Nice blog dude, will follow!!
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I am not happy with my yesterday play. I thought I was playing fine until I did Session Review. I think today I also made some mistakes. I never had a problem with fear before but now I think I have some problems with it. For last 4-5 days I am losing pretty often with strong hands. Even though only last two days are losing I still remember when my FH was crushed by quad, my FH was crushed by FH, str8 by str8, flush by flush, etc.
I had plans to make more soft tomorrow day and do some relaxing stuff but right now I can’t. I have date with HM2. I am going to spend 2h+ to spot where I am doing mistakes and to find out where I lose value. Problem with fear is that. When you run bad, you don’t have enough spots to earn money. When you don’t take enough value it increase variation and you are on bigger downswing. The more you are down, the less value you take, the more you are afraid of it and you are doing it until you get busto. That’s why tomorrow I am going to make very scrupulous Session Review from last week.
This guy took more than 1.5 BI and run away. I was tilted because he took almost all my money from room and stupid poker room didn’t give me deposit more cash >_< It said password was wrong. Those fucking morons ask for password to poker room when you try to make deposit, not for skrill pw….
Hero (SB): $107.44 (53.7 bb)
BB: $89.36 (44.7 bb)
Preflop: Hero is SB with T
8
Hero raises to $4, BB calls $2
Flop: ($8) 5
K 4 (2 players)
BB bets $5.60, Hero raises to $17.36, BB calls $11.76
Turn: ($42.72) 9 (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $26, BB calls $26
River: ($94.72) 2 (2 players)
BB bets $2, Hero calls $2
Results:
Spoiler
$98.72 pot ($1 rake)
Final Board: 5 K 4 9 2
Hero mucked T 8 and lost (-$49.36 net)
BB showed 2 3
and won $97.72 ($48.36 net)
Guy from Polish community Domycia told me that I said I’ll do gratitude every day and I don’t . It hit me. For next month I’ll write what I am grateful for every day. I delay work on my happiness for 2 years now.
So yesterday I wrote on Polish blog that I am grateful for Domycia post. I would forget about it but because of him I’ll do it for next month or so.
Today I am grateful for my health and my physical ability. I saw one guy who couldn’t walk normally and then I realize how lucky I am that I can walk, run, train, fight, normally.
I am greatfull that I came back after huge tilt and was still playing my solid game. I am dying after doing all things I had to do so tomorrow I'll write more. Today I need to fucking sleep
Originally posted by thisrockz
how the fuck u ran almost 3k under ev on 50NL in 500 hands, in the first session?
Yeah 60BI below EV in 500 hands doesn't sound right...
Originally posted by ilidek
I go get drunk:
1) Drugs and alcohol is not an answer
As long as you don’t ask me, what I am goona do in my free time…. smile Just kidding. If you are depressed you will be depressed. If you feel nihilism you will feel nihilism. It change literally nothing. Don’t get me wrong I like to smoke some weed or drink wine with chick but I know it doesn’t relax me as much as sex or work out. It doesn’t relax me as much as walking lonely and thinking about life. It doesn’t solve any of my problem (water doesn’t solve them too) so I think it’s a bit overrated. Anyway I am still doing it from time to time. Why? Pure hedonism I guess.
@thisrockz , metza
It was provocation ♦ HM screw up something so I thought I’ll put it on forum… 
I was down just 100$ or so.
@REXPL
Nice one! ♦ I go get drunk because I was going to meet one girl. Main reason wasn’t this short downswing in 200 hands anyway it makes me leave ealier…
Ok day before yesterday I was very happy with myself. I was tilting hard. I was punching wall, kicking wall, throwing things. Literally 7 times in a row my two pair got owned or board paired on Turn / River. I Spewed 60 Euro and it broke me. I didn’t spew money for last month or so. I took cold cold shower for 10 min. I wanted spew so I got what I deserve. After 10 min I go back to game and was crushing those guys it was great day and I was very happy about myself.
Yesterday Was actually nice day. I was invited to drink and to meet one new girl. This downswing on 200 hands was reason why I go out earlier but it wasn’t a reason why I quit at all. I asked Gordon told him more specific about situation than I’ll do it on blog and he told me: “sounds good, go for her :)” and off I went. I need to relax more because I suck at it so I thought it’s a great opportunity. It was great. It seems that this new girl is much better than the last one I used to care about. She has some common behavior that I liked on this old one, but also she seems much better in different things. So she’s literally much better than the last one. Anyway we will see, how things will work out, because you need some time to get to know ppl better. In the morning she made coffee for me and something to eat what was sweet and I love this behavior in women. We will see how things are going to change. Yesterday I was grateful that I was invited.
I am very greatful that I can go to sleep because I am mega tierd.
Hero (SB): $175.17 (350.3 bb)
BB: $50.50 (101 bb)
Preflop: Hero is SB with 4 6
Hero raises to $1, BB calls $0.50
Flop: ($2) 5 3 K (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $1.50, BB calls $1.50
Turn: ($5) Q (2 players)
BB checks, Hero checks
River: ($5) 8 (2 players)
BB checks, Hero bets $3, BB calls $3
Results:
Spoiler
$11 pot ($0.50 rake)
Final Board: 5 3 K Q 8
Hero showed 4 6 and lost (-$5.50 net)
BB showed T J and won $10.50 ($5 net)
I am very tierd of doing nothing. I am very greatfull tomorrow I have working day because I'll do more things done and I'll feel bettter. Was watching all day long some Jackass, Dirty Sanchez, Viva La Bam, Steve O movies and some Russian guys who were more hardcore then them... I just want to end this day.
Today spend more than hour in HM. I am trying to spot why I am not doing good enough lately
I am giving up with gratefull thing I don't see a point in writing it. I want to sleep
I am mega happy with my second session. Was playing my A game. There was guy at nl100 who start playing with 30bb after 70 hands or so he has 450bb or so. I would even play with him for next 15BI's unofrtunatelly after 6th cooler he ran away:
I am re watching HU Mastermind becuase I feel powerlessness after two weeks of B/E
This was graph I wanted to post, then I lost backdoor Flush J high vs backdoor Flush A high at nl200 and fish run away I said fuck this shit:
This is how it's look like. No 5 digit(EV) number :
Atleast you are in the green! I know the feeling when you get a good EV spot and the result is red. Keep up the good plays and in the long run, you will win!
I hope its going good in the gym aswell, and the girls ;).
May i ask you how you do your session reviews? Just replay all the hands you played or only the one you lost or the ones over a certain BB?
Good luck in the future, you are inspiring!
Originally posted by Defailer
Atleast you are in the green! I know the feeling when you get a good EV spot and the result is red. Keep up the good plays and in the long run, you will win!I hope its going good in the gym aswell, and the girls ;).
May i ask you how you do your session reviews? Just replay all the hands you played or only the one you lost or the ones over a certain BB?
Good luck in the future, you are inspiring!
With girls I consider giving it up for a while or at least give up the idea of finding a GF. It take emotional energy and lately I am very exhausted because of poker. I can’t do anything what will slow down my progress so we will see. I don’t work out at gym. I changed it because I was to frustrate to just lift. I do box 4 times a week. Two times normal, two times Muai Thai. I know better times will come 
Session review. I watch hands 20bb>, sometimes I watch every hand on one table where I lost most. I also always check something with filters, when I am not sure is this play is correct I just see what ppl play like that and how I should adapt.
Thanks. I am glad my work can inspire someone.
More than last two weeks was tough for me. That’s why I decided I want to work more. When I work more I change things faster, here’s the outcome:
Graph from this month:
