[Closed] My Trip among the Stars; a 12 month chronicle through SnGs, now concluded

Hey,

Originally posted by Atoks

[...]

When deciding if u want to go all in for all of ur chips or not u should be aware of the fact that the chips u would gain are worth less than the chips u would lose. This is due to several factors. But on the other hand if u win u still have a shot at the 50% prize pool which is about five times what u bought in for.

[...]

I'm not sure if you are aware of this, but I simply have to correct you because some readers might get confused!
This is only the fact in "special" situations, not always. The best example would be the first hand of a sng.

Let's do some math. Those of you who are not interested, skip this post!

9 players
everyone has 2000 chips

each players equity is 0.1111

you are the big blind (20)
everyone folds to the SB
SB pushes (yeah, he is a donkey!)

We don't care about possible hands now!

now you have to options resulting in 3 ways.

Fold:

your stack is now 1980
SB's stack is now 2020

your equity: 0.1101
equity: 0.1121

Call and Loose:

your eqiuity = 0

Call and Win:

your stack is now 4000
SB get's what he deserves

your equity: 0.2028
equity of the others: 0.1139

Back to your two options:

equity of a fold is -0.001
equity of a call when you assume you throw a coin:

(%win) * ($win) - (%loose) * ($loose)
0.5 * 0.2028 - 0.5 * 0

= 0.1014

0.1111 > 0.1014 (difference of 0.0097 ~ -1%)

the reason for this is that the chips you might gain are worth less than those you already have (as you said). in heads up situations $EV = chipEV, but i think you cannot say that this is generally the case.

just my 2 cents...
(let me know if I'm wrong!!!)

this could start an interesting discussion!
you see i'm missing poker... my silver status will turn to bronze next week...

Originally posted by Atoks

[...]

At cash games whenever u go in for all of ur chips u are in for their exact value. That means u can either win 100$ with AA or lose 100$ with AA (if u play BSS NL100 ). This is one of the reasons why SnGs are more poker player friendly (from my personal experience!). Of course on the other hand SnG downswings last longer because it is not that easy to win on a regular basis (by wining I mean actually finishing first).

[...]

I don't think that sngs are more poker-player-friendly than cashgame. you need more dicipline in cashgames imo.
The point about cashgame is that the math behind it is much easier!!
there is no chipEV and payout structure.

sorry for the long post...

Originally posted by Atoks

Originally posted by NickParkes
Hey Atoks...

A lot of good points made... agree with you 100%... I am always open to discussing theory etc... so let me know...

Yeah I'd be very much interested in discussing SnG and MTT stuff with u Nick! Look me up on skype: grebrod

Hope to hear from u soon!

Tried looking you up but couldn't get a hit... search for me if you get the chance username: twfitw

Don't worry about the long post mate, this blog is full of em If the readers don't appreciate that, well that's their problem

I agree completely with what u wrote, I also like the example u used. It ilustrates several points nicely. The reason I'm not going into too much detail is well ... this is pretty much SnG gold. Those who will figure out the reasons why this is so and manage to apply it in their game will have an even bigger edge over their oponnents It is exactly this concept that is explained so well in the book Kill Everyone. So let's not do all of the readers work and at least make them look for the book or some other tool that explains these concepts equally well

I also agree with the fact that this factor dissappears in heads-up. This is exactly why pushing on the bubble hurts so much ... whenever u do and the guy behind u calls, it is in fact the other two guys who don't act in the hand at all who profit the most out of it. For no work they gain a solid part of the prize. And still we face so many idiotic calls it's not even funny anymore. While the players understanding these concepts do in fact have a much bigger edge, it does not give the a magic-win-em-all ability wand. No sir, if anything it makes it hurt even more when it back-fires

On the SnG vs. Cash games topic: I'm not sure if the math is simpler but I'm sure even fewer people pay attention to it. There is at least one factor that hardly anyone acknowledges when it comes to SnG math and it's pretty obvious most players ignore some others as well. While the cash game does indeed need more discipline when u master it, the SnG mostly needs patience once u master them. For me it is easier to be patient than disciplined Maybe that's why I'm achieving greater statistical success at SnGs

Thanks for the post Flows, it gives this blog a whole lot of credibility ♦ I hope u get back to poker soon and I wish u lots and lots of luck with ur RL challanges!

'lo everyone

it's been a few days since I've last updated and they have been very interesting days indeed! The most important thing is that NickParkes and myself have begun discussing poker on a dailly basis (mostly MTTs but as long as the brain is focused on the game that is all that matters). Also joining us for a few very valuable reviewing sessions was Flows. After the three of us put "our heads together" so to speak, I've realized that there are some spots where I'm too aggressive and others where I am not aggressive enough. Thanks to Flows, who spotted this leak in my game, I've slowly built my confidence back up and began to drive the passiveness out of my game again.

U see, it would seem the recent downer I've had left certain consequences. Whenever I would get to the bubble I would shut down and just try to get ITM with the minimum of fuss. Due to this I was losing out on a lot of money, because while others were actively trying to build I was actively trying to survive. This probably made me an easy target to bully. I'm reasonably sure this has considerably contributed to my recent bad run. This was depressing news. I've always considered myself to be psychologically strong and able to keep on going at my maximum regardless of what I was facing. It would seem this has not been so and that I am still playing with "scared money."

I've noticed good players calling with a range as wide as any K when they are sure the SB or BU was pushing any2 into them. While it seems spewy and mostly isn't recommended there are spots where a move like this is good. I have decided to make defending my BB witha wider range part of my game. I will do this because I want to lose the feeling that I am risking my money when pushing and gain the feeling I am protecting my money by not giving people the chance to win my BB easily. As Flows put it once: time to make a few educational calls!

Psychology plays a big part in poker. A poker player should never ignore reasons for why he made this or that move. I guess we can all be surprised, how much emotion motivates our play and effects our performance. So the message of this entry is: forget everything else while playing poker, focus on the situation and ALWAYS give ur best! Don't shy away from something because u are affraid of taking a risk.

Funny tho, how understanding the game and situations in it isn't everything. Worries and threats can just as easily puncture ur bankroll as poor knowledge. With this in mind, I wish u all and myself as well, the best of luck and a clear focused head at the tables! Cya next time.

gl

Originally posted by fun101rockets
gl

Thanks!

Well just as things seemed to pick up they went back down crashing again. After a mini-rise with 20BI up, it turned south again and put me back where I was. Combined with some serious MTT misery (keep on losing the key hands) my BR is pretty much stagnant for the whole month of August. Some of it was my fault, some of it the dealers and some of it noones but end of the month, this just won't do.

I'm not really sure what else I can change in my game. I've been collecting notes like mad, reduced my tables to 6 whenever I play the 16$ turbos, even used up time banks in order to seriously figure out what the best decision for me was. I did a lot of analysis on my own right after the sessions (when the memory of the reasoning is still super fresh) and there haven't been any serious errors. I pushed any2 when I felt there was a solid chance the defender would fold, I folded any2 whenever I felt the defender was loose/donkish with his calls, I even made a few very nice Khigh calls! Oh how I long for the days of steady increase in my bankroll ...

Looking back on all of those spots I guess I can't help but feel slightly cheated. There have been so many AK (me) vs AQ (other player) confrontations that I have lost as well as higher pair vs lower pair or even when I was dominating! The river has not been my friend at all recently. This barren stretch has now been going for 1K SnGs and considering I have played just under 3K SnGs on Stars in total it's pretty hard to take. My stress level is higher and I've resorted to cursing and shouting in disbelief more again. Hopefully I won't give myself a heart-attack lol. But even in such uninspiring times there are silver linings ...

I've never had a bankroll this strong after taking a solid month of beating from the dealer. I'm still comfortably stacked for the 16s. I've also never had as much knowledge or experience of the game as now. The fact that I get to do some really quality review sessions with NickParkes and Flows played a huge part in my improving the game as well. So despite the bankroll not moving upwards the progress can be felt. Now what I really desire is a solid run of 200+ SnGs of steady rise so I get my confidence and belief back. It's kind of hard to have fun and feel good about pushing AI when u've had this many harsh results.

