I am actually only a rec player, playing for fun ~ 2 hours a day, sometimes less, on the weekends more. I am taking the game quite seriously, saying, that I try< to improve, take coaching etc.
As a matter of fact my game is getting better, can tell this by many stats (although they are still very far from good), my ranges now vs. 2 years ago, the plays which I can make or not (which include some fold in the right spots)..... I have several huge leaks (like making calls in the wrong spots), but this year I had the feeling it is coming together.
However, currently, to be exact the last couple of months, the game is just becoming f...ing ridiculous. It is like dumping money down the toilet. Over all sites I had been playing I am about 80 BI's below EV. As much as I attempt to inject logic and be content with playing well, I am totally losing it. Of course I eventually make bad plays, get tilted and start spewing. But I have also become quite good to break out of such sessions and stop the bleeding. But when it feels like every single session starts by giving 2BI's away due to suckouts, and the occasional set over set, then the fun just stops. Just see my graph below for this week.
It is like running a 5 mile race and having to run 2 miles first to catch up with the field. Grinding from behind is draining and frustrating. I realize that trying to systematically build a bankroll while continuously improving is a challenge which is beyond my mental capability. I do not care about the cash, but I do not want to give it away either. Of course I will not jump into NL100 without beating NL25 first. Couple of years ago I was steadily winning NL10 and failing at NL20, but I could alway go back to NL10 to rebuild. Right now I probly cannot even beat NL2 (although I did not try, as I refuse to humiliate myself or pay the huge rake).
So most likely this is the end of it.
P.S. Please to not advise me to take up "The mental game of poker"
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