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Whats the difference between a car and a golf ball?....Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?....He couldn't decide between an iron or a wood.
What was Tiger woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?....they were clubbing.
What club did Elin Woods use to rescue her husband?....A bitching wedge.
The chinese are making a movie about Tigers crash!....They are calling it,"Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger".
Tiger had to change his nickname!....Its now cheetah.
Why did Tiger Woods crash his car?....He was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
What did Tigers wife tell police when asked how many times she hit him?....She said" i don't know exactly, but he put me down for a 5".
Tiger owns lots of expensive cars!....Now he has a hole in one.
Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
Originally posted by qcjunior
Whats the difference between a car and a golf ball?....Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards.
Why did Tiger Woods hit a fire hydrant and a tree?....He couldn't decide between an iron or a wood.
What was Tiger woods and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?....they were clubbing.
What club did Elin Woods use to rescue her husband?....A bitching wedge.
The chinese are making a movie about Tigers crash!....They are calling it,"Scratching Swede, Lying Tiger".
Tiger had to change his nickname!....Its now cheetah.
Why did Tiger Woods crash his car?....He was in a rush to move on to the second hole.
What did Tigers wife tell police when asked how many times she hit him?....She said" i don't know exactly, but he put me down for a 5".
Tiger owns lots of expensive cars!....Now he has a hole in one.
Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
LMAO got any more 
I don't know why this all came as such a surprise to his wife.. at least five days a week he told her he was off to play around.
OT: Yes.
omg, even legendary poker pro's Doyle Brunson & Erik Seidel are getting in on the act.
Following courtesy of the great ones twitter pages:
TexDolly
Santa said "Ho, Ho,Ho"........Tiger said "Where, Where, Where"
Erik_Seidel
AP votes Tiger Woods the athlete of the Decade. They may not have even counted his golf accomplishments
Sigh, poor tiger, we all make mistakes, go easy on him i say 
Bart
Originally posted by qcjunior
Why did Phil Mickelson contact Tigers wife?....To pick up tips on how to beat Tiger.
so awesome.
They kissed and made up, actually Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement,according to the new contract the next time Tiger plays around,Elin will hand him his balls.
That chinese movie will not be out till spring, but they released a new proverb to think about until then. He who drives well in "fairway"does not always "fare"well in driveways.
there were live reports of this on CNN....Tigers troubles started early ,where,on only his second Ho,he drove through a water hazard and into the trees.
Tigers attorneys issued the following statement today,"Mr Woods would like to take a mulligan".
Originally posted by qcjunior
They kissed and made up, actually Tiger and Elin have signed a new prenuptual agreement,according to the new contract the next time Tiger plays around,Elin will hand him his balls.That chinese movie will not be out till spring, but they released a new proverb to think about until then. He who drives well in "fairway"does not always "fare"well in driveways.
there were live reports of this on CNN....Tigers troubles started early ,where,on only his second Ho,he drove through a water hazard and into the trees.
Tigers attorneys issued the following statement today,"Mr Woods would like to take a mulligan".
ROFLMFAO
The last friday of the month Little Johnny's teacher likes to play trivia games,allowing the students to go home early if they answer correctly.
Teacher says..."I will give you a famous quotation and the first person to tell me who said it will get to go home".
Teacher...Ok class the first quotation is"Give me liberty or give me death"
I know this little Johnny says to himself,and starts to raise his hand,but before he can Susan shouts out "Patrick Henry"
"That's correct Susan"..says the teacher..."you may go home early"
Little Johnny is not happy and tells himself that he needs to be faster raising his hand up.
Teacher:.."The second quotation is.."We have nothing to fear but fear its self"
Little Johnny is excited because he knows this one too,but before he can answer,Katie shouts out.."Franklin.D.Roosevelt".
"That's correct Katie"..says the teacher..."enjoy the rest of the day off from school"
After being cut off again, little Johnny is getting mad.
"OK next quotation kids"..replies the teacher.."ask not what your country can do for you ,but what you can do for your country".
Little Johnny begins to say .."Joh....",but cute Mary sitting in front of him yells out "John.F.Kennedy",before he gets the chance to finish.
"That's correct Mary,you may also leave early today"..says the teacher.
Now Johnny is furious,and when the teacher turns her back to watch Mary leave the classroom,Little Johnny says"..I wish all these bitches would keep their mouths shut".
Teacher turns and says.."NOW WHO SAID THAT"?
Little Johnny.."TIGER WOODS.....CAN I GO NOW"?
♠_tongue: