Hi guys.
Am sorry but am very emotional atm and need something to vent out.
As well I need to reconsider and maybe turn off my poker sites, software and dedicate myself to other things in life.
This is my story...
I start to play this poker bit more seriously about one year ago.
Started with SSS on pokerstars, climb to nl50 and as soon as I climb to new limit I was struck by downswing which took me back to stone age.
Actually never recovered by it.
Than I was lost for some time and 2 months after I began studying and playing BSS nl2.
Climbed to nl5 than hit by anither downswing and bad play.
Somehow receoverd and switch to Lucky Ace poker.
THere it tookme some time to climb from nl5 to nl20, as soon as I stepped into nl20 zone I was hit byanother downswing and again I was almost at where I started.
Thx to some rb and stuff I menaged to keep my br sufficient to play nl10.
Here is graph :
Ofc there isalways bad play involved when on downswing, but most of hands I lose are with bad beats or nasty setpus.
I decided to take a brake from Lucky Ace,just due to the fact that I started to develop ugly image about the house in my head.
In that time it was promotion on Party Poker called World domination.
I ve read some ps member had decent success, so I decided to deposit 100$ and try it out.
Here is how it went :
From 1st hand of deposit I was in bad shape.
Whatever I put in pot went to Villain, regardless of my cards.
Than for lat 400 hands I went mad and u can see in graph...
Close PP account, earase software, still feel sick, when think about them ...
Took some break,went on summer vocation, didnt care about poker really.
Came back and decided to took some of my BR and put on stars, due to this 90% promotion.
Decided to start grinding on nl5 upwards.
Watched some videos of crushing nl50 from hasenbraten, some from G3sterne.
Overall felt like I know what am doing and was confident I can beat nl5 easily.
After initiall good start I menaged to fall into this sick downswing, where everything is against me.
I will not deny that I made some bad moves of frustration mostly, but most of my moves have been +EV at that moment.
Run couple of times with KK vs AA, that pissed me off, t
Here is graph :
THis last loss of 10$ was on
my QQ on QJ9r3c allin vs T8s, than my 89s on 7TsJ , on raise, he hit flush which I couldnt fold .. and u know how it goes
I will not deny, my game has leaks which should be plugged, butin general I fell , just that I am overall Unlucky for this poker.
As soon as I climb limit am struck with stroke of nasty beats, add that mindset problems (read tilt) and u have it...
But regardless of my improvement in game, that shit still reamins the same.
I know samples of hands in my graphs are not that big, but I just cannot escape the feeling, that I am unlucky and its something I cannot fix.
Damn it feels like am born in downswing... ♠_cry:
