Last Try, Last Gain !? MTT+CASH

    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      5 years in poker, hundred days of struggle, and at least 10 times when i said "fuck it" to becoming a proffesional poker player but somehow every time i'm trying to get away from poker, some "force" always pulls me back and this time i got staked by MTT players. So it seems im going to play poker for another month or 2 and see if i still can beat the game...

      Anyway, Poker is a friend and foe and there's nothing i can do to change it, there are some goods days and there are a lot of bad days but still poker is part of me and even if im going to stop playing poker all together, i know that sooner or later i will come back to it(huh, maybe im addicted) and going to play some sng, cash or whatever and will become a degen once again....

      /whining

      Past, Present, Future


      Past:

      Been playing poker for 5 years or even longer, had some ups and downs, won some k$ and overall i was happy man till one day i just started to lose interest in poker all together, dunno why that happened but i started to hate poker more and more and one day i just stopped playing it for quite some time, and this shit continued for years. Could easily grind poker 24/7 and than one day i just uninstalled all softs and took few months off to "cool down." And after those few months i was back with full "grind mode on" face and started to love poker again, it was like a routine or more like an insanity...dunno...
      I basically was playing everything, cash,sng, mtt's etc. cash one month and sng/mtt the other month.
      Also had an opportunity to live and study in Denmark and Japan and i'm really grateful for that. Also was a little addicted to sports betting, even if i'm break even at it i still want to have a decent bankroll for it and take it seriously for another month or so and see if i'm able to win some money there...

      Present:

      Now i'm being staked by a very close friend and he's being eager to make me a winning player at mtt's, also he's being tought by one of the best player in my country so that helps a lot but unfortunately i still struggle to win a decent money at them, maybe because or luck or skill but i know that everyday i'm improving and my game is getting better and better so in the next 1-2 months i will see if i'll be able to beat the limits and move up to higher stakes but first i want to win 1k$ to prove to staker and myself that i still have some future with poker otherwise i'm going to stop playing poker all together at least for few months...
      Also i finally started to make youtube videos and never felt happier, it took me 7 years to get over my "nobody will watch this shit" thinking and i really enjoy doing it, so going to continue doing it and improve my skill in editing :)
      Also had an awesome experience by streaming poker on twitch, while i was in Japan i had 2 weeks off from school so i decided that i'm going to stream for 2 weeks and see if people will even bother watching me playing and failing in poker and for a suprise i even had 100 viewers watching at one time and even got my first donations, haha, so i'm going to stream poker too but first i need to make a overlay for my channel and need to prepare myself mentally :)

      Future:

      This is more like "what if" scenario, so here it goes:

      If i'm going to beat mtt's than i'm going to continue playing poker till end of this year and if i'll earn 2000$ on average per month than i will start learning PL Omaha and next year going to play pl omaha cash more than mtt's.

      If i'm going to make at least 100 videos this year and will have 10k subs at the end of this year, than i will start to take youtube serious and going to make 250+ videos next year and will reconsider taking youtube as my part time job.

      If i'm going to have 100 viewers on average every time i stream, than i will combine Twitch and Poker all together and will stream at least 200+ days next year.

      If i'm going to be successful in any(poker, youtube, twitch) than i'm going to start investing and making two homepages that i always wanted to make, so i really looking forward to it.

      Anyway that's it for now, i'm going to upload graphs and everything else later today, so yeah i look forward to brag and whine in this blog and hope you will enjoy what you see and hear :)
  • 24 replies
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281


      Meh, was so close to win my first 500 euro tournament, but lost AQvsAJ :( anyway, yesterday wasnt that bad, had 2 final tables and also runned deep in some other big tourneys, like in winamax Coctail with 3.2k$ on top finished 70 and another one(forgot the name)finished 70something, 1st place had 1.5k$ etc.
      But there's nothing much i could do, made few mistakes in SCOOP 5$ on ps.fr and realized that i need to fold AA,KK more on turn or river when it's obvious that op has a strong hand, but overall yesterday was a good, even made a small profit which is good.

      My overall graph:



      Yeap, nothing much to brag about, but my game is getting better and better the more i play and who knows maybe one day i will finally win something big... :)
    • vonki
      vonki
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 18.03.2008 Posts: 6,091
      I keep subbing to MTT blogs, but few of them continue to update. So please do! :f_thumbsup:
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Originally posted by vonki
      I keep subbing to MTT blogs, but few of them continue to update. So please do! :f_thumbsup:
      :challenge:
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      anyway yesterday i only played like 10 tourneys or so and lost 10$ or something, just didnt felt like playing also because of my cold, my head was hurting like hell, so took a day off. Today i'm going to have a small session because later today will have to meet up with a friend but even so i will try to play at least 20 mtt's and some spins and if i'll run shit at tourneys than maybe i will hit some NL5 or NL10 tables at cash.
    • SDK1987
      SDK1987
      Moderator
      Moderator
      Joined: 12.11.2008 Posts: 27,160
      Swingy graphs so far, but don’t worried too much about it. The variance is high in MTT’s.
      Maybe it’s a good idea to drag your screenshot the next time in to your post.
      This way your picture will be automatic uploaded and the pictures aren’t that small like now.

      Further I wish you all the best with crushing the MTT’s :gl:

      Cheers,
      SDK1987
    • RedHeater
      RedHeater
      Bronze
      Joined: 08.10.2010 Posts: 219
      Good luck with this. I'd say its good to stay to one format to start with and not combine MTTS and cash when your confidence is low. I believe this is what you are doing by concentrating on MTTs. Variance is high so you should think about how you will deal with that given your low confidence.

      I see you are being staked by a 'very good friend'. Please make sure you have this arrangement set up in a way that won't harm that good relationship. Very good friends are not so easy to find.
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Originally posted by SDK1987
      Swingy graphs so far, but don’t worried too much about it. The variance is high in MTT’s.
      Maybe it’s a good idea to drag your screenshot the next time in to your post.
      This way your picture will be automatic uploaded and the pictures aren’t that small like now.

      Further I wish you all the best with crushing the MTT’s :gl:

      Cheers,
      SDK1987
      Yeah, the variance is insane in mtt's, at cash at least you can be break even for weeks but in mtt's you can easily be 300-500bi down till you win one tourney that will get everything back but it can takes weeks or months till you'll be able to win that particular tournament :(
      Ah ok thanks, i didn't understand why the pictures sizes were so bad, ok i will try to drag the pictures next time :)

      Thanks for the kind words :)
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Originally posted by RedHeater
      Good luck with this. I'd say its good to stay to one format to start with and not combine MTTS and cash when your confidence is low. I believe this is what you are doing by concentrating on MTTs. Variance is high so you should think about how you will deal with that given your low confidence.

      I see you are being staked by a 'very good friend'. Please make sure you have this arrangement set up in a way that won't harm that good relationship. Very good friends are not so easy to find.
      Yeah it would be the best idea to just stay at one format but the problem is that if you really want to get good at poker than you need to play all the formats so that you could understand how poker really "works" but yeah it takes a lot of time and it can screw up your game and mentality pretty bad :(
      Yeah 2 weeks ago my confidence was completely crushed and i was so close to just stop playing mtt's forever, but thanks for my friends invite i had an opportunity to go to england for 9 days and "cool down" and it helped me a lot but i'm still a little worried that one day i will go "insane" again and will have to take another 1-2 weeks off to calm down but i hope it's not going to happen any time soon :s_frown:

      Yeah we already talk about it before he even started to stake me, and the agreement was acceptable on both sides, even if i proposed to have a "make up" so that if i decide to stop playing for him i will get back all the money that i lost to but as he knew that it's going to put a lot of pressure on me, said that i shouldn't worry about that and just listen what he's telling and concentrate on the game :) yeap he's a good friend, so that's why i'm going to concentrate more on my game than money and hope that in the end he's going to gain more from this than me :)
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      meh, yesterday weird, started session at 2pm and even if i had to meet with my friend i was ready to finish opening tables at 4-5pm but i started to run good in one tournament and even got to FT, but the problem started when i was fighting for hu, my friend arrived so of course i had to meet him and as i still was playing that tourney i couldn't 100% concentrate on it, and i finished 3 even if i know that i could easily beat one of them and at least try to outplay that other guy in hu and win additional 150$+ but in the end i only won ~200$ :( had 9Ao on BT and shoved with 17bb, i know if i would concentrate more than it was an easy open fold play but meh, i'm really disappointed with myself... But anyway, after he left i decided to play another session and this time i was unlucky got crushed by everyone except one tournament in ps.fr 10$ 6max turbo, the whole tournament my stack was always at top 5 but made a stupid mistake in SBvBB, called reg's push with K7s, we both had 20bb, i know that in most cases it should be an easy call cause regs always likes to push very light, especially if they are in sb but not with 20bb... for fucks sake, anyway at least i know that i still need to study SBvBB game, so i finished 10th :(

      Yesterday's graph:

    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Ok, yesterday was one of the best and worst days ever, i've never been so close to so many final tables in one day but the funniest thing was that i finished at least 2-3 positions before FT and i was so close to break my mouse,keyboard and everything else in my sight cause of frustration. If i would have a little luck on my side i could easily win my first 1k$ or so but nope, instead i'm down 70$ :( Also i filtered my pokertracker to see how much i'm up or down in tourneys and it turned out i'm down 800$!!!!! just wow, it seems that web page that im using right now doesnt show all the winnings or losings so i'm going to trust pokertracker more than that web page. Anyway today i'm going to play a long session but tomorrow going to take a day off, still need to make an overlay for my twitch channel and also need to work on my project but i will tell about it more when something will be done, but for now, going to concentrate more on poker and twitch.

      Yesterday:

    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Wow what a sunday !!!! Finished 3rd in Le totem, winamax and got my biggest winning 925 euros !!! Fuck, it felt so nice, it turned out i was down almost 1k euros in the last two months, so i was worried that maybe i will never win and was thinking that maybe is should stop playing mtt's all together but it seems i just need to have more confidence and need to be more patience and sooner or later hard work will pay everything back :)
      But it was a weird day, cause for the first 6 hours i got destroyed by everyone, couldnt win any flips, lost pots when i was ahead a lot but than suddenly i started to run like god :D
      Anyway here's the sunday's graph:



      Monday was kinda meh day. Took a day off, went to cinema to watch 10 cloverfield line movie and was very dissapointed with it, maybe because i didn't saw the first movie but i didn't enjoy it at all and i regret that instead i didnt went to watch zootopia.

      yesterday i played a lot, started at 5pm and finished at 6am in the morning, even if i had few FT, Hot 8 euros tourney in ps.fr was the only one where i finished 3rd and got 500 euros or something. But still had a high chance to win the tourney cause i went all in with A8s vs A5o and he got his 5 on flop and it was a chip lead stack, a little unlucky but this i was happy with the results. Also was deep in hot 4.40 in ps.eu and didnt win flip with 99vsAK, also had another final table in 5 euros Proggresive KO but unfortunately finished 3rd and only got 100 euros or something:



      Anyway, today i'm going to have another big session and than tomorrow i will take a day off to concentrate on my project and also want to make a youtube video with my friend :) And i think that's it for now, so yeah, gl to everyone and see ya later :)
    • Lazza61
      Lazza61
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      Joined: 23.03.2011 Posts: 9,255
      Gratz. :appl: Well done :profit:
    • SDK1987
      SDK1987
      Moderator
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      Joined: 12.11.2008 Posts: 27,160
      Nice performance. Hopefully you get a 4 digits score sooner or later and winning a tournament :f_thumbsup:
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
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      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Originally posted by Lazza61
      Gratz. :appl: Well done :profit:
      Thanks :)
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Originally posted by SDK1987
      Nice performance. Hopefully you get a 4 digits score sooner or later and winning a tournament :f_thumbsup:
      Yeah but i still feel that i just got lucky, cause my game at this moment isnt very good to be honest and i know that i will have to work a lot on my game to feel comfortably at tables. As soon as i get ITM i start to panic and dont know how to fix it, especially if 15 or less people are left than i have zero idea how to play, of course my staker and coach is helping me out and telling that i don't need to do any fancy plays and just concentrate on playing premium hands but still i have this feeling "i don't want to lose" mentality that screws everything up :( but yeah my game is improving by every time i play and i hope that my mentality will also get better, if not than maybe mtt's arent for me :)
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      What a weird day i had yesterday. Played 12/13 hours had 4 FT but still i finished day in minus. But at least i won 5 euros KO and won ~100 euros or something, even sucked out on river when i went all in with AKs vs KK :D anyway 4 FTs and finished 9th or 8th in all of them, except the 5 euros KO. Had an awesome start, for the first 2 hours was running like god, winning all the possible hands and really was hoping that im going to win a lot but than suddenly couldn't win anything for 10 hours, losing all flips, all 70/30 80/20 90/10 95/5 etc. :D also started to tilt for like a hour but managed to cooled down and was able to finish the session with winning that 5 euros tourney. Anyway i still need to work on my mentality and need to stop expecting anything, otherwise it ends in fail... :(

      Anyway, today i'm going to take a day off, need to work on my project and also need to finally finish making a youtube video and hope to post it at the end of this week.

      Yesterday:

    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
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      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Also i want to ask you guys to give me feedback about these videos, any criticism will be appreciated. We had an idea that we could take reviews from steam and present those reviews in funny way, with accents and so on, but somehow people really liked the first one but didn't like the second one. So if you have time than watch these videos and tell me, what you liked or disliked, so that we could improve :) thanks



    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      Well that sucks, had two FT, had a chance to win 500 euros but went allin 3way KK vs AA vs AQ and lost, so finished 4th and only got 201 euros :( I also finished second on 888 poker and won 222$ but still very dissapointed with those FT's :(
      Anyway was very close to FT for 10 euros in Winamax but lost 88vsKT and finished 12th, also in progressive 5 euro tourney finished 10th and had some ITM's but overall not a good day. But it was my mistake, the problem was the day before i went to friends place and we were drinking till 6 in the morning and i only slept like 5-6 hours so yesterday i felt very tired but i still managed to play my A game for the first 5-6 hours but the problem was that i should have to finish loading tables after those 5-6 hours cause i was really close to just fall asleep while i was playing, felt like shit and my brains literally were on standby, so i have no idea why i continued loading tables till 3 am... Fuck i could easily be up 200-250$ for the day if i just would stop playing after i felt that i'm not going to be able to play my A game, ehh.. So yeah i continued playing and it went like this - sleepy + C game + running like shit and in the end i lost everything that i won but oh well, at least i know that next time when i'm going to have similar feelings than i will just stop and that's it.

      Yesterday:



      Anyway going to continue playing today and tomorrow and going to take monday off, so let's how profitable will be this weekend !!!
    • smarnijss
      smarnijss
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      Joined: 05.02.2009 Posts: 281
      also forgot to mention that next week i'm going to start streaming but first i need to finish making an overlay for the channel and also need to clean my pc and maybe buy a new web camera but i will try to do that on monday.

      Also if you're a passionate fun of manga, novels and all kinds of written work, could you please do this survey, it only has 3 questions and i really want to see if people are interested in this project that i'm making at the moment. Even if i know that surveys can be pain in the ass but this survey is really important for me, so yeah please do this survey. cheers

      https://goo.gl/GXGk0Q
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