well.. tbh: i have no option rly, i DONT WANT TO and cannot ENJOY LIFE NOW. I have no university degree, and i have "lost" with poker already almost 2y. There will be enough of the time to enjoy rest of my life if i do well NOW. But NOW is essential. Poker is dying, esp NL, ppl are better, taxes are abt to be imposed, etc etc.. Its not going to be easy and i dont want to be distracted from now by anything. Also given up quake, need to f start playing mtts at last. Am so pissed abt my lack of discipline. Also, there are things that make these days esp stressful: finding new flat+moving, + the Estonian guys did a wonderful job of ignoring me abt the yachtweek and since there is no refund and i couldnt find any substitues for almost 2 months now, i lost 1.4k€ for ntg (luckily just 1st part out of 2bigger+1smaller was paid). Ofc i lose even more when i dont play good in few secs online, but thats just different. We could ofc go as we are, few ppl, but it would cost me some ~2k€ more still for all costs and i am just absolutely not in the mood after all.
Also TdF is a pain, not interesting anymore, life is just a total pain now.
I have enjoyed life even too much last month and detaste myself for that. I havent played at all, and this month i play pretty bad, esp last 2 days on NL400&600 i played so recklessly i am totally sick of it.. played mostly ABC and just totally forgot abt my special plays i had in repertoire from the past, also puking from bad luck, but cannot influence that.
Lockdown for 10days till i get myself back.
Beard will grow and grow and grow. Maybe for years.. w/e, lets fight! Phil Hellmuth!