Came back almost week ago from USA. It's been longest vacations in last 3 years. I didn't play for almost a month. At the beggining all went quite okeish. Some regs nl400+ stopped giving me their tables and start hunting me. Well It's a dirty business isn't it? Maybe that's the reason why they are playing higher, they are more observant and they go to punish for any weakness. I was running quite okeish, lately my ass is getting rapped, it's okey, it happens, variance, part of world I chose, most funny mainly from fish. Today was thinking about quiting session, after just 50min, after yesterday and two days ago I really wanted but couldn't. My goals are on line.
I got beaten opponent after opponent. I felt it all, frustration, aggression, helplessness, fear, senselessness, you name it. I had my goals, they were at stake so it's normal. I knew I have to turn them into war plan. It's either me or them so it's war. I am not going to give up on my goals, so there is going to be blood. Especially after USA I understand myself a bit better. I know more what I want from my life, I know more what I am willing to sacrifice and my priorities changed a bit, to be more exact they are the same, but some of them are stronger than they used to be. Enough with my excuses. As I said, there will be blood and I need a war plan.
USA trip was FUCKING AWESOME. Never saw power of money that clearly. My brain was never that blown out. I gained soo much respect for Rockefeler or Carnegie since I am learned more about them, when I saw their empire... I knew they were a head of their's time. Really brilliant minds.
I was writing this almost week ago. Then I made one HUGE, HUGE mistake. I screamed something like, 'it's all you've got, you stupid count world? Gimme all you have, try to break me' Do NOT EVER SAY THIS BS. It was stupid to say that because it looked like challenge for world.... Anyway I am back two weeks now since I came back form America I am getting prepared for something great and huge, I don't know what yet but I am getting prepared for really hardcore stuff. For last two weeks:
I am on downswing (I guess) losing a lot of small / big pots, got busto at three poker rooms in last two weeks. (In last year I got bust once....)
Someone broke at my poker room, dump hunt all my money, not sure how much I've lost around 2-3k Euro I guess
Relationship with my female best friend is probably over, we knew each other for like 8 years. I could count on her, and she had my support as well. I guess it's over.
Someone stole 500 euro from my wallet... needed to block my credit cards. I guess I need to change ID and Driving license as well.... Everything happened at the date....
Had two huge, huge fights with my GF.
Yesterday my ipad that was my reminder from Columbia went blank and didn't work.
Three days ago my iphone that is bran new reminder from USA fucked up and I need to charge it twice daily and once at night, otherwise battery is empty...
Some shit happens to the area near my knee and today I wasn't able to make right squats because I felt pain in a weird way....
Car had 8 technical issues that has to be fixed... Least of worry but still.
Other than that everything is awesome. I know I am getting tested for something big. Something bigger than I am, it's rarely happen that as much stuff happens all at once in like 2 weeks period. I am getting challenged to rise to challenge. I need to grow to thrive, it's gonna be brutal but it's part of the life I chose. I chose all of those stuff. I've learned some lessons I believe I am ready for what is coming on. I am gonna work hard as fuck. I am gonna do everything to get tougher and better. This week I am gonna make fucking war plan. When the shit is coming I have to be prepared. Yesterday when I realized that my money was stolen I felt like I got punch in a belly, I felt like a crying for a moment. Then I felt calm in a weird way. I know I am gonna handle that shit, I am ready for everything, I am preparing for worse and I am praying for best.
Funny thing happened yesterday, I thought for a moment that there's a plenty of reasons for feeling pity, then angry and frustrate voice in my head screamed: 'don't you even dare you fucking count, you have to be thought and you gotta be allright, you rise to the challenge plenty of times, this time will be no different, each time you wasted a lot of time and energy on feeling pitty rather than moving your lazy ass and getting shit done, don't you dare, learn your fucking lesson once for all'. Anyway I thought I have to write some stuff, felt need for doing it for whatever reason. I still know that most people are waiting for some photos and trip report so here we go:
Before we even went to USA, our trip become huge mess. Everything was booked before (no return option), we had cheap flying tickets, literally few hours before bus I've heard that flying tickets are done, we won't make it. We can't go there. Company sold more tickets that they had, therefore GTFO. I had very little time to find something out and it ended up paying double for flight compared to what we planned... I'll skip New York City for now and jump right to the middle of our trip, Miami Beach. Before we went to USA, I phoned renting company to ask for rent with debit card (we don't own credit card, because we never needed it) I told them I am from Europe, is my debit card or cash is enough, they checked some data and said as long as you over 25 all is fine.
We went to Miami it ended up that our card didn't work, we couldn't rent a car (and we had a trip to Key West planned and booked) all what we've heard was: "I am sorry for you, lady made a mistake, you are from Europe, your card doesn't work with us", "But I called call center, your office, you are the one who made a mistake so try something out", "I am so sorry, I can not do anything, she just made a mistake I hope you understand." 4-5 hours latter and few hundred $$ latter we made it, we rented a card, however it took too much time and we didn't have enough time. I've made a surprise and booked a Jacht for a night with sunset and sunrise at the sea at Key West. Idea was awesome it would look awesome and would be awesome, the only problem was that we were there at 1 at night and it was too late to wake up for even sunrise.... Anyway the place was awesome, sleeping at Jacht at the sea is still awesome, we loved it.
Unfortunately some photos are missing.... Will need to see what happens but variance is grinding! Have to go to work on my game, need to be extremely prepared on every single session, especially now.
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