Funny conversations with support

    • AussieIan
      AussieIan
      Bronze
      Joined: 10.12.2007 Posts: 366
      Saw these on 2+2, thought i'd share.....the support team at Carbon seem to be good sports.

      Chat InformationPlease wait for a site operator to respond.
      Chat InformationYou are now chatting with 'CS Abby'
      Chat InformationYour Issue ID for this chat is LTK61304262404X
      CS Abby: Hello! How may I assist you?
      DRUNKBABOON: Hi, when is the last day I can get the reload bonus?
      CS Abby: Are you referring to the 75UP reload bonus code?
      DRUNKBABOON: yes
      CS Abby: Alright, claiming of 75UP reload code is valid until August 31 2009 00:00 server time
      DRUNKBABOON: thanks abby
      CS Abby: You're welcome.
      CS Abby: Do you have any other questions that I can help you with?
      DRUNKBABOON: Would you like to have dinner with me?
      CS Abby: I'd love to but no thanks
      DRUNKBABOON: You'd love to but no.
      DRUNKBABOON: I think we could have something special
      CS Abby: I appreciate it but we are not allowed to go out with our players/customer
      DRUNKBABOON: This could be a new beginning for us, the budding of a beautiful flower that could be our relationship
      DRUNKBABOON: You are just going to let Carbon Poker steal that from us
      CS Abby: That's sweet but I'm already engaged
      CS Abby:
      CS Abby: Is there anything else you'd like to ask?
      DRUNKBABOON: What's your favorite color?
      CS Abby: That would be white, Im sorry but we are not allowed to discuss anything that is not poker related.
      CS Abby: Hope you understand..
      DRUNKBABOON: Okay, well what do you think about this. A loose aggressive player raises on the button, I'm in the big blind with 44. Do I pop him back and put him to the test, or just call for implied odds and hope to hit a set on the flop?
      CS Abby: Well it's your call. It would depend on your strategy if you call his raise or not.
      DRUNKBABOON: What do you think though.
      CS Abby: In my opinion, since my card is a pair of 4s, I guess I will try to call and see if he's only bluffing . Ill try to take a look first with the cards laid down if my odds are good. however if he just went all in, well Ill probably fold my hands and not take the risk.
      DRUNKBABOON: He could have 23, what if he has 23?
      DRUNKBABOON: I am going to play in the 1,000 garaunteed tournament at 00:00, are you going to come watch me?
      DRUNKBABOON: Do you want to play?
      CS Abby: Im sorry but we support are not allowed to play, as per company's policy.
      DRUNKBABOON: So you are coming to watch me then
      CS Abby: Ill try but we do a separate department that will monitor our games. We live support can only take a few minutes to watch if there's any player concerns with regards to a particular game.
      DRUNKBABOON: Ok cool
      DRUNKBABOON: I like you
      DRUNKBABOON: can we be friends
      CS Abby: Sure! you sounded a very nice guy to me too
      CS Abby: Well if you have any concerns with your games or anything, just contact us anytime.
      DRUNKBABOON: Ok I will miss you
      DRUNKBABOON: Can I come back and talk to you again
      CS Abby: Sure no problem.
      CS Abby: Do you have any other questions that I can help you with?
      DRUNKBABOON: Do you think its ok if I teach my 11 year old daughter how to play poker, how to grind, and then to rake a percentage of her profits during live SnGs?
      DRUNKBABOON: Or should she be able to spend it all on crayons if she wants.
      CS Abby: I dont think it's okay, since your daughter is only 11years old. She shouldn't be playing poker or gambling.
      CS Abby: Just let her play with her crayons instead and leave the games to her dad
      DRUNKBABOON: But she's playing live. Live SnGs against other grown men.
      DRUNKBABOON: Poker sharpens the intellect, it will help her.
      DRUNKBABOON: She will learn math and critical thinking before any other child.
      DRUNKBABOON: She's not gambling at all, she's grinding out a profit of 64 crayons per hour.
      DRUNKBABOON: We have documented her win rate
      CS Abby: Okay well it's your opinion, but I have said my piece, for me kids shouldn't be gambling or playing pokers. She might play in play mode instead but minors aren't allowed to play in real cash games.
      DRUNKBABOON: I can't let her go back to playchips after forcing her to become a black belt in Phil Hellmuth's poker courses
      CS Abby: Alright, you're her dad, I think you know what's best for your kid.
      DRUNKBABOON: I am 3rd in chips in the 1,000 Gar.
      DRUNKBABOON: A donkey jammed A3 offsuit into my Kings for about 500 bigblinds.
      DRUNKBABOON: Do you see me?
      CS Abby: Yes I can check that you are playing at table 6.
      DRUNKBABOON: I will take you to dinner with my profits
      DRUNKBABOON: and I will be the one that will still be around when your boyfriend goes to Las Vegas for a bachelor party and snorts meth off a strangers breast
      DRUNKBABOON: Who will still be there for you? I will.
      CS Abby: Sounds cool
      DRUNKBABOON: Who is the one that rakes their daughter's profit so we can go to movies? I am.
      DRUNKBABOON: not him.
      DRUNKBABOON: He doesn't have that kind of dedication.
      CS Abby: Alright, Im sorry but we are really queueing as of the moment. Do you have any other concerns that I can assist you with?
  • 13 replies
    • AussieIan
      AussieIan
      Bronze
      Joined: 10.12.2007 Posts: 366
      and from the same guy...........

