Tiger Woods

  • 11 replies
    • THeGaME23
      THeGaME23
      Bronze
      Joined: 12.10.2009 Posts: 398
      Im more of a fan now thats hes pimpin
    • qcjunior
      qcjunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.09.2008 Posts: 144
      Whats the difference between a car and a golf ball?....Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
      Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?....He couldn't decide between an iron or a wood.
      What was Tiger woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?....they were clubbing.
      What club did Elin Woods use to rescue her husband?....A bitching wedge.
      The chinese are making a movie about Tigers crash!....They are calling it,"Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger".
      Tiger had to change his nickname!....Its now cheetah.
      Why did Tiger Woods crash his car?....He was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
      What did Tigers wife tell police when asked how many times she hit him?....She said" i don't know exactly, but he put me down for a 5".
      Tiger owns lots of expensive cars!....Now he has a hole in one.
      Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
    • KidPokersKid
      KidPokersKid
      Global
      Joined: 27.02.2009 Posts: 653
      Originally posted by qcjunior
      Whats the difference between a car and a golf ball?....Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
      Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?....He couldn't decide between an iron or a wood.
      What was Tiger woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?....they were clubbing.
      What club did Elin Woods use to rescue her husband?....A bitching wedge.
      The chinese are making a movie about Tigers crash!....They are calling it,"Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger".
      Tiger had to change his nickname!....Its now cheetah.
      Why did Tiger Woods crash his car?....He was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
      What did Tigers wife tell police when asked how many times she hit him?....She said" i don't know exactly, but he put me down for a 5".
      Tiger owns lots of expensive cars!....Now he has a hole in one.
      Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.

      LMAO got any more :f_biggrin:
    • Waiboy
      Waiboy
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.09.2008 Posts: 4,877
      I don't know why this all came as such a surprise to his wife.. at least five days a week he told her he was off to play around.

      OT: Yes.
    • EagleStar88
      EagleStar88
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.10.2008 Posts: 7,359
      omg, even legendary poker pro's Doyle Brunson & Erik Seidel are getting in on the act.

      Following courtesy of the great ones twitter pages:

      TexDolly

      Santa said "Ho, Ho,Ho"........Tiger said "Where, Where, Where"

      Erik_Seidel

      AP votes Tiger Woods the athlete of the Decade. They may not have even counted his golf accomplishments
      Sigh, poor tiger, we all make mistakes, go easy on him i say :(


      Bart
    • alejandrosh
      alejandrosh
      Bronze
      Joined: 02.07.2008 Posts: 4,346
      Originally posted by qcjunior
      Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
      so awesome.
    • ihufa
      ihufa
      Gold
      Joined: 18.03.2008 Posts: 3,323
      i don't see how any of this is tigers fault
    • KidPokersKid
      KidPokersKid
      Global
      Joined: 27.02.2009 Posts: 653
      Originally posted by ihufa
      i don't see how any of this is tigers fault
      :f_pleased:
    • qcjunior
      qcjunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.09.2008 Posts: 144
      They kissed and made up, actually Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement,according to the new contract the next time Tiger plays around,Elin will hand him his balls.

      That chinese movie will not be out till spring, but they released a new proverb to think about until then. He who drives well in "fairway"does not always "fare"well in driveways.

      there were live reports of this on CNN....Tigers troubles started early ,where,on only his second Ho,he drove through a water hazard and into the trees.

      Tigers attorneys issued the following statement today,"Mr Woods would like to take a mulligan".
    • KidPokersKid
      KidPokersKid
      Global
      Joined: 27.02.2009 Posts: 653
      Originally posted by qcjunior
      They kissed and made up, actually Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement,according to the new contract the next time Tiger plays around,Elin will hand him his balls.

      That chinese movie will not be out till spring, but they released a new proverb to think about until then. He who drives well in "fairway"does not always "fare"well in driveways.

      there were live reports of this on CNN....Tigers troubles started early ,where,on only his second Ho,he drove through a water hazard and into the trees.

      Tigers attorneys issued the following statement today,"Mr Woods would like to take a mulligan".
      :f_biggrin: ROFLMFAO
    • qcjunior
      qcjunior
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.09.2008 Posts: 144
      The last friday of the month Little Johnny's teacher likes to play trivia games,allowing the students to go home early if they answer correctly.

      Teacher says..."I will give you a famous quotation and the first person to tell me who said it will get to go home".
      Teacher...Ok class the first quotation is"Give me liberty or give me death"
      I know this little Johnny says to himself,and starts to raise his hand,but before he can Susan shouts out "Patrick Henry"
      "That's correct Susan"..says the teacher..."you may go home early"
      Little Johnny is not happy and tells himself that he needs to be faster raising his hand up.
      Teacher:.."The second quotation is.."We have nothing to fear but fear its self"
      Little Johnny is excited because he knows this one too,but before he can answer,Katie shouts out.."Franklin.D.Roosevelt".
      "That's correct Katie"..says the teacher..."enjoy the rest of the day off from school"
      After being cut off again, little Johnny is getting mad.
      "OK next quotation kids"..replies the teacher.."ask not what your country can do for you ,but what you can do for your country".
      Little Johnny begins to say .."Joh....",but cute Mary sitting in front of him yells out "John.F.Kennedy",before he gets the chance to finish.
      "That's correct Mary,you may also leave early today"..says the teacher.
      Now Johnny is furious,and when the teacher turns her back to watch Mary leave the classroom,Little Johnny says"..I wish all these bitches would keep their mouths shut".
      Teacher turns and says.."NOW WHO SAID THAT"?
      Little Johnny.."TIGER WOODS.....CAN I GO NOW"?
      :s_tongue: