other posts. All throughout high school I have always had very good grades with very little effort, and often got 4-5 hours of sleep because of poker/watching movies/etc until I found the gym. As my senior year was coming to an end I was sure I wanted to take my first year off to possible pursue playing poker as a professional, I also was considering moving to a warmer place and going to college there, to be honest I had no idea what I want to do. I didn't apply to a college until basically the last minute. I got accepted and went there.

      I'm not even sure how to describe the first semester to be honest. It was my first time living on my own, even though I pretty much did whatever I wanted in high school, parents weren't super strict. The first few weeks I partied a lot but went to all of my classes, however as time went on, I began partying more and more and not going to classes. Also deep down I kind of became depressed and lost a lot of my motivation. I ended up not going to any of the tests, I honestly don't know my reasoning for this and I ended up failing 4 of my classes with a 0 and my gpa was something ridiculous like .26.

      Second semester, I completely cut out the partying, in fact I remember I went to a one party the whole semester. Instead I was very focused on the gym, going there every day for up to 2 hours day. I did pretty good in all of my classes but ended up failing psychology, which was the class I thought love however I hated it and never showed up to class and ended up just cheating on every test, my friend did the same and got 2.0 and I failed by a few points (obv run bad :p) However I did do pretty well in all of my other classes and got my gpa to 1.56 or so I don't remember exactly. After this semester I decided I don't really enjoy just spending 2 hours at the gym every day and secluding myself from everyone and I need to spend time hanging out with people so I decided I'm going to try to find a balance in my life.

      This third semester was definitely my favorite. I met some cool people and made a lot of friends. I also started hanging out with some people in a frat. I never thought I would actually want to join a frat because I feel like they are always douchey/assholes/annoying etc. However these guys were really athletic, cared about school more than the frat stuff and were just fun to hang out with, so I decided I wanted to pledge but I needed a 2.3 gpa so I would have to work pretty hard to get it. The truth is I didn't do enough work and ended up getting 1.96. I thought I could get away with putting in little effort however I had a hard time with accounting and I did have a friend help me at the end of the semester but it was too late. Also before the semester I emailed my advisor several times and apparently he was overseas on a vacation or something so he never got back to me and I registered for the wrong classes. This semester I learned from him that if I retook the classes I got 0's in, my gpa would be much higher, it would easily been 3.x, also very tilting but I registered for a stat 100 course and the first semester I got a 0 in stats 125 even though its basically the exact same course it didn't replace my 0 and if I had known I would have obviously signed up for stats 125, so a little bit of run bad there however don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's his fault that I made some very bad decisions and got those 0's.

      So at the moment, they kicked me out because i didn't get higher than 2.0 (sooo tilting X( ) but it's only for a semester and pretty sure if I appeal this there is a 99% chance they will just let me back in because it looks bad if their graduation % rate goes down and they obv want me to graduate. So looking back, what did I learn?
      I think I definitely learned a lot of things. I was definitely immature and irresponsible, that's for sure. I mean I have been very disappointed with myself, just feel like I let myself down because realistically these classes were all not that hard had I put in the time and work studying for them. I also learned that having a balance is very hard and respect people that are capable of doing so. Also my mistakes definitely cost me a lot of money. However I don't think it's too late to turn my life around and fix this. I haven't even called to appeal my case yet cus I feel kind of ashamed but need to soon :/

      Anyway the plan is to just grind poker while I have this semester and the summer off. The truth is part of me like 10% of me doesn't want to return and just grind poker however I do think I should just finish my degree. That's it for now, in the next post I will talk about some of my goals for this year.
    • UPAY4DINNER
      UPAY4DINNER
      Bronze
      Joined: 27.09.2009 Posts: 21,922
      Subbed :)
    • double2
      double2
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 04.11.2008 Posts: 14,642
      Nice blog and nice writing. Following. :)
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Figured I would cross post this from another blog I posted in.

      On the whole to attend universities or not: if you read my blog, I have a long ass boring post about how I attended college for 3 semesters and got myself kicked out. Anyway so since then I have been thinking and trying to figure out if I do truly want to go back or not and one day said to my mom that I wasn't going back and got the "No you are, just get the degree and after you can do whatever you want". Honestly the same thing was going through my head as you talk about, why not pursue my dream first and I can always get loans/go back to college in the future if I really want to.

      Also thinking back to high school, after I high school I really wanted to become a poker pro really bad, obv I wasn't as good as I am now, but I know I would have gave it my all. And everyone and I mean everyone told me, "No you will never go back to college if you take a year off, it's statistically proven etc." I really wanted to tell everyone to fuck off and I'm not like everyone else and want to pursue my own goals and I know I can just easily go next year, well the truth is I didn't really have that option at the time plus I was prob not as mature as I am now but I still have long ways to go and lots of stuff to learn about life.

      Anyway I will never know if things would have been different if I was more committed to the game few years back when there was more money to be made but it's interesting to think about it.

      So right now with being out of college, I think this is my shot to prove to myself and everyone else that I'm capable of being responsible and making money from poker.

      Also on the whole getting an education through college and how some people are millionaires/billionaires without completing college:
      I think there is information available online for almost any field you want to get into and it just comes down to how bad do you want to learn and if you are capable of teaching yourself and committing to digging through a bunch of useless crap to find the useful information. So it's def possibly to learn things but not very many are capable of it. When I fell in love with working out, I would spend hours reading articles about it, watching videos, etc etc. So yea it's definitely possible but very hard to do.
    • vuciitis
      vuciitis
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.02.2011 Posts: 1,314
      Very interesting story, will be following your blog :)
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      I'm such a terrible blogger but I guess an update now is better than never, sorry guys. So much has happened since my last update, I don't even know where to start. Anyway I will try to make this short and interesting.

      First of all goals for this year in no particular order:
      [ ] Enjoy life with balance.
      So simple yet so hard to achieve, I think so often I find myself miserable because I either am working too hard or partying too hard, I have yet to learn how to have a balance in life but will hopefully get better at it.
      [ ] 100k+ profit from poker for the year.
      I think this goal is so I have something to work towards, table select more, and grind more.
      [ ] Get my body to the shape I want.
      I'm so terrible at this, I started working out in high school and have since learned quite a bit about it and have a decent idea of what I'm doing but I basically go through phases, either working out really hard or getting lazy and missing days, eating poorly etc etc. Time to put in the work and continue throughout the year.
      [ ] Possibly find a gf
      Not sure how I feel about this, has pros and cons but I feel like its been forever since I had one so maybe time to get another one?
      [ ] Turn 21, Vegas, WSOP and of all that maybe?
      Not really too much of a goal, but something I would like to do this year since I turn 21 in April.
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Right now I'm in this stupid 3rd world country with god awful internet. It's so hard to grind here, Some sessions I control it fairly well and realize it's better than nothing. But last session got really tilted because of 3-4 disconnects in a row, because my mom decided to browse stupid videos/facebook/and download stupid shit after I asked her not to. And every time her internet doesn't work she thinks I did
      something to disconnect her. Quite funny and tilting at same time. The benefit of being here is that I get food made for me all the time and have been eating really well and gaining weight which is really good for lifting.
      Read a post not too long ago by my coach about how higher body fat levels are better for training and at lower body fat level the body is at risk to injuries. Which is pretty obvious if you look at like heavy lifters who put up really crazy numbers vs body builders for example or even a better example would be athletes that have lower body fat level due to the need to move around and stuff. So yea it all depends on what
      you want to accomplish and what your goals are but typically got to eat a lot and lift a lot to gain muscle. Anyway that's pretty much all I'm working on and hopefully I can work hard now so I can do something fun during the summer. I promise to try to post more updates.
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Decided to make another update, I know two days in a row, shocking! I'm just

      sitting here attempting to download CS:GO, it's been taking all day X(

      but whatever will try not to complain too much. Also seems like grinding going to

      be next to impossible while I'm here because of the constant d/c. Seems like it's

      too costly when I d/c, I'm going to try but I have a bad feeling about it. Although

      right now I actually have an urge to grind and put in the hours. On the plus side I

      have been eating a lot and getting back in pretty good shape while here. The one

      thing that's a lot better here is the food and having it cooked for me every day. I'm

      guessing I have put on like 2kgs/5lbs or so while here. I'm really happy to get back

      in the habbit of going to the gym and trying to be healthy. I think it's very +EV

      for everyone to hit the gym, it's hard work but makes you feel and look so much

      better imo. Anyway I'm done for now, will update more later.