OK, am I that bad?
Downswing, roughly calculating is over 36 buy-ins.
OK - I may not play perfectly, especially Shorthanded.
But I am definitely not THAT bad.
I feel like shit.
Roll?
~700$ 
(Ok I withdrew like 230$ just for some LITTLE motivation - to feel the money).
I'm not going down. Broke or hit that dream upswing I don't care.
When you finish a session, go over all the big pots you lost money in and see if you could played it different. See some movies and go back at tables. Go crush nl25sh now 
GL!
Thanks for the attempt to encourage me.
Sorry that this b-log turned into shit but this is the place that I try to put my negative energy after those horrific sessions. It's just that I don't do it at the tables where it would be way more costly.
I did really tilt off some money but no really BIG amounts, I guess that's the only positive thing I find.
Blah.
Anyway, not moving down.
I'm halfway a 500$ bonus and I guess I may recover. But I just want to win some money from pure play. For two months and a week I have lost ~2500$ from play which is.. disheartening.
36 buy ins downswing and they are sucking out on me like never before in my career.
I'm very happy with my game, I feel I have improved, but results still are down. It's endless I guess. I must try not to tilt because I'm on the verge of going broke.
Bankroll is at ~635$ but I'm moving close to clearing the 500$ bonus. I hope I don't go broke till then
But honestly, when you are 35 buyins down and they still make u crazy with winning <10% equity all ins and you feel like life is not honest.
Can I win ever again?
I am ready to go broke and see that. Such a downswing is just unreal and MUST stop.
OK, I'm close to 40 buyins downswing
tell me when will it stop?
I play very very well but..
Drsnugles posted the small blind - $0.25
finchybg posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to finchybg: A of d, A of c
Lady_Macbeth folded
Danshiel350 raised - $2.00
LiLiHaLiHa folded
DrainageEli called - $2.00
Drsnugles called - $2.00
finchybg raised - $10.00
Danshiel350 called - $10.00
DrainageEli folded
Drsnugles folded
** Dealing the flop: 6 of d, 4 of d, J of s
finchybg bet - $15.00
Danshiel350 went all-in - $36.40
finchybg called - $36.40
** Dealing the turn: 6 of s
** Dealing the river: 2 of s
Danshiel350 shows: 5 of h, 6 of h
finchybg mucks: A of d, A of c
I've never had so many beats of this kind in such a short time
I go broke probably..
this is the other type:
jouni62 posted the small blind - $0.25
ucanthurtme posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to finchybg: J of d, J of h
finchybg raised - $2.00
brizzy called - $2.00
Biddello folded
jouni62 folded
ucanthurtme folded
** Dealing the flop: 3 of d, 6 of c, 6 of s
finchybg bet - $4.00
brizzy raised - $8.00
finchybg went all-in - $68.35
brizzy went all-in - $10.91
** Dealing the turn: 9 of s
** Dealing the river: 3 of c
finchybg shows: J of d, J of h
brizzy shows: 9 of d, 9 of h
brizzy wins $40.45 from the main pot
Jakob posted the small blind - $0.25
CRL posted the big blind - $0.50
** Dealing card to finchybg: 10 of s, 10 of c
Snowmann_666 folded
mikeangus folded
JoroCSKA raised - $2.00
finchybg raised - $6.00
Jakob folded
CRL folded
JoroCSKA called - $6.00
** Dealing the flop: 8 of h, 10 of h, 3 of h
JoroCSKA checked
finchybg bet - $10.00
JoroCSKA went all-in - $28.93
finchybg called - $28.93
** Dealing the turn: 7 of c
** Dealing the river: Q of c
JoroCSKA shows: 6 of h, A of h
finchybg shows: 10 of s, 10 of c
JoroCSKA wins $67.61 from the main pot
IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN
I am a fukin loser
almost lost a 3k bankroll what a joke
As I am on the whole devastated, I want to track my downswing, at least those hands that I have tracked.
Anyway, it all began in the beginning of November when I received 850$ bonus and my bankroll was 2600$. I was very happy that I could come back to cashgames, and NL100 - a limit which had me crushed once in August. I wanted a revenge so to say. Didn't withdraw any money and I really regret that.
I wondered where to play and moved my money to Bodog poker, a place where much fish is said to swim. Had a dream first session which boosted my bankroll to over 3000$.
Since then, it all began. I could not track my hands at Bodog but as far as I remember I was constantly losing and moved down to around 2000$. Then moved back to the network I've played the most - Ongame. I played a little NL100 but had to move down:
Decided to take up NL50 because I had a roll above 1500$ and it was safe enough. I was expecting an upswing. But:
Understood that Stars offered a reload bonus and changed the enviroment a bit:
All in vain. Finally decided to participate in the Ladbrokes Rake Race and to clear their first deposit bonus. I began well as a matter of fact, 6 buyins up was just unbelievable for me, but then constantly moved back to breakeven and there I began tracking my hands:
In the meanwhile, I've constantly lost money on MTT's without winning a penny. I guess around 300-400$.(so it's not 40 buyins my downswing because I've counted these too).
The result?
I withdrew 240$ some time ago, just to feel that I didn't play for nothing. 2 months and a week of wasted time - just for 240$? Sickening.
My roll in the moment is precisely 486$. Which practically means that without the 400$+ in bonuses I've received - I would be broke by now.
I guess I can't play NL50 anymore because if I tilt I can lose everything and I may remain broke with 3/4 cleared 500$ bonus which would be a real shame.
Anyway, I don't believe I can make money out of poker anymore, but I guess with the Rake Race and the First deposit bonus in ladbrokes, I could be in front in the end of the month.
So that's it. From NL100 to NL20, I still can't get it. I could buy a car with the money I lost. Or clothes, or my love - watch(es). Just sickening.
So what's the future?
I can't quit till the end of January. I will clear my 500$ bonus and get something from the rake race.
I am applying TribunCaesar's rule of aggressive bankroll management - moving up at 15 buyins, going down with 10 buyins.
Which means that I am going to play NL20 now, and IF I reach 600$, going up to the NL40 limit they have there. Probably after I have my 500$ bonus credited, I would have 750$(if I'm not broke ♦) for NL50.
It's disheartening really. I admit that I needed some time to adapt from FR to SH and played nitty postflop on ongame(which resulted in big non showdown losses) but I got used to it and on Ladbrokes I play if not perfect - good poker. And even when I had some leaks - I was not THAT bad to be losing so severely.
Well - I wrote this to share it with you - I hope that when you feel bad about a downswing - you will remember that loser finchybg who moved from NL100 to NL20 and you will feel better that there is someone that was worse off.
Bye for now. I hope I can beat at least NL20. Hah.
Hi finchy,
I'm sorry to hear that you still run so bad without any sign of it getting better 
I currently grind nl 20 in Ladbrokes and I can say the quality of players is really bad. Hope you will recover as fast as you got down.
See you at the tables ... (there is hardy another way since the tables are like 10-15)
Thanks for the reply I saw you today morning.
Anyway, I'm 6 buyins up today in NL20 and have 600$ for NL40.
I was running very well in a tournament but unfortunately lost again. Could not win those 50/50 and 70/30 situations Never had any serious cash in a tournament(except once 300$ and once a EPT Barcelona Qualifier ticket worth 320$) and I strive for it but it's worthless. Lost much money there.
Anyway, today it is fine I hope it continues..
Made 4 buyins on NL40 today and had 750$ to go back to the NL50 level with 15 buyins. Had a real rollercoaster there with a number of big pots ending up like breakeven - but still, the day was very good in comparison to the previous ones
I am quite close to releasing the 500$ bonus which hopefully would make me completely recover on NL50 and I hope for better days. Anyway, I have to put like 2k hands a day in order to climb up the ranking in the rake race as much as I want to. My aim is 1000$ bonus, it is a bit high but I want motivation to play more.
I don't have anything else serious to do, since my 2 most important exams in the university are already gone(with good results as a matter of fact ;)) and basically January is free for me with some little exceptions.
So, with a little more optimism built up from the last 2 days, I hope that things keep running well.
i think thar agressive BRM isnt for you... stick to maybe 30 BI... or if you wanna lose it all stick to the 5BI rule (negreanu)
I just didn't feel like playing on NL20 for so long because that turns me almost an year back. Anyway, I quickly moved back to NL50 using this aggressive BM which otherwise would have taken me a lot more time and I am 2.5 BI up on NL50 since I bounced back. Given that, if everything is by plan, this evening I will clear 500$ bonus which I am going to be credited in the following days, I must be safe at NL50.
Anyway, won't take shots at NL100 with 1500$ for sure This was just for the lower limits.
So, bankroll is almost 1000$ now (got a little bonus from another site, too) with that further 500$ injection coming, so things look a little bit more optimistic. Besides, for 3 days in a row I am in the green and I am happy with my game ♦
I seem to be adapting to the shorthanded format because I make some moves which I wouldn't even consider some time ago but seem to be working well. Besides, the game itself(if not losing severely) is fun because you see many familiar faces at the tables(traffic is not THAT big) and there is the moment of outplaying each other from time to time.
I hope I move above 0, a thing I've strived for for months already ♦
What kind of complete idiocy:
$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
6 players
Converted at weaktight.com
Stacks:
UTG MrKlonkAlot ($42.75)
UTG+1 Rosco2train ($187.00)
CO mycash ($73.63)
BTN A_Lorna_k ($16.07)
SB Hero ($49.34)
BB SAORALBA ($112.21)
Pre-flop: ($0.75, 6 players) Hero is SB J♦ J♠
1 fold, Rosco2train raises to $2, 1 fold, A_Lorna_k calls $2, Hero raises to $8.25, 1 fold, Rosco2train calls $6.25, A_Lorna_k folds
Flop: T♥ 2♣ 7♥ ($19, 2 players)
Hero bets $12, Rosco2train calls $12
Turn: 8♥ ($43, 2 players)
Hero goes all-in $29.34, Rosco2train calls $29.34
River: A♥ ($101.68, 2 players)
Final Pot: $101.68
Hero shows: J♦ J♠
Rosco2train shows: 6♦ 6♥
Rosco2train wins $98.68 ( won +$49.09 )
Hero lost -$49.59
A_Lorna_k lost -$2
Lost 4 quick buyins. I guess I couldn't help it. Anyway, later I'm gonna try out again.
optimism over
I've played very well but still got an immense amount of suckouts and one big cooler for almost 400 BB pot:
$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
5 players
Converted at weaktight.com
Stacks:
UTG PokerRonni ($140.42)
CO CRL ($48.50)
BTN mick777 ($37.38)
SB Lucanozade ($46.50)
BB Hero ($87.14)
Pre-flop: ($0.75, 5 players) Hero is BB 5♠ 4♠
PokerRonni calls $0.50, 2 folds, Lucanozade calls $0.25, Hero checks
Flop: 7♦ 6♠ 9♠ ($1.50, 3 players)
Lucanozade checks, Hero bets $1.25, PokerRonni raises to $2.50, Lucanozade folds, Hero raises to $8.25, PokerRonni raises to $14, Hero calls $5.75
Turn: 3♥ ($29.50, 2 players)
Hero checks, PokerRonni bets $20, Hero goes all-in $73.14, PokerRonni calls $53.14
River: A♣ ($175.78, 2 players)
Final Pot: $175.78
Hero shows: 5♠ 4♠
PokerRonni shows: T♥ 8♣
PokerRonni wins $172.78 ( won +$85.14 )
Lucanozade lost -$0.50
Hero lost -$87.64
Absolutely no way to get away given that he would play any set this way too and besides, I've got the flush draw.
Cleared the 500$ bonus. I still strive for that fuckin upswing.
I got some tips for u!
Stop posting bad beats
get a positive vibe
try to laugh with two outers
play poker with frank sinatra songs (really impossible to tilt if u're listening to him)
30+ downswing with no sign of recovery is not that positive but I do my best.
Unfortunately I put all my negative energy into this blog or in the client's chat but this way I steam it off and keep my nerve in terms of costly tilt conditions.
Will try the Sinatra tip though, thanks
I had one of those downswings myself
u just have to try to get the right vibe when u play
if u have to put your negative energy into something just make sure u don't have that energy because u'll just focus on it and u won't play u'r Agame (not even if u think u will, u won't, subconscious)
good luck!
