How Do You Control Your Anger When Your On Tilt From A Bad Beat?

    • kenjace
      kenjace
      Basic
      Joined: 30.12.2012 Posts: 4
      hi everyone, i really had a bad temper everytime I got a bad beat, I usually scream and sometimes pound my mouse until it breaks, I almost beat my laptop. I really cant control it and my girlfriend is so scared that she's thinking that I might hurt her. She even told me that I should see a psychologist. Are u also doing this when you are on tilt? How do you deal with it? Thanks.
  • 25 replies
    • jonnyjm
      jonnyjm
      Bronze
      Joined: 24.03.2008 Posts: 447
      Why get angry about getting your chips/money in good? It makes no sense :/ ?(

      If you get like a zillion beats in a short time frame sure it might get a little irritating. If this is the case just stop playing and chill out for a bit and then play again when you want to.

      Also i would put your girlfriends feelings before poker so maybe you don't play when shes around if it's going to turn you into an angry rage? Tbh i wouldn't be playing poker when my girlfriend is around, i'd be wanting to be doing other things...maybe some live heads up pokeher ;)
    • HergenL
      HergenL
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.06.2011 Posts: 2,548
      Hi kenjace,

      Personally I'm using breathing techniques to keep my calm when the cards run against me. I've adopted these from classical Yoga, but there's plenty of different techniques to be found on the web to calm yourself down by controlled breathing.

      I can just recommend you to give it a try, it definitely helps me and controlling your breath is much easier to perform while sitting at the tables than, say, taking a walk with your dog... ;)

      Best regards,
      Hergen
    • kenjace
      kenjace
      Basic
      Joined: 30.12.2012 Posts: 4
      We just talked about it with my girlfriend, we made a deal and I'm not playing poker when she's around, your post helped me. Thanks buddy!
    • kenjace
      kenjace
      Basic
      Joined: 30.12.2012 Posts: 4
      I'll try doing those things, I just googled it and it really helps. Thanks for the post!
    • HergenL
      HergenL
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.06.2011 Posts: 2,548
      Glad if I could help :)

      You could also share your experiences in a blog on our Forum:

      Your Poker Blogs

      That's a great way to work on your self-control as well, and you'll usually get tons of hints from other players and feedback can be very motivating in general.

      Wish you the best of success for your further poker career!

      Kind regards,
      Hergen
    • inoimbluffingdou
      inoimbluffingdou
      Basic
      Joined: 09.06.2013 Posts: 42
      If you didn't get disappointed you wouldn't be human. But I like the idea of not playing when your girlfriend is around.
    • UPAY4DINNER
      UPAY4DINNER
      Bronze
      Joined: 27.09.2009 Posts: 21,926
      Some pretty good suggestions in here!

      Thank you, everyone!
    • jonnyjm
      jonnyjm
      Bronze
      Joined: 24.03.2008 Posts: 447
      You welcome kenjace, glad to be able to help. Wish you and your girlfriend all the best as well as your poker! Good luck.
    • serverm07
      serverm07
      Basic
      Joined: 08.08.2012 Posts: 1,130
      Hey,

      I actually had one of those sick bad beats live where I get it on tqx with Tt vs qk for a pretty large 1.6k pot at 5/5 and he goes runner runner k. This was to put me even and I had taken some suck outs through out the night to make me be down. I was like sigh shrugged it off and the guy was like I'm really sorry man you had me crushed, I'm like don't worry about it the hand played itself. And the dealer was like in shock how calm I was, he is like man you can yell at me if you want, I jokingly did an impression of one of the old guys that plays there "you are the worst fucking dealer ever".

      So then the game didn't break and continued playing 3 handed with two fish and I ended up busting them both anyway and felt and looked very professional. And it was just like at that point I realized no sense of getting mad about something so silly. Obv not happy but regroup and continue grinding.
    • SPeedFANat1c
      SPeedFANat1c
      Gold
      Joined: 04.01.2009 Posts: 5,071
      reminds me my work and my coworker. He while working if something does not go so good - he gets angry, just he is not shouting, but silently I hear his negativeness. I bet if he would be alone, he would start shouting.

      And it makes me feel not good when somebody near me is mad. I prefer jokes or neutral things but not this kind of stuff.
      Maybe I should learn how to ignore it.

      ANd at work I apply similar theory as in poker - not everytime things can go well, its imposible that they always go well, I also make many mistakes and so on but I am thinking about long run - I am doing well in the long run at my work.

      And its much easier because salary does not get variance. But still some people get mad. He should probably play poker and see the variance when his direct money depends on how good things go :)
    • icew0lf
      icew0lf
      Basic
      Joined: 22.06.2013 Posts: 2
      If you haven't already, I would recommend reading Jared Tendler's Mental Game of Poker. If this is a common occurrence, there is probably some underlying issue for your tilt. Perhaps you are playing when you are getting hungry or thirsty.. or maybe you've had a bad day or lack sleep.. playing underrolled, or maybe it is just a fundamental misunderstanding of how to approach the game.

      I would recommend keeping a journal as you play. The moment you start feeling your temper coming in to play, start writing what it is you are feeling and why you feel that way. From there, make it part of your regular poker study by reading this journal and seeing if you can figure out what your trigger points are.
    • VorpalF2F
      VorpalF2F
      Super Moderator
      Super Moderator
      Joined: 02.09.2010 Posts: 8,913
      Originally posted by icew0lf
      If you haven't already, I would recommend reading Jared Tendler's Mental Game of Poker. If this is a common occurrence, there is probably some underlying issue for your tilt. Perhaps you are playing when you are getting hungry or thirsty.. or maybe you've had a bad day or lack sleep.. playing underrolled, or maybe it is just a fundamental misunderstanding of how to approach the game.

      I would recommend keeping a journal as you play. The moment you start feeling your temper coming in to play, start writing what it is you are feeling and why you feel that way. From there, make it part of your regular poker study by reading this journal and seeing if you can figure out what your trigger points are.
      Well said, icew0lf!
      I couldn't have put it better.

      I agree about the journal.

      Our blog section fills that role for many members.


      Since this is your first post here ...

      Welcome to the forums!

      Perhaps you'd like to take a moment and introduce yourself

      All the best,
      --VS
    • OZSA
      OZSA
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.05.2009 Posts: 804
      those who tilt big time won't have a good time with poker, I remember in my first year I raged like a maniac, also with girlfriend near me most of the time, it took me about 2years to control tilt, but after 3-4years tilt came back, mostly because I lack patience these days, the only thing you can do is to understand variance and try to think of something positive, if you can't, just ragequit the session everytime you go on tilt, that will save you loads of money. back in the days I played 2-3-4k hands in one session, but I tilted at least half of it, so then I just started playing 500hand sessions and that boosts winrate more than anything. half hour sessions are good, you keep maximum focus and you play your A game, after half hour - one hour slowly you just go on robot mode and either tilt from winning or losing, you get too aggressive or too passive.
    • justkyle88
      justkyle88
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.05.2008 Posts: 7,596
      Hey kenjace,

      I think I've broken 3 mice in my lifetime of playing poker, with experience and mental development it will pass and you'll wonder why you used to get so angry.

      1. Play when your in a good mood. (Don't play tired/angry/stressed)

      2. Read "The Poker Mind-set". This book has helped me dramatically.

      3. Have a browse of these two threads:
      +++Q&A with Jared Tendler!!+++
      [EmbraceTilt] Erik Stenqvist: Tilt, A-Game, Mindset, and Lifecoaching ~ Q&A

      Hope these help.

      Regards,

      Kyle.
    • Acespeci
      Acespeci
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.04.2012 Posts: 340
      I control my anger by listening to music especially Hip Hop and I play chess after my poker session to warm down, relax and to forget about it.

      Posting in the pokerstrategy community will help too and help you get the bad beat off your chest.

      The more you play poker your suppose to get use to the bad beat and you should know in the long run you will feel more happy from your good beat or coolers
    • ShreddedLettuce
      ShreddedLettuce
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.07.2010 Posts: 14
      When you are on Tilt, it is too late.
      You need to know the signs of the "incoming" Tilt.

      Watch the video en_01_erikstenqvist_050313_psychology_FindingYourA-GameGuide

      on this site.

      Money cannot buy that knowledge.
    • outspan
      outspan
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.02.2010 Posts: 1,196
      It's a bit strange to me that nobody really talks about it, but for me meditation really is *the* technique for dealing with anger, tilt, anxiety, or any other unproductive emotions.

      Read about Zen and Zazen. There are some great books such as "The miracle of mindfulnes", or watch videos such as this when you have time: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijnt-eXukwk (starts at 57:00) and start practicing meditation in the morning or before a session, you'll see a huge difference in both how you handle emotions and your concentration level.
    • NightFrostaSS
      NightFrostaSS
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.10.2008 Posts: 5,255
      . Edited by HollyMichelle

      Now now - let's keep this clean!
    • DonkeyDirk
      DonkeyDirk
      Silver
      Joined: 15.06.2010 Posts: 522
      Originally posted by justkyle88
      Hey kenjace,

      I think I've broken 3 mice in my lifetime of playing poker, with experience and mental development it will pass and you'll wonder why you used to get so angry.

      1. Play when your in a good mood. (Don't play tired/angry/stressed)

      2. Read "The Poker Mind-set". This book has helped me dramatically.

      3. Have a browse of these two threads:
      +++Q&A with Jared Tendler!!+++
      [EmbraceTilt] Erik Stenqvist: Tilt, A-Game, Mindset, and Lifecoaching ~ Q&A

      Hope these help.

      Regards,

      Kyle.
      My mouse costs 100 EUR that prevents me from breaking it :)
      Learning to deal with tilt also requires alot of XP in poker when i lose a big pot now i dont really care that much anymore because i know everything will be just fine in the long run. Also i play overrolled on my stake so some bad beats do not affect my BR that much so it does not tilt me when i lose. :)

      Also listen to Erik Stenqvist his vids :)
    • 1
    • 2