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Poker is damn addictive

  • 8 replies
    • BadHabit1989
      BadHabit1989
      Silver
      Joined: 14.07.2016 Posts: 717
      if she doesnt support your addiction its mb not the right partner!
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 2,155
      Hi Merlinious,

      All jokes aside, gambling addiction is a real thing and it needs to be taken seriously. That doesn't mean, however, that everyone who is passionate or ambitious about poker is an addict - far from it. In fact, in my case, poker actually helped me deal with my gambling problems, because it made me think in terms of odds and making profitable decisions, which quickly made me realize how pointless casino games are.

      Before we can discuss whether your partner is right, you need to ask yourself whether or not poker is an addiction for you. Do you feel regret after playing? Do you use money you can't afford to lose? Do you spend too much time on poker that should be spent on other areas in your life? Are you a losing player but still feel the urge to keep playing, hoping to get lucky and recoup those losses?

      If you're like most of us, you're just a competitive player who likes to win, because we all strive to be good at what we do. But if you feel that you may genuinely have an addiction and it's affecting other areas of your life, then this needs to be addressed.
    • TurokRider
      TurokRider
      Bronze
      Joined: 21.10.2011 Posts: 133
      Harrier nailed it. Take a close look at yourself and try to answer the questions harrier asks you.
      Especially these two: "Do you use (and loose) money you can't afford to lose? " and "Do you spend too much time on poker that should be spent on other areas in your life?"
    • Merlinious
      Merlinious
      Basic
      Joined: 22.11.2017 Posts: 8
      Yes, I do lose money I can't afford to lose - I'm that addicted. I'm scared of losing her, but really I don't know how to stop. We've actually started doing online therapy sessions through regain and I think we were doing great. I just need to be stronger, and I need her to be stronger, for me.

      What else can I do?
    • metalmonkey80
      metalmonkey80
      Moderator
      Moderator
      Joined: 15.08.2013 Posts: 2,219
      *. I have edited out the link as it is against the forum principles.

      What games and limits are you playing?
    • la55i
      la55i
      Moderator
      Moderator
      Joined: 27.01.2013 Posts: 7,914
      Hi Merlinious,

      I'm glad to hear that the online therapy sessions are helping.
      I don't have much experience in dealing with addictions, but I think it is important that you acknowledge and accept that there is no quick way to make money. Casino games are rigged and house always wins in the end. Poker can be profitable in the long term but it requires a lot of hard work.

      If you like poker, maybe you can try to think about the competitiveness and being better than other players instead of just focusing on the money. You could also study some mental game material (we have some videos here and you can read The Mental Game of Poker). That might give you a better idea how the game works and what kind of a mindset is required.

      But I'm really not sure if it is a good idea to continue playing at the moment if you are struggling with your addiction. My recommendation is that you try to control yourself, just don't play, and keep on talking with a professional.
    • Harrier88
      Harrier88
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.05.2012 Posts: 2,155
      Hey Merlinious,

      Well, you openly admitted that you have a gambling addiction, which is an important first step. It is also great that you recognize that your relationship with your partner is more important than your desire to gamble. As long as you realize this, you should be on your way to improvement.

      I see two ways out of this. Either you decide that gambling is too destructive for you to keep going and make a firm decision to stop right then and there, or you try to find a healthy balance between gambling and real life, which means that you'll need to cut down on your games and probably re-adjust your overall attitude towards gambling. Either way, you will need strength and discipline to pull this off, but as I said, you already took some very important first steps on your way.

      It should also be noted that most poker sites include options for problem gamblers to either self-exclude completely from their games or to set hard limits on how much they will be able to bet. This could help you on your way, if you find it too difficult to deal with it through your own self-determination alone.

      By the way, is poker the only thing you feel you're addicted to, or do you also have similar problems with other forms of gambling, like casino games, lotteries or sports betting?

      Like I was saying in my first post, I was also showing some signs of problem gambling when I first got started about five years ago. There definitely is a way out of it, and I'm willing to help you, if you need it. I just sent you a friend request in case you ever want to have a personal conversation about any of this.

      Best wishes to you and your partner, and enjoy the rest of the holidays!
    • TurokRider
      TurokRider
      Bronze
      Joined: 21.10.2011 Posts: 133
      The pokerstars client, if you play there, has features to limit yourself. You can e.g. exclude yourself to play certain levels and/or buy-ins, and you can restrict yourself to play at all (for a set timeperiod).

      Check "Tools" and then "Responsible gaming". It might be a good idea to look into that, and restrict yourself from playing that way.

      I have all limits above a certain range, and all sports and casino betting restricted, but that's only because IF my account would be stolen, they can't get the money out fast.