[Geschlossen] english text

"It's similar like a parachute but there you aren't just in the air without safety."

-Entweder "It's like a parachute..." oder "It's similar to a parachute..."
so ist's doppelt gemoppelt.
-Komma vor "but" und der Nebensatz liest sich etwas holprig.

"There in the height, we had such a lot of fun and the view was also wonderful."

-vielleicht etwas kleinlich, aber "wonderful" hast du schon im Satz davor benutzt. eventl. kann man hier: marvellous, gorgeous o.ä. benutzen.

"During the two weeks there, we also visited the known market in Side and spent also a day in a water park near our hotel."

- ein "also" würde ich weglassen, wobei es glaub ich auch "...and also spent..." sein müsste

"Furthermore we spent the rest of our holidays in our hotel."

-etwas konträr zum ersten satz, aber ich würde ein anderes verb für "spent" benutzen, da du es auch im satz davor schon benutzt hast.

"[...]There I relaxed at the beach, took sometimes a shower to cool down or otherwise went swimming in the pool or the sea."

- There = in the hotel?
Ist natürlich klar was du meinst, aber Ich würds lieber einfach weglassen.
- "sometimes took a shower [...]"

"[...]we spent some time of our holidays together with playing football or beach volleyball and in the evening, we also went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco."

- ich würde "with" rauslassen, weiss nicht obs so wie jetzt auch richtig ist, aber hört sich komisch an
- ähnliches für das "also" hier

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Keine Garantie auf Richtigkeit bzw. Vollständigkeit^^
Hoffe konnte dir etwas helfen.

thank you very much...
bist du englisch sprechend?

My wonderful days in paradise

My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks, my family and I went to Side, that’s a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey for about three hours by plane and bus, we reached the hotel and were very happy to have a wonderful view over the sea in our hotel room. After we had installed us in our room, we took our bath clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week, the weather was marvellous. There was always a gentle wind but we didn't care because it was very agreeable and that was perfect for the people who wanted to practise parasailing, wind surfing or something else like that. On one day, we also decided to go parasailing. There you are attached to a boat by a rope. It's like a parachute, but there you aren't just in the air without safety. That was a wonderful experience, which I will always remember. There in the height, we had such a lot of fun and the view was also marvellous. During the two weeks there, we also visited the known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel. Furthermore we pass the rest of our holidays in our hotel. I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower to cool down or otherwise went swimming in the pool or the sea. I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball and in the evening, we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco.

so hier habe ich noch den verbesserten text danke dir vielmals für deine zeit die du für mich geopfert hast...

Original von evgmalkin17
My wonderful days in paradise

My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks my family and I went to Side, that’s a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey for about three hours by plane and bus we reached the hotel and were very happy to have a wonderful view over the sea in our hotel room. After we had installed us in our room we took our bathing clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week the weather was marvelous. There always was a gentle wind, however, we didn't care because it was very acceptable and that was perfect for the people who wanted to practice para sailing, wind surfing or something similar . On one day (keine Kommas nach jeder einleitenden Zeitangabe!!!) we also decided to go para sailing. There you are attached to a boat by a rope. It's like a parachute (kein Komma, die moegen keine Kommas!), however, you aren't just in the air without safety. That was a wonderful experience (kein Komma!) which I will always remember. While being up in the air (Ich hab das mal De-Denglifiziert) we had so much fun("such a lot of fun" - Paradebeispiel fuer einen deutschen Satz im Englischen) and the view was also marvelous. During the two weeks over there (kein Komma!) we also visited the well-known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel.
Furthermore, (Und hier muss das Komma aber hin!!) we spent the rest of our holidays in our hotel.
I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower to cool off or otherwise went swimming in the pool or the sea. I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball and in the evening we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco. (Das haette ich nicht alles in einen Satz gepackt, auch nicht im Deutschen!)

so hier habe ich noch den verbesserten text danke dir vielmals für deine zeit die du für mich geopfert hast...

ob marvelous odr marvellous kommt glaube ich nicht darauf an das einte heisst herrliche das andere wunderbare...
oder ist nur eines richtig?

My wonderful days in paradise

My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks, my family and I went to Side, that’s a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey for about three hours by plane and bus, we reached the hotel and were very happy to have a wonderful view over the sea in our hotel room. After we had installed us in our room, we took our bathing clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week, the weather was marvellous. There always was a gentle wind but we didn't care because it was very acceptable and that was perfect for the people who wanted to practise parasailing, wind surfing or something similar. On one day, we also decided to go parasailing. There you are attached to a boat by a rope. It's like a parachute however, you aren't just in the air without safety. That was a wonderful experience, which I will always remember. While being up in the air, we had so much fun and the view was also marvellous. During the two weeks over there we also visited the well-known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel. Furthermore, we spent the rest of the holidays in our hotel. I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower to cool off down or otherwise went swimming in the pool or the sea. I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball. In the evening, we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco.

hier wäre nun die verbesserte version...
danke auch dir vielmals

My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks, my family and I went to Side, which is
a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey of about three hours by plane and bus, we arrived at the hotel [stilistisch hässlich: 2 sätze miteinander verbinden, die nicht wirklich viel miteinander zu tun haben] and were very happy to have a wonderful view over the sea in our hotel room [we were pleased to have a hotel room, from which one has a wonderful view over the ocean] After we had installed us in our room ka ob man das so sagen kann, install hab ich in dem Zusammenhang noch nie gehört , we took our bathing clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week, the weather was marvellous. There always was a gentle wind which did not matter to us but was great for the people who wanted to practise parasailing, wind surfing or something similar. On one day, we also decided to go parasailing. There you are attached to a boat by a rope. [ find ich halt stilistisch auch wieder sehr unschön, entweder du nimmst an, dass dein leser weiß, was parasailing ist und verzichtest auf eine erklärung, oder du schreibst eine vollständige erklärung...] It's [ka für was der text sein soll, im geschriebenen englisch gibts normaler weise keine Abkürzungen, 'it is' ] like a parachute however, you just are not in the air without safety. [ ich würds so schreiben: [..] decided to go parasailing, which is pretty similar to parachuting besides the fact that you are attached to a boat by a rope. The other difference is that you do not jump off a plane and then fall back to earth smoothly but rather are being lifted up by the air stream of the driving boat] That was a wonderful experience, which I will always remember. While being up in the air, we had so much fun and the view was also marvellous. During the two weeks over there we also visited the well-known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel. besides/apart from that we spent the rest of the holidays in our hotel. I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower or went swimming in the pool or the sea to refresh myself/cool myself down I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball. In the evening, we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco.

für to spend würd ich mich noch nach synonymen umschauen, das verwendest du ein bisschen häufig

My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks, my family and I went to Side, which is a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey of about three hours by plane and bus, we arrived at the hotel. We were pleased to have a hotel room, from which one has a wonderful view over the ocean. After we had installed us in our room, we took our bathing clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week, the weather was marvellous. There always was a gentle wind which did not matter to us but was great for the people who wanted to practise parasailing, wind surfing or something similar. On one day, we also decided to go parasailing, which is pretty similar to parachuting besides the fact that you are attached to a boat by a rope. The other difference is that you do not jump off a plane and then fall back to earth smoothly but rather are being lifted up by the air stream of the driving boat. That was a wonderful experience, which I will always remember. While being up in the air, we had so much fun and the view was also marvellous. During the two weeks over there we also visited the well-known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel. Besides from that we spent the rest of the holidays in our hotel. I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower or went swimming in the pool or the sea to refresh myself I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball. In the evening, we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco.

Danke vielmals für deine Hilfe..
anstatt spent soll ich pass nehmen ein paar mal?

Original von evgmalkin17
My last summer holidays were very adventurous and interesting. For two weeks, my family and I went to Side, which is a small town in the south of Turkey. After a journey of about three hours by plane and bus, we arrived at the hotel. We were pleased to have a hotel room, from which one has a wonderful view over the ocean. After we had installed us in our room, we took our bathing clothes and went down to the beach. During the whole week, the weather was marvellous. There always was a gentle wind which did not matter to us but was great for the people who wanted to practise parasailing, wind surfing or something similar. On one day, we also decided to go parasailing, which is pretty similar to parachuting besides the fact that you are attached to a boat by a rope. The other difference is that you do not jump off a plane and then fall back to earth smoothly but rather are being lifted up by the air stream of the driving boat. That was a wonderful experience, which I will always remember. While being up in the air, we had so much fun and the view was also marvellous. During the two weeks over there we also visited the well-known market in Side and spent a day in a water park near our hotel. Besides from that we spent the rest of the holidays in our hotel. I relaxed at the beach, sometimes took a shower or went swimming in the pool or the sea to refresh myself I also got in contact with some other young people so we spent some time of our holidays together playing football or beach volleyball. In the evening, we went to the open air cinema together or spent some time in the open air disco.

Danke vielmals für deine Hilfe..
anstatt spent soll ich pass nehmen ein paar mal?

kannst auch sagen we used our time to do... für spent

du benutzt 2x marvellous, ersetze das 1x mit gorgeous
außerdem würd ich die satzstruktur ab und zu umstellen z.B. while being up in the air,we had soo much fun
oder
during the whole week, the weather..
einfach mal umdrehen so wie We had soo much fun while being up in the air...dann haste nicht so viele relativsätze

''On one day, we also decided to go parasailing, which is pretty similar to parachuting besides the fact that you are attached to a boat by a rope.

Das on brauchste gar nicht. One day, we...
aber ich würd den Satz lieber so schreiben: We also decided to go parasailing one day which is pretty similar to parachuting beside (ohne s) the fact that you are attached to a boat by (with?) a rope.
Du setzt ziemlich viele Kommas.. im englischen ist das nit so wie im deutschen z.b. I have a computer which is very fast. Im deutschen würdest du da ja n Komma machen vor dem which, aber im Englischen braucht man das da nicht.

Kleiner Tipp: we had so much fun, man schreibt so mit 2x oo, also we had soo much fun

wow wirklich ein überagender text finde ihn einfach nur weltklasse...
nun beschäftige dich wieder mehr mit den strategy artikel als mit deinem english das wirklich ausgezeichnet ist.

danke danke finde ihn auch überagend...

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würde ich aber ändern...
das gehört da nicht rein