funny livepoker trashtalkaments

Originally posted by i5bet72o
A few hands later..straddled to $5
I get dealt KQo in the SB.
1 limp, Villain limps, Tilted Button raised to $20, I call, BB calls, limpers call
Flop is Q93 :club: ($100)
checked to tilted button who shoves for $120. I am about to call when Villain says "if you call, I am moving Allin" I call the house over and ask if that bet is commited and the house says no (it usually is based on casino rules but I didnt really want to argue).
Villain ($600 effective): "I dont give a fuck what the house said, if you call I am going ALLIN"
I decide to fold and Villain snaps him off with T :club:5 and Button had 34o. Turn and River blank off and Button is good.

How good was the villian? surely that's a draw 9/10 times

Originally posted by bradomurder

Originally posted by i5bet72o
A few hands later..straddled to $5
I get dealt KQo in the SB.
1 limp, Villain limps, Tilted Button raised to $20, I call, BB calls, limpers call
Flop is Q93 :club: ($100)
checked to tilted button who shoves for $120. I am about to call when Villain says "if you call, I am moving Allin" I call the house over and ask if that bet is commited and the house says no (it usually is based on casino rules but I didnt really want to argue).
Villain ($600 effective): "I dont give a fuck what the house said, if you call I am going ALLIN"
I decide to fold and Villain snaps him off with T :club:5 and Button had 34o. Turn and River blank off and Button is good.

How good was the villian? surely that's a draw 9/10 times

I also thought there was a high likelyhood that this was a draw but I did not really want to lose $600 after 10 hours of play b/c I was fairly sure that villain would actually shove his draws here.

♦ ♦ funny dialoge

A few gems from this week:

HS player: "If you go to a bank and threaten to close your account, they will usually give you $10K cash"

Conversation between 2 asian regs playing 5/10 PLO. Ivan is another regular playing in the game.

Asian reg 1: "Ivan, lets play 25/50 heads up"

Ivan declines

Asian reg 2: "Why would you want to play Ivan Heads up"

Asian reg 1: "More money, more quickly"

I was playing somewhat laggy in a 1/2 game. $5 straddle on here

I raise to $25

Tourist young guy: "Damit you raise alot, what that the forth time you made it 25?"

Nitty reg D: "you JUST realized"

I was playing a hand with an older, working class blue colar type guy

I bet two streets with an overpair and he calls and leads big when the flush hits and I quickly fold.

I jokingly say, "You bluffin?" to try and make him show his hand

He says, "No, unlike you I respect money and I am not playing with my parents money"

Me and this fishy somewhat agressive nerdy white guy are in pot with like $800 effective stacks

Limped to me in the SB, I make it $16 with queens, he l/rr to $32, I think about 4betting but decide to call

Flop is QT8cc
check, check

Turn is Jc ($70)
I bet $50, he calls

River is a 2h ($170)
I bet $100, he tank folds

nerdy guy: "I wonder what you had"

nitty reg D: "He had a straight, he raises with Ace King"

nerdy guy: "I folded trip queens"

I could help smiling.

very entertaining, post some more !

loooooool these are all great

you could add one extra line of space between stories though

Originally posted by Tomaloc
loooooool these are all great

you could add one extra line of space between stories though

Like my English teachers always said, double spacing is always better

Another great one from a while ago that I just remembered.

A few guys are having a conversation about winning and losing in poker:

V1:I have lost about 14K in the last 5-6 years playing 1/2
V2: Fuck, thats alot of money
V1: Wait, What do you mean? If you do the math its cheaper than just seeing movies or going out to drink during that time.

Me: "Do you play any online?"
Response: "Yeah, tons of facebook poker"

Also, I had like 6 or so BB and shoved A7s from the small blind, some guy calls with KTo and he loses. He only has about 8.5bb so losing crushes his stack, this is the kicker: my friend was still at another table, he got moved there, and apparently he was telling it like it was a bad beat story, "this guy went all in with ace seven and won". Absolutely priceless, apparently he was having a full on whine about it to the whole table.

More please!!!!

Not really funny but this quote made me happy
Villain is a competant reg but a bit on the weak tight side and this quote took place when I was cashing out like ~$400 after a 5 hour session where I was in for $700: "The thing I really like is that you are able to leave whether you are up or stuck. When Im stuck, I just stay until I get unstuck even if I have to play for 26 hours. Dont know how you do it"

More funny ones:

Joke a reg said (non-poker related):
"Do you know whats great about pedophiles?"
"They dont speed in School zones"

Absurd poker thinking:

guy raises to $25 and get 5 callers
Flop is A72r ($150)
guy bets $65, one caller
Turn and river get checked through
guy shows QQ, caller shows A9o and wins

Guy: "I had to bet something to see if anyone has an ace"

You get called in 5 spots, someone has an ace obv and incase noone does, who is going to bluff in a 6 way pot.

Bump!
Moar trashtalkaments please, this thread had potential!