Relationship Advice!!

    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      This is probably the last place I'd think about to talk about relationships, but I was passing by so heck why not?

      This has been buzzing my brain for a while: I just moved out of hometown to get into college on a nearby city. Before college I was one of the skinniest, weakest guys ever. I was also one of the most anti-social and annoying persons in the entire Universe. Meanwhile I leave my High School class, Summer rolls by and I start consistently hanging out with a new group, and I started heavy eating and working out. As a result, I grew in every way.

      Now here's the thing: about 1-1.5 months ago as I was going to college, I passed by the prettiest girl I had in my High School class walking towards me. Because I had no time for small talk, I simply raised my hand to give her a hi5, but after it none of us took the hand back. We just let our hands drag along each other's hand and body until we broke apart. Ever since, every time I see her, she is always open and smiling and stuff, but I'm usually in a class so I can't stand around.
      We have each other's numbers, but I had deleted hers and asked her to delete mine last here, since she was only using it for Math or otherwise school-related questions, and we haven't texted ever since. I asked another friend of mine to give hers to me 1 week ago.
      I'm thinking about inviting her to a coffee next week, but I'd have to do it via call or text, since we very very rarely see each other. On the other hand not sure how exactly to do it, since we haven't really talked for over 7 months. I'm thinking that a better idea would be to contact other 2 girl-friends from the same HS class I have in that town and explain them this story and then texting the 1st girl "I'm hanging out with X and Y, wanna come along?" instead of going right away for a 1-on-1 date. Or have the other 2 girls set the whole thing for me so she doesn't even need to reply to my text.

      And yea there's a chance I'm over-reading this, but the last girl that did the hand-dragging thing later admitted to have a 5 year crush on me. And even if she's not interested, she's worth a shot, I can live with a no.
      Any thoughts on this guys? Thanks in advance :)
  • 17 replies
    • Rihard4a
      Rihard4a
      Gold
      Joined: 08.09.2010 Posts: 2,040
      IMO don't waste time on forum asking for stupid questions and go for the girl if you really like her. Sometimes if you wait too long you might miss a great opportunity that BOTH of you might regret later in life.

      just my 2 cents.
    • UPAY4DINNER
      UPAY4DINNER
      Silver
      Joined: 27.09.2009 Posts: 21,944
      Go for it!

      </thread>
    • NutzAreOk
      NutzAreOk
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.01.2011 Posts: 7,409
      This is very simple. :) Find her somewhere and give your number and same time just ask her out and just with you. Girls are not rocket science. Go for it man! :sfishy:
    • Tinsley15
      Tinsley15
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.07.2013 Posts: 232
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      We just let our hands drag along each other's hand and body until we broke apart
      She obv can't fold full house in that spot! glglgl! :f_cool:
    • VorpalF2F
      VorpalF2F
      Super Moderator
      Super Moderator
      Joined: 02.09.2010 Posts: 8,974
      Originally posted by Tinsley15
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      We just let our hands drag along each other's hand and body until we broke apart
      She obv can't fold full house in that spot! glglgl! :f_cool:
      Hi, ilostmysoul...
      Nor shouid you.

      In spots like this it pays to be aggressive but not overly aggressive.
      If you use too large a bet size, she'll fold -- the idea is to use small bets that make her want to come along.
      By all means let her raise, and if she does, call.

      Don't be in a big hurry to be all-in on the river.

      In this game, there are many more streets to play.

      Best wishes for a peaceful, prosperous 2015,
      VS
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Thank you all for your answers and incentives :)
      However I should make clear that the reason I'm asking this question is that I can't count on seeing her. My college has around 4 different buildings separated by a huge distance, and she is in a course that makes her switch between 2 of them actively, while I'm staying only in one of those. Every one of those buildings is then divided in 4-5 different sections. Besides she never has one single class next to me. I also don't have access to her schedule and the schedule itself changes slightly every week. I'm also moving into another building if I manage to change courses, and then we won't even be having classes in the same general place.

      Being the good poker players that you are, I hope you realize that if I sit tight and wait for a chance to see her or to pass by her again, I'm relying 100% on luck, which kinda sucks in both "businesses". I was hoping somebody would give me a way for me to have the slightest control over this situation (like using the other 2 girls to set something up between all of us).
      Thanks once again and good luck in the tables :)
    • gadget51
      gadget51
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 5,622
      Could meet in the library after classes, or cafe between classes, it's how I used to do it and I did it quite a lot. Instead of passing by and high five-ing, pass by and pass a note instead! :f_thumbsup:
      Don't you have a day where there are no classes, like we had sports days? You could get someone to arrange a meeting doing some sporty thing or even just watching.
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Originally posted by gadget51
      Could meet in the library after classes, or cafe between classes, it's how I used to do it and I did it quite a lot. Instead of passing by and high five-ing, pass by and pass a note instead! :f_thumbsup:
      Don't you have a day where there are no classes, like we had sports days? You could get someone to arrange a meeting doing some sporty thing or even just watching.
      Hey!
      In order for me to meet at the library or get cafe with her I would still have to text her out of the blue :p the note thing is an idea that really attracted me, but it would still require me to actually pass by her again, which only happened 3 times in 4 months. It's quite rare really.

