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Another spectacular break even week to report, I may have profited a slight bit but we're calling it break even. I was up probably about 1.2K on the week and then Sunday hit and I ended up making one run in a major but as that went to shit do the rest of the session. One of those fun hours where you feel like you're going to take over the poker world and then by break you feel like the world has collapsed and you never want to play poker again 
It happens and as a poker player I have to realize that it's just one Sunday and that's how most of them are going to go so I just need to move on. Obviously when we are sitting at the desk trying to finish out our Sunday it's so much harder to tell yourself to stop bitching and round on. I don't know how it is for most of you but I want to win everything, from the 1r's to the majors, I just hate losing and it's probably something I should work on. At the same time it's that passion for the game that fuels the need/want I have to play which has gotten me this far. So like in life, poker is a double edged sword with this gross love/hate feeling for it. But I wouldn't change it and I love every moment of it from the agony of defeat to the thrill of victory, the rush is what keeps us coming back. Well that and money ♠_cool:
You might notice the nose dive in the first graph. That is what we in the business call, tanking a Sunday 
Breaking even is a step on the way to crushing. I know that comes off as so cheesy and what not but it's true. We poker players are going to have out ups and downs and when the downs start flattening out a bit and we start FTing things like I have been, it's just a matter of time. We just have to keep grinding, working and studying. Poker is a great job and opportunity but just like in an other career nobody is going to hand you anything. Those who are at the top and remain there are there for those reasons. Challenge yourself, take shots you don't feel comfortable, take a thinner line in a hand trying to get more value, just try to see the game through a different set of eyes. If we don't push ourselves how will we ever know what we are capable of?
I said last week that my roommate was moving out and I think he leaves Thursday. Still not sure how I feel or what to think of the whole matter but I don't really have a ton of time or space to be concerned about it. I have two weeks until a liveament comes to a casino about 90 minutes from me. I'm in make up with the backer so I need to be grinding as much as I can get to get out of it before that this. I've played this liveament twice before but have really just used it as a semi vacation. I will be taking it much more seriously this time around as it's really one of my last big shots to bink off some cash before Vegas and every dollar counts. It's a $1100, 2 day event, re-entry allowed on day 2 and you can even re-enter for the first 6 levels (50 minute levels) of either day. They run $250 sattys to the main and then they run $60 and $90 STT sattys that feed into the $250 sattys to the main. I live in the US, in area where poker is really popular, but due to lack of online sites to play on the standard of play over all in America is just awful. Not to say that live players are great in general but these players are stuck in 2006 and that's being nice. Anyways it's going to be a soft field with lots of dead money and a decent structure so our goal is to get there. If my backer won't take 100% of the action I will probably just take 60% on my own and sell the rest. I would rather he just take 100% but I'm in make up and he's not that keen on taking live action as it is. (crossing fingers)
I was going to take off today but I spent a lot of time with my girlfriend last night and she was the one that thought it was best I play today, so here I am. I will be playing through Friday, do the normal satty Saturday and then back at it on Sunday to actually win a major this time! I mentioned last time I am thinking about dropping the third site and I think I still might do that. I played it on Sunday and might just do that and keep it as Sunday/weekend option, but for now I'm not going to play it during the week.
Not sure if any of you are on the Microgaming Network but they just changed their MTT schedule and it kind of sucks imo. Maybe I am just missing stuff, so if you have any suggestions or any information regarding where they are trying to head as a site, let me know. Lasty, I have to give a shout to our guy Edmund. He was 2/3 legs into getting a Triple Crown all week but alas I think he fell short. TC's are great because of the money but it's really something that only a handful of grinders have and it's an awesome accomplishment. Don't worry Ed, you'll get it!
GLGL
-BobbyPossum
It's been a long time since I've posted which is a big disappointment to myself given that keeping up with this was a big goal of mine. My downswing has continued and it has been a rough go of it for my mentally and physically. I found myself finding every excuse for things going wrong and I was getting so down on myself that the mountain began to seem unclimbable. Fortunately for me I have an amazing support crew that is helping me get through it and things are starting to turn around. From my backer, to my friends, to my amazing girlfriend, to fellow grinders I speak to, they were all telling me the same thing. That if I keep my studying and work hard, try to keep making the right decisions at the right time, that the results would come. I finally started to believe in myself and took some drastic measures to bring in more volume with less variance.