But since the cards at poker arrive completely at random and since other players (some even less skilled than me) are making enviable profits, I'm absolutely sure the same will come for me. In short I expect to go on a massive upswing shortly. Might sound pretentious but hey ... what goes down must go up If there's quality effort behind the work of course.

So here's to the best of fortunes to me! And of course everyone else But considering how the cards have been runing against me recently I'm entitled to be a bit selfish this time Cya laters folx!

I know... why don't you play 45 man SNGs and run super hot??? oh wait...

So it's been a few days ...

mostly painful and dejected days of doing my best to play the A game (and A++ game) only to end up getting shot down by the dealer. Poker is fun it really is. I started out playing it because of the thrill I get whenever I would outplay an oponnent and get their money. Well now whenever I do get my chips in the middle I'm mostly quivering in my chair like a scared little mouse hoping the board will be good to me. U wouldn't believe how often in a row u can lose with a dominating hand or a higher pair thanks to the lovely mister dealer.

My 16$ downswing has ravaged my BR and my ROI. If u'd look up my stats u'd think I'm just another clueless donk throwing my money around like it's going out of fashion. I'm still a positive player but I'm close to B/E on the 16$s. I still have a very solid stack tho and thankfully my skill does in fact help me maintain a bankroll of over 100BIs (for the 16$ game) by playing the 45man SnGs. Those did seem to be a cake-walk at first (made over 200$ playing the 6.50s in a single session) but there are quite a few solid players who will make good calls whenever the opportunity for that presents itself. So it's not all just fun and games on the MTT SnGs either.

Yesterday I played out 4 sets of 6 16$ SnGs, managed to finish 2nd 7times and 3rd once and that session cost me over 100$. Sick isn't it. The only thing for me to do however is to continue to improve and prepare for the massive massive upswing that will become my reality in a few days time (or maybe more than a few days :P).

I've also been MTTing quite a bit. I've had one deep run and quite a few medium ones but I've yet to win the key hand that would push me all the way among the main contenders (always find myself pushing JJ vs AK or QQ into KK, or maybe the guy 3bets 65s PF and flops a straight....). In all honesty the dealer isn't all that kind to me in MTTs either, I'm actually losing money in those atm. But the variance is even bigger in MTTs than SnGs so it might take a day or two longer for me to get my big win. It's a coming tho ... I can feel it in my bones! So I'm deffinately going to play more and more MTTs in the future and put my focus on them completely in the future. They'r awfuly fun ♦ Take a lot of time tho ....

So yeah ... life is good just the poker isn't that hawt ... but it'll turn, what went down will go back up again! My faith is my shield it says in the bible ... Hopefully it'll also bring me back my wining touch Later folx, be well!

Hey all,

been playing a bit more recently but still not putting in the kind of volume I would like to. I've mainly focused myself on the 45man SnGs recently with a few 180mans and regular MTTs. I've won a few of the 45mans and came close to wining a 180man as well (got AQo in against a raiser who called my AI reraise with KQo and sucked out a straight ♠ wasn't HU tho but it was a very important hand to win:( ). I'm having a lot of fun playing these games and I've had a lot of success in them as well. It seems likely that I will stick to these MTTs for some time to come. The opposition isn't as good as in the 9man SnGs and most of the regulars are also a lot more passive than they should be. So all in all I'm enjoying a very nice run on the MTT SnGs.

Looking back a bit more, it's been a very stressful period. I think I'm just about breakeven on the 16$ SnGs, tho it's not impossible that I've actually managed to work up a loss (still haven't invested in HEM ...). For those of u thinking about going pro: there is a great chance that u will have prolonged periods of negative growth! While I'm sure many of u considered this, mostly one doesn't realize the effect this can have. I've actually dealt with idea of looking at alternative ways of income. However thankfully I've managed to work up a bit of a cash reserve in the previous months so a downswing isn't as much of a problem for me. Will have to increase those funds too I think ... statistics says that the bigger the sample, the longer the downswings/upswings.

