Why I should become a Diamond Member:
Reason #1: I have mad Jedi poker skillz
NL25:
BB: $35.83
UTG: $24.20
Hero (CO): $26.65
BTN: $19.35
SB: $51.12
Pre Flop: ($0.40) Hero is CO with Q
Q 
UTG calls $0.25, Hero raises to $1.25, 2 folds, BB calls $1, 1 fold
Flop: ($2.90) T
T
A
(2 players)
BB folds
While this amazing ability has allowed me to run above EV for 25K hands, for some reason it only works once in a while and some actual ability might come in handy
Reason #2: When I sort my hands in PT3 by BB/Hand, I get KK followed by AA followed by 73s:

I'm pretty sure there will be some sort of article in the diamond section explaining how to win with hands other than 73s, and why you should not expect a big payout when dealt 73s. Either that or I'll finally learn that the true secret to crushing NL Holdem is to play 73s as aggressively as possible since it has a 100% won $ when saw showdown value.
Reason #3: I'm a full time student taking 6 upper level math and physics courses per term in a combined math/physics honours program and commute for 2.5h per day, so I REALLY don't have the time to grind out enough points to get to diamond. However, I find the articles and videos very helpful and would definitely make use of them.
Reason #4: I don't have tits, but I don't wanna miss out when the judge comes home drunk tomorrow night:



Reason #5: I have noticed a strong correlation between being a diamond member and being good at poker. For some strange reason it seems as though the diamond members seem to say NL50 and NL100 are very soft and play higher limits, while many silver and gold members are playing lower limits. As I just moved up to NL50 I would be immensely grateful to be given diamond status so that I find it easy.
In conclusion,
PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!!!!