I've changed my schedule to the polar opposite and I am now getting up at 4:30am and playing some smaller buy in stuff that is easy to get deep in and FT. It's been a great boost of confidence and has really helped me get my game back to where it should be. Pre Black Friday went into the biggest downswing I had yet experienced. My backer suggest, didn't request, that I start playing 90 mans on FTP. They were soft but still challenging a bit and you are always deep in a few when you have 16 of them going all the time. I took his advice and found that it really helped me re tune my fundamentals and get back to just playing poker instead of constantly trying to out level and out think the other players. I dug myself out of the make up I was in and re entered MTT's with a new found confidence that ened with some great results.
None of the sites I play really have any sort of of SNG traffic so instead I really did my homework and examined the schedules of the sites I play. I found a set of tourneys that are essentially SNG's and I can only get max 6 going at once so it has helped me focus on every hand and not leaking in small spots I might not have noticed before. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited to play again, I am confident in my game and I am enjoying my life much more. I really think that game selection, even in MTT's is very crucial and if you're not trying to pick a schedule where you're most profitable most of the time then it's something you should maybe think about. There is nothing wrong with wanting to challenge yourself and we should all take shots. But we should also be self aware enough to shed our egos and play tourneys in which we feel are not that exciting to win but pay the utility bill.
Anyways, I now have a ton of time in the morning to review and read some stuff that I wasn't able to before. I really enjoy really getting more involved with the poker world by other than just playing. I read more blogs, read more forum posts, watch more vids and am just involved on a higher level now. Maybe variance is starting to edge away a bit, who knows for sure. But what I can tell you is that I didn't do what most grinders tend to do when on a downswing, which is stop playing or really curtail their volume. Now, breaks are important, they help us keep perspective and sometimes you need to just be away from the game. I did that but I also just refused to find excuses and starting looking inward on things I could do to improve game and enable me to start loving poker again. A downtick isn't going to just stop one day so keep your head up and just grind through it while trying to maintain your A game everytime.
There will be much more to follow here soon lads so hopefully I will get some more readers soon.
GLGL
-BobbyPossum
Originally posted by BobbyPossum
It's been a long time since I've posted which is a big disappointment to myself given that keeping up with this was a big goal of mine.
familiar. Very Familiar.
Originally posted by BobbyPossum
... I finally started to believe in myself and took some drastic measures to bring in more volume with less variance.I've changed my schedule to the polar opposite and I am now getting up at 4:30am and playing some smaller buy in stuff that is easy to get deep in and FT. It's been a great boost of confidence and has really helped me get my game back to where it should be. Pre Black Friday went into the biggest downswing I had yet experienced. My backer suggest, didn't request, that I start playing 90 mans on FTP.
Early bird catching the worm? Man. That. Is. Early.
I've never played FTP. Maybe I should give that a go sometime. Being a creature of habit, I suspect it will be about 6 months before this thought gestates into action....
Originally posted by BobbyPossum
... I took his advice and found that it really helped me re tune my fundamentals and get back to just playing poker instead of constantly trying to out level and out think the other players. I dug myself out of the make up I was in and re entered MTT's with a new found confidence that ened with some great results.None of the sites I play really have any sort of of SNG traffic so instead I really did my homework and examined the schedules of the sites I play. I found a set of tourneys that are essentially SNG's and I can only get max 6 going at once so it has helped me focus on every hand and not leaking in small spots I might not have noticed before. For the first time in a long time, I'm excited to play again, I am confident in my game and I am enjoying my life much more. I really think that game selection, even in MTT's is very crucial and if you're not trying to pick a schedule where you're most profitable most of the time then it's something you should maybe think about. There is nothing wrong with wanting to challenge yourself and we should all take shots. But we should also be self aware enough to shed our egos and play tourneys in which we feel are not that exciting to win but pay the utility bill.
Anyways, I now have a ton of time in the morning to review and read some stuff that I wasn't able to before. I really enjoy really getting more involved with the poker world by other than just playing. I read more blogs, read more forum posts, watch more vids and am just involved on a higher level now. Maybe variance is starting to edge away a bit, who knows for sure. But what I can tell you is that I didn't do what most grinders tend to do when on a downswing, which is stop playing or really curtail their volume. Now, breaks are important, they help us keep perspective and sometimes you need to just be away from the game. I did that but I also just refused to find excuses and starting looking inward on things I could do to improve game and enable me to start loving poker again. A downtick isn't going to just stop one day so keep your head up and just grind through it while trying to maintain your A game everytime.
There will be much more to follow here soon lads so hopefully I will get some more readers soon.
GLGL
-BobbyPossum
Suspect the extra work away from the table is what I need to do as well.... Sigh....I'm such an inherently lazy slob when it comes to working on my game. I have just finished a binge on the "Orphan Black" tv series (series 1). A time of procrastination aimed at avoiding having to watch any poker videos.
