Bloging it up!

    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Hello dear members,

      I'll think its time to start a blog. My mental coach (she is coaching a few famoes high stakes players) inisted to start a journal about my thoughts before jumping into the game, my feelings in general and what goals I try to accomplish. Lets start there!

      Im playing on ftp and stared with some good results in plo rush and plo hu cap games. Lost my head, and end up in double or busto mood, bad beated flat broke and angry at myself for being this uncontrolled freak.

      I passed the quiz last week and received the 50us starting roll on 888 poker. Im not a good mtt player but did well in the few games I played (there taking so long). and pushed my roll well over 200 bucks.

      From there I did take some shots at plo25 and few plo100 short stack attemps. With swingy outcomes and decided for once and for all, I should play within bmr and grind from there. I still struggle and after bad session trying to win it back, low lmit/micro games can be really annoying, they fish suck out on you or you're being inpatiance playing to agressive and loose a lot in chasing, outplaying and bluffing all in the -ev wrong spots.

      Goals:

      :diamond: mindset, prepare routine.
      :diamond: beat plo6/plo10
      :diamond: stop and loose rull


      :heart: dont take shots
      :heart: 40bi rule before moving up
      :heart: you are they knowleged player, accept variance
      :heart: have confident in your game!

      :club: improve status this month ps/888
      :club: learn more and analyse sessions (my river play is still weak and exploitable in 1/2 2/4 games)
      :club: grind
      :club: move up to plo25 regular

      current roll: 385us.
  • 18 replies
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Hmm, im about to explode. What a terrible run. St8 vs rivering full houses and flushes. I really do hate the limpingfest on micro,isolation fails. But I should be tighterwhat for the good spots and then get sucked out, variance grrrr.

      Back on my feet roll took a hit, 345us.
    • MrMardyBum
      MrMardyBum
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.03.2009 Posts: 2,206
      Unlucky on the bad beats, although I'm sure if you keep playing well all that cash will come back to you :)

      Where are you from?
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Im dutch. Played a few hands against major hyper aggressive player, had AATT hit a T on T54 board. I'll check he puts in the bet, I wait and pot, fish shoves and showes 68TA, river 7 and he left :(

      Made a nother mistake while cheating, and entering to put message and not to bet pot with K kicker 5 and no redraws, and repeated it in the same pot , ending up loosing 5 bucks. I normaly never chat on the table :f_p:

      I had some great inside in high stakes players mind. Some one who my mental coach introduced me 2 :heart:

      But overall I did okay and only lost a few dollars. I nstalled the new software on 888, the ps download gives you the old software. The new one makes me enjoy the game even more, so good stuff :heart:
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      To bloody hot today, and I promised myself not 2 play. The chilling mood outside was sweat drupping so back into.

      My compuerscreen screaming, go go. There were 2 plo10 going on, with full buy in players instead ofthe annoying 2us clows. One player was really agressive, made few tuff laydowns. He opens again, im holding KKQT one Kis suited and 3bet. He calls board ugly 456 rainbow. He bets I float turn J, he bets I shove, he callswith 6673 owned :f_confused: (should have folded).

      After that im loosing it a bit, get sucked out again and loose tilt buy in and some dumm bets. Both tables fill up, and im loosing the mood to be patiance and im done playingmultiway pots of a least 4 other players.

      Its hard to grind this, since 888 only offer 9 handed plo games in plo2/6/10.
      I feel my agression rising and Im so fed up being the loosing player for 2 days straight in a row. I could not resist jumping in the plo25 games, spotted few good tables with no regs (the regs are really passive 2, but not making big mistakes). And did well busting a guy 2 times. Not the way I like it, if I lost there, I jumped in the plo100 and/or plo200 games for sure, andwould have lost my roll possibly.

      I might lay down for a while and start to grind sng, not sure yet. I need to play better.

      Roll: 356us
    • stevegold87
      stevegold87
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.06.2009 Posts: 2,640
      Be ccareful man, it seems like tilting makes you go crazy and you don't want that in poker, you will regret losing your bankroll after that! :s_cool:
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      I'll keep running pretty bad at plo10, its variance and its hitting hard on me! Started of loosing 3bi, made a move to plo25 (Tilted) played TT46, all the way to the river with open ender and mist, in 3 handed 45us pot, my Tens were good doh, played BE and went shopping.

      This night I had an intense mental coaching, focusing on anger, goals and mindset:

      I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY ------ WHY ---- because is a reaction to what seems deliberate unfair treatment by others.

      Example --

      My hand had 80% chance of wining. His hand had 20% chance of winning. I believe it is unfair that he won.


      Reasons for playing:

      INVESTMENT - Put something in with the expectation of getting more out of it.


      I felt okay and worried little less about brm, with good table selection and managed to play 3 tables plo25. Building pots with high 3 bet agression, some good handranging and betting for value. I'm happy with the way I played.

      Roll: 410us.

      Im moving into a new place next Friday, so my status goals haveto wait for next month, 150 pspoints shotfor gold :evil:
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Really busy with my new place. Bought a new floor and a super cool cupboard. My main theme is gonne be a seventies style with moderntwist in bright orange and yellow :heart:

      I'll hope to finish and moving asap, but have a week. I arranged cable tellie & internet and all the other things, im gonne hate the postman bringing me bills :s_evil:

      I did not play much poker, stacked a friend with 50us, so I need to bring it up again. Played a few hands on nl6 :f_p: and took 3bi. At last, there was some action on the stud h tables, underrolled but not a catastrophe, playing a few hands andim back over a 400us roll :tongue:

      Still thinking of massive grinding the 2,50 6 handed sng. My edge on those games is huge, but in some way thinking of playing 6-10 tables for forever (6 hours plus, maximum 17 hours) is such a task. Grinding them for lets say 0,30 cents per game is gonne be braindeadly BORRING, but still a good way to start the plo25 with some agressive bmr (25bi).

      I will keep my head spinning and try to figure out what im gonne do, mtt's are juicy too.

      Roll: 405 (gave away 50us).
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Made it almost 500us in two weeks from 50us pokerstadegy starting cash. Its a shame Im not in the situation to grind it, since I have my new place and really want an expenive bench for in the living :tongue:

      So thanks for helping me to buy it :) Lost 150us I pretty much donked away, so I'll be off.

      End
    • stevegold87
      stevegold87
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.06.2009 Posts: 2,640
      So you are withdrawing your money?
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      yup, moving and buying stuff I want,is expensive :heart:
    • Jehudas
      Jehudas
      Bronze
      Joined: 15.05.2008 Posts: 207
      so thats totally it with your poker "career"?

      nevertheless, enjoy your new flat and furniture :f_biggrin:
    • stevegold87
      stevegold87
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.06.2009 Posts: 2,640
      Well I know it's too late for me to speak but I also withdrew some money back then because I needed it and I regret it. I am hating climbing all the way back up again. So if you can consider leaving yourself some BR at least you dont have to do that..unless you really are not interested in poker anymore!
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Thanks for the support and good advice! I had to cash out, cause the money was to good to gamble it up, instead of bying the stuff I really needed. No fun if you playing in an empty house :s_biggrin:

      Its gonne take a while to be as I was, and im planning to do so. But for now its just waiting and doing some coaching. I hate doing it to be honnest, teaching plo/sng/mtt at the micro stackes is pretty much a pain in the ass. But my student is making some progress and won a 0,10 mtt on stars today :D

      For me, I deciced that I have to prove something and accepted a small backing to play a few sng 45/90/180 on ftp. My sharkscope is horrible, so I will working on that, trying to get it up.

      [img][IMG]https://img825.imageshack.us/img825/9720/displaygraphsittingoutz.png[/IMG][/img]

      Yeah its that bad :f_o:
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      I just hate sng/mtt. All day long my AA (3 times) and KK (5 times) were all huge favorites but none hold up. I really think ftp is just so freaking rigged in those games. I know the blablabla of variance, but when I keep loosing 70/30 flips there isn't variance and no way to break even. Its just so annoying, grrrr.

      So I went down quikly, and started to play rush 5nl. And got my badge for it, joy :tongue: Went okay, then made some huge mistakes and was pretty much on the break even spot from were I left with the sng/mtt.

      With 4 buy ins ( im playing backed, pff) sorry sorry.. I jumped into the plo10 rush. Played pretty well and made a good comeback plus some extra $$ to build my roll.

      Its fair to say I have a heavy road before me, and will get back into the sng/mtt. I promise, for the fun my graff :s_cry:

      [img][IMG]https://img341.imageshack.us/img341/2949/displaygraphday2.png[/IMG][/img]
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Played pretty much all night till morning, but keep failing to win a flip when it matters. I hate holdem :f_confused: Its not going well, and im pretty much bankrupt my backing all ready, joy!

      Playing rush plo10 with only 3BI isn't smart either, but cut my looses and im a small amount up overall. But variance is gonne kick in sooner or later. I watched a few plo instruction vids from Brain Hastings and a few other pro's. Helped me a lot defining ranges and 3 bet calls, some pretty weird stuff.

      So I run pretty good playing just 2 tables :D But i've been there before when I ran 45BI under EV in plo10 rush. But with the few adjustments I made I should be fine. Still really cant play it with no sense BRM its a destiny to go broke. So im probably start tommorow with sng/mtt's again and compaining here about my cracked AA and KK. I could play sng hu, NL and/or plo have to think about that.

      For your entertainment :f_mad:

      [img][IMG]https://img683.imageshack.us/img683/8220/blubgraf.png[/IMG][/img]
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      Did not play today, had some mood swings :O Nothing serious doh :heart:

      Im really fed up by my sharkscope graf, and decided to play hu sng's for a while after watching some instruction vids. Main problem I have in those games is that I get really annoyed about limping players that limp all buttons, and move my play into a maniac style :s_cool:

      My graf is bad, but I did and always do well on hu sng. The get borred pretty soon and I feel robbed if I loose hands, but will adjust my feelings towards that and grind them up (making the right decision, no matter what the outcome is!). I will play the 2,15us on ftp and add some plo in for sure but mainly holdem.

      So far:

      Games: 65
      Average Profit Average: $0.32
      ROI: 16%
      Total Profit: $21.00
      Average Buy-In: $1.97

      Plan is to multi table them up to 4 tables, but start with 2 or 3 games.

      Wish me luck, gonne need it!
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      One bad beat away, before I explode and feeling the urge to piss it all away. The satisfaction of loosing remains an unsolved mystery, just a feeling that I suck and deserve to put myself down and all the work building a roll in the past few weeks gets blowing away, because I have no controle to overcome one single fact of the knowlege that (bad) runs of variance, paying of the chasing fish is an imported aspect of the game.

      Im not ready, my mind is a road of endless crosspoints, I dont recognize where I am. My vision blurs and my desicions becoming insecure. I move my feet hasty, scream and calling all players on the tables f*cking idiots. I need to release, being angry as I have been robbed. The treatment is tilting away in the games I still participate, and taking higher shots because I WANT MY MONEY BACK!

      Its hard having skill, the tools for a great pokermind. When you suffer in your disbelieve, unstablle emotionel controle and feeling failed if you loose, not reaching the goals and not accepting that you always still could loose the hand, wrong expectations. But its not all about that. To be honnest im all the time scared when im playing, whatever the stakes are or what I have behind brm wise. The pressure being succesfull puts such a high and unbearable weight to my mindset, that I quit the game instand when I'm up or doubled up at a table, scared to fail, scared to tell myself later that I had to quit when I still was up, and now im in the trigger mode. I dont care anymore. Im not scared but only feel satisfied when A: I got my money back or B when I lost my hole roll.

      Making new plans, to overcome my mistakes in the past. Thinking I won't feel this way if I drop a nother deposit, strickly playing within brm and dont getting upset by bad beats or my own failure. But its a lie, its easy to promise yourself those things when you are busto. Its simple to play with the money you once had but no longer have access to.

      You have to face your problems and work on them if you want to keep going. What you need is the importance of enjoying the game, whatever the outcome may be. Playing with money that means something to you is blocking your game in a massive way and easy to pick up if you face a player who is picking that up and starts exploiting you.

      The good news is that all I mentioned above is in the past, im doing not to bad a t all. But im aware of the problems I have and I am still working on the bad tilt isues and my scared feeling towards this game. I still have a long road to cross and taking a little break to find some things I will enjoy besides poker.
    • SittingOuts
      SittingOuts
      Bronze
      Joined: 05.05.2010 Posts: 36
      [img][IMG]https://img7.imageshack.us/img7/5600/sittingoutszsept.png[/IMG][/img].

      I will move it up :s_evil: