In all honesty

    • tripstim79
      tripstim79
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 35
      Guys I have to ask, are we all really as happy as we make out to be on these forums, or are there others (like me) who have the key ingredients for a poker player, but the almighty TILT ruins it for you.

      I won't go into the scary details, suffice to say that if I dont finish well in the ECOOP M/E this weekend, I am facing a serious problem with debt.

      I know it's all good and well to discuss strategies and theories which I do occasionally involve myself in, but I find it hard to believe that a community of this size that I am the only one that has suffered and suffered BIG due to psychological issues which trigger my tilt.

      Soy, It may not be a pretty sub-forum to start but I honestly think we need to go one step further than "Ups, Downs & Psychology" and add one relating to the more serious side of behaviour and psych issues.

      I hope this post isn't removed due to "depressing" factor and truly hope that we can get some responses.

      We are not alone, or so I would like to believe.


      Trips.
      Poker winnings since April £8,567
      Credit Card debts £At least twice the above amount.
  • 29 replies
    • elhh82
      elhh82
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      Joined: 03.09.2008 Posts: 6,838
      did you generate the debts from losing at poker or from other spending?
    • Drakhor
      Drakhor
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      Joined: 13.01.2008 Posts: 554
      Never ever give your wife/girlfriend your credit card. :tongue:
    • excelgeo
      excelgeo
      Bronze
      Joined: 17.10.2008 Posts: 1,107
      i was wondering the same thing

      the reason you dont see people whine a lot is because the donkeys lose their $50 and dont bother again. and the real failures wont go bragging on forums, or else they might pick up a few useful pieces of advice.

      of course people are losing money on poker otherwise it would not be profitable for some


      i am facing a bit of a downswing lately but i changed limits, went back to sss to let go of some steam and even if i tilt it doesnt cost me much, until of course i get back on the horse
    • Duane317
      Duane317
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      Joined: 30.12.2007 Posts: 76
      The best of luck to you...
      :)
    • Berzerger
      Berzerger
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      Joined: 24.03.2008 Posts: 910
      I first thought I'd never actually have to deposit any of my own money to play poker, but after some 8 months I lost my $300 bankroll in one day due to tilt and unwillingness to face what was self-humiliation in my own eyes by stepping down a limit, so after quite some freerolls I thought "this has to stop. Either I play with real money or quit poker altogether". So I borrowed my friend's credit card to make a deposit, assuming I'll manage to win back the money I borrowed and more. But greed got to me and I lost even that, so I had to borrow again, working myself deeper into debt. I've won it all back now, but back then it was pure addiction. I'd say, if tilt really ruins it that bad for you, is it even a good idea to keep on playing? Unless you make a living with it, of course, but if you're as deep in debt as you say you are, then you really aren't making a living playing poker.

      After all I have to admit, tilt made me lose everything, twice. And I swore to myself there won't be a second time, though it still gets to me every now and then. You're definitely not alone in that aspect, I just hope the knowledge that you are the only one who can control your cards brings you some sort of solace. Considering you managed to win a great amount of money with your skills, you surely can turn it into something more.
    • justkyle88
      justkyle88
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      Joined: 07.05.2008 Posts: 7,598
      Why do have a debt of that amount?
      Are you using BRM?
      You shouldn't be buying into big tournaments if your in debt even if you think you have the right play to be a winning player.
      Sounds like you were playing at a limit and couldn't face the fact that u had to step down a limit to control your Bankroll from spiraling into negative figures.
    • onezb
      onezb
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      Joined: 30.12.2006 Posts: 1,531
      When you say you have 8k poker winnings, that means you won more than you lost. So where exactly is your problem?
    • alejandrosh
      alejandrosh
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      Joined: 02.07.2008 Posts: 4,346
      all i can say is good luck at the M/E , and don't put your whole bankroll at risk again after you win.
    • finchybg
      finchybg
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      Joined: 16.12.2007 Posts: 910
      My opinion here may sound a bit over the top but no matter how good BRM do you follow, if you are prone to destructive tilt conditions - quit poker.
      No point to work on your game or to waste your time, that's just psychological setback that it is either impossible or too costly to overcome.
    • davidangel
      davidangel
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      Joined: 03.09.2008 Posts: 456
      It does not sound like poker is making you tilt. It seems like you are already on tilt before you even sit down, and poker only makes it worse. How can you play good poker when your mind is stuck on your debt? You will play the ECOOP tourney, and everyhand you will be afraid of losing, or you will overplay your hands in desperation to win. If you manage to get a sniff of the bubble you will fold rather than push and end up blinded out. Even if you do pop the bubble how can you play for the final table on scared money? You have serious issues in your head that can only be worked through with inner self honesty, no bullshit, no blaming externals and no self-pity and lamenting.
      Here are my recomendations:
      1) Tell your debts to fuck-off, they get paid when you get paid
      2) Read the ENTIRE PS.com strategy section and pay close attention to the tilt articles
      3) Get some self help books and find out what is really wrong with you
      4) Hold your head high and don't give up. Winners think like winners so get your head out of your ass.
    • Skinner3555
      Skinner3555
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      Joined: 10.06.2008 Posts: 5
      I had/have the same problem...I lost the 50$ ps bonus and then like 150$ of my own money because I couldnt control my self...Its not your 8k offcourse, but its my own, not a free bonus money :)

      I couldnt stand the fact that I lost and kept depositing each time I loss everything thinking something like "I will win this time"... Usualy my bankroll was stabily growing, but then comes the TILT (due to frustration of lossing a series of good hands or simply boredom) and I cant control my self, I start playing bad hands, I go into higher limits then the bankroll rules allow, start going "heads up", hoping to win back what I lost, but every time it resulted bankroll in reaching 0...

      Lately I learned to control my self better and won back what I have lost and made a profit. Just learn to say NO! If you got a tilt just close the software - and another suggestion - regulary withdraw funds from poker room, so that if tilt gets you afterall you wount loss all your money at once.

      So no you are not alone, and imo there is a lot of such people, but most of them dont post about it due to its being hard for them to admit it in public.
    • tripstim79
      tripstim79
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 35
      Originally posted by onezb
      When you say you have 8k poker winnings, that means you won more than you lost. So where exactly is your problem?
      Poker winnings since April £8,567
      Credit Card debts £At least twice the above amount.

      Meaning I've won about 9k but my CC debts are around 18k.
    • cannell555
      cannell555
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.03.2008 Posts: 2,410
      Originally posted by tripstim79
      Originally posted by onezb
      When you say you have 8k poker winnings, that means you won more than you lost. So where exactly is your problem?
      Poker winnings since April £8,567
      Credit Card debts £At least twice the above amount.

      Meaning I've won about 9k but my CC debts are around 18k.
      So you have actually lost $8.5k? If you are -$8.5k, you dont have any winnings. I dont get it.
    • tripstim79
      tripstim79
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 35
      Guys I appreciate your feedback on this (positive and otherwise)
      The truth is I feel a bit better for getting this out into the community, I have no shame in admitting the control issue.
      BRM Wise I stuck to it like glue until the tilt and the "how dare he kills my bullets preflop with 33"

      I'm not out of the woods yet, but I have chatted with gamcare and arranged regular online counselling meetings to discuss the inner being that unleashes itself when i do go on tilt.
      It's crazy because when the tilt comes, I disappear, I bet and bluff on ridiculous cards and i KNOW that im going to get called.

      After a chat with the counseller, it turns out that as one of the previous responders mentioned that the tilt isn't caused by poker, it is to do with external influences in my life.
      I used to be laid back easy going, but as time has worn on I have kinda lost my identity, not really knowing who I am anymore, and the frustration linked with this is triggering the tilt in poker, and life in general really.

      So I will play the M/E, I have not "lost" my credit card debts, merely spent money unwisely.

      And I will not play scared money, the truth is when I won the PKR grand prix I was in a worse frame of mind than I am now.

      Again I appreciate all the feedback and hope that my openness will let others know that it's ok to talk about this kind of thing as well as successes.

      The planets got to stay in balance somehow ;)

      Trips.
    • Dippy19
      Dippy19
      Bronze
      Joined: 04.12.2007 Posts: 1,347
      There's a nice rule in poker and in life that I like to stick to:

      DON'T SPEND MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE


      If everyone would stick to it there would be a lot less sorrow and a lot less "I lost my house, my wife(not necessarily a bad thing :P ) and my kinds to gambeling" stories on TV :/
    • lennert9
      lennert9
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.10.2008 Posts: 278
      CC debts cost a lot in interest, so if I could give you some advice: withdraw your entire BR and use it to already pay off a part of the debt, and don't play poker untill you are out of debt.

      Once you're debt free set yourself a maximum amount of money you want to spend on poker a month (say 50$)

      deposit the 50$ and start playing with it, if you can stay out of tilt, you can play all month and if you play well, eventually you'll get back to your current br (without the bedt)

      If you do lose the 50$ due to tilt, wait untill the month is over and redeposit,

      But realise this: tilt is in general caused by anger or helplessness, so if you are already feeling angry or helpless about something in your life before you put you're PC on, don't go to the tables, it's like burning cash.

      Poker isn't about emotions it's about staying icecold under any circumstances and making rational decisions based upon available information.

      playing poker based upon emotions is gambling and as such -EV
    • cannell555
      cannell555
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      Joined: 06.03.2008 Posts: 2,410
      I'm still alittle in the dark here. You have a big debt, not because you lost it, but because you have spent it? But the 1st post states that you are suffering from tilt, therefore are in debt. Now you are having counseling for this "tilt" online.

      So have you lost the money gambling? or have you spent it?

      I am confused by the whole thread tbh.
    • SalamiandCheese
      SalamiandCheese
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      Joined: 16.07.2008 Posts: 569
      Well the biggest problem here is that he's risking money that he can't afford to risk. That can be very stressful, especially when you're a good player who can make money. But the thing is it's not enough money to climb out of the hole. Playing out of your bankroll is clearly out of the question; you would basically be gambling with thousands in that case. Making a serious cut to your bankroll and playing at a lower limit where you can play with fun in mind and not the need to make money in mind, and maybe build up another roll while you're at it, is probably the best option here.

      Since we're getting things out in the open... I decided to visit the roulette wheel on Mansion. Well, I played way too much, went from $900 in my account to $2100, down to $400 and back again to $900, then finally to $600 (I had won $200 in roulette earnings a few months before and stopped at that). Well in the end I withdrew my roll from there and managed to hold on to $50 in roulette winnings, and experienced a downswing of $100 on NL20 during this time. Basically greed got to me. It was so easy and I wanted more dammit! But of course in the end variance will get you in casino games, they're -EV :D I'm staying away from sites with a side casino until I'm sure that demon is exorcised.
    • tripstim79
      tripstim79
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.06.2008 Posts: 35
      Originally posted by cannell555
      I'm still alittle in the dark here. You have a big debt, not because you lost it, but because you have spent it? But the 1st post states that you are suffering from tilt, therefore are in debt. Now you are having counseling for this "tilt" online.

      So have you lost the money gambling? or have you spent it?

      I am confused by the whole thread tbh.
      It is a different way to look at it.
      If I look at the money as debt, it brings all sorts of negative emotions along with it.
      If you change the angle and look at it as spent money, then things are put into a different light.

      I need to detach myself from the debt (obviously pay it off), but look at it as money i have spent, not money I have lost.

      It's all down to perspective and state of mind.

      That make sense?

      Trips.
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