I'm hoping your post will instill enough guilt in me that I'll knuckle down for maybe a week or so and do some study.
I would appreciate more posts detailing your continued success, built on your hard work away from the table. I would then be able to look at my self in the mirror, wag my finger threateningly, and say "If Bobby Possum can work hard and succeed at poker, you need to work hard to give yourself the same opportunity for success.". To be followed with a self-administered upper cut if I haven't done anything for a day or two.
It was a very good post and a great idea! You could even do something with your backer where you add 5 dollars to a "major" mtt fund every time you final table something then at the end of the month plannhowmto spend the fund on "fun tournaments"
Aaaaaaaaaand I'm back. Still having a rough go of it but I'm still logging a lot of volume with smaller loses so I guess you could say that's a silver lining. I really think my confidence is lacking and I just need a win to get myself back into form. I've found that because of this lack of confidence I've become a player that I normally am not. Which is passive and timid 
Anyone that knows my style of play knows that is not me whatsoever and I'm not sure why I ever tried to go down that road. To be honest, I think it's a popular trend with me when trying to improve my game. I flat way more and end up out thinking myself and just never put my agro style to it's optimal use. In fairness I do think this is pretty common for most grinders as we're all trying to improve, but when we lose sight of our individuality as a player it just becomes a leak more than anything.
On the bright side, the girlfriend is moving most of her stuff in, all be it slowly. Having her around has been a bit of distraction with her getting ready the morning and walking around in close to nothing as she prepares for work/school (sick hidden brag, but not so hidden) ♦ But I'm getting used to having her here and falling back into a routine so I really am just trying to stay in a positive state of mind and trying to shake off variance. I know, I said in previous posts that using variance as an excuse is a huge life leak for a lot of players, but I have to face the reality that I'm running about as bad as I could probably expect. If we look at almost any MTT player's graph what is almost always followed by deep valleys are huge peaks. So I am just going to focus more on my game instead of trying to watch so many vids so I can spot my own leaks.
Sadly to say for the group of players that I chat with on a normal basis, nobody has really been winning money this year which makes our group chat pretty inactive. Not being able to bounce hands off other players or just vent has really taken it's toll on me so I'm really trying to keep that in mind. Being the positive one in the group can spark the same in everyone else and before you know it moral is turned around and things start going in the other direction. I always try to tell myself that no matter how the day goes that I get to play poker for living. I get to play a game, be my own boss, I have a people that are so awesome and supportive and......well............I get to play a game I love for a living. I know I said that last bit twice but it's rare that ANYONE gets to do what they truly love for a career and on top of that my passion is a game, a silly little game played with 52 cards. "Takes five minute to learn, but a lifetime to master." I'm not sure that a better sentiment can ever be said about almost any form of poker.
The fun and excitement is what draws us all to the game, but the intrigue and fire inside all of us to be better is what will separate any novice grinder from the 1% of people that can actually make a living doing so. It doesn't matter if you're Pleno (up some ridiculous number around $400K this year) or if you're a $1 STT grinder, being the best player you can should be something that each individual takes pride in. As I said I have been reading The Mental Game of Poker. It's all about tilt control and how to manage your mental state at any given time. I agree with a lot of what is said but a good friend of mine made a very good point that always stuck with me. If you're not getting angry about bad beats or aren't excited about winning big pots and running deep in MTT's, then you probably don't care enough. Now, I applaud players like Cal that live in the moment and are over a hand the second the next hand is dealt. But keeping within yourself and knowing who you are as a player is just as important. If you're not zen like, don't try to be. If you're emotional, be emotional. Just be yourself, I say that cautiously because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression that tilting is ok. My point was rather to be self aware, know your leaks both in poker and life and do what you can to plug them, move on and improve. But make sure you are still the player you set out be and want to be as nobody else can figure that out for you.
I'm just ending my session now with potential to profit ♠_cool: so let's hope that happens. But with tomorrow being Friday, I have high expectations. Each day could be the day that turns everything around and things just start to click and fall into place. I always try to approach weekends with just that attitude as the player pools get bigger and more fish filled and the prizepools get bigger. Poker is a fun game after all, sometimes we just have to step out of our own way to realize how fun it actually is. It's been a busy week but I plan on updating this at least two times a week so I hope that people are reading.
GLGL
-BobbyPossum
Hello Hello again my friends. I hope all of you are rolling in monies after your SCOOP grinds. I'm sure some of you are loving the best online series after a few results and the larger majority of you are probably hating it as we can't all be winners. If it helps, misery does love company after all, I am still not a winner for this year yet either 
As cliche as it is, I'm staying positive. The weather here has finally turned and it's been amazing for a week straight. Where I'm from is amazing and I love it but winters are harsh and long so when summer finally arrives it's pretty fantastic. The uni just finished it's spring semester so now 40,000 students have left the city so things calm down around here a bit which is pretty nice. This weekend is a pretty big deal here in Madison if not the entire US of A. Memorial Day weekend is really the kick off of summer for us, pools open up, people grilling out daily and the boats start flocking to the lakes. Also on this weekend every year Madison is host to The Worlds Largest Bratfest, I know that probably sounds lame to most of you but it's a pretty awesome event. Wisconsin is known for 3 things really, Brats, beer and cheese. Two of which are celebrated over this 3 day weekend in grand fashion so I'm excited to see friends that are coming back home for a bit and am ready to get back on a steady grind again. ♠_cool:
My girlfriend will be headed back up north to spend time with her family as we will be taking off for Siena, Italy for the months of July and August. She was offered a fellowship to go study at the uni there and immediately asked me if I wanted to go with her. Obv I'd love to be in Vegas for the summer but spending two months in Italy with your amazing girlfriend is pretty hard to pass up. That being said, living in Vegas last year was probably the best experience of my life for a number of reasons. The first of which being it was my first chance to really live with and be surrounded by my peers all trying to obtain the same goals I am. Obv being from the states makes it really hard to relate to people as most think what I do is a joke or they are overly interested. The online grinders I do know of from here aren't really at the same level I am and tend to be a bit lazy so I really don't get a chance to talk poker. Living in a four bedroom house and finally getting to meet people that were just voiced on Skype before was pretty awesome to say the least. Perhaps I was fortunate enough to be involved with some great guys but it's not an experience I would've traded for the world. Grinding online with them, to sweating live events, to bumming around the strip/going out, to playing OFC a lot (I mean A LOT), it exceeded my expectations and I look forward to doing it again next summer.
As I've stated before one of the mates I got a chance to live with and got to know on a personal level was Patrick Leonard. All of the guys I stayed with last year are grinders but Patrick was more involved in the whole aspect of poker than anyone I had ever met. The way he viewed the game and just what it meant to be a player, blogger, coach was refreshing. He seemed to be truly happy as a player, which I have to is rare among poker players. I got to spend a decent amount of one on one time with him and it really changed my view on a few things and inspired me to be more involved on any level I could be. If any of you follow him you realize that his quest to,"play more mtt's this year" has paid off in a much bigger way than I think even he could have imagined. Coming into SCOOP I think few could argue that there was a hotter player out there for the year. That translated into him FTing two SCOOP Mid events ($215c and $215 plo8) for which he got a 5th or 6th I believe and a 2nd, both for about $25-$27K I believe. He followed those results with managing to get I believe 22nd in the $10K High Main, a field of which contained every sicko with a PokerStars account. Ballers gonna ball and such. I'm obv a fanboi but I think being a fan of other players is one of best parts of poker. We live in a world where actually meeting the players in which we really like and follow is a real possibility. If we take a look at the Poker Boom this concept is never more prevalent. Chris Moneymaker winning the WSOP main made every player with a $100 in their account really believe they too could have a similar result. 
It's a unique world, poker. It's like nothing else that I have ever experienced and the range of personalities that are involved is what makes it so amazing. If you get the chance this summer, head out to Vegas. Even if you're not rolled to play WSOP events there are so many other casino's running their own series that you can find a tourney to fit almost any bankroll. Just being out there for the experience is something every player should make an attempt to do as often as you can. Vegas in the summer is a true dreamland for any poker player and it gives you the chance to either,"lose your shit" when you see Doyle in Bobby's room your first night there. Or yell,"Hey, it's Chino Rheem" as you see him walking to dinner at the Rio. Plus day clubbing and walking the strip at night aren't too bad either 
Beautiful women are everywhere, guys too if that's your thing and it's an atmosphere that is unrivaled.
As for me, back on the grind as my girlfriend will be gone for 10 days so there will be no distractions. My training vids for another site have been solidified and I'm happy to say that the first one is out ♠_biggrin: I'm not thrilled at how the first part came out but I can only improve on them as I go along. It's exciting times in the world of Possum and for the first time since I can remember I'm 100% excited to be grinding. This year with the downswing it's felt more like a job than ever, which it is a job, but I think if you really enjoy playing/grind, it shouldn't feel like work.
For those of you heading to Vegas, I'm jelly like a donut and I wish you nothing but the best.
As always, GLGL!!!
-BobbyPossum