WARNING!!! Going pro… If you don’t like hard…

Eatyourpeas · 2014-09-01T13:46:05Z

Hi everyone!! Some of you will know me from [Edit by NutzAreOk] and as PG+Cer on 2+2 (KP24). I have recently been accepted onto [Edit by NutzAreOk] Coaching For Profits programme which has been my desire for a long time! I applied last time Gordon took some students on (you may have heard of HansTheGreat, Rovar and JurassicDaniel) but was correctly rejected. This time, however, I felt my case was extremely strong and after much pressure Gordon has taken me on! My plan is to work ridiculously hard over the next year or so. I will stay in full-time employment and dedicate 50 hours per week to poker on top of my job. There will be some loss of family time during this period but I hope to maintain most of my precious family time by giving up other hobbies first. At the end of this "period" I hope to give up the full-time job in order to spend much more time with my family than I can now. Poker Background. I have played for around 5 years now but my volume has always been very very low (see below), I am talking in the regions of 10 to 15k hands per month average. I have never had to redeposit since I initially deposited £5 to play and always said I would not put any more money into poker other than what I make myself. I started playing MTT's on Skypoker (did not know cash games even existed!) and made enough money to pay for a couple of holidays (guess would be $4000). Finding cash games was big for me because I struggled to find the time to play MTT's once my daughter was born and also due to my full-time job. I started at 6 max NL10 at Pokerstars and very gradually built up to taking NL50 shots (breakeven over 30k hands on second shot so far). Personal Background. I am 43, married (2 years) and have two children aged 5 and 3. I work full-time in a builders merchant at management level (I think) which takes me away from home for 55 hours per week (includes travelling). I have a 50% share in a property portfolio of 9 houses with my friend (this does not bring any cash-flow but is more of a long term investment). This has prevented me playing poker for perhaps 6 weeks of the year as a few properties are rented to university and require some improvements each summer ;). My wonderful wife is supporting me 100% in this venture which I will always be grateful for. Without this support I could not even contemplate doing the programme :heart:. Over the last 10 years or so I have improved my life tremendously (thanks to my wife, AJP, DTP, IRS and my family) doing things such as giving up smoking, going from drinking every day around 20+ units of alcohol to now drinking once per week (still 20 units mind you ;) ), getting married (never thought anyone would marry a drunken bum like me), having two kids (did not expect that department to work ;) ), training in Tae Kwon Do, starting a property portfolio with my friend etc etc etc, all a big work-in-progress so far! Poker Goals 1. Turn pro as soon as possible (at least $100k per year but of course aiming way higher), within one year would be cool. 2. Become a respected coach as soon as possible Other goals 1. Spend as much time with my family as is possible (this is my number one driving force). 2. Continue to expand our property portfolio. 3. Become a life coach teaching people to better themselves and that anything (almost) is possible! 4. Set up another side business with my property partner (diversification). Cliff Notes. Work hard, make dollar, have more time = be fulfilled and be able to help others achieve fulfilment... Any questions just fire away, be grateful of any support too!

Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

07.09.2017, 13:10 0

Fantastic holiday, amazing in fact. Family time is just the best thing in the world!!!

Honestly, poker-wise I am struggling to get back into the fantastic "groove" that I was in just before my holiday (been back 3 days). In a way I understand that (back to work, kids back to school etc) but at the end of the day it is (mentally) weak and separates okay from excellent.

That's not to say I have done nothing by any stretch of the imagination. It is just not to the standards I am trying to set for myself.

I have played a few sessions and done my meditations and a small amount of study.

I have done my exercise workouts every morning before breakfast and have pushed my boundaries every time. At the moment that is my main focus on almost everything I do - PUSHING MY PERCEIVED LIMITS.

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Yesterday...

I studied for 50 minutes (target 100)...

- Session review (all spots good).
- 15 hands BB v BTN facing flop cbet (review and quiz)

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I played for 100+ minutes (target 100)...

Mental game is massive for me in game now. Honestly I cannot believe how bad my mental game was (and still is). Improvements are showing and they are obvious to me as I play. Long may the improvement continue!

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Hard to imagine playing without doing this first now. Affirmations/visualisations too.

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I studied mental game for 15 minutes (target 10)...

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

INCOMPLETE INFORMATION

The skill in poker comes from creating certainty where there were previously unknowns. I don't know their two cards but I can assign them a range and use history and tells to fill in the missing information.

Say there are 10 unknowns in a poker hand (hypothetical). A fish can fill in one or two, a pro can fill in 7. The pro creates certainty where the fish cannot. The pro has an information advantage.

Same for mental game. Say there are 10 unknown variables to a mental game issue. Mental fish have the skill to fill in one or two variables (but believe they can fill in 7). This is what causes the mind to go blank - the fish scours the mind for the answer and cannot find it so it races - they check the cashier - they rush decisions. The mental game fish cannot figure out how to slow down.

When I try to fill in more unknowns then my mental game allows it is like trying to out level a better player.

FUEL TO PERFORM

Fear can cause a host of problems BUT when experienced at low levels it can help me to perform at my highest level and get into the zone. Having adrenaline pumping primes the senses.

The ability to thrive under pressure gives a distinct competitive advantage. Someone who can thrive like this might well do better than someone of much superior skill but who cannot handle pressure.

When addressing issues of fear, the goal is to identify and break down the underlying flaws in my mental game that turn my questions into fear.

One example is believing that just feeling anxious or fearful means that I will play/perform badly. When I feel nervous or anxious my mind cannot answer why it is that I feel this way or what it will do to my performance. This inability to answer creates more anxiety eventually shutting down my mind. Then I associate failing with anxiety and learn (incorrectly) that anxiety is bad.

Since, in this case, I learned how to fear my nerves I can also learn how to use nerves to play my best poker.

More benefits that fear and/or pressure provide:-

1. As with tilt, anxiety shows up the underlying weaknesses in my technical game and how I approach mental game. it helps me to identify what I need to improve.
2. Pressure is critical for learning. When my nerves get fired up to the top of the performance curve I become a "learning machine" that can pick up on subtle details in the action that I could not normally see.

"By embracing anxiety, I am in a great position to capitalize on it"

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Up to pdf page 80 "Fear profile"

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So yeah, a large part of my focus is on my mental game leaks right now. It is crossing over into my non poker life a lot too. I have realised how effed up my mind really is lately and what a waste of potential I have been.

I am ready for my next poker coaching session but I am also very aware of previous mistakes I have made (in life as well as in poker) with regard to learning strategy. I do not want to overload myself with information.

Life is very exciting for me right now...

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

08.09.2017, 12:12 0

Hated my workout this morning! Went for a run (I hate running) and ended up back at home, lying on the floor in a heap, gasping for breath with a face like a beetroot!

On my way round I saw two people running together chatting. I immediately thought "what is the ****ing point of getting up at 0600 to go running if you are not really pushing yourself?". And at the point I realised that that is pretty well what I have spent MOST OF MY LIFE doing! Sailing along happily in my comfort zone!

Pretty sickening thought to be honest. I am (extremely) happy to say that I am getting out of that now and I am pushing myself as much as I can.

(Exception: When I did CFP at BPC I worked my ass off. The only thing I got out of that was learning that I can get by on 4.5 hours sleep a night for 14 months. That actually kind of made it worth doing! Oh I learned a few other things about how NOT to do some things too I guess ).

I really pushed myself working out. In fact I am injured now. Feels pretty good to have pushed myself that hard. Hopefully learned a good lesson there.

Almost everything I am doing at the moment is mind or "mental toughness" related. At the poker tables I am focused almost 100% on watching my mental game.

I am on a MINI-heater at the moment so it has almost been disappointing to not "test" my mental game! Last night, however, for most of the session I was card dead or folding the bottom of my range and I was thinking "good job, you are playing your A-game and saving money here" - a totally different state of mind for me. And then I flopped quads versus a fish and ended up booking a small win!

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Yesterday...

I studied poker strategy for 40 minutes (target 100)...

Fail. No excuses but I actually had something better/more important to attend to!

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I played poker for 100 minutes (target 100)...

Mental game is so much better. And I have only just got started on this!!!

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I studied mental game for 15+ minutes (target 10)...

Actually this is way off. I am doing so much "life" mental game work at the moment that this is probably 240 minutes! #mentaltoughness

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

FEAR PROFILE

Before addressing the fears I need to recognize and understand.

Best way is to identify patterns of doubt, anxiety and fear.

Questions:-

- What situations usually cause doubt, anxiety or fear?
- What are earliest signs of fear?
- Do I struggle with any of the things listed at start of FEAR chapter (answer was YES). Describe them in more detail.
- Can I identify the point when anxiety goes from helping to being excessive and causing problems?
- How do I experience anxiety (eg heart races, sweating, nausea, dry mouth, foot/hand tapping etc)?

Analyse my patterns and think about the below five common symptoms of fear. People view these as inherently bad and negative but they are not. They are associated with the underlying flaw(s) causing my fear. Understand them to get a step closer to removing and solving my anxiety and fear problems.

FIVE COMMON SYMPTOMS OF FEAR

1. OVERTHINKING
Fear makes my mind race, go round in circles and obsess over one thing. It is because the mind cannot find the answer to the underlying question. Because the antidote to fear is certainty the mind does everything it can to find the answer. When desperate it continues to exhaustion or distraction.

The mind is limited to a finite number of things it can think about at one time so WRITE DOWN MY THOUGHTS/WHAT I AM WORRIED ABOUT. This makes it easier to figure out the underlying questions I want to answer. Once the questions are identified, write out the answers.

Overthinking creates confusion and clutter in the mind. Like having a cluttered desk - I cannot find what I am looking for. Writing things out helps to unclutter it and then use the mind more efficiently to find answers.

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Up to pdf page 80 - "2. NOT TRUSTING YOUR GUT"

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Took a look at "The Honest Guys" on Youtube. Might be worth a look, tried one and was a 7/10 imo. Will try another one...

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It's all good. Really good.

I almost despise being "comfortable" right now. I sure wish I hadn't spent 46 years being so comfortable. What a waste. Plenty of time to make up for it! Let's go!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

09.09.2017, 08:41 0

Today I am going to the horse racing! We go to Stratford Races at this time every year now since my stag do in 2012. Could be painful tomorrow!

Yesterday...

I studied poker strategy for 60 minutes (target 100)...

It's okay as I transferred time to studying mental game as that is something I am really focused on right now as I have found a big "improvement opportunity".

I studied my notes from previous coaching sessions.

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I played poker for 140 minutes (target 100)...

Really good session. I lost but my mental game was great. Had a cool hand where I 3bet QQ (COvMP) and 3 barrelled my over pair to get called down by AA. Standard but it was a good opportunity to observe my mind. It wasn't perfect but it was pretty good!

I was card dead a lot but I feel really good at the tables lately, totally different in fact.

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I studied mental game for 45 minutes (target 10)...

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

2. NOT TRUSTING YOUR GUT
I know what to do but go against it. Because I don't trust the answer.

What is the gut? It is the not knowing this that justifies not trusting it. The gut is skills learned to the level of Unconscious Competence reacting to the question/situation with an answer (remember this is not necessarily 100% learned correctly though). JT compares it to an athletic reaction in sport (citing basketball player adjusting ball in hand to avoid defender). It is instinct. On the mental level the gut does not have to think the answer just comes.

When I don't trust my gut I am not trusting all of the work I have put in to learning. When the gut is right I learn to trust it. When it is wrong I must realise that this shows me a weakness in my knowledge base to work on. Correct that weakness, gut becomes more accurate, game improves!

NOTE TO SELF: Notice that I often do NOT trust my gut when fear/doubt/uncertainty strikes me and I do the opposite (usually fold and avoid a possible big "mistake"). Sort this out!

3. SECOND GUESSING (Huge for me!)
When I am playing I get the urge to know the correct decision in hands I have lost (BIG TIME!). I replay the hands in my mind (BIG TIME!). I sometimes review the actual hand history (OFTEN AND WHILE PLAYING SOMETIMES!). Always questioning. Often it was a close decision and not knowing the correct play is agonising.

Second guessing means I have doubts and questions after my decision. If can be fuelled by a desire to not lose more or to not make any more mistakes. Being distracted like this makes both of these MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN! Take a note and do the work after the session.

4. PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
Playing is like a test of what I know. If I have performance anxiety it is when I put so much pressure on myself to be right that I end up overthinking, not trusting my gut and second guessing my decisions. That in turn makes me play worse and makes it harder for me to access my poker knowledge.

