I just feel like the more i study about poker the more i suck...
Got starting capital, first played like 5sngs a day only. If I had bad beat streak and lost all 5 i just said "today is a bad day" , and didnt play till next day.
This way slowly but surely was going up from 50$ starting capital, got to 58..after got down to 54, then back to 58 and so on, never fell lower than 50 br.
After decided , ok i read more from strategy guide as bronze member, slowly but surely going to silver, more strategy, more videos nice..
Started reading some books.
One day played 1000+ hands, well, i played 9 hours straight with small brakes, always was fighting between 50-55 br.
Losing, getting it back, losing again, getting back, and so on..
After started playing 2 sngs at time, was ok win/lose rate, still break even or profit.
And so, after 2 days of breaking even, playing same SnGs, studying poker, learning..
I just... 30+ BI downswings... like,straight..not even 2 or 3rd place, not to mention 1st.
Like 10 times out of 30 i finished 4th because in push or fold stage opponent was just getting river luck
or just had low pair like 22 33 beating AKs AJo AQs...
I got killed by 23 calling my allin with KK and getting triples...
and thats on push-fold stage...
Got my bankroll to 30$ ... was hoping to win 2 sngs as i was good chip wise and around 4-5 ppl left at table, but then got called by some random rags preflop to my AA and of course lost.
Right now cant think of poker as anything else but gambling like roulette...
I just feel so dimished and stomped.
Feels like the more i study and play by the strategy the more i suck, or the opponents get stronger.
Maniacs, luckers...
whenever they win my AK or lets say KQ, with their rags, i said to myself "its just luck, who cares, they're gonna die in a long run..and im up for long run" .
Now i just feel like "i cant deposit all the time waiting for this long run.." .
And as the last chance, decided to play 1 more sng.. and quess what, yes, i get fullhouse on flop with my AK , chip leader now. See some rag on the hand, press fold and go to bathroom, come back - Sitout, press Im Back , didnt help.. i was marked sitout no matter what i do...
Friend told me restart the poker, i did, and it didnt let me even login. I felt like it was just saying "its ok, you gave us enough money today, go away." or like the system is just trying to convince me to commit suicide ![]()
Oh...and also i dunno if im too supestitious or what, but in 1 sng, 10 first flops and turns had 4 diamonds..always, and quess what? I never had a single diamond on hands at those games, and by the end of those 10 diamond flush games, i was out already with my AA :P...
Sorry for long post. Just writing this to myself to hope tomorrow will be better...