I've beaten the odds!
[J♦ K♣ 8♥ J♣ ??]
...okay, so it's one pair ($10) with 2 outs to 3oak ($50) and 6 to two pair ($25), so my expected hand value is $13.54, but in this promotion 500 points is very likely to get you absolutely nothing, so I consider myself ahead of the game (I calculated something like $7.50 expectation for each hand in this promotion). However, the promotion itself is quite dreadful and utterly transparently so. Is this typical for party? Rakeback isn't available and the points themselves are practically worthless; other than fast clearance of bonuses, they seem a bit short on perks compared to some other sites.