Yao, yao, yao
I guess i could do this poker thing on my own, but having a blog and talking to others may be EV+. So there it is. I have had one blog before, in other community. Only content there was me whining about my miserable life, and how poker is unfair. Really pro attitude. I have decided to move on, ask mods to close old blog. I choose the biggest community to carry on, because i think i can get massive feedback here, and give something in return.
I know there are people that dont take party in any community, maybe only speak about hands here and there, and they are successful players. I, on the other hand, feel like i have to share my journey with others. Blog will be also a place when i can track my progress, if i make any.
How i am doing now? I dont know, i dont play. I have found wonderful game of poker somewhere in the golden years 2005/06. I didnt know i can play for real money back then (FML), so i played on play money on some site for a while and few times live micro stakes with friends. I liked the game, but had other thing to attend at university and shit so i quit playing, and i didnt know any live games was going on besides those with friends. In 2010 i saw that some of my friends are playing poker at Zynga on facebook. I gave it a shot and got hooked again. After a while i have started to wondering if i can play on REAL MONEY. I googled some forums and found pokerstrategy. In October 2010 i received starting capital at PartyPoker and my journey has began for real.
The money factor revealed serious mindset problems which i am fighting even now. In the peak of my bankroll i could play NLH25 (6max), but after couple of bad beats i didnt move down, instead i spew 2/3 of my roll on NL100. I didnt play regularly, and when i did play it was short recreational sessions. Playing poorly and making 10k hands a month i was wondering why i'm not making any progres skill and bankroll wise.
In the begining i told myself i will never give up. 2 years passed since i started playing on real money in interwebz and my roll is 230$ and im stuck at nl10 sh. I have decided to put my shit together and start making progress. It is what i want to do, from various reasons, and i wont give up. Every time i fall, getting up is only thing i can do.
I didnt play because there was always something going on. I wanted to be on a party more than i wanted to play, i wanted to be cool, more that to be a poker player. I liked watching TV series, movies, youtube, forum and shit more than watching trening video for poker. I was doing everything, except poker. Hell i even loved sleep more than making some volume. From time to time when i did actually play, it was sloppy and without any sense.
When i got sucked out i was tilting so furiously i think i was near heart attack 
Recently i have read some books about mindset in general (mainly in life) and i learned about things i didnt know that they have existed. I have got to a point where i can understand what i feel and why, so tilt is not a serious problem now. I tilt normally like everyone, but now i gratefully accept it. There are times when condensation of bad thoughts is too excessive to carry on playing, but i can identify those moments.
I acknowledged that when im focused and well i can play pretty good, but when im detached i put my spewy monkey hat on and play terribad.
As i said im playing NL 10 SH on P* and some small site where i got flat rakeback. This month i would like to review my overall gameplan, watch videos on how to learn effectively and then get to videos on mathemathics in holdem because im bad at doing maths ATM. I have decided to foucs on poker and poker only. No meetings with friend, no partys, no 
and alcohol, no movies, games and everything else. Eat, sleep, poker.
Im 26 yo, living in poland in the city of the kings (witch castle and shit). Im on last year at university, studying Law, but i hate it. No major obligations in life. My English is on high school level so there will be alot of mistakes 
I would like to get the f**k out of the country next year. Probably i choose thailand if there will be a possibility. It is what i always wanted to do, disappear in the orient ♦ In poland the minimum wage is 330 Euro, so basically it is slavery. If you are making 500 euro per month it is considered nice income ♦ For foreigners poland is dirty cheap, so if you are making decent volume you can sustain yourself playing nl50 here. Still i found that condos and flat rental is cheaper in thailand, so the moment i can afford the trip im outta here.
Heres an example how i play when on autopilot and dont know what the hell im doing. Villain is 70/20 after 100 hands but not too agressive AF 2.0 when he doesnt have shit he folds. And what he will raise me here with? You know it, i knew it, but i talked myself hes a FIIIIIIIIISH and cant play ok, so i spew few bucks - why not.
Hero (CO): $10.43 (104.3 bb)
BTN: $26.56 (265.6 bb)
SB: $9.16 (91.6 bb)
BB: $8.96 (89.6 bb)
MP: $8.33 (83.3 bb)
Preflop: Hero is CO with A♠ K♦
MP folds, Hero raises to $0.30, BTN calls $0.30, SB calls $0.25, BB calls $0.20
Flop: ($1.20) 9♦ 2♦ 6♦ (4 players)
SB checks, BB checks, Hero checks, BTN checks
Turn: ($1.20) Q♦ (4 players)
SB checks, BB bets $0.10, Hero calls $0.10, BTN raises to $0.50, 2 folds, Hero calls $0.40
River: ($2.30) 4♦ (2 players)
Hero bets $2.30, BTN raises to $6.40, Hero raises to $9.63 and is all-in, BTN calls $3.23
And some music
cheers
thats bad, i dont have money to invest in poker tracker4...
And there are ~15 NL25 and ~10 NL50+ tables (not counting short, 9max and Cap)
Suddenly after verification i received 25$ bonus out of nowhere. 
![:]](https://www.pokerstrategy.com/_forum-runtime/wp-content/uploads/wpforo/emoticons/pokerstrategy-legacy/basics/pleased.gif ":]")
On the bright side it will motivate me to not fool around when i sped money on pt4. Holdem manager 2 i got for free, i won it in competition - so to speak. But i have to say Hm2 is very slow and buggy, not to mention frequent freezes - not so good generally.