Going after 888

are you going to play nl5?

that is where I will start

Great way to start my challenge. All was running according to plan until Saturday. Then I ran 8BI below EV and started tilting. Stopped the bleeding by dropping to NL2, but this is no fun.
At this point I am quite convinced that its all mental. It is hard to find definitive proof, but my feeling (which could be wrong) tells me, that the longer the session lasts and the more tables I play (mostly 2-4), the more likely I am to get into auto-playing mode, clicking buttons and calling off raises without much thinking. I do not have Database proof for that, but that’s how I feel.

If I look at the hands I have been posting, this also shows that I have most trouble facing aggression.

Week 1:
Hands: 6340
Bankroll 33 USD (goal 888 USD)
Profit: -37 USD

Second week in the books. I am actually pretty proud of myself. My downswing from the week before continued, same as running bad. Almost to the point that my bankroll was almost gone.

However, this time I did not tilt.

I reduced the number of tables to 2.
I played shorter sessions.
I started overfolding to aggression in spots where I would usually call. Indeed the number of biog hands lost was reduced as compared to other weeks.
I played more attention to villain and avoided bluffing in borderline spots when it was a recreational.
Still had some phase of poor play, multi-tabling + watching telly + drinking

I was able to get to where I started with my bankroll at the beginning of the week.
I played some MTT for distraction, which reduce my winning a little, but not much.

Week 2:

Hands: 7980 (NL5)
Profit: +5.74 USD
Bankroll: 38.74 USD (Goal 888 USD)

Pretty weird week. I had the feeling that I played quite well. By Friday I was almost back to where I had started 2 weeks ago. By Sunday night I was back down, and even lower. With a couple of exceptions I did not have the sense that it was going the wrong way.
That's the way perception is. I will try to dig into this weeks data to see if I find something. In particular analyse the difference between the upswing and the downswing. Maybe it is just variance, but maybe not.

I cashed in a couple of freerolls, which makes the bankroll look better than just from cash gaming

Week 3
Hands: 6137
Profit: -0.15 USD
Bankroll: 38.59 USD (Goal 888 USD)

A good week overall. Made only a handful of my typical poker errors of calling with mediocre hands when facing sudden aggression. The first half of the week was really good, I could do no wrong. The second half felt very weird. It was like I cannot do anything right. I had the feeling that I actually played quite solid, but it was just going downwards. Maybe it was just variance?

Weekly graph

Week 4
Hands: 5793
Profit: 11.24 USD
Bankroll: 49.83 USD (Goal 888 USD)

I am actually only a rec player, playing for fun ~ 2 hours a day, sometimes less, on the weekends more. I am taking the game quite seriously, saying, that I try< to improve, take coaching etc.
As a matter of fact my game is getting better, can tell this by many stats (although they are still very far from good), my ranges now vs. 2 years ago, the plays which I can make or not (which include some fold in the right spots)..... I have several huge leaks (like making calls in the wrong spots), but this year I had the feeling it is coming together.

However, currently, to be exact the last couple of months, the game is just becoming f...ing ridiculous. It is like dumping money down the toilet. Over all sites I had been playing I am about 80 BI's below EV. As much as I attempt to inject logic and be content with playing well, I am totally losing it. Of course I eventually make bad plays, get tilted and start spewing. But I have also become quite good to break out of such sessions and stop the bleeding. But when it feels like every single session starts by giving 2BI's away due to suckouts, and the occasional set over set, then the fun just stops. Just see my graph below for this week.

It is like running a 5 mile race and having to run 2 miles first to catch up with the field. Grinding from behind is draining and frustrating. I realize that trying to systematically build a bankroll while continuously improving is a challenge which is beyond my mental capability. I do not care about the cash, but I do not want to give it away either. Of course I will not jump into NL100 without beating NL25 first. Couple of years ago I was steadily winning NL10 and failing at NL20, but I could alway go back to NL10 to rebuild. Right now I probly cannot even beat NL2 (although I did not try, as I refuse to humiliate myself or pay the huge rake).

So most likely this is the end of it.

Hello bigdog63,

Just discovered your blog here

Sorry to read that you have not had a good time with poker lately. Have you thought maybe coming back and trying another format? I found when I made my way to NL25 and back down again to NL5 feeling pretty defeated and looked at $45 man SnG & Spins instead.
With limited time as a rec player this may be a good option for you and possible less frustrating?

Looking forward to reading future posts

My regards

Matt

Thanks monkey.
I thought about spin n gos, but they are surely not my game. If I cannot handle variance with cash, how could I with those.
Then Id rather play low buy MTTs and play only on weekends where I have more time, or vacation.

After successfully venting last week, I quickly returned to the game of course. However, I try to find ways to improve my game by applying mechanisms which suit my character, habits and time budget.

One thing I noticed during my coaching sessions with w34z3l was, that I am not really articulate when talking about poker. This is not only a language issue, but more of a thinking issue. I really do not formulate my thoughts appropriately during play, which is actually equal to = not thinking deeply during play.

Secondly, I play too fast, often mechanically, especially when cards are bad and there is not much going on. I also often disregard opponent stack, type etc. which for example results in bad plays, like bluffing a fish.

Last but not least, I love the game and play for fun.

So, as a remedy for my shortcoming and to increase the fun factor I decided to start streaming my game.
The idea is to start streaming at least once per week. I will start with 45 Min and see how it goes. So far it was a lot of fun setting up my twitch channel etc.

The first session will be tonight at 19:30 CEST, which will the premiere without any specific goal in mind other than just trying to make everything else work.
Afterwords, I plan to set a session goal for my game and stick with it during the stream.

Hopefully I can say hello to at least one viewer tonight - so see u later fishes

I will watch one of your sessions when I'm available! Always nice to see another NL5 grinder, might learn something!

thanks. Last night did not really work. I do not know why, probly because I used a slow twitch server?

will work on it and reschedule the next session