      And we also don't have an universal "no-class" day. I don't have classes Thursday, but that's not the same for every course. Even in my own course there are people who have classes Thursday, but don't have classes Tuesday, like I do. There's no way for me to know when she does or does not have classes unless I ask her.
      Sport days aren't a thing also. There is no college sport team that the whole college can get together and watch. Sometimes the course's students arrange football meet-ups as a chance for everyone from that course getting together. But these games are arranged via text message and we are asked not to spread it beyond course's students in order to make it a more personal, family-like experience, so I don't know when her course has these events.

      My best bet is to set up a meeting, just not sure whether I should do it directly or through friends. Otherwise I'm stuck.
      Thanks for answering and good luck in the tables :)
    • VorpalF2F
      VorpalF2F
      Super Moderator
      Super Moderator
      Joined: 02.09.2010 Posts: 8,974
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      My best bet is to set up a meeting, just not sure whether I should do it directly or through friends. Otherwise I'm stuck.
      Thanks for answering and good luck in the tables :)
      Hi, ilostmysoul,
      If I may make a couple of observations it sounds like:
      :diamond:   You like this girl
      :diamond:   She is at least open to the idea of further contact with you.
      :diamond:   You are fairly nervous

      With that in mind, I would suggest that you make the contact directly. Going through friends means they would have to be extremely trustworthy. Nothing could be worse than having her find out by rumour that you are interested.
      If you don't have her # then texting won't work.
      Have you tried facebook or twitter or whatever else you might have available?
      Arrange to walk past the same place(s) you met here before -- she will likely pass that way again.

      Best of luck,
      VS
    • luitzen
      luitzen
      Bronze
      Joined: 03.04.2009 Posts: 664
      Just ask her out or add her on FB and ask her out.

      I used to be quite shy around women until I met this really hot girl. I added her on FB and asked her out, now we're in a relationship for almost a year. Never thought it would be so easy.

      She obviously likes you, so don't waste time, that's the biggest mistake you can make.
    • Demetrius24
      Demetrius24
      Bronze
      Joined: 29.11.2014 Posts: 60
      "give her a hi5, but after it none of us took the hand back"
      I will tell you only one thing and you can listen or dont its your choice!If u have strong feelings toward that girl and you want to be with her then for ONE DAY let evrything go and just go to her.Say what you have to say.!Dont text,dont tweet.Go directly to her and just tell her how you feel.
      I too had a hi5 moment with my girlfriend and back then we had just met for the first time.Okay now i live in another country and speak another language but hey :D Thats love...i mean in a poker words"She raised my blind and i just moved in on her".
      Im trying to say that we wont live forever...no matter what we do with our lives result is the same...If you like that girl and if u have strong feelings for her...Give yourself a chance and be brave.
      I apologize for my english.When i wake up today im going to do some loundry and cook a nice launch!After that il make some cakes!!:fouet: :welcome: :gl:
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Thanks everyone for keep answering and updating this thread and I do apologize if I'm becoming annoying/repetitive :)

      Originally posted by VorpalF2F
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      My best bet is to set up a meeting, just not sure whether I should do it directly or through friends. Otherwise I'm stuck.
      Thanks for answering and good luck in the tables :)
      Hi, ilostmysoul,
      If I may make a couple of observations it sounds like:
      :diamond:   You like this girl
      :diamond:   She is at least open to the idea of further contact with you.
      :diamond:   You are fairly nervous

      With that in mind, I would suggest that you make the contact directly. Going through friends means they would have to be extremely trustworthy. Nothing could be worse than having her find out by rumour that you are interested.
      If you don't have her # then texting won't work.
      Have you tried facebook or twitter or whatever else you might have available?
      Arrange to walk past the same place(s) you met here before -- she will likely pass that way again.

