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Poker and the people around you

    • finchybg
      Joined: 16.12.2007 Posts: 910
      Hi, it's 3 AM here but I don't feel like sleeping and just wanted to initiate a topic connected not with the game itself but something else.

      My question is, do you share your poker ups and downs to the people surrounding you. Do you think you should do so?

      This evening, I capped my downswing at 15 buy-ins and I felt like I have to share it with somebody but nobody was online, except the people who are to be my classmates in the university(I still don't know them personally, just Skype). I told them that I have lost money and I am a bit crushed, and they insisted to know how much I had lost. Finally, I told them and I had the feeling that I made the impression of some sort of serious gambler.

      I mean, 500$(the amount I lost for like 1 hour) in my country is close to the average salary for a whole month and to a person who does not know a shit about poker this sounds quite.. serious.

      I'm not happy with myself, because after I began to play for bigger amounts of money, I said to myself - don't talk much about that with people around you, and especially with people who are not your close friends. I had several reasons - firstly, nobody would like it if I brag how much money I have made - since some of my friends work many hours/day for 1/5 of that money. Secondly, basically poker is not an interesting topic for the majority of the people. Thirdly, an unknown may think that I am some kind of addict as I play for that amount of money. A lazy kid who blows off vast amounts on gambling(for many people poker IS gambling, what do they know).

      Well, I broke the promise to myself, telling my colleagues about my poker adventures, and I feel bad about it. Not that I've done something serious - I just broke the promise to myself. I could just say "I lost money, nevermind how much", as I've said several times before and topic's over.

      What do you think, should one try to keep the details of his poker career to himself? Do you talk to your friends about it? Do you think that poker affects your relationship with the people around you?

      I don't want people to perceive me as a gambler - and actually I have success persuading my parents and my relatives that actually poker is positive. But still, I think that I should keep the details for myself, and I should never whine when I lose, neither boast off when I win.

      I definitely think that I should keep my poker adventures away from my daily social life - maybe not completely, but only talk about it when I am asked to. And never to unknows. I hope that I won't break this promise once again.

      What do you think about it?
  • 13 replies
    • RMB
      Joined: 29.03.2008 Posts: 599
      I personally don't see it as a negative thing, probably because of im playing it myself. but i dont think its bad to tell people as long as you dont mention the amounts since sometimes the amounts can make people worry,1/2 USD becomes much in the long run.

      But i personally try to improve my gameplay that way when i talk about my poker addiction (thats what they call it) I play only for profit and I earn money instead of losing, that way i could even impress them.

      A bad addictive player is bad, but an addictive good player? there is no such thing.

      IMO, keep it to yourself until you jump out of chair and won 600$ and you cant wait to tell your friends. then you can be proud, because it can be a sign of you improving your game play.

      Good luck.
    • Cardbender
      Joined: 03.03.2008 Posts: 1,076

      I have a simular situation where my room mates know when I get a bad beat or win a big pot because I'll swear or cheer.

      I dont get the are you addicted because they know and I know I am. :) They will watch me play when I am at final tables in wsop, lapt, qualies etc... and they see how close I come to big cash so now they understand why I invest so much time. (they call me the unluckiest poker player ever because they only see my horrible luck in the late stages and miss my good luck in the ealier stages.) :)

      * I'll win one this year!!!!!

      What I was interested to see was when my room mates girlfriend asked me yesterday how my poker summer was? When I told her I didnt play for the last 2 months she was shocked.

      So people although they dont mention anything will assume I have a problem because poker as they know it is like tossing a coin.

      This situation has now made me realize that it probably isnt best to just play poker all the time. But rather set-up a schedual to play so I dont get too caught up. Others wont just see me playing poker and I'll probably get laid more often. ;)

      (On a side note it's interesting that when someone is playing poker alot it's regarded in regular scociety as a negative but when people play guitar hero or wii or WOW more often it is rarely regarded as a problem)

      When it comes to winning and lossing I think I mostly keep it to my self but like this summer when I cashed out all my poker accounts and went on a wicked trip. I told my friends that poker allowed me to do what I did and they can now see poker can be profitable.

      This I think is important to remember.... cash some money out and go on a trip or buy something nice so when the downswing hits youll have something to remember or show for it. And others wont be like what a dumb ass he lost everything what an addict.....

      Man do I love poker.... well all games really... but poker is quite a challege for me considering I'm still rookie. So I'll stick with it untill I get bored.

      One day I'll show all the skeptics and win the WSOP!!! :D
    • Timor83
      Joined: 08.06.2007 Posts: 2,793
      I'm quite open about it (both for winnings and losses), except for people from who I know for sure that they won't get that I'm "in control". But those close to me began to think of it as pretty normal (though they recognize that it wouldn't anything for them) to win/lose so much money in short notice. They think I'm intelligent and disciplined enough to handle my money and my poker-related things well and don't view it as "me putting a huge bunch of money on the line" or "compulsive gambling". Bear in mind this is after I won a WSOP seat, before that not everybody was fully convinced.
      On the other hand, if you feel bad about telling, then don't. However, I had the same feeling once. I noticed that being open about it, and letting the results speak for themselves whether or not I'm losing or winning, will convince most people that you don't have a problem, but are trying to make money :)
    • 098799
      Joined: 23.07.2007 Posts: 1,245
      I think you are all sick hustlers and poker is so wrooooooooong.

