The day the world ends, will be the day I rise

Sometimes it can be a good thing to take a step back and re-evaluate your game, I have done it on a few occasions. Feel no shame or embarrassment in dropping to nl5 or nl2 it may actually help to focus yourself on any mistakes and leaks, mindset issues etc.
As you said yourself, positivity is key in this instance.

Welcome to blogs and try to make sure the game stays fun.

Mal.

I have felt and fail down to similar state of mind that ofc has accursed me losing part of my bankroll and more

In the begin I thought it was just a downswing but after it was clear that was something more

so, to do not take too long, I have quit playing and wait the new year (if one come ♦ ) and maybe use the emotional and mental conditioning of the new year to broke what seem clear now been a mental block.

What suggested by Gadget the great is exactly what I have done and what seem the most logic and obviously solution to what seem manifest as a distortion from the mind and not from the knowledge (I hope that make sense)

Wish you all the best and to back up in a shining way (hope and wish to myself too to be honest) soon in the new year

obv, if we got one!

Thank you for your reactions. Took me some days to make my first update, but here it is.

Poker software
I decided that I wanted to use tracking software. I still had a HEM-license from some time ago, but there is no Hold'em Manager software for the Mac OS X. Sucks, but okay.

So after that, I tried to get a Poker Copilot license. No success, some issues with the payment methods. Support wasn't answering within 24 hrs. Their bad, they lost a client.

Well, now I've got a Poker Tracker license. Software seems pretty easy in use, which is positive. It'll surely help a lot.

First sessions
The first 1k hands were hard to play, but the next thousand hands went pretty well.

Merry Christmas everyone

Played some more hands yesterday evening and some this afternoon.

Had some difficulties with my concentration between hands 2.5k and 3.5k, I'm happy I didn't lose on that part. I should work on that.

NL2
I'm aiming for a winrate of 10bb on the long term. I don't want to be on NL2 for too long, so I hope I won't.

Nice Blog

Why am I still playing poker?

After 16k hands, I run 1.5bb/100 on NL2. Lol.

I have been playing a little NL5. I like it better than NL2. Probably because I usually lose my concentration whilst playing on NL2.

Well, NL5 was going okay. I play on two tables, not four as usual. I have really been playing good. It wasn't exactly a hotrun, but I could compensate that because I kinda played my A-game.

Untill a few minutes ago.. Lost my focus, kind of tilted. Lost 3BI, which sucks, cause I worked hard and concentrated to win them.

This is critical. If I'm not able to reduce these moments of tilt/non-focus, I'd better stop playing.