      Best of luck,
      http://www.pokerstrategy.com/images/ranks/mini/moderator.pngVS
      Uhh nice input!!
      I do have her number, and I'm 80% sure she still has mine. I deleted it last year but got it back (indirectly tho, through a mutual friend). I also did tell her to delete my number but she had no reason to do that, since I never bothered her through texting at all. Matter of fact the few messages I sent her were only answers to hers, and it only happened twice. She never showed any sings of interest last year, but they're appearing out of everywhere right now.
      I'm kinda nervous when I think about the logic behind a relationship with a girl. When I'm face-to-face with her or she personally rejects me, I'm 100% confident. It might hurt for a while but after a good night's sleep I'm over it. Trust me, if I knew I could find her and where, I wouldn't mind talking directly to her and asking her out. However wandering the streets randomly or standing still in one place waiting for someone who may never pass by isn't really my thing :/

      I'm also strongly against any type of social network and I have my justifications but that's off-topic. Not engaging in any of them tho :f_tongue: I think all this also applies to luitzen and Demetrius24's answers too.

      Once again thank you for your attention and taking an interest in me, and good luck in the tables :f_thumbsup: :f_drink:
      Oh, and also, I hope that lunch tastes amazing, Demetrius! Bon apetite!!
    • Demetrius24
      Demetrius24
      Bronze
      Joined: 29.11.2014 Posts: 60
      Heh yeah will see :D Im sorry i just wanted to give you support and to brave u up a little.Well then try to txt and ask her out.Only way to find out whats up i guess.
      I tryed to be funny with my comment just to cheer you up :D
      Stay :f_cool: and :f_drink: one with me.
      Yeah social networks and relationships....no need to say anything.
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      What are you apologizing for? :f_biggrin: Thanks for your support and humor I really appreciate it :f_thumbsup: .
      Yea I'll probably text her when I'm back to town next week and ask her out for a quick coffee. Still quite unsure about how that will turn out, after all we haven't talked in a long while so I'm not sure how she will react to a text invitation. Most likely she'll reject.

      And I'm not very good at texting at all; I can ruin the whole thing when trying to text a girl I see consistently, let alone someone I haven't talked to in months. A best bet would be to wait until I see her again, but then again this is extremely unlikely too. Gee tough position :/

      UPDATE: I have actually figured an opening. I now know 1 class she has and I can figure out the time she leaves the class. And because she lives a bit down on my street, she has to pass by my house after classes. There's a slight chance she gets off at lunch time and goes to eat out somewhere and then I'm still stuck. Otherwise I could very innocently cross paths with her and talk to her. If it didn't work out then I'd cut the chase. Yeay. Took a bit of thinking and memories I had forgotten but it's worth a shot. Just hopping she doesn't get out at lunch time.
    • Demetrius24
      Demetrius24
      Bronze
      Joined: 29.11.2014 Posts: 60
      I dont know what to say.I mean try to send a text and explain that u would like to invite her to a cup of coffe and that you want to talk to her.If u get rejected at least you know where u at.I mean how long are u going to wait.Try and see.
      U dont have to listen to me im just saying it would be better for you right?Dont be affraid of rejection...its worse if u dont know at all.
      At least thats the way i feel about it.
      :f_drink:
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Thanks again :
      Originally posted by Demetrius24
      I dont know what to say.I mean try to send a text and explain that u would like to invite her to a cup of coffe and that you want to talk to her.If u get rejected at least you know where u at.I mean how long are u going to wait.Try and see.
      U dont have to listen to me im just saying it would be better for you right?Dont be affraid of rejection...its worse if u dont know at all.
      At least thats the way i feel about it.
      :f_drink:
      Just updated my last post, I think I can have a chance to personally meet her. One way or another this has to end Tuesday, tops. At least for me to get rejected and get her out of my head. Even if that means I have to stay on my building's stairs all day long until she passes by. How romantic (and at the same time +/- creepy) would that be? If I still haven't seen her by Wendsday, then yea I'm risking it all and send her a text. But I think my problem is pretty much solved.
      Once again, thank you all that participated :D
    • NutzAreOk
      NutzAreOk
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.01.2011 Posts: 7,409
      Originally posted by Demetrius24
      "give her a hi5, but after it none of us took the hand back"
      I will tell you only one thing and you can listen or dont its your choice!If u have strong feelings toward that girl and you want to be with her then for ONE DAY let evrything go and just go to her.Say what you have to say.!Dont text,dont tweet.Go directly to her and just tell her how you feel.
      I too had a hi5 moment with my girlfriend and back then we had just met for the first time.Okay now i live in another country and speak another language but hey :D Thats love...i mean in a poker words"She raised my blind and i just moved in on her".
      Im trying to say that we wont live forever...no matter what we do with our lives result is the same...If you like that girl and if u have strong feelings for her...Give yourself a chance and be brave.
      I apologize for my english.When i wake up today im going to do some loundry and cook a nice launch!After that il make some cakes!!:fouet: :welcome: :gl:
      This! :f_thumbsup: