Hey mate. thanks 
Right now is 12 per day avg.
Ran another 5 last night. Made 2 bubbles. One went deep, 18th place. Still not good enough but getting closer to FT 
Really need to work on my steal/re-steal at late stage. I think I've got a bit defensive, too careful, well if I want to be honest, scared! Guess it is because I have been away from the field for long time now and I feel like that I can't afford to lose.
Originally posted by M0na1isa
The Fish Code:Fold is a lie, there is only call.
Through call, I hit cards.
Through cards, I gain chips.
Through chips, I gain victory
Through victory, my pockets are filled.
The Poker shall free me.The Shark Code:
There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no bad beat, there is variance.
There is no passion, there is patience.
There is no luck, there is skill.
There is no end, there is the Poker.
Regarding to this! I agree!!! But, on some sites, there is no variance, just crap! But I might have been running on the wrong side of it the last 400000 hands with ridiculous random numbers generated... 
But, great mindset!
I have to tell you that this was great reading! Will be following this!
Well thank you ^^
Regarding to this! I agree!!! But, on some sites, there is no variance, just crap! But I might have been running on the wrong side of it the last 400000 hands with ridiculous random numbers generated... But, great mindset!
Well it is actually Sith Code/Jedi Code which I tuned
Always thought sharks rather be Sith, but their code is more fishy.
I'm not sure if it is going to be different on various platforms. Probably this topic has been discussed 7 zillion times already 
I know how it feels though, sometimes after so many bad beats you'll kinda lose the will to live, once I lost the will to pee! Which was worse. I had drank a lot, and really needed to pee. Break was 8 minutes away when I had my aces cracked by AJ on a 257 rainbow flop, guess turn and river yourself.
So I was ♠_confused: and the fish was 
so I ♠_evil: and he 
so I remained ♠_mad: and watched Parks & Recreation for 2 hours and didn't pee!
Originally posted by M0na1isa
Regarding to this! I agree!!! But, on some sites, there is no variance, just crap! But I might have been running on the wrong side of it the last 400000 hands with ridiculous random numbers generated... But, great mindset!
Well it is actually Sith Code/Jedi Code which I tuned
Always thought sharks rather be Sith, but their code is more fishy.I'm not sure if it is going to be different on various platforms. Probably this topic has been discussed 7 zillion times already
I know how it feels though, sometimes after so many bad beats you'll kinda lose the will live, once I lost the will to pee! Which was worse. I had drank a lot, and really needed to pee. Break was 8 minutes away when I had my aces cracked by AJ on a 257 rainbow flop, guess turn and river yourself.So I was ♠_confused: and the fish was
Ahahahaha... ♦ LOL!!! HUGE LOL!!!
Hello children. How you been?
Well since you asked I'm alrite. Been better for sure, I'm not at a very easy stage in my life at the moment. Yes, I don't have my private island yet I know. It's been really hard. But still alrite. I feel I'm breaking the stillness, and that does feel good.
Getting back in the field has its ups and downs. Good thing is I'm getting way too many bad beats, I'm probably experiencing a major downswing. And that doesn't make me feel bad ♦ Been sharing hands with some of mates and had so many loler hands. It is fun. And no, I'm not being sarcastic.
Still breaking even. Not going up, not going down. Some downswing eh? Well it is, cause I should've won a lot of money but I lost em to lady luck. But no worries, she is really into me. She loves my inner beauty (which I have none, should've gone for my amazing exterior, yay me!). But she's just in one of those phase when you hurt to attract. So I'm gonna have to tolerate that. But will take care her out soon (hidden meaning= I will ship a big tournament soon).
I plan to grind a lot more $2.5 180. Some 500/1000cap MTTs, probably $2.2 +R and $8.8 FO. And a $11 once per session. Probably will use that for tournaments with big pay offs. Might go for big $11 every night. Cause when I win a marathon I really like it to worth something. Probably winning 70 flips in 11 hours for $550 is a bit disappointing.
So, I'm gonna try this plan for now. Really want to get out of this break-even stage. Need to win some money, would be a spirit boost!
Hello children <3
Was in a dark mood for a week. Couldn't write anything. Did write a letter to Lucifer though, contents are classified ♠_confused:
Ray Bitar got arrested. I'm not sure if at all can be counted as a good news 'give me back my money please' wise but as 'if someone steals $10 will get arrested asap but if someone steals $330 million walks 15 months free but after that he surrenders very suspiciously' wise was definitely good news
Still struggling at break-even stage. Not fun at all. Had some deep runs, 14th was is the best one at a 850 field, another 20 something in a way larger field can't remember now 
In one of my deep runs my mom PMed me "make a FT now! it's been almost a year!". The other night she was asking me how come I'm not winning anymore?! Sadly I've disappointed her >>>>>8(((((( ...yes when i disappoint people I tend to turn into a pineapple!
Last month on FTP, I ran 99 MTTs, 15 ITM, 8 FTs. +$7K net profit. Compared to back then I now suck for sure 
But I don't suck (heh gotchya!!) Playing way larger fields now so facing a much higher variance. So will get there ♠_biggrin:
But been crushing 180mans. So decided to put more volume in them and less in micro MTTs. I think I will be moving up faster this way and I'm much more comfortable playing medium BI MTTs. People tend to pull less stunts in'em.
btw, here's a proof of what I mean by "crushing" em CRUSHING!!!
Planning a trip to Cyprus. And with WPT being there I really like to &$*# it all and play all events ♠_cool:
But that being an out of reach dream atm, I decided to set up a goal for myself. To play a major live event by the next summer (not get broke during the process!). So I'm gonna get back on my feet and grind the &*#$ (yes different word) out of 180mans ♠_evil:
I never let bad beats get to me. But ...
Lost with AA 13 out 17 times.
Lost with KK/QQ against lower pair 11 out 19 times.
Lost flips 89 out of 100 times well u think that's bad?
Lost AK/AQ against Ax 43/50 times ♦
Don't wanna even start with other countless situations
Most of them at critical spots facing huge pots. I know volume will cover variance it's just I just started playing again, played around 500 MTTs, -$300 till now I think and luck is beating the crap out of me
Well, oopsie, just lost another KK vs 99 ♦
Anyway, I think I should look at the full half of the glass. I'm losing cause of bad luck, not because I suck 
Why in the hell you spend your time that you can use productively counting how many times you've gotten unlucky?
anyway gl
Originally posted by M0na1isa
I don't count em mate they're in the DBBut ok, end of my thoughts. Maybe you just don't understand what I was trying to say. GL
Oh I get it now, you're absolutely right. I should stop fixating. Thanks for the support mate, I think it helped <3
No offense monalisa, but think stripofbacon is absolutely right here. It will only get you more frustrated looking into these beats Im sure youll have good news to post sooner or later. If youre right about you playing fine, its just a matter of time! A good pokerplayer is someone who grinds away his downswings keeping its motivation to reach his goal. I consider 500 games with no significant score as part of the game. I definitaly still believe in you and cannot do more than hope for the best for both of us! so GL, and keep us updated here. Really like this blog!
Life is cruel. Probably have heard that many times before. Only books & Hollywood got happy endings. Real show is one hell of a dark comedy. Your giggles are only a mere acknowledgement to your misery. Just getting through it is very hard and it's getting heavier every passing day.
Some people believe in that. For some is not about belief, it is the solid reality they're facing and feeling with their flesh and soul. For me it was never that black.
Life is wonderful. It's full of opportunities and loads of happiness. No matter how low you feel, how dark the night seems to you, there'll be always a sunshine which will brighten your life again. Enjoy every moment of it and be happy. Because happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Well, it wasn't that white for me neither.
I think I walk in a grey area. I'm sure most of you do the same. I don't tell myself life is cruel. Maybe if I wanted to be a starving writer that would've helped me. Well, I like to write but hate to starve (FYI not fat at all!). I don't think everything is wonderful neither. I'm sure we all have a good life, on many levels. But what I'm also sure is we all want more than what we are given.
Not cruel or wonderful. But I know it can be both. Just a matter of which I want more. I don't say whatever you "want" you'll get. I don't boost my confidence like this or try to boost others by selling them this crap. I don't believe in fate. And as long as fate is dead everything will be possible. I know there are many things in life that are inevitable. I don't have any problems with those. But everything else can be changed. Life is a challenge.
I was watching BBC Life the other day. It is really amazing you guys should watch it. I've never thought much about animals or other living creatures before. But while I was watching this, man oh man! the challenges they go through!
Life is a challenge. A variety of challenges to be precise. And for the reasons I've mentioned before, I picked Poker as my challenge. Doesn't matter how smart, efficient, brave, lucky you are. You are not destined to success. Or even if you suck lollies not destined to fail. Every single decision, every thought, every motion, ever fragment of luck can push you forward or pull you down. Yes, I believe there is no going back in Poker. Even if you lose, then win back all your money as stop playing forever does not count as going back. Something has changed inside of you forever.
This challenge is not a fun ride full of glamour and fame and sex with everybody and free chickens for life (if you know where I got this I you). It is a hard challenge. And it challenges you on many levels. Financial, emotional, logical, ...meh all levels!
It is a game where you need to be as skeptic and arithmetic as a applied mathematician but sometimes need to act as crazed as a fortune teller or be free spirited as a runaway hippy. It is a game where you should never rely on luck but need to be lucky to success as well. You need to be patient, observant, calm, merciless, but sometimes you need to be an idiot to win. It is a hard challenge, but rewarding.
In this challenge, I will be facing seven things (like all the other good stories). I will get into them later ♠_cool:
Not sure if reading this was fun, but writing it sure was ♠_biggrin:
PS-FTP deal is done..
Well adrenaline is down a bit now. Congratulations to everyone, not just those whom had money stuck at FTP but indeed today was a great day for Poker. That we can again start trusting the industry and authorities. I know there has been many dodgy things going on and we're just getting our own money back probably after 19 months or so with not much of an email saying "we're sorry!".
But it could be a lot worse than this. Not saying their personal agendas had no role in this whole deal but at least they did something for our sake too. We're getting our greens back. Greens which were losing colour every passing day in that dark fiasco. But now we can see the colour again.
My personal thanks to all those reporters whom had no gain but tried to keep us all informed and never did let the rays of hope die.
Also to admins, mods and members of Pokerstrategy's forums whom all with their constant moral support and nice words kept me going through all this.
And my friends and poker mates whom all tolerated my nagging
I wish all the best for American friends whom I really do miss at the tables. Hope to see you soon enough. Let them hear your voice that you want your freedom back.
Mortgage is way behind guys, this indeed was good news
Had the champagne ready from Friday since the last rumours surfaced. ♠_biggrin: Cheers everyone.
To better days!
