[Closed] Annoying mom... How to deal with it?

Ah another decent thread after a while ... even if it's about mums lol. This community still surprises me sometimes. Even if there's a lot of grief dished (guilty) on some rare occasions people still try to give productive advice. Maybe there'll be more good advice in the future (hopefully from me as well).

Anyway to the issue. First off, (and this has prolly been said before, not sure skimmed over the other posts briefly) be happy u have such a caring and loving mom. Yeah it may sound corny but ... fk it, this day and age it's often a luxury and rarity. I'm not too sure about the buying gifts idea, that should come later down the line. Ignoring her comes at ur own "expense." Depending on how much u care for her and how much u "value" her u'll ignore/follow that advice. I've actually had a more show and tell approach:

IMHO u should download the pokerstrategy elephant or maybe even invest into a program like poker tracker or hold'em manger. Why? They all have the function to show how much time u have played poker on a given day/week/month/... (well HEM and PT do, not sure about PSE) That way u can always show her how much time u've spent playing poker. Hopefully one of the programs is accessible for u because even if ur mom isn't the best with computers, she'll prolly understand that u have no idea on how to edit that data and it just might do the trick.

In any case, good luck with solving this. U seem to be a rare bread of person and I wish u well for the future!

buy poker tracker, then show her how little you are playing. She carnt call 2hours per day adicted.

Look,imo what ur doin aint a crime or so,but u need to understand ur mom's side aswell.
Almost every family i know,knows of someone who once lost his house due to "gambling" and destroyed his family and blablabla... u know where i'm goin with this.
Now think that this woman has no idea of any "poker strategy" nor "BRM" but knows people who lost fortunes and add to that,that now her son is starting to get into it.This sums up to bad thoughts bout the entire thing

Imo u should sit with her and talk but dont point on the strategy's or brm parts or the profit that might come or not.
Since u are a good son judging from ur post,let her know that the fact she sees u each time is only cause she comin back at the only time u are available to do it and also let her know that for now its just a hobby for u,an internet game and thats all.Dont try talkin bout profits and money flowing and u+her wont have to work etc cause that will scare her.
And when hopefully after time ur profits come and show some good numbers and u have a good decent br u can tell her that u might try goin one step further than havin it just as a hobby and show her ur last big check u got from ur bank or w/e.

i was havin a similar problem but when i hit the hobby buttom and i do it just for fun they calmed down a lot.And if 1 day i have some decent profits i ll show them and try the next step.

gl and as atoks said be happy she cares ♦

I also have a similar problem, maybe a bit more complicated, because my grandparent was addicted to gambling and lost everything he had playing (if I´m not wrong) poker. When I say everything I really mean everything. Those were hard times for my dad and his family. So I can understand his fear when he enters my room and sees me fully concentrated on 9 jumping tables as if I´m some kind of crazy gambler.

Of course he knows I´m not an impulsive person, and I always try to show him how reasonable I am. There´s a famous game in Brazil called Truco, and it´s also sort of a gambling/bluffing game. He taught me it when I was a kid and i grew playing with him and my family, and once he said he had never seen anyone in his life play Truco in such a mathematical way as I did. I guess showing racionality over reckless emotional explosions will help you convince your mom... even though it may be a lot harder to convince her than your dad.

So avoid looking worried about poker or talking about it a lot (or screaming at the monitor when you have a bad beat) and try to show her you can be a calm and reasonable person when it comes to playing, and also that it makes you happy and that it is a challenge for you.

PROVE her you can make money in the long term, little by little, without risk. And when you build a decent BR, show it to her, and maybe buy her something... that´s always a great advice. lol

Best of luck, man!

Here is another idea:
If she is scared that you will loose too much money put the deposit protection to 0. That way you won't risk any more money if you should loose one day and she can't reaaly be worried if you loose money that you got for free...
Don't know though if you can put a password for the deposit protection/responsible gambling if yes, let her choose it...

Your mother is NOT annoying. She's a MOTHER. She's going to worry about you forever, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it in your lifetime. No amount of 'proving' will stop her from doing it either.

You do have to remind her that you are 21 yrs old (btw, GET OUT OF YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE!) and that you are bound to make mistakes. Yes she'll worry, but she'll eventually come to the conclusion you're an adult now (ONCE YOU MOVE OUT!!)

No matter what you do, she'll still love you and worry about you.

Just get the HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE!

The last two posts above mine are very solid advice.

I will add that if you do not have enough money to put her whole salary on a table and show her,
then just do it with play money!! I am sure someone who has never seen a poker site or played on
one can easily mistake it for real cash.

Hell i it was april first you could even just go all in with trash on a cash table for a few thousand!!!

Well I guess that wouldnt help make her happy but it would be funny!

Very nice thread indeed...
I can relate to you from the time I was living with my parents. I was studying my masters degree in architecture while I was a full time musician playing 6 nights a week; my parents always gave me a hard time on that. The only time they ever saw me play was my first gig after graduation. They were scared that I would throw away my career for what they thought it was a bad choice. Well, I've retired from music and all my band mates are still playing, winning Grammies and all that stuff, but well, I made my choice.
Now, when it comes to poker, they still don't approve it. Doesn't matter that much now to me, since I'm married, working full time as an architect, part time college professor and a responsible parent. But anyways, my friends and colleagues are the ones that now give me a hard time because poker may become a gambling problem to me.
I actually hate gambling; I haven't ever placed a single bet on a slot machine, a horse or any sporting event. It's not fun for me lose money over something I've got no control of. Sure, there is an element of chance in poker, but I can control the buy-in amount as an investment.
Since I have detailed stats on my play, I show my friends that poker compares to the stock market or even a savings account. What can you earn with a savings account, 2, 3, 4% annually? When I show them that I have an ROI of 16- 17% over 3,000 sessions, starting from an investment of zero, they kind of start paying attention. Sure, it still not a life changing amount of earnings (looong way 'til that happens), but I'm earning my money in my free time, probably while they are playing some stupidville game on Facebook. I know the ROI will come down as I climb up the limits, but the good thing is that I'm aware of that.
My advice to you is that you keep up with your studies as you've been doing and keep detailed stats of your play. The only thing your mother is worried about is that you don't throw away your future. After your get your diploma she'll be more relaxed, since you have now a safety net in case that this "poker thing" doesn't work out.
Wish you the best.

Hell i it was april first you could even just go all in with trash on a cash table for a few thousand!!!

[X] Solid advice

I have the same problem atm with my mother dearest.
I think the main thing she is worried about is not that I'm blowing all my money; I have cash games with my friends at home and she sees me raking in huge pots for lots of $$$ so she knows I'm a winning player (lol, my home game success could just be variance, but she wouldn't know that :P), she is just worried that playing lots of Poker will detract from other things in my life i.e. studying for University (which, in her defense, it actually has :P )

Great thread!

Mums are the best - you only get one so be nice to her

Why not ask her why she objects in the first place ?
Only then can we like offer our perspectives efficiently

Originally posted by justkyle88

Originally posted by Fiszy
Sorry, but unless you're under-16 (which you are not) I do not see why her opinion matters on this, or why you care.

Well it's about respect and your mother accepting what your doing.

How would you feel if your mum didn't accept you for whatever reason it may be?
Sure your 18/21 (whatever he legal age is in your country), sure you can do whatever you want but you still want acceptance.

Im at that point like 5 years. tried to convince them that its nothing that can make bad or what ever. It failed.. Now I just dont comunicate with them very much.

Pablomeza: Ignoring doesnt help at any point. lol That idea about buying something with poker money should work imo. To me... didnt work anything. GL