I must test my game when I play instead of not trusting my gut, overthinking and second guessing. Then I can more accurately gauge my strengths and weaknesses to see what I need to work on. Then do the work and improve for the next test!

5. NEGATIVE FUTURE
Extra fear caused by anticipating the fear of future events. This fear of fear causes mistakes to be made, delays in starting a session, avoiding high variance plays, playing less poker overall. Created by the belief htat predictions will actually happen. Not just thinking one will play badly but knowing it.

This fear prevents clear thinking and so makes mistakes and playing badly (and losing) more likely. Turning the fear into reality. Prepare, inject logic, do the writing exercises in the nest part to make it less likely the predicted negative future will happen.

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Up to pdf page 81 "GENERAL STRATEGY"...

Also spent some time reading through my TILT PROFILE and updating some things.

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Used The Honest Guys again, quite liking their stuff.

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I'm really on a high at the moment (more than usual). I feel like I am finding my purpose and learning how to realise my potential a lot more.

Time for some beers... Have a great weekend amigos!

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TheLearningM1ndset

Joined: 09.09.2017

Posts: 26

09.09.2017, 19:35 0

hey EYP,

great blog. i have been following here and there from the start, thanks for keeping it up for the years!

i have a question for u, i havent been able to answer, prolly coz i missed a lot of the pages to get here.

--> i see a lot of effort from u (deffo way more than usual microstaker) and almost everywhere i looked u ve been winnig. how come u re back to micros? (sorry if this is answered before)
what are ur poker goals for the next 1 year?

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

10.09.2017, 12:07 0

Originally posted by TheLearningM1ndset
hey EYP,
great blog. i have been following here and there from the start, thanks for keeping it up for the years!
THANK YOU FOR KIND WORDS...
i have a question for u, i havent been able to answer, prolly coz i missed a lot of the pages to get here.
--> i see a lot of effort from u (deffo way more than usual microstaker) and almost everywhere i looked u ve been winnig. how come u re back to micros? (sorry if this is answered before)
I WAS BREAK EVEN AT HEADS UP FOR 14 MONTHS (WHILE AT CFP @ BPC)...
LEFT THERE AND WON $4500ish OVER NEXT FEW MONTHS AND GOT TO 100nl HEADS UP...
DECIDED TO MOVE TO 6max ZOOM (TOUGHEST GAMES?) BECAUSE I AM MASOCHIST...
BEEN BREAKING BREAK EVEN THERE FOR WAY TOO LONG! (DUE TO FLAWS IN MY KNOWLEDGE ABOUT LEARNING PROCESS AND TILT/CONFIDENCE/FEAR ISSUES)
what are ur poker goals for the next 1 year?
ON 10/9/2018 I WILL BE PLAYING 200nlz (POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE)

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

12.09.2017, 13:22 0

I had a great day out at the horse racing! 10 of us met in the pub at 12.00 and 5 of us made it until midnight.

The other 4 were smashed but as I fully expect my kids to jump on my head the morning following a booze-up I try to miss a few rounds of beers out! Sunday was surprisingly "okay"!

I had 3 winners out of 7 races so I think I made a few quid. Just picked the best names of course - gambling is a mug's game!!!

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I went to Wing Chun training last night. My neck is still really hurting me from Friday and I know that previously I would have not gone to class but would have taken a rest. I just told my instructor and did as much as I could. It actually loosened it up a bit but an hour after stopping I was slamming pain killers down my neck again!

I was awake at 0500 this morning as my neck seized right up overnight. I hauled myself out of bed (lying still is the WORST thing I can do) and went out for a run. F U running!

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Yesterday...

I studied poker for 105+ minutes (target 90)...

1 x flop analysis v GTORB
3 x review previously analysed flops
1 x re-read coaching notes and make short notes for pregame routine

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I played poker for 85 minutes (target 90)...

Whoops, miscalculation of time. Wound my session down before realising and going back for 5 mins seemed EV-.

Playing A-game much more lately but still gotta work a lot on fear and confidence issues.

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Box breathing plus some visualisations.

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I studied mental game for 30 minutes (target 20)...

It is kinda huge for me at the moment so doing a bit extra on this for a while. Probably will reduce again after next coaching session (Thursday).

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

GENERAL STRATEGY FOR RESOLVING FEAR

Start by writing down the thoughts and underlying questions to do with the fear. By making it external I can look at the details more objectively. Two writing exercises follow...

PLAYING OUT THE FEAR
What's the worst that can happen? Commonly asked of people trying to get over a fear. Here we are going to take it a step further.

Start by writing down the answer to "What is the worst that can happen?" Then go on and ask follow up questions like "Why is that bad?"; "What would happen?"; What would you do?"; "How would you feel?"; "What is the solution?"

Answering these questions will help me to better understand what is causing the fear.

Then I need to directly address the fear by breaking down the underlying flaw, doing something productive, thinking better.

Example of "playing out the fear" of moving up (from the book not me!)...

What is the worst thing that would happen if I moved up and lost? "I would lose money and confidence."

What would that do to me? "I would have to move back down and build my way back up."

How would that feel? "It would suck. I have been grinding for a while and cannot seem to break through. I cannot figure it out."

Have I done everything I can to figure it out? "I have done a lot but maybe there is more. I don't know, I'm just not sure what to do."

How could I find out? "I could ask around. I have a few poker friends who could probably help. I could post on forums. I could hire a coach."

Why does it suck to go back to the grind at lower stakes? "I just want things to be easier and not have to go through these constant ups and downs. It is so frustrating. I just freak out whenever I play higher."

What do I freak out about? "I don't know, I guess because I've failed so many times my brain locks up and I play like a donkey. I just want to make it so badly."

How can I make it more likely that I will succeed? "Probably by putting in more work. I tend to blow it off when things aren't going well and I just need to be more consistent with it. It may not be fun but it's the only way."

So now there is a productive step to take: Do more work, especially when I don't want to!

This won't eliminate the uncertainty or all of the fear of moving up but it is a step in the right direction.

What is causing the fear is a desire for success at higher stakes to come easily and the uncertainty of how to improve. Using this technique helps to dig through the layers of fear to find the cause and than a way to resolve it.

Most people play into their fear (in this case it would be by avoiding moving up). The overall goal is actually to break through the fear so it no longer holds me back!

ANSWERING QUESTIONS

When questions remain unanswered they stew in the back of my mind and undermine my ability/effort to play solid poker. The longer the questions remain the more problems they create.

First step: State the uncertainty I have in my game in the form of a question.

Examples:

Second step: Reword questions about the future that cannot be answered yet.

Examples:

Third step: Answer each question.Do not think the questions are stupid or illogical - they are reasonable.

Answer them and this develops the certainty needed to resolve the fear.

I cannot eliminate uncertainty in poker but I can eliminate fear.

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Up to page 82 "COMMON FEARS"

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Same plan for today... Overcome self-perceived limitations...

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

13.09.2017, 14:54 0

I had to wave the white flag last night!

Neck was hurting still and I had taken all of the recommended doses of paracetamol and ibuprofen. I envisaged a night lacking in quality sleep so ended my session a little early and hit the sack.

If I could get to sleep quickly AND sleep through I could get a massive 7 hours 30 minutes sleep. I somewhat doubted it though as last few nights my neck seized up in the night and kept me awake.

BUT... I slept through! AND my neck feels a bit better today! I will train Wing Chun tonight but take it carefully and hopefully it will be gone fully by tomorrow.

Such an old decrepit git these days!!!!

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Yesterday...

I studied poker for 110+ minutes (target 90)...

1 x flop analysis v GTORB
3 x testing myself on old flop analyses
Reviewing coaching notes from Victor

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I played poker for 60 minutes (target 100)...

Just had to cave in to the need for rest! And the wife had me making stuff for her school kids too!

Mental game improvements were really good again. I think it is largely a reflection of how bad my mental game was before but my study of The Mental Game Of Poker seems to be really paying off.

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Box breathing and visualisations.

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I studied mental game for 25+ minutes (target 20)...

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

COMMON FEARS

FEAR OF FAILURE
Failure has different meaning for different people. For some it just means missing a goal but for others it DEFINES THEM.

Fear of failure is not necessarily bad as it might force me to work hard and succeed. For some people though it