Just started taking driving lessons :/

    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Hey everyone :)
      So, little background, I turn 19 on the 27th and I started having driving lessons since Monday, with the same person that taught me driving theory. He was a cool, calm, awesome teacher (although he would sometimes get mad whenever there was a student who was making learning difficult for the rest of us) when in class, and I passed the exam without getting 1 wrong, but I'm freaking HATING him on driving classes.

      My parents have never let me touch a car before, so I'm still a little bit nervous when asked to drive in public roads, and I suck at some stuff like going around sidewalks in reverse, parking the car, making difficult turns, etc. Sometimes I even have trouble stopping the car because I still confuse the pedals. I understand why sometimes he gets mad when I can't do one of these things after trying some times, but then he starts saying stuff like "You know, after 27 years of teaching you are the first freaking person that doesn't get this right at the 1st try", "Oh c'mon what the **** are you doing, we've been through this a hundred times by now", etc. Eventually he starts not giving a damn whenever I do something wrong "Do you get what you did wrong? No? Then screw it just drive". Then I start not giving a damn also and the rest of the class is useless, because all this type of talking only adds to the nervousness.

      There's only so much I can take without getting mad and angry. It's one thing for him to get frustrated whenever I don't understand something (and even that is open for debate, because I'd suppose a good teacher would just keep his cool, since I was never aggressive against him either), it's another complete thing to downright insult me. Today, mid-lesson, I had to park the car for a while to calm myself down, and I got pretty damn close to just leave him there and go home.
      The general driving school policy around here is that we can have up to 30 driving classes, and if we want anymore beyond those, we need to pay extra (we sign a sheet after each lesson to keep count). So if I end the 30th lesson without knowing anything, I'll have to pay an absurd amount only to get 5 (5!!!) extra classes...
      Do you think it's on him to keep calm or at least non-insulting, or is it on me to be patient and non-reactive? I feel that there should be a line between what I do admit and don't admit from a teacher, and I'm kind of on my right to react whenever someone passes that line, otherwise I'm not standing up for myself...
      Thoughts? Thanks :f_drink:
  • 19 replies
    • NutzAreOk
      NutzAreOk
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.01.2011 Posts: 7,409
      Well before you loose your calm, you should go to him and say that you want a calm discussion about those lessons and say to him that you are not learning anything that way. Ask him to be more calm and not yelling without no reason. Try to get him understand that it frustrate you if he acts like that.

      Best of luck with your drinving lessons. :f_thumbsup:
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 1,971
      Back when I was at driving school, I had two different instructors, and while one was a bit more calm and relaxed than the other, I remember that both of them also got mad at me quite often. Then again, I never was a very good driver.

      I could imagine that this is just how most driving instructors act, which would actually be understandable to me, since they have a quite big responsibility and road safety is a very serious matter. When you're driving on your own, any small mistake can have grave consequences if you're unlucky, so it makes sense that your instructor is extremely strict about driving error-free.

      As someone who once was in a similar situation, I can at least tell you that most of your little missteps are most likely just due to nervousness, and not lack of skill. You'll probably feel a lot more confident once you got your license and drive on your own.

      In the end, I'm afraid the only advice I can give you is to hang in there. Try to relax and don't see your driving lessons as a challenge. At the end of the day, driving a car is nothing but another means of transportation.
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Thank you both :)
      Well the thing is it's kinda hard to even learn when the person who's supposed to teach you doesn't even care anymore because you keep getting the same thing wrong. Then he goes on and on about how you haven't improved anything after 3 classes and how he's sick of teaching you the same thing and you're just wasting money and stuff.

      I know people who had him as a teacher too and they were able to enjoy the classes and mess back with him and stuff (given, they already knew how to drive beforehand) but I'm unable to do that. He just keeps swearing and complaining constantly and I'm just there looking at him, without saying a word and trying to calm myself down. Given I'm actually paying for these classes and I am on my right to change teachers, schools, and complain about him (although that seems a bit over the top), and given we are both adults, I think he should be a little more considerate, because I don't look forward to our next class at all.
      i was just trying to collect opinions on whether I was over-reacting or something :f_grin:
    • mysteryman21
      mysteryman21
      Platinum
      Joined: 18.09.2010 Posts: 3,011
      gl!! I had same problems, I was angry/mad after every lesson and wanted to beat my teacher. But after some time, I started to dont care and give sh** about everything what he says. You can try and change you teacher, it will help also
    • NutzAreOk
      NutzAreOk
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.01.2011 Posts: 7,409
      Do you have driving schools there or how does it work? Is it perhaps possible you to change your teacher or driving school?