The point is this: U can't go pro expecting u'll be having a regular income every month. It just doesn't work that way (sadly). I feel many people fail to see or just completely ignore this fact (u decide which is worse). But the poker truth hidden in all the math and presented with very many samples speaks for itself: it is possible to go on for quite a while without making money. This will obviously have a serious effect on ur attitude toward the game and also life. Make no mistake, there is a lot of pressure to deal with when one is trying to make a living out of poker. Later on things might chance once u start playing and wining in games that offer bigger prizes but a career in poker starts with a lot of effort, strain and pressure both on ur wallet and ur psyche.

I hope anyone who was/is/will be thinking about a professional career and reads this will give serious thought to these considerations. It isn't easy to set urself up with meaningful and regular income at poker. Much less with all those millions we all dream of. It will take time, it will take effort, it will be very very difficult. If even for a second u feel u can not deal with strains like these, please treat poker as a fun way to pass some time and do not build ur expectations about the money that could be won at poker. Yes some of the people win millions but if u are starting from scratch (or thereabouts) the road to that will more than likely be long and arduous.

GL to you all and cya next time

Wise words Obi Wan... To keep playing solid poker for long periods of time while expecting a positive outcome and not achieving that has so many complex outcomes... Have you ever noticed the triangle... Good Mindset -> having fun -> making money -> a good mindset and so on....

Now when people try to make a living from poker and experience prolonged breakeven stretches or downswings the mindset breaks down, you stop having fun and stop making money?? Once somebody can find a balance there is potential despite all the other challenges... I think it comes down to being able to challenge yourself to stop when you aren't emjoying it, and come back when you are hungry! and now I am going to take some of my own advice

Howdy

No I haven't moved to Texas but I am trying to be moderately creative when saying hello on my blog here So I guess u can tell by the first two smilies that I'm in a better mood than I have been recently. If u did in fact assume that than congrats, u just picked up a read on me (Hopefully only about how tight/relaxed the next blog entry will be and not for live poker play I plan to grin my way through live games anyway ♦ )

Anyways I'm still sticking to the 45mans and boy are they ever swingy. I've had a terrible 3 day -50BI run which left me seething and made me watch a few videos from the PS video section. I particularly enjoyed what Jonathan Little's vids had to offer and the moment I began to implement a few things I saw I won 5 45mans out of about 24. Which is quite awesome it has to be said. So I almost fixed my downswing in some 3hrs of poker. But let's be fair, I've had quite a bit of luck (won key hands when I was dominated twice and there were hardly any suckouts ♦ YES I CONSIDER THAT TO BE LUCKY NOWADAYS I guess that's just sad ... but u should've seen my recent streak of god-awful boards the dealer handed out). But I won't complain, because I really feel I played better then before I watched them vids. The field is begining to look tougher then it did when I first started to play the 45mans. I've noticed a few really good poker players enter these and consequently I've also seen a few very good calls. On average tho I feel I have a bit of an edge over other players.

I've also done a bit of research on how to increase my ability to have a clear head while playing poker and possibly develop my ability to focus better. I've actually come over this technique in Kill Everyone, it's called Brain Synchronization. I recommend looking into this to anyone who's wondering what they could try in order to increase their mental output. There are sadly no quality links to which I could direct u too (not sure if it's allowed anyway) but search engines are ur friend and I'm sure u'll be able to find useful info. Don't ask me how well it works because I'm not really sure about it, however I have to admit that it does help me relax and keep the million thoughts that try to distract me while I play poker well away. I've been using it for only a couple of days now but I have to admit, I do feel good about the thing (then again it could just be a placebo but who cares really ).