      Did this sound convincing? :)
    • Yoghi
      Joined: 10.09.2007 Posts: 14,387
      You forgot to add this

      I dont talk about it unless its relevant or people ask me about it. If you talk about poker to people you dont know I think you have a problem.
    • rhinoneil
      Joined: 16.04.2008 Posts: 1,159
      I dont think that talking about poker, particularly losses, to people who dont understand the game at all is of any benefit to you.
      I think if you have lost and you want to talk about it, talk to someone who knows what it feels like, someone who can evaluate hands you may have played badly or just can sympathise or give you the boost you need to get back on the horse so to speak.
      Otherwise you might just as well talk to yourself as you are not going to get a response that satisfies you in any way.
      If you cant find someone relevant to talk to, post on a board and read the replies later.
    • timukasr
      Joined: 26.05.2007 Posts: 1,820
      I hate myself from day when I told my friends that I won $2000 in one tourney (one guy owes me $100 and I'm not sure if i'm getting it back now). Also they think that poker is so easy money and I am now some rich guy :( . I haven't told them that I lost $1200 in August and probably wouldn't because they'll say I'm psycho fo sho (I told that to one of classmate who plays poker here at and he thinks I'm an addict).
    • slikec
      Joined: 04.02.2008 Posts: 1,155
      :) I know i am an addict for games :D Poker is just of the games i tried so far. I mean i quit one game and week later i have to find another one. I am not bothered anyway everyone is addicted with sth. As long you try to obtain addiction in ways you think are good is ok.

      I mean why playing basketball for 5 hours a day is ok? Why is nothing wrong to drink like crazy every weekend or even more often?
      Or why working 12hours a day 6 days per week is ok?

      They are also addicted just with sth. else and as i not try to judge others they should be to smart about my life :D

      And yes i told some friends about poker and enjoy watching there reactions. I mean is all about having fun right ;)


    • finchybg
      Joined: 16.12.2007 Posts: 910
      Nice to see that a thorough discussion has emerged :)

      Actually at the time I wrote this I felt pretty bad and my post was more emotional than it should be. It's everything OK since the day after and everything is under control - and I think that I won't repeat the "i lost 500$ in 1 hour" story to unknows. Because if you talk about a monthly salary loss in 1 hour,without mentioning your previous successes - which I am quite satisfied with, it's normal that a random person may think that I have a problem.

      Which I do not actually. I just felt like sharing it, so that I did not continue to play in "tilt" mode - which was the better option after all. That's the reason I wrote the post, too - which was way better than telling my future classmates but anyway - a mistake I admit :) But I guess it won't make them a continious bad impression and they are about to see what a nice and cool guy I am(especially the female part) ;)

      Actually, I have not talked about poker at all in the last weeks and I have noticed that some of my friends sometimes ask "how is poker going?" and they know that I've never lost my bankroll - so as I think it over, I really think that nobody believes that I am addicted or something. It's just a part of my life - and a money-making part - they see it when I am shopping for instance.

      As someone mentioned, and I completely agree with that, a poker player should cash out some funds on a regular basis and FEEL the money. This way you know for what after all you have invested so much time. And because I already had much money in my pocket, even this sick downswing I had was just a part of the game - because I am still a winning player and I may afford many things - some of which my acquaintances cannot.

      So - yes, nobody around me thinks I have a problem, and nobody who gets to know me better would think it. TBH, I think that there is a bit of friendly envy ;)
      But sometimes it's not that easy money and we all know that.

      Cardbender, I'm about to move to Sofia as I am a university student after the 15th of September - and I'm sharing an appartment with other people(although I am alone in my room). We'll see whether they are about to estimate correctly the occasions when I am having a beat.
    • delete461
      Joined: 04.07.2008 Posts: 1,036
      I want to make a go of poker in the long term, but at some stage I am going to meet a lot of resistance from the people close to me whose lives have been hugely affected by a problem gambler in the family. My wife knows I am playing a lot and doesnt seem too concerned at this stage because she knows I havent spent any of my own money on it and I show her charts and articles of how much money good players can make, but people who dont understand the game think it is simply a game of chance like any other form of gambling. Everyone knows I am extremely good at mathematics so my plan when I face them is to try and explain that it is a mathematical game, not just some gambling "system" I have dreamed up
    • TheBrood
      Joined: 17.07.2008 Posts: 4,383
      My wife isnt convinced but knows that if I put my mind to it, Ill get better. I cant help telling her about some ocasional hands =)
      She knows Im always addicted to something and I guess she thinks its better than drugs lol
    • zubrils2
      Joined: 21.08.2008 Posts: 45
      For me it's pretty much easy because I have pretty close friends and one of them is playing seriously too, not just for fun. Sometimes we play together so I can talk about my loses, wins and all kinds of situations and ask for their opinion. I try to hide it from my family because I don't want them to know that I'm playing with real money before I've made money with it and prove that it's not a waste of time and it don't affect my ability to study.

      In school I try not to talk about it just because if someone knows how to play poker there he is pretty newby player and I don't want to attract attention with it anyways.

      So I can say that it really works for me ok just because those few close friends which understand it.
    • Hlynkinn
      Joined: 14.06.2008 Posts: 4,998
      My dude Lupe Fiasco once told me

      "I never gamble... You see I always win"

      Now that's whats up

      for the addicted thingy everybody is talking about here. Xzibit said back in the day

      "too much of anything can make you an addict"

      So I think somehow most of us here are addicted to poker... But not addicted to gambling...

      I talk to my friends about poker and my wins and losses. Most of them know the basic idea of poker and have lost some money them selfs on the internet :)
      But I'm still just a low stakes player so the numbers aint big :)