      I was lucky to have very good teacher on that driving school I went. I heard some stories that he pissed off to some girl who could not pass her final test (she was really poor driver) but otherwise he was pretty laid-back and he got sense of humour that he sometimes used while driving lessons and theory lessons. We also talked with him other stuff too while driving lessons.

      This actually made me think if driving teachers are tend to get upset if the student learns slowly but they are more nice and easy going if student seem to be good driver from the beginning.
    • KKNgroup
      KKNgroup
      Silver
      Joined: 23.02.2011 Posts: 196
      There should be option to change driving instructor. I do not think that You must tolerate his behaviour. It is not productive for You and for him also.
      Since I passed driving exam, I still had a problems parking car for few years.
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      The general trend seems to be that driving teachers prefer someone who already has the basics under control, so that they don't have to explain every detail. They also seem to dislike people who are already so comfortable driving that there's not much they can teach them besides correcting posture (like driving with one arm out the window, only one arm on the wheel, laid back, etc).

      And yea changing teachers and/or schools is on the law, and the school where I'm at is forced to give me the money back regarding the remaining lessons if I go to a different school.

      And if I stop caring about what he says, I'll still not learn anything, because I'm still down at the basics (I can drive as long as we are just going from point A to point B without having to do anything else in between, but even stopping the car using the clutch is sometimes still a problem :tongue: ). I am considering going to the class as normal today, then whenever he gets on my nerves I'll stop the car and have an actual conversation about how I feel about his method. If he doesn't change or listen then I'll go home and ask for another teacher next week :f_rolleyes:
      Thanks everyone for answering!!
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 1,971
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      I am considering going to the class as normal today, then whenever he gets on my nerves I'll stop the car and have an actual conversation about how I feel about his method.
      I think it would be better to have this discussion at a point when both of you are somewhat calm and able to address this issue rationally, and not right there in the heat of the moment.

      And please don't stop the car without your instructor's permission. At least wait until you have a proper break.
    • dajunior
      dajunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2012 Posts: 298
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      Sometimes I even have trouble stopping the car because I still confuse the pedals.
      Omg man, are you serious?
      Now I'm really frightened to go outside :f_eek:

      To be serious your left foot has to push only the left pedal, clutch. The middle and the right pedals are for your right foot. They are gas and break. So if you are going to break then just move your right foot on the middle pedal, that's all man. want to break? move your right foot on the middle pedal. right foot on the middle pedal, so easy) don't know what to do, push the middle pedal! :f_biggrin:
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Ahahahah I loled xD
      No but seriously, that's one part where I've got some issues. If I try to brake using only the brake, the car shuts down immediately. I need to press on the clutch first, then on the brake.

      And I still don't know what to do when I'm on a high gear and I don't need to stop the car, but I still need to lose some speed. I usually mess up in some way in those situations and the car shuts down again :f_p:
    • dajunior
      dajunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2012 Posts: 298
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      Ahahahah I loled xD
      No but seriously, that's one part where I've got some issues. If I try to brake using only the brake, the car shuts down immediately. I need to press on the clutch first, then on the brake.

      And I still don't know what to do when I'm on a high gear and I don't need to stop the car, but I still need to lose some speed. I usually mess up in some way in those situations and the car shuts down again :f_p:
      well, actually you should press clutch only when your motor rpm is close to idle rpm(usually something like 800 per minute). You can push the clutch all the time you're going to break, but it isn't a good idea to push your clatch when you're breaking driving down from a hill...

      when you're on a too high gear you have to change it to a lower gear. Some people just do it the same way like they change it to a higher gear but they release clutch slower. But the right way to do that is double clutch with gas. Sounds crazy) but looks more crazy



      by the way, why don't you study on a car with an automatic transmission? it's much easier.
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      The school doesn't have one. And I'd rather not anyways because I'll have to switch to a manual after I get the license :f_p:
      Thanks for the tips :)
    • dajunior
      dajunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2012 Posts: 298
      Originally posted by ilostmysoul
      The school doesn't have one. And I'd rather not anyways because I'll have to switch to a manual after I get the license :f_p:
      Thanks for the tips :)
      it can help you to understand the process



      you're welcome :f_thumbsup:
    • NutzAreOk
      NutzAreOk
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.01.2011 Posts: 7,409
      Originally posted by dajunior
      well, actually you should press clutch only when your motor rpm is close to idle rpm(usually something like 800 per minute). You can push the clutch all the time you're going to break, but it isn't a good idea to push your clatch when you're breaking driving down from a hill...
      It`s definitely more economic to just do engine breaking but I would not recommend to do it every time and I would not let the rpm go down 800. I don`t think engine will even be on that long if you do engine breaking with higher gear. But if you driving like middle of bad traffic, you really can`t use much engine breaking. You have to notice the situations when to use it. If you have just couple seconds to do it, just press the clutch and break.

      And that double clutch thing, just forget it at least for now. I think there is just too much to think about for ilostmysoul. And personally, I don`t know anyone who does that and they certainly don`t teach that at driving school. It`s more for racing kind of thing anyway and I really don`t see the point doing it when you are normally driving.
    • dajunior
      dajunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2012 Posts: 298
      Originally posted by NutzAreOk
      Originally posted by dajunior
      well, actually you should press clutch only when your motor rpm is close to idle rpm(usually something like 800 per minute). You can push the clutch all the time you're going to break, but it isn't a good idea to push your clatch when you're breaking driving down from a hill...
      It`s definitely more economic to just do engine breaking but I would not recommend to do it every time and I would not let the rpm go down 800. I don`t think engine will even be on that long if you do engine breaking with higher gear. But if you driving like middle of bad traffic, you really can`t use much engine breaking. You have to notice the situations when to use it. If you have just couple seconds to do it, just press the clutch and break.

      And that double clutch thing, just forget it at least for now. I think there is just too much to think about for ilostmysoul. And personally, I don`t know anyone who does that and they certainly don`t teach that at driving school. It`s more for racing kind of thing anyway and I really don`t see the point doing it when you are normally driving.
      Actually it isn't only about economic, it's the only safe way to drive down from a hill for example. You should not push the clutch untill your motor rpm are lower than 1200-1500, it has no sense, because when you break with no pushed clutch, the engine helps you to break. you push the break + engine breaks a bit too.

      About double clutch, hm, now you know me)) actually it's the only right way to downshift :f_thumbsup:

      But I absolutely agree that it isn't a good way to study it until you drive shurely. I'd even recommend to get your driving license on a car with an automatic gearbox, because those tips I gave are not for beginners.
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 1,971
      Originally posted by dajunior
      I'd even recommend to get your driving license on a car with an automatic gearbox, because those tips I gave are not for beginners.
      Unless we're talking about America here, I don't think anyone should get their license without being able to safely handle a car with a manual gearbox. It may take some time for a beginner to get the hang of it, but it's no rocket science.

      Any updates, ilostmysoul?
    • dajunior
      dajunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2012 Posts: 298
      Originally posted by Harrier88
      Originally posted by dajunior
      I'd even recommend to get your driving license on a car with an automatic gearbox, because those tips I gave are not for beginners.
      Unless we're talking about America here, I don't think anyone should get their license without being able to safely handle a car with a manual gearbox. It may take some time for a beginner to get the hang of it, but it's no rocket science.

      Any updates, ilostmysoul?
      Yep, it's no rocket science, hahaha)) but a manual transmission can make a lot of problems for learners, because they study not only changing gears, so it's just an additional trouble for them. But of course a lot of people study driving on cars with a manual transmission, the same was with me. But now, after 8 years I remember my driving style and I'm so sad understanding that I killed my transmission with my actions)) anyway the TS made his choice and I just say good luck for him :f_thumbsup:
    • ilostmysoul
      ilostmysoul
      Bronze
      Joined: 28.12.2014 Posts: 78
      Yeay I have new answers :f_cool:

      Just read them, they were very useful. I'm actually on the 5th class right now, things are pretty good. I mean I still don't like him that much and he still says I'm behind expectations (on the 5th class I should be more comfortable than I am), but the gear thingy is under control now. Stopping, downshifting, changing gears quickly, etc. is okay (not perfect because some times I still make stupid mistakes, but okay).

      Anyways thank you all for your answers, very informative :f_drink:
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 1,971
      I wasn't aware that you had such a small amount of driving lessons so far. In that case, I'd say you're doing completely fine. Shifting gears, braking, etc. will soon become second nature once you have a decent amount of experience; there are plenty of people who had trouble with this in the beginning, some just catch on a bit faster than others.

      There's no need to worry about your instructor either, some guys are just a bit stricter than other people. Besides, he basically just wanted you to stop making beginner's mistakes, and it seems like you did just that.

      Don't take things personally, keep learning, and it will only be a matter of time until you have that license.