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Ding Dong!

    • StartlingGrope
      StartlingGrope
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.06.2014 Posts: 67
      That's the door. I'm not expecting anybody so I'm going to leave it.

      Ding dong, ding dong.

      That seems to be quite urgent ringing. There was once a time when I would have just answered it, timed out my hands and got rid of whoever it was as quickly as possible. Not now though. I have eight tables open, I'm playing well and missing hands is very definitely negative ev. Or, to put it a different way, I'm busy at work and time is literally money.

      Dingdongdingdongdingdong

      If that's my wife and she's locked herself out then I'm going to go ape. I grab my phone and call her. Now I find myself multitasking between playing hands, speaking to my wife and watching Netherlands v Argentina on TV. Not a good situation. She then starts a conversation and I don't hang up because I'm rather fond of her and I don't want her to divorce me. Eventually the conversation stops, but not before the same sound again.

      Dingdongdingdongdingdong

      Well I'm ignoring it. If it was that important then they'd call me. I settle my focus to the tables for a few seconds and I'm suddenly aware of a shadow at the window. It's the window cleaner and he's come for his money. He's a bloody idiot! He never assumes that nobody's in when they don't answer the door so goes around the house looking for signs of life. I ignore his gaze.

      Knock knock

      Oh, for God's sake, don't knock on the window. That's intrusive and really not cool. This is very awkward now. He can see me and I can see him and I think there's a social expectation to answer the door - after all, why wouldn't I unless I was crazy or a total bastard. Who wouldn't be annoyed if they knew somebody was in but they refused to answer the door. I'm not moving though. I have around $100 on the tables in front of me and I'm not risking a penny of it because some cloth-laden fool has turned up at my house unannounced.

      "Window cleaner." he mouths through at the window, his breath dirtying the glass he cleaned two days earlier. I half look up and make a strange gesture at my laptop trying to indicate that I'm too busy to walk the seven metres to my front door. This would be a tough concept to get through to most people but particularly this guy who, frankly, is incredibly stupid. He stands and waits, obviously expecting me to get up very soon. I don't.

      Knock knock

      He's still knocking. Why won't he get this? Why doesn't he understand that if I was answering then I would have gone to the door when he first rang almost ten minutes ago. I'm now heads up on two tables and on high blinds in four more. I absolutely don't need lunatics with ladders distracting me. I put my head down and focus on the poker. He remains by the window with his expectant pose for a further minute or so before, at long last, heading off, presumably to bother somebody else. I finish second in both heads up situations and quietly curse to myself as I play the remaining games.

      Our next conversation could be interesting. :f_confused:
  • 8 replies
    • andiofwbafc
      andiofwbafc
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 397
      Haha :D

      Nothing worse than that. Yes your next meeting with him will be quite something I'd like to see lol
    • CoreySteel
      CoreySteel
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.10.2006 Posts: 3,366
      lol, awesome read.

      I too am not answering door for anyone and I'm playing cash games :) . Unless there's a package that I expect :P
    • sherriffatman
      sherriffatman
      Bronze
      Joined: 30.04.2009 Posts: 273
      :D ~ funny read!

      ~ some ppl just won't take 'no-answer' for an answer, will they!?

      ~ I have had a few similar sketches, and even had to lean-out of the window one time to tell a workman to just leave the cups on the doorstep! (I had made the mistake of making them a brew earlier, before I started grinding).
      He gave me a really strange look when I indicated I was busy, and would retrieve my crockery later, like I had just called his Mother a bitch or something!?

      #somepeople!?
    • gadget51
      gadget51
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 5,622
      Hi all,

      Moved to Small Talk, it's just as funny there but a little more appropriate I think. :s_love:

      Regards and enjoy,

      Mal.
    • FFRRAANNKKIIEE
      FFRRAANNKKIIEE
      Bronze
      Joined: 30.12.2010 Posts: 3,107
      Haha nice, gg OP
    • VorpalF2F
      VorpalF2F
      Super Moderator
      Super Moderator
      Joined: 02.09.2010 Posts: 10,705
      If you're alone in the house, you might consider hanging a sign on the door,
      "If no answer, I am too busy to come to the door.
      Please [go [to]] <location or action suggestion> [and <further action suggestion>]"

      If I'm alone playing poker, I call forward my home phone to my mobile and vice versa.
      Callers get a "line out of order" tone, and they can't leave pesky voice mail.

      Best of luck,
      --VS
    • StartlingGrope
      StartlingGrope
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.06.2014 Posts: 67
      Originally posted by gadget51
      Hi all,

      Moved to Small Talk, it's just as funny there but a little more appropriate I think. :s_love:

      Regards and enjoy,

      Mal.
      Ah, the story of my life. :f_biggrin:

      The travails of a poker player so bad that his experiences don't even warrant classification of actually being poker related. I'm doomed to roam in a parsnip laden online world of irrelevancy, counting and threads that begin with 'The poster below is'.
    • ipeaceonu
      ipeaceonu
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2007 Posts: 232
      What i thought of when i read the thread title