letter of motivation - pls help

    • itSmIn3z
      itSmIn3z
      Black
      Joined: 17.09.2008 Posts: 2,524
      Hey guys,
      for my semester abroad i have to write a "letter of motivation". Because my English is not perfect, it would be great if one of you native speakers could check it. Thank you very much!

      Dear Prof. Dr. V....,

      When travelling through Turkey in 2003 I was very impressed by the country and its people. I always wanted to come back to Turkey and stay there for a longer time. The semester abroad offers me this possibility, so I want to take it. I am sure the selected universities give me the opportunity to deepen my knowledge about different themes in economics and will contribute to a good bachelor’s degree in IBS.
      But I do not just want to expand my knowledge in economics. It is a great possibility of getting known another culture, which is very interesting and exciting in my opinion. Especially, because the Turkish culture it is not as similar to the German culture as the English or American are. The conflict between tradition and the convergence on Europe, the Islam on the one hand and the strict separation of religion and state on the other hand, are two aspects of Turkish culture I want to understand better.

      Another positive aspect for taking a semester in Turkey is the language. As there are many courses given in English, it gives me the possibility to actually use English in daily life and not just to hear the English I am used to from school and university. Another advantage of Turkey as the destination of my exchange is, that I can get known to another language and I will hopefully be able to learn a spark of Turkey.
      All in all the semester in Turkey will help me to make a lot of new experiences and will be beneficial for my future job, which will hopefully also be in a international context.
      Due to my university performance so far I am sure not to have big problems with a study abroad. Please note that I started my studies in IBS this semester and that the transfer of my grades is not yet complete. If you have any question I am fully at your disposal.

      Yours faithfully

      B......
  • 1 reply
    • Waiboy
      Waiboy
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.09.2008 Posts: 4,877
      Hey itSmIn3z

      In the main this is very clear and well structured. :s_thumbsup:

      I've chucked in some suggested edits you might consider - bear in mind some of these suggestions may be overly nitty so I hope you don't take any offense and please don't feel any overwhelming need to include them as the letter generally reads well and is understandable.

      Please note I may have altered your meaning - especially in the line "...in my opinion..." as the way the sentance was written the meaning was ambiguous. You need to ensure the use of the phrase "...in my opinion" isn't used at the conclusion of the sentance.

      Good luck with the adventure. :f_biggrin:

      Originally posted by itSmIn3z
      Hey guys,
      for my semester abroad i have to write a "letter of motivation". Because my English is not perfect, it would be great if one of you native speakers could check it. Thank you very much!

      Dear Prof. Dr. V....,

      When travelling through Turkey in 2003 I was very impressed by the country and its people. I always wanted to come back to Turkey and stay there for a longer time. The semester abroad offers me this possibility, so I want to take it. I am sure the selected universities give me the opportunity to deepen my knowledge about different themes in economics and will contribute to a good bachelor’s degree in IBS.
      But I do not just want to expand my knowledge in economics. It is a great opportunity to get to know another culture, which in my opinion, is very interesting and exciting. Especially, because the Turkish culture it is not as similar to the German culture as the English or American cultures are. The conflict between tradition and the convergence on Europe, and having Islam on the one hand and the strict separation of religion and state on the other hand, are two aspects of Turkish culture I want to understand better.

      Another positive aspect for taking a semester in Turkey is the language. As there are many courses given in English, it gives me the possibility to actually use English in daily life and not just to hear the English I am used to from school and university. Another advantage of Turkey as the destination of my exchange is, that I can get to know another language and I will hopefully be able to learn a spark of *"a spark of" is not a common usage term - perhaps use "a little about"* Turkey.
      All in all the semester in Turkey will present/provide a lot of new experiences and will be beneficial for my future employment, which will hopefully also be in a international context.
      Due to my university performance so far I am sure not to have significant problems with studying abroad. Please note that I started my studies in IBS this semester and that the transfer of my grades is not yet complete. If you have any questions I am fully at your disposal.

      Yours faithfully

      B......