This is the funniest response I got so far.
AllNAll: dipshi t folded wholly crap
nicarsenault: lol
AllNAll: must have hit the wrong button
Dippo ---> Dipshit ----- Pretty clever ♦ ♦ ♦
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jacktenmetcalf: u only wish u were a good poker player
jacktenmetcalf: lmao
jacktenmetcalf: u couldnt hit water if you fell out of a boat
jacktenmetcalf: hahahhahahaha
UP_Denis: never said i was.... why do you think i look like a donkey 
jacktenmetcalf: BURN
jacktenmetcalf: i love life
Hlynkinn222: He loves life cuz he likes when it dies 
UP_Denis: lol
jacktenmetcalf: hahahahahaha
jacktenmetcalf: ur crazy man.... i like you but your craaaaaaaaaazy
run4jim: lizard there is a fly on the table
jacktenmetcalf: got it
jacktenmetcalf: right when u said that i was in position and my tongue went flyin
run4jim: theres another on vice girls chest
jacktenmetcalf: vice girl i like your outfit
ViceGirl273: ty..picked it out myself
run4jim: lol
jacktenmetcalf: i love it
Was in a tourney earlier today 
I laugh when a donkey wins and says "ty". Or when a donkey starts asking "what do you have?" or "i hope you had something" after he folded his his hand. It happens more on MTTs, but I laugh because they talk like they're pros on high stakes poker ♦
Table situation : 6 max, MP minbets,MP+1 bets normally, SB(42/29) shoves and i find myself with KK. I call, he shows AA and i hit a king on the flop.The hand isnt even finished, but he starts:
"SO easy fold donkey. I fold KK in your place everytime"
And so on for 15 minutes.
Originally posted by darkonebg
Table situation : 6 max, MP minbets,MP+1 bets normally, SB(42/29) shoves and i find myself with KK. I call, he shows AA and i hit a king on the flop.The hand isnt even finished, but he starts:
"SO easy fold donkey. I fold KK in your place everytime"
And so on for 15 minutes.
Omg you didnt fold preflop? You're so donk 
I had pocket 9's in the cutoff once, raised 4xBB's. Got called by SB.
Flop comes
9Ax (x=blank for both)
I went all-in on the flop after he bet 1/2 pot. He called. He shows AA.
Turn was blank
River was a nine.
Chat:
Brian: ouch, sorry bout that
Villian: thats okay, thats poker.
Other person: why'd you say sorry, you won?
Brian: Because I was on the winning side of a bad beat...
Other person: But you won...
Other person: Your such a donk, don't u know the point is to win?
Then, later on I met the same player in another room... I beat him out of a pot (not a bad beat this time though :P)
Other person: Wat, not gonna apologize to me?
Brian: No, you shouldn't have called when you were behind...
Other person: oh. thanks for the tip
That was probably the moment that stick out in my head the most... although in hindsight it doesn't seem as funny 
This is live chat while me and my friends were playing. One guy a cousin of my friend comes in and joins us to play a tourney about to begin. He has barely played poker, but is not scared to play a $15 buy-in tournament with us.
So here it goes:
He hits A high flush on turn, he checks, someone bets he calls, then on river he is last one to act and everyone checks, and he checks as well.
Then I asked him, why he didn't bet, he says " I didn't want to make it too obvious that I had a flush" ♦
They way he said it was soo funny, sounding so confident and clear like he just made the best decision of his life.....
Originally posted by arjun2001
This is live chat while me and my friends were playing. One guy a cousin of my friend comes in and joins us to play a tourney about to begin. He has barely played poker, but is not scared to play a $15 buy-in tournament with us.So here it goes:
He hits A high flush on turn, he checks, someone bets he calls, then on river he is last one to act and everyone checks, and he checks as well.
Then I asked him, why he didn't bet, he says " I didn't want to make it too obvious that I had a flush" ♦
They way he said it was soo funny, sounding so confident and clear like he just made the best decision of his life.....
In some tournaments, its actually forbidden to check behind the nuts ♦
It was only last night, and was all because of this!
saw flop | saw showdown
Button longPK ($37.43)
SB Scapp ($54.10)
BB Hero ($56.05)
UTG Kro3000 ($58.00)
UTG+1 onlymeagain1 ($10.00)
MP CountWillis ($49.50)
MP langeschaduw ($59.90)
MP Skal31 ($8.00)
CO-1 Peniskopf113 ($48.75)
CO claudio165 ($9.25)
Preflop: Hero is in the BB with T♥ T♦
Kro3000 raises to 2.00, 8 folds, Hero calls 1.50.
Flop (4.25) Q♠ Q♦ J♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 checks.
Turn (4.25) 8♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 bets 2.12, Hero calls 2.12.
River (8.49) 9♦
Hero bets 8.49, Kro3000 raises to 16.98, Hero raises to 35.00, Kro3000 calls 18.02
He had QQ btw. ♦ ♦ ♦
I mean comeon, he was trying to slow play, me? lmfao
I had about 6-7 of the guys on the table all calling me a donk, and how lucky I was. The only thing I think I done wrong was not pushing the river.
