Well I did it guys.
I am pretty sure I am not the only one in this situation.
First, Let me tell you a bit about myself, I am a 23 years old student that has been playing for poker since I was 18 online. That means about 5 years ago. The first year I played poker, I knew nothing about it and I won huge freeroll that had a prize of 4k for the first place. Can you believe I beat all these people without having no idea of what I was doing? .
Anyways, with that money, I played a little big of mid-big limit poker ( 0,5 - 1$) nL and yet again I had no idea what I was doing. I finally just withdrew all my money from that website that I won. (Good job me)
Later, I went on pokerstars and started playing SnG, by then I read some online articles and e-book that was available. I had no idea what was a bankroll so I was playing 5$ tournaments with 50$ deposit. I managed to be lucky and I withdrew 50$ a few times from the website because I needed it.
Eventually I lost all my BR on pokerstars and that was my first real lost. I did that a few times, never big amount. maybe 25$ each time. Remember I was always in the positive because of my hugeeee win.
2 years ago(little less), my friend invited me to pokerstrategy. I read articles, improved my game. Started playing on everest on micro limits, made some money, withdrew the money because i needed it.
Then I decided to go on a SNGs fest on full tilt (If I remember correctly) which is not too long ago and I was half successful in this, you can find the link to my blog about that on my sig. I am still wondering why It didn't pay off more, I probably had more problems in my games than I thought.
Finally I kind of stopped playing poker and reading about it, hence the no update on my blogs or whatever. I just got bored.
THEN
♠_o: ♠_o: ♠_o:
Mistake.
2 months ago, I started playing expensives tournament on full tilt. I was bored, and I needed to play something that was more fun and challenge and that could get my heart racing like before
I actually got a 10th place in a midnight madness cashing out more than 400$ then I withdrew that money.
I deposited another 100$ on fulltilt and joined three 26$ tournament that I lost with bad beats ( not even a joke) which made me rage. Fact is, I should never have joined those tournament because I DO NOT HAVE THE BANKROLL FOR IT.
Then I just went stupid with the rest of the money.
After that, I decided to go to my local casino to play 1/2$ games, which I found that had a terrible amount of fishes. Yes, it was true, but fish do get lucky and when you are a s tudent you can't really handle to see your aces cracked 4 times and losing more than 500$ all together because of that.
And that's when I stopped playing for a while.
Today I am thinking about coming back officially to online poker micro limit on full tilt.
What is my plan now :
- Re-reads all the articles about NL cash game and psychology of the game.
- Post hands in the hand evaluation forum
- Read all the books I got from 2+2. as well as pro-poker book I will buy
- RESPECT MY BANKROLL NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENDS.
- NOT going to the LOCAL CASINO unless I have the bankroll for 1$/2$
I might start a blog about my story of cash games on full tilt, stay tuned. I like to share my poker experiences.
Sorry if it's a long time to read, I just like to write sometimes. It feels better now and I feel like I can come back. Do not make the same mistake and remember to CONTROL YOUR GAMBLING MONSTER that's all inside us
I know overall I am still a winning player long term, but the last few months made me realize the stress of bankroll management.
I know you might not read this and it's fine, but thanks for letting me vent 
♠_love:
If anyone else sometimes feels impulsive I am always open to have discussion together to work on the psychological part of the poker, which is probably one of the most important .( I am a big tilter)
GUess I need to work my way back to gold to reread my articles ♦
