day10/90
Thursday. I fucked. I didn't go to mt. I didn't red for 30 minutes. i didn't practice icmizer for 10 minutes. No excesses.
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day 12/90
That week started so awesome i thought i'll achieve every goal in this week. Well something happened in Thursday, i found out that I won't be able to achieve 2 goals and i lost motivation to complete rest. But that's just easy excuse .
failed1. Read articles about session review
failed2. review all notes i made from videos/artickles
failed3. session review for 3,5 hours
failed4. post 7 most troubling hands
done5. Read how to use icmizer
failed6. work 10 minutes a day on analyzing hands in icmizer
failed7. Spend totally 30 hours on poker
failed8. Go to muay thai twice
failed9. Do physical training twice
failed10. loose 1 cm waist (to 96cm)
failed11. Read for half an hour a day
Actually i know why. At least i know one of the reasons. I found out about it today. Before session I looked at my bankroll and at that very moment I felt anger sadness and most of resignation. Day after day seeing my bankroll going up and inevitably coming down to same level i started. It's too much.
Day 13/90
When i read my blog one thing is obvious. It's not a happy blog. The progress isn't going as I hope, but if I go through my history of playing poker it could be predicted. On the other hand writing my thoughts and failures helps me understand better roots of the problems. That's first step to resolve them. The title of my blog wasn't just name i came up in a second, I really meant it. I am weak. I don't want to be.
day 14/90
Ok time to make plan for this week. As i wrote before when i fail to achieve one of the goals during the week i tend to give up reaching for the rest. So i came up with idea to ease the process. I'll divide goal into 3 subsections : poker goals, everyday goals and rest (usually sports/diet).
poker goals
1. do session analysis for 4h (including work with icmizer)
2. analyse myself - how i would adjust if i would play against myself
3. 30h of work
4.read about session review - how to make it efficient
5. post 6 most troubling hands
6. read rest of notes
7. read section fear mgop
8. read section confidence mgop
everyday goals
1. read for half an houhr (6days)
2. post a note in my blog (7days)
3. do a morning routine ( 6 days)
rest goals
1. go to mt
2. do physical training twice
3. loose 1 cm in waist
day 15/90
Writing in the evening truly sucks. Whenever i postpone posting for late hours i have now idea/ no desire to write. Yesterday i was dinging my way through fear section of mental game of poker. My main fear, considering poker, that i won't be able to achieve success and i started towards solving it. i'll write more about it when i finish fear and confidence section.
day 16/90
Huge part of my yesterday's volume was playing same opponent. I din't have hud so I had to base on remembering his actions. Finally after session was over i came with 2 conclusions. Playing without a hud is very difficult skill but it builds recognition skills and awareness so much more than playing with hud. And secondly playing same opponent match after match challenges your mindset more than playing various opponents (obviously in case of loosing). Oh and third thought came to my mind right now: it's harder to stay focused while playing same guy.
day 17/90
I worked hole day then went to mt, got my ass kicked:) Nothing teaches you better to keep your guard tight that few punches in nose.
day 18/90
20% completed. I thought that after almost 3 weeks of posting every day I would see some progress. Unfortunately I don't.
Day 19/20
I didn't worka much as i wanted during weekend. I still have a belief taken from school and studies that Saturday and sunday are free and its hard to motivate myself to get my lazy ass to business. Anyway another weekend passed it was better than previously one but far from optimum. Nevertheless i feel good and curious about incomming week. I lerened few things that might help me significantelly
day 20/90
It's new month and it's time to introduce new ideas. First things first, i resign posting goals for the week. It's obvious that it makes me more harm than it helps. I don't know why is that but it's a fact Instead i'll post focus areas for incoming month and in the end of each week i'll write how i improved in them. These areas are as follow: game technique, mindset and fitness
Game technique - How to improve my non-showdown winnings?
Non-showdown winnings is a gigantic part of poker and it's particularly important in hu games. This is probably my biggest leak, it cost me most money and that's why i focus on it in the first place. Here is my post graph form games in p*
Spoiler
Mindset - How to decrease impact of loosing on my approach to games and volume?
It's very vast subject because there are a lot of reason why loosing influence my mindset so severely but that's why i'll spend whole month on improving that area
Fitness- How to continue loosing weight without setbacks?
It's often like this: i loose 1kg in a week then regain 1kg in next, loose again and regain half kg in 4th etc. etc. I'm getting fitter totally but it is so prolonged in time that my motivation is decreasing. My major leak in this area is eating a lot in the late evening and i'll concentrate on fixing it in a first place
Hi zbiqu23,
I agree about eating late. It really doesn't agree with me either.
Look forward to your next update and good luck at the tables.
Regards
Matt
There's a great wisdom in that movie:)
day 21/90
Ahhh, i slipped yesterday, I forgot to post . As a punishment since i hate jogging I'll run 5km to the end of week (obv.in one session).
There's new thing i introduced, I made spreadsheet containing info about all my sessions no matter how short they would be. It contains goal for the session, time, assessment on attaining goal, estimation of variance and notes about session (f.e with what i mostly struggled, my emotions etc). I hope it would give me better understanding of what is going on in my mind during the session and prepare me better for next ( it's like stretching after training).
Muay thai trainings are getting more interesting every session, we don't "hit air" any more, every exercise is conducted with partners. My strength trainings are getting better as well, especially i'm proud of my front squat which was one of my biggest weaknesses. I started with 30kg (5x8reps) barbell and now 35kg seems way to light for me. In comparison when i'm back squatting i use 60-65kg so there is lot weight to catch up.
Day 22/90
I was working whole day. I almost never do anything productive after work. When I come back it's 6-7pm so it's 6-5 hours to midnight. I could spend some of that time productive. I can start reading poker book or watch training video for starters as lighter stuff to get used to. Anyway i have almost whole weekend for myself so it would be good to achieve high volume.
day 23/90
Not very successful weekend behind me. I had sleepless night and in my first session i lost 7 matches in a row and felt huge discouragement. On the other hand loosing is very important part of my development since I made myself a goal to better handle loses. In mental game there is a helpful sentence about loosing:
"Rather than thinking of money as something that's won or lost each time, consider it to be an investment in your edge that yields a return over time"
It sound very logical but the hard & important part is to really believe in it, put in in your unconscious competence.
Second strategy that can help in that particular issue is answering whether you hate loosing because of money lost or the feeling that comes with defeats.
It's rare that I can answer questions posted in this book with 100% certainty but in this case I'm absolutely convinced that the feeling of loosing plays major role here.
day 24/90
New week surprised me with upswing. Although it seems like running bad influence my mindset more severely (discouragement, sadness etc) than running good. But i think it's quite normal that bad emotions are stronger than good. That's why my volume is really sad in this week. On the other hand it's Wednesday so I still have time to improve it. Back to grinding !!!!:f_mad::f_mad::f_mad::f_mad::f_mad: