Congrats and well done my friend!
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Originally posted by stompy91
Congratulations man !
You deserve it!
Thank you my friend! 
Originally posted by metalmonkey80
Cabin crew is the best! I nearly became part of BA crew many years ago. Tough course!
Congrats also on the impressive start to 2016 too.
Oh look, the master of good looking posts is here! 
Tell me more sir, why was it just "nearly"? 
Thank you for all the good wishes!
//
So yeah. Making that happen is going to shake up my daily life quite a bit. This was really really important for me and I did not choke under pressure. Funny fact - before the selection day my mom had a dream that I came back home a very happy man and gave her a bouquet of flowers. Well, I really came back happy because I got that job, brought flowers with me and these happened to look exactly the same as in her dream! She had shivers all over her body when she saw those flowers because of it. Weird things!
// Poker
Since it was a really busy start of 2016, I suck at volume. Only have close to 15k hands played at the moment. Plenty of room for catching up. Good thing is that I am getting some of the EV bucks back!
Still a lot to get back to be fair... 
To be honest, not happy about my game for the majority of this month. Lots of mistakes. Not used to be saying that, but lady luck is helping me out this time. Quite a lot of autopilot, bad calls, incorrect lines. But I'm learning and it's a long process. Anyway, especially now, there's nothing to worry about. The only thing left is to enjoy the journey.
Just give it a shot if you like this type of music. 
I see BsB taught you how to run in December 
Contgratz on the job! It's something I have considered many times as well! What tests did you have to go through? I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to get there though, when I had a look around some years ago I saw that some airlines had the requirement of 165cm and I am a few damn centimeters shorter at 161 
Lol! Very true. He is such a good coach that I had no other choice but to learn how to run properly. 
Thank you miss. I have only went through the whole selection / recruitment / assessment process so far, which included 4 stages: Introduction, role play, teamwork task and an interview. Selected ones will also have to go through medical checks and a swimming test. They require to swim 50 meters without any aids. Yes I've heard that some airlines only recruit people who are at least X cm in height, but as far as I know (I'm 190 cm myself, so haven't done much research on this particular topic ♦), the airline I applied for (Wizzair) does not have such a requirement, so you would be fine! They are pretty strict regarding tattoos though, so if you have one in an area that could potentially show even a little bit, that could cause problems. Many girls were rejected for this reason the first time I tried to make it. Cheers.
I do have a tatoo, but hopefully not in a place where any customers would be able to see 
(no, nothing too dirty. Lower back) Thanks for giving me the info! I might persue it when the time is right!
It should be fine then. Tattoos in that area do look good on a lady, especially in a particular angle.
// Rant alert
As I'm not in an appropriate state of mind for profitable poker at the moment, I thought I want to let some things out, away from my chest.
Loyal readers of my thread already know that my cash games career has always been like this: 1 day of joy, optimism, etc and 9 days of "I did wrongs" and failures. And it's true. I dare to say that I've went through so many more 'bad' days than 'good' days in my poker career. It was always a struggle. 'Happy' to 'depressed' ratio would be so terribly skewed towards the latter that it's hard to understand why am I playing this game. But I always had a good quality - I kept trying, and trying, and trying.... Because I WANTED it. BAD. Short breaks, long breaks, whatever, I still kept trying, always hoping that maybe THIS time I am going to make it differently. But it kept ending the same way.
So now I am teamed up with one of the very best guys of pokerstrategy. Knowing how good he is as a player and as a coach, seeing that my routines will be so different now, realizing that I never had such a good chance before... I was so confident that after all that struggle THIS will be it, THIS time It's going to be different, I'm going to feel and SEE the progress...
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I am STILL MANAGING TO NOT make it work!
I am so unbelievably disappointed about myself. And now I am asking myself this: What on Earth else has to happen for me to finally be good at this game? I am playing volume I have never played before, for fu*s sake I played 32 straight days when I could! One of the best coaches of this site has my back and does so much more than he has to, puts a ton of effort in me! I work on my game on both mental and practical sides on my own as well and guess what, I still suck at poker!
This is getting harder and harder to swallow. With every single attempt. Am I really that stupid? What is the thing that I am missing?
It just seems like that naturally I cannot comprehend and sustain the required skill set for profitable poker. In other words, I know IN THEORY how should I be playing, how should I be approaching the game, etc. And once in a blue moon, I manage to play like that and that's when my upswings come. But then tomorrow my stupidity comes back and I turn into a talent-less monkey , giving away everything that I've built.
My graphs always looked just like that one above. Unstable roller coasters with terrible instant downswings. To me it's a hint that what is said above is true. I am so tired of doing what I am doing. Giving my full heart to finally change it and then next day come back as a my-old-me idiot and mess everything up. It's just so painful.
I am probably not made for this game. The way my brain is wired and works in general, it just does not seem to click with poker. The more I play the more I realize that I cannot constantly be an emotionless, rational, logical, focused, robotic-type individual, the one that is suited to playing good poker. Then why did I have to fall in love with this game that much?
I am sorry guys if that is not what you wanted to read today, but there were so many doubts in my mind that I had to let them out. I am sure that tomorrow I'll be back at this cycle and everything will be just as it has been until now.
Cheers.
January was a step backwards. It started really well and ended poorly, just like December. The difference is that in December I played more hands and my EV was going up, which was the opposite in January. Overall, a month to forget. Thank God I ran well in all in pots.
In the middle of the month I caught a terrible terrible flu, basically couldn't do anything for a week and even after that I was feeling so weak, had no stamina to play longer sessions. Also my mental state was getting worse and worse with every bad session. Which can be seen from the post above. 
It's not the first time I start a month well and then fall apart. I link it with the fact that at the beginning of every month I am way more focused on what I am doing, and later on just forget that, lose my focus which translates to bad play and f*cked up mental state.
I just couldn't bring my A game to the tables. Like always, mental things are holding me back. So what I did was I sacrificed the volume to book a winning month and wait for my coach to comeback from vacation, because at that point I was way too vulnerable to every loss. Yes, it's a problem, but I am sure it's a smaller one compared to the one which could have happened had I kept on playing and loosing.
Had a session with BsB and immediately felt better. We noticed that I still don't think and pay enough attention to what's happening at the tables and how to exploit people. Therefore my adjustment for now is to reduce the number of tables. So far it's looking like a good call, cause in a way I am forced to focus more and THINK. Yes, volume will take a hit, but in this particular situation the advantages should make up for it. I just have to train to be a consistent thinking player, using all my knowledge to come up with a best decision. Every. Single. Session. Not just once in a blue moon, which has been the case pretty much my whole career.
We'll see what happens in February. I think my adjustments can help to achieve this.
Hi friend,
It's easy to just be emotional, hate yourself, and oversimplify it like 'I'm just not made for this'. But how does that solve the problem?
> Maybe you are self-sabotaging in subtle ways?
> Not staying consistent for long enough? By consistent I don't mean just randomly playing poker, I mean having a clear routine/schedule for studying/playing that you respect no matter what for long periods?
> Maybe after you go on an upswing your brain thinks 'Ok, I can relax now, I can be more careless/spewy for a while'?
> Maybe your unconscious (autopilot) game loses you money and you play it too often? Maybe you can avoid that by dropping down in tables, only playing focused/rested, keeping a close eye on possible self-sabotaging unconscious mental leaks that lose you money. Maybe you can put more work off the tables in to improve your level of autopilot play?
> Maybe you are judging your game too much by your graphs, when 100-200k samples can be irrelevant? A friend who plays HS told me of a period where on 200k hands he ran 15bb/100 and next 200k he was breakeven.
> Maybe your opponents are putting in more work than you?
These are questions I can also direct at myself, because sometimes I resonate with all the feelings you mentioned above.
But I've learned there's nothing to be gained by engaging in self hate for your results, you just understand that there are causes that determine this, and you calmly and rationally look for them and start working on them, whatever their nature. This way, you start to understand and accept yourself more, which helps in all areas of life.
Good luck
*edit: oh, you posted while I was writing my post ha*
Hey man, I am very happy to see you back here! 
Sick post!
Originally posted by M1rCea
> Maybe you are self-sabotaging in subtle ways? Probably, yes!
> Not staying consistent for long enough? By consistent I don't mean just randomly playing poker, I mean having a clear routine/schedule for studying/playing that you respect no matter what for long periods? My main problem regarding inconsistency is my mental game. How to play as best as I can session after session, week after week, month after month.
> Maybe after you go on an upswing your brain thinks 'Ok, I can relax now, I can be more careless/spewy for a while'? Happens, yes.
> Maybe your unconscious (autopilot) game loses you money and you play it too often? Definitely! Maybe you can avoid that by dropping down in tables, only playing focused/rested, keeping a close eye on possible self-sabotaging unconscious mental leaks that lose you money. Maybe you can put more work off the tables in to improve your level of autopilot play? Already in progress!
> Maybe you are judging your game too much by your graphs, when 100-200k samples can be irrelevant? A friend who plays HS told me of a period where on 200k hands he ran 15bb/100 and next 200k he was breakeven. Also true.
> Maybe your opponents are putting in more work than you? It's hard to tell, but again, could be the case.These are questions I can also direct at myself, because sometimes I resonate with all the feelings you mentioned above.
But I've learned there's nothing to be gained by engaging in self hate for your results, you just understand that there are causes that determine this, and you calmly and rationally look for them and start working on them, whatever their nature. This way, you start to understand and accept yourself more, which helps in all areas of life.Good luck
*edit: oh, you posted while I was writing my post ha*
Yeah, quite a coincidence for us to post at the same time. Good minds think alike!
It's crazy how many of my possible problems you picked up on. This will definitely help me in trying to come up with decisions how to finally be a different player. Again, you are so right that there's nothing to be gained by bashing yourself, but sometimes I become so pi*sed about myself that it's no longer possible to think clearly and logically, then it just kind of feels good to self hate. At least I learned to insta quit all my tables when I reach this point.
It seems like there's a mountain to climb in order for me to fix every mental leak, but your post is really a great reminder of everything because every point you made is literally an area I should improve on. Especially the 4th point about playing my autopilot game, which is definitely loosing me money.
Good job man, thank you very much!
yes, you are right about volume and focus....
about mental game i made similar mistakes in the past , i played only when i was in good mental health and my A game got better but my C game did not evolve.
This improved when i started to play 2k hands per day no matter if i win or lose.
Now i moved up at 50nl and got back into that previous problem... will fix it by every day playing a bit more and more
gl and lets bring the volume up!
Hey man, it's nice to see your progress! Gl to you yourself, let's do this.
//
Had to move down back to 25nl. Not because of bankroll issues, but because my confidence had taken another hit.
This kind of suggested me that it's time to put in more work off the tables than at them. Resubscribed to RIO, actively watched some videos and... For the first time in a long, long time two days ago I got that eyes-opening A-HA moment. I think I am now finally starting to understand how I should approach poker, tables and my opponents to play more consistent profitable poker. If I can keep it up and don't slip back to my old habits, a turnaround is not that far away I believe! All of a sudden I don't hate every reg out there, my lines got more solid, levels of frustration during sessions are way lower. It's been happening for two days only so way too early to celebrate. But these are good signs I believe.
Didn't have such a shake up in my mind and approach to the tables for very long though, so really good to feel that something is happening, at least in my mind. Cause what I was doing before got me nowhere for the past 4 years if we talk about cash games.
Will stay at 25 for a while to see if I can sustain the same approach. If that's the case, I'll get back at 50 this month and try again. There's a feeling in me that after so many struggles and disappointments for both me and my blog readers, some success is not that far away.
Hey yeah, glad that I can be of help. Sometimes I think my goal is to crush life, while giving ppl on the same (slow and narrow) path pointers based on my experience.
There seems to be a subset of ppl going through the same struggles I am, who have very high potential, but in a real struggle of really applying themselves thoroughly and reach the success they desire, often feeling like they underachieve.
I think we are in the same boat, that's why it feels like 'I know ur issues so well'. Because they are mine as well. I want to prove that even though one comes from such a background, even though maybe with a lot more difficulty than others, he can still achieve his potential and live a fulfilling life.
Respect for not getting too discouraged. Good to see that you feel you're making progress, just keep pushing, whenever you fall off get back on as fast as possible, and let's always move forward. I am here if you need any further insight / want to discuss anything.
Daniel
Indeed man. There seems to be 2 types of people - ones, who succeed relatively fast and the other ones, who are not as successful by nature and maybe don't have all the required qualities for success inherited / installed to them in their childhood. The latter group has to acquire everything by themselves and this is why it naturally takes longer.
I wrote this many times in this thread, but for the sake of context, I'll repeat it once more - for me, it (good things, success, etc) never came fast. Relatively late compared to others actually, but when it did, often it was also more significant. To finally start enjoying some success in life - social status, career options, girls, sex, you name it - I really had to change myself a LOT. In my first years of university, when I moved out from my small town to the city, these years opened me eyes up. This was the time I realized that there's TONS of things to do to, basically, fix myself. Attitude towards life, success, confidence, social skills, girls and most importantly myself all had to change. Today I am quite proud for the development I did and people who know me for a long time/saw me going through this prove it. But this process is, of course, never ending.
I think this relates to my poker journey a lot. In relative terms, I think now I'm in my studying years - the time you realize how much you have to change to achieve your desires. So still a long way to go.
It's really great to have fellow 'students' like you Daniel, who are going down the same road. Maybe slightly in front, but the view is still the same. Thank you for the support. Respect for what you're doing, you are a great example to many.
February was shite. Down 120 euro after rakeback, so this means my first losing month since November.
Slow start of 2016 for me, indeed.
In the past week I did a lot of off-table work. Wrote down my main problems on the sheet of paper, drawn key points how to address them (I find it more effective to do it by hand instead of using Word for example). I have that paper in front of me every time I play now, so it helps me not to slip back to my old bad habits. Also played around with equilab (estimation of equties, etc), watched videos on RIO which helped me to improve my in-game thought process, re-adjusted my ranges a bit and things picked up a bit.
March is the month I was born in (bday in two days, woooo 
) and I hope to do better than up until now. About time to get something going. All that off-table work brought back my confidence somewhat and this is really motivating.
The fight goes on.
March was similiar to February, just with a bit happier ending.
Once more, not the easiest month psychologically. All those hopes about things finally turning around in the end of February... Then boom, first 5k hands of March and I find myself down another 10 buyins. But I'm happy about the character shown to carry on and poker gods decided that I deserve at least to climb back up in the green, which is nice of them.
So yeah, the fact is that I am improving way slower than expected. Other students of BsB do better, advance faster, etc. And me... I am still learning about myself. I am learning to accept the fact it takes long for me to get the grasp of BsB's concepts. Before joining BsB I mistakenly assumed I would be a fast learner and the results would come quickly. Struggling to this day, of course, made me realize how wrong I was, caused quite a lot of mental pain in the process and hurt my ego as well as self confidence. But, as a very competitive person as I am by nature, you just HAVE to accept that (or at least try to!) if you like your sanity. Otherwise it's too mentally exhausting.
The whole approach has to change from:
Oh look, he's up this much this month and he has moved up to 100nl from 10nl in 2 months and I am failing struggling to move up from 25nl for half a year and suck at this game even though I am getting coached by one of the best fml I'm so stupid talentless retard, what a waste of time am I
to:
Ok, I accept that I am a slow learner and it takes a longer than usual time for me to transform into a winning player. I have a hard time getting rid of my old bad habits which are deeply rooted into me, but this is a long journey and with constant effort I can still make it. This will be one hell of a story to tell when I finally succeed and who cares about what others think, what they do and how fast they move up. This is my story and I'll make it epic in the end.
Let's see what April has in store.
Peace.
Originally posted by Pkrpains
Let's see what April has in store.
… And it’s been another eventful month.
Basically, it consisted of two very, very different parts. The first half of the month continued my trend of 2016 so far, which can only be described as a struggle. I found a way to lose again. And never before did I feel THAT bad at the tables. Basically I was approaching a threshold of how much negativity I can take, trying to do something that is meant to be fun. Such was the desperation and disappointment in myself, feeling of hopeless-ness that playing poker was becoming just like stepping to hell. I realized I couldn’t keep everything inside of me and decided to reach out to a few of my poker buddies. Vented out to them (thank you once again, Sandy, Cristi, Hai, Danny for being there when I needed) and found some inner spirit to carry on.
At that moment my month looked like this.
I sat down, asked myself, how do I carry on and what do I change to turn this around? Came up with a couple of steps and and decided to try again.
Then something changed. Variance decided to let me enjoy some of its’ bright side. Somehow I started to feel comfortable at the tables. Reduced the amount of mistakes made. Things kind of came together for me. I don’t know, it’s just hard to explain. To be honest, I can’t tell for sure how but I just started to play better poker in general. Obviously I’ve been working on my game in the meantime, so maybe the results of that came into action. Or maybe my little adjustments to the approach of the game made all the difference. All in all, poker got fun again:
To sum April up:
Positives:
• Happy about volume. 30k hands of regular table action only, having had to take 8 days off from poker.
• Spirit. Proud of myself to keep crawling forward when I was basically losing my sanity.
• Realized ways to improve my game and found my way back to winning and playing decently well.
• A solid comeback in both monetary results and confidence.
Negatives:
• Not happy that my EV is only breaking even.
Such success in the 2nd half of the month also gave me a green light to try 50NL again. It will be another challenge. Goal is to have 2bb EV/100 at the end of the month, having played not less than 30k hands.
For me it’s going to be a real challenge. In a way I’ve got a phobia for 50nl, just can’t run well at this stake. Never ever moved out of it in my entire poker career. At least I play over-rolled. But… I really, really don’t want to move down to 25nl again.
Let's see what I can do!
nice, gl w/ NL50!
funny how confidence can swing up and down with our poker swings
Originally posted by M1rCea
nice, gl w/ NL50!
Mr. Daniel brought us some some good luck! ♠_drink:
// May review
Best month since joining BsB. Finally I've delivered something that can be called decent results. Maybe I am not that hopeless after all.
Really happy about the way I handled moving back up to 50NL. Sustained good form which has carried over since 2nd half of April. Since then, things look like this:
10bb/100 last 30k hands. 
Obviously a neat upswing, but I won't get carried away by it. It just feels really, really sweet because I had to overcome some truly tough times to get it and now it feels like an achievement earned by spirit and character. There is a good feeling about my game going on at the moment, too. Playing more solid, getting involved in less bad spots, applying stuff I've recently learnt quite well, not overdoing it. Nice to run above EV for once as well. I still find myself making some bad calls / taking non optimal lines though, so even when running this good, there is room for improvement and I still could have done better.
Volume is pretty poor, but I had LOTS of thing to do in real life. And this is why...
// June preview
On 5th of June I am leaving to Budapest, Hungary and will be staying there for 5 weeks. I am about to start my cabin crew courses there. From what I already know, it's going to be INTENSE! Courses are going to take 6 days a week, 8 hours a day at least. For 5 whole weeks. I think I am about to remember what a tough exam session feels like.
To prepare for this, I had to get a lot of stuff done. Got through strict medicals (they say I could be a pilot, so that's great news :D), plenty of papers to clear, and just getting ready for leaving in general which includes shopping, planning, etc.
At first glance, it's not going to be easy to implement poker into my daily routine while being there. Not sure if my mental capacity is big enough to cope with lots and lots of new things to learn + decent volume of poker. For sure I am going to try to play at least some, in the evenings probably, just not to get too rusty. But I have absolutely no idea how many hands I can expect to play.
So yeah, quite a big change of scene is upon me. I am excited. Many new people to meet, new friends to make, new skills to acquire, new places to see, new things to learn. Going to get thrown far away out of my comfort zone and this is never, ever a bad thing. That's how we develop after all. 