So, to keep the english forum alive and funny, i'd like to start a thread with some of my favorite english puns. Feel free to share yours...:


Two men in Alaska bought a kajak and began a journey with hiking and rafting. One day, while they where rafting, they both had the idea to make a fire in the kajak because it was freezing cold this day. After a minute, the fire burned through the ship and the kajak sank, drowning both men. Because we all know:

You can't have a kajak and heat it, too.
(This might be tricky for non-native speakers)


A woman booked an old dog trainer for some hours to teach her dogs. After her dogs knew some tricks, she borrowed some nearly similar looking dogs from her neighbor to make fun of the trainer. But the trainer at once recognized the change, because:

You can't trick an old teach with new dogs.


Ghandi always walked on his bare feet, so he had many calluses. He also was very thin and there was a kind of aura around him which made him seem like no normal human being. Because he very seldom had the time or the possibility to brush his teeth, his breath smelled very strong. All this made him a:

Super callused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis


Sorry for eventual mistakes in language or grammar...