Recently I have had a nice run in the 3+0.30$ 50k$ guaranteed tournament, managed to finish 26th. However due to Nick and Flo being moderately busy we haven't yet got round to analysing it so I can't post the super-interesting hands that I've had in it. Expect a few bits from that tho, was super fun, except for the last hour or so when I was so completely tired that I couldn't watch at the screen any more and busted out with a rather poor move. Still the experience was good and I will soon try to win an online poker tournament with a big cash prize. I feel I got the knowledge and the patience, just need to add a bit of stamina so I can deal with the 8+hr single table grind. Also they'r awfuly fun ♦

Ok enough jibber-jabber for now, gonna go grab a bite to eat and then try to make even more of my hot run today ... hopefully I won't stop till I've completely regained the money I lost recently
Wish u all a great week and cya around!

Another update, hope it'll be a short one ...

I've been thinking about the things have gone over the past few months for about an hour now. Just now I've also re-read the blog and I've noticed that some of the things I wanted to do have been done but there are a few that I haven't completed yet. I really need to put up a set of goals for myself which I will have to follow regularly. I guess that got pushed back because of the way the 16$ 9man turbo SnGs have been treating me before I finally switched to 12$ 45man turbo SnGs. After going over the blog I realized that the start I had was ... phenomenal. Even after I managed to move up the run I had was spectacular, in some way the money I earned exceeded my expectation and so my expectation got inflated also. The reason I'm writting about this is that I'm not really sure how I should continue. Should I go back to the 16$9mans or stick to the 45man SnGs?

I've had an awesome run today on the 45mans. I almost beat my personal record for how much money I managed to make in a day playing poker. This made me realize one very key advantage that SnGs have over cash game: U make money very fast at SnGs, but u lose it slowly and over long periods. This becomes even more true when u play MTT SnGs. I realized now that I got carried away this summer and all I saw was $$$$$ ... thankfully things turned around once Flows offered to do more analysing sessions and since Nick's joined in I feel the progress in my game has been exponential. Be it in STTs or MTTs (I've really honed in my calling and resteal ranges). While this last part is excellent news, I'm worried about getting carried away again. I need to figure out what the best way to deal with this is. Don't get me wrong, one has to aim high when it comes to setting and achieving goals but at the same time things will never go smoothly.

I'm not really sure what I'm getting at here. Hopefully something that will help me progress as a poker player. Working on the game and skill is all good and well but I don't think I was completely prepared for the road to poker stardom ... not that anyone can be but still ... keep a level head folx ... I'll return to this some other day when I manage to get this jumble of thoughts in some coherent order ...

Hey it wasn't all that short was it Why am I not surprised ... gl peeps!

I'm going to try to pick up where I left off this morning,

obviously losing money at poker is terrible, hell losing money anywhere sux bigtime. When we do manage to lose or waste the money it feels pretty awful and usually we dwell on it for quite some time. Often we put pressure on ourselves because we failed. Most often that pressure is certain types of negative emotion like anger, frustration, a feeling that there is nothing we can do about the bad things that happen to us ... and others as well. So we deal with this in whatever way suits us. I feel even tilting can help overcome these feelings (sometimes u just gotta go wild... just make sure u do that on limits far lower than the ones ur playing! don't hurt ur banrkoll when tilting!). All of this is perfectly understandable yeah? Well here comes the catch.

I've been thinking about what happens when we win money (like say ur having a great run and ur earning over 5BI every day for 2-4weeks). Life is great all of a sudden, one begins to feel pretty much invincible and our perspective on poker changes instantly (it's the same in real life when u think about it ... have a good run at work, get good results at sports ...). It's a great feeling and the more time u devote to poker the more u will feel the positive emotions going through u, even if ur not trying to build a career in poker for urself. I see this as a problem. Because when I go on a hot run I instantly forget about every bad beat and suckout I was handed only a few days ago. Yeah I always want to win money and obviously that feels great. I invest all this time and effort into playing and learning how to play poker so it's great to finally reap the rewards of it! But I think this is a contributing factor to those massive downswings I've gotten quite a few times.

Basically I fall into a state that I will call pattern-related thinking (dunno if anything similar exists but I can't come up with anything better than this). When I run good I expect to win everything, when I run bad I expect to get a suckout on the river. I've spent quite some time thinking why this happens in me. It may even be perfectly natural (I remember reading something similar a while back). For me this is a problem. I want to be focused on my play, I want to think about the hand instead of "wasting" energy thinking about what the outcome of the hand will be. Results are affecting my judgement! I guess it is so for everyone ...

I really dunno how to prevent this from happening. Perhaps one of the readers might know a solution? Basically it's hard for me to keep focused on how well I will play because the results have such an impact on me. Maybe that is the main reason why I am not a better player. Maybe I'm taking poker too seriously or I put way too much pressure on myself to succeed. I know I can and I know I will but it seems like I'm missing a key ingredient to success. I really need to come back to this blog entry and think about it some more.

Right now my train of thought is haywire again ... something else I'll have to work on lol. In a way tho I'm happy about this. If I really want to be serious about poker then I have to improve work on everything poker related and not just my game. I feel like I need to keep telling myself that results are just a by-product of a good/bad play. Hmm... that's a start!

Cya next time folx

P.S.: A while back I noticed a thread where someone was asking if blogs help a player improve or not and I wasn't really sure what to post in that. So I'm gonna add something about that here. I feel that writting this blog has helped me a lot and I think my improvement can be seen in the blog itself. So to anyone wondering why they should start a blog, think about why u want to do it and focus the blog on that. Don't be overly concerned with what u will be writting about, that will come on it's own. And most importantly, who cares if it makes sense or not, as long as u see reason in what u write that's all that matters! For me my blog is more of an attempt to track my own progress rather than follow my success (at least that's what it feels right now).

Writting is good for you folks and thinking about what ur writting about is even better!

I enjoy reading your blog Atoks, good luck with the psychological aspects of your game.

I find that good BR management has a positive flow on effect on your game because you see one suckout or one downswing as only a relatively small proportion of your entire roll. as long as you stick to a strict BRM you should enjoy a life-long upswing

make sure you analyse the hands that you find tough and remember, as long as you keep making the right decision that you have control over that's all that matters. you cant change the way the cards come out or what people decide to wake up with behind you

best wishes
<3

Thanks for the kind words lessthanthreee It's always nice to see that people enjoy the read

I completely agree with u about BRM. It is key for almost any stage of a poker career but it is most important when a new player starts to play poker. BRM is the first test of discipline and patience. For me it has been one of the harder lessons to learn but I got there. Since then I've never went outside of solid BRM. A life long upswing would be very nice tyvm, where can I pick it up?

Analysis are very important as well. I used to do mine dailly, but now I prefer to do them in a group conversation, somehow the things I hear there clash better with my own theories. If other people are giving me critique of my play it is probably going to be far more honest than what I would come up with when I would analyse the spots myself Though I have to admit, I can be pretty harsh on myself ... still for me outside input and discussing spots is the best way to analyse my game

Thank u for your post and I also wish u the very best!

Hey again,

I've not been updating the blog all that much recently since I've been a bit busy iRL. Nothing really interesting happened poker-related either so the blog kinda got pushed back a bit. I'm still around tho, still playing the 45mans (starting to consider taking shots at the 27$ MTT SnGs). It's been an even more bumpy ride than on the 16$ STTs but the downers didn't go as deep thankfully. Right now I'm mainly trying to bring my ROI back up to 10%+ and improve my ranges against the players that I see more often.

Also there has been a bit of a breakdown at our home and some cash is needed rather soon (2weeks or so). Since I have some cash hidden away for rough times I kind of decided to use this need for money to try and motivate myself to put in even more hours. It only happened today so on that sample I can't say yet if it's working or not I'm not sure if I'll reveal what my target figure is but it's likely I'll give updates in percentage left to reach goal form. Actually I like this idea so expect some updates along those lines

The rules for this goal are pretty basic, standard BRM applies (100BI min for the highest limit), I'll also be 9tabling for now as well (tho I might move up to 12tables or possibly more depending on how things will go) and I also intend to play a lot more regular MTTs (try and cash in some fast $$$ ). The main goal of this challange (apart from the money) is for me to play more games per day than I ever have up till now (looking for 150 games dailly) but also try and keep the quality of play. Apart from that I expect to have loads of fun and a big sample to analyze after I'm done with this effort (hopefully that'll help me improve my game even more!).