      Chat InformationPlease wait for a site operator to respond.
      Chat InformationYou are now chatting with 'CS Channelle'
      Chat InformationYour Issue ID for this chat is LTK61305875680X
      CS Channelle: Hello! How may I assist you?
      DRUNKBABOON: Hi Channelle, I wanted to enquire about what the sites position is on having primates play...I have a pet monkey, can he play on my account or does he have to create his own to be able to play?
      DRUNKBABOON: I recently taught him how to play poker, he understands it pretty well. I've taught him how to grind. He has been grinding it out in live SnGs against my neighbors for a $5 per game average.
      CS Channelle: well, if your monkey can play, you can let him play but please be advised that you are responsible for everything.
      CS Channelle: he will not be able to create his own account as they do not have brains like ours.
      CS Channelle: he will still need your help if he will create his own account.
      CS Channelle: also your money does not have any id for any verification process.
      DRUNKBABOON: Why can't he create his own account? He is more than able to follow the simple processes involved in creating an account and I take it as an insult that you would suggest otherwise.
      DRUNKBABOON: So you are saying he needs to get a drivers license?
      DRUNKBABOON: Or a form of government ID?
      CS Channelle: not really a drivers license but any government issued id would do
      DRUNKBABOON: OK, I've taken him to the park district to play with children I think he can get one there.
      CS Channelle: ok
      DRUNKBABOON: So once we get him an ID, he can signup for an account and start playing cash games?
      CS Channelle: he will need to deposit i guess, and the payment method should be on his own name..
      DRUNKBABOON: Alright.
      CS Channelle: Do you have any other questions that I can help you with?
      DRUNKBABOON: Now, I want to know if he happens to win the bad beat jackpot does he as the owner of the account get it all?
      CS Channelle: no
      DRUNKBABOON: Why not.
      CS Channelle: are you the player who won?
      CS Channelle: only the players who can get the prize
      CS Channelle: he created the account, he, only he can get the prize.
      DRUNKBABOON: If while he is grinding 8 tables of 100NL he wins the bad beat jackpot, he gets the 200,000 dollars right?
      CS Channelle: yes
      DRUNKBABOON: or the 30 percent or so.
      DRUNKBABOON: Okay.
      DRUNKBABOON: Lastly, I just wanted to get your opinion on if I should rake his winnings or not. I've spent months teaching him the game and strategies, do you think it's ok if I rake some of his live SnG profits?
      CS Channelle: why dont you just your monkey play on your account so it would be less hassle if ever he wins the bad beat jackpot
      DRUNKBABOON: If I have him grind online during the day while I am at work, and then rake some of his profits for alcohol and marajuana for the 2 of us.
      DRUNKBABOON: Do you think that's okay?
      CS Channelle: it is your decision, it's up to you and your pet monkey.
      DRUNKBABOON: I know but it's a hard decision, I don't know, maybe he should just get to keep all of it and surround himself with bananas, you know?
      DRUNKBABOON: What do you think?
      CS Channelle: he will love it for sure...
      DRUNKBABOON: Should he get to buy thousands of bananas with his profit or should I be able to buy my girlfriend birth control with it.
      CS Channelle: you can do both if you want
      DRUNKBABOON: ok yeah thats a good idea
      DRUNKBABOON: thanks channelle you've been very helpful
      CS Channelle: no problem
      CS Channelle: contact us back anytime
    • sabo999
      sabo999
      Bronze
      Joined: 11.06.2008 Posts: 502
      Possibly my 2 new favorite post's

      Sabo :club:
    • NightFrostaSS
      NightFrostaSS
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.10.2008 Posts: 5,255
      [√]Seen it on 2+2
      [√] Expected to see something new
    • MigArt
      MigArt
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.06.2009 Posts: 130
    • swissmoumout
      swissmoumout
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.02.2007 Posts: 3,385
      ok, i'll forgive the lack of originality in the first one... but the 2nd one, you're just copying a joke from another forum, that's just lame
    • justkyle88
      justkyle88
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.05.2008 Posts: 7,590
      holy shit, thats awesome.
    • andreibalint
      andreibalint
      Bronze
      Joined: 11.04.2009 Posts: 872
      copied or not the posts are very funny. You generally expect the staff to be robots..
    • JuiceQuadre
      JuiceQuadre
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.10.2008 Posts: 2,688
      I think its a boring job, so why not make fun with a guy who wanna let his monkey play.. I would talk to him as well if was bored there ;)
    • AussieIan
      AussieIan
      Bronze
      Joined: 10.12.2007 Posts: 366
      Originally posted by swissmoumout
      ok, i'll forgive the lack of originality in the first one... but the 2nd one, you're just copying a joke from another forum, that's just lame
      hmmmmm, it states clearly in the OP that it's from another forum...but why let comprehension deter your response.

      Comprehension FAIL
    • Cpwpoker
      Cpwpoker
      Bronze
      Joined: 04.06.2009 Posts: 706
      Lol nice :P

      Will try to do this with the mansion poker support like everytime i'm asking them for things xD
    • swissmoumout
      swissmoumout
      Bronze
      Joined: 23.02.2007 Posts: 3,385
      Originally posted by AussieIan
      Originally posted by swissmoumout
      ok, i'll forgive the lack of originality in the first one... but the 2nd one, you're just copying a joke from another forum, that's just lame
      hmmmmm, it states clearly in the OP that it's from another forum...but why let comprehension deter your response.

      Comprehension FAIL
      oh, my bad, sorry. it's just that the original "monkey playing poker" thing was in an email exchange with FTP support (one of the rare times they really delivered), hence the confusion. Let me rectify:

      but the 2nd one, he's just copying a joke from someone else, that's just lame
    • MaCe90
      MaCe90
      Bronze
      Joined: 03.01.2009 Posts: 194
      LoLoLoL , that was fricking funny :D
    • SergioFotti
      SergioFotti
      Bronze
      Joined: 12.04.2009 Posts: 243
      Lol. It was a good idea to go into english forum. Nice and very fun.

      In fact, i've got some similar experience to keep talking that way in Titan, when the support staff ask me for a deposit every 5 minutes. I was angry then, but decided to talk very politely and to flirt a support girl. She found nothing better than the words she is gay. Loool.