Originally posted by cannell555
It was only last night, and was all because of this!saw flop | saw showdown
Button longPK ($37.43)
SB Scapp ($54.10)
BB Hero ($56.05)
UTG Kro3000 ($58.00)
UTG+1 onlymeagain1 ($10.00)
MP CountWillis ($49.50)
MP langeschaduw ($59.90)
MP Skal31 ($8.00)
CO-1 Peniskopf113 ($48.75)
CO claudio165 ($9.25)Preflop: Hero is in the BB with T♥ T♦
Kro3000 raises to 2.00, 8 folds, Hero calls 1.50.Flop (4.25) Q♠ Q♦ J♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 checks.Turn (4.25) 8♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 bets 2.12, Hero calls 2.12.River (8.49) 9♦
Hero bets 8.49, Kro3000 raises to 16.98, Hero raises to 35.00, Kro3000 calls 18.02He had QQ btw. ♦ ♦ ♦
I mean comeon, he was trying to slow play, me? lmfao
I had about 6-7 of the guys on the table all calling me a donk, and how lucky I was. The only thing I think I done wrong was not pushing the river.
Don't want to be a pain or anything, but I think you kind of missed the point of this thread ♦ ♦ ♦
Nice hand btw, sick for the other guy. Not a BBJ table I presume
EDIT: Sorry I missed the bottom of the thread. My bad
It was on full tilt playing NL100, some guy sits down with 100$ and shoves all in first hand (pays a BB from UTG to get into the game 1 hand earlier). everyone folds and he shows 95o and says "haha i got you!"
then the next hand he shoves again and everyone folds again and he shows some other bad cards and says "wow im soo drunk"
it ends with me calling him with AJ and winning, thereafter hunting him to all the other tables he sits down at, but the waitlist is insta 3+ when he sat down^^.
gotta love drunk people
Originally posted by Dippy19
Originally posted by cannell555
It was only last night, and was all because of this!saw flop | saw showdown
Button longPK ($37.43)
SB Scapp ($54.10)
BB Hero ($56.05)
UTG Kro3000 ($58.00)
UTG+1 onlymeagain1 ($10.00)
MP CountWillis ($49.50)
MP langeschaduw ($59.90)
MP Skal31 ($8.00)
CO-1 Peniskopf113 ($48.75)
CO claudio165 ($9.25)Preflop: Hero is in the BB with T♥ T♦
Kro3000 raises to 2.00, 8 folds, Hero calls 1.50.Flop (4.25) Q♠ Q♦ J♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 checks.Turn (4.25) 8♦
Hero checks, Kro3000 bets 2.12, Hero calls 2.12.River (8.49) 9♦
Hero bets 8.49, Kro3000 raises to 16.98, Hero raises to 35.00, Kro3000 calls 18.02He had QQ btw. ♦ ♦ ♦
I mean comeon, he was trying to slow play, me? lmfao
I had about 6-7 of the guys on the table all calling me a donk, and how lucky I was. The only thing I think I done wrong was not pushing the river.
Don't want to be a pain or anything, but I think you kind of missed the point of this thread ♦ ♦ ♦
Nice hand btw, sick for the other guy. Not a BBJ table I presume
EDIT: Sorry I missed the bottom of the thread. My badnot a BBJ hand. hero only made straight flush with 1 card.
I often have chat closed and have stats or info open (on pokerstars) so havent seen many funny comments. But so far my personal favourites are when everyone but me and other player fold and i am out of position. And then to get free card or free showdown, opponent says "I`m going all in", before i have made my decision. So funny to bet or even shove it then and see them fold ♦
I have thought about this and i think it could be really good way to get more money in as i have never seen players say that when they have a hand. So next time i have a hand i could say something like it and make them think i dont... Well at least now i have such thoughts, most probably when will get back to tables will still play without chat anyway ♦
SonicXT: damn luckers
PTTB9x: i got it in good
SonicXT: euhm, no
PTTB9x: ehhh, YEEEAAAAAA
SonicXT: 36 %
PTTB9x: 100% cause I won'
SonicXT: moron
PTTB9x: but i was 100% on the turn and rier, so if you add taht up its like 80% for me
SonicXT: money went in on flop XXXXhead
PTTB9x: but the money was still in on the turn and river
PTTB9x: duhhhhh
SonicXT: wtf
Originally posted by SonicXT
SonicXT: damn luckers
PTTB9x: i got it in good
SonicXT: euhm, no
PTTB9x: ehhh, YEEEAAAAAA
SonicXT: 36 %
PTTB9x: 100% cause I won'
SonicXT: moron
PTTB9x: but i was 100% on the turn and rier, so if you add taht up its like 80% for me
SonicXT: money went in on flop XXXXhead
PTTB9x: but the money was still in on the turn and river
PTTB9x: duhhhhh
SonicXT: wtf
LOL
[ ] NL getting harder.