So since I've still got about 35% of the quota to fill I best get back to winning Right now I've not really moved up from my starting point (had a few negative results today) we'll just say that I'm still 100% away from completing my goal Cya next time and wish me luck ♦

'llo peeps,

today has been the best day of my poker career so far! After weeks of moaning and groaning due to bad beats I finished my evening session at almost 1k$ up. After wining the last game I was about 50$ shy of finishing my first 4 figure session. The feeling was absolutely amazing I had a bit of luck getting there but variance works both ways and I hope this is the sign that she'll be pulling my way for months to come ♦

Nothing was really different from all those sessions where I finished breakeven or maybe slightly down. I stuck to what I've learned and did my best to play the A-game I always try to play. I kept my faith in myself and used my aggression to nearly achieve what all of us want ... a 4 figure pay-day. I hope my experience will help people see that effort and hard work, combined with a few other ingredients like patience and discipline, courage and determination will bring u success, be it in poker or real life.

If ur wondering do I feel bad about not breaking the 1k$ barrier, I don't. So many times I've seen people saying poker is just one big session that it is ultimately irrelevant when my BR fills up those extra $$$. Right now I'm actually a bit down from before but hey ... I wouldn't appreciate it as much if it always went up and up Besides, there will be so many more 4figure, 5figure and yes 6+figure payouts as well ♦ That's the goal ...

Two and a half years ago I wrote a text message to my then new GF that I had a great day earning 3,5$ playing NL FR cash games. Looking back at how far I came since then ... and looking forward to how far I have yet to go and how much joy I've yet to experience ... I will make the most of it all ♦

Thanks for reading folks ... I'll cya next time

Hey again,

I've been playing a bit less poker the past two days. I instead spent time with my GF. I know I've set up a challange for me and it is still on. I never wanted to ignore my RL when I started poker ... or even worse cut off what my real life is. So during this challange that will not change ... or during any future undertakings The whole thing is coming along nicely btw, thanks for wondering I'm about 33% there

Even if I've been putting slightly less volume (at this point I should mention it is nearly impossible to play 150 45man SnGs in a day ... I've been putting up to 10hrs into poker dailly and the highest I made it playing 45mans was just over 100 games in a day), poker has still been swingy. Yeah I had a great day which was truly awesome and it'll be something to remember forever I guess ... but still (and this is mainly for Nick and Flows who will get this part better than most other ppl ) MIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!! For those who didn't get it ... I've been getting sucked out on quite a bit again ... but it's cool ... I know I can deal with this In fact I'll let out a brag just now ... I've never tilted less money away then recently! So there

For the record I'll say this right here and now this will be a monster update! So many things that are related to the psychology part of full time poker playing have been ... coming as a realization to me recently ... well mostly just now. U see Flows has been asking me to watch the movie 21. And I finally did. Now yes I know it's just a movie and a fictional story ( btw SPOLIER ALERT and also this is your disclaimer to the following words of wisdom (hopefully lol) ) but still ... consider this: The main character was a very bright and gifted young man. He dedicated his life to his future. He wanted more (don't we all ?). He got a chance for more and he got swept away by it. The inevitable demise followed. Yet he somehow got another crack at what his original path of life was with an added bonus ... a way to actually make it all happen. Pretty straight-forward story really ... but let's look at what this movie helped me realize (it is psychology related mostly ):

Poker in essence is and will always be gambling. Yes various other things come into play but winning money at poker is only very rarely a sure thing! A lot has to happen before u get the chance to collect ur chips. But let's leave that aside a bit. What I really want to write about is, how doing something, that is in our culture and with our upbringing, something entirely and so completly ... unreliable (can't really think of another way to put this), that people look at us with wild eyes just at the mention of trying to live of poker, what does this do to ... well me I guess since I'm the one thinking about it ? I've won a lot of money in one day recently. I'm still grinning about it and prolly will for some time. But not until watching the movie 21 did I consider, how fast can it all disappear? What would have to happen for it all to disappear?

Fast money is a wonderful thing ... if u know how to deal with it. Also it doesn't really matter if the sum is 10$, 100$, 10000$ or more ... whatever feels like a big achievement for u will do. U see this achievement will give u a sense of, well, achievement. U will gain a lot of faith in ur abilities because that is the main effect success has on us human beings. But not for one second will u even come close to considering what will happen when the good run ends. In all honesty I doubt anyone can since it's not in our nature. I know this is some ... complicated stuff and some of u might be wondering why the hell I'm going on about this while others might take all of this for granted and have realized it all since day one.

Success and money, probably even more, have a big effect on us. Often it is a negative effect. We no longer are the people we used to be but we transform, most often into something worse than we were. It's a natural thing, ego grows, one feels unbeatable, try and stop me, right? But there are a few variables that u have absolutely no effect on. U can't control when the next bad beat will occur ... or how many bad beats in a roll u will have ... or it might be something completely unrelated to the poker table! Ur computer might break down, a technical issue might prevent u access to ur poker room, hell u might even have to go to the hospital for some time ... and just like that it might all be gone. Maybe not directly but as a consequence. Tilt comes in many forms and fashions and for me it mainly come as a by-product of how I feel and how my recent runs went.

So what 21 made me think about was this: Would I really appreciate the money and the success if it happened all at once? Probably not as much as compared to if I worked for it the way I have been up till now. Yes I want it. Yes I can sense it to be right around the corner and it probably is. But I want to be able to manage it all and not get carried away by it. I want to be the same person I am now (ok evolved at least a bit but still ). Because the person I am now always does his best to strive to do the best he can and give the best he can. He tries to improve and evolve, does his best to remain disciplined and stay on top of things, while never losing his cool (if at all possible). I may not always succeed at the above but I damn well try my hardest to do so! And that is why I appreciate my achievements at poker and why I desire to achieve more and give it my all to get as far as possible and beyond!

So the bottom line: Work hard , always give it ur all, stay focused, stay cool, remain discipined and know the reasons why u are doing certain things at the time. NEVER EVER NEVER underestimate the last sentence and ALWAYS follow it, it will help u appreciate ur success and ur rewards more and it will give u hunger for more. And this applies for anything in life really (at least that is how I feel about it all ). Because with all of the above comes the appreciation of what u have done and the good feel about what u have achieved.

Yeah all this came out after watching the movie 21. And the movie is not even poker related lolz. I guess it's part of what I want to say to myself about poker. I really hope I'll always be able to be honest with myself about poker and the reasons why things turn out the way they do. I hope to be able to win like a man and lose like a man. To be proud of when I play good and do good things and be upset and fair to myself when I don't do that good. I hope to improve

So this is it for now ... I hope u find these and other thoughts in this blog at least in some way useful and helpful. For me dealing with what poker throws at me is just as important as playing and improving my A game. I hope to revisit this entry often ... it's a good one Good luck folks and take care! Cya next time

nice post... would've been super sick if you could hit 150 games a day without 16+ tabling....

Ello,

been a week since I started my challenge and I've managed to play over 600SnGs in this time. I've been hovering around the 33% completed mark most of the time though. It's been a difficult B/E run, especially in the 180 mans where I always miss out in that one crucial hand that would send me in the right position to either dominate or win. I'm confident about my game though and with a wee bit more luck I know I can meet my goal in this next week.

I've been putting in quite long hours which was the main idea behind this challenge (apart from the money lol). I'm really happy with the way I've managed to improve my ability to focus for a longer period of time without my game suffering one bit. The main reasons for this are probably the 5min break I get every hour, the motivation to reach an ambitious goal and maybe even the brain-sync thing I've mentioned a while back. I've been listening to it every day for at least an hour usually while I play. It really helps me to either calm down or get my brain into working gear. It might just be a placebo and these effects could only be imaginary but hey ... it sure doesn't seem to be hurting me in any way

I really need to get round to posting more hands in this blog just to lighten it up a bit. Apart from that I've nothing more to report this time ... shocking isn't it Anyway wish me luck for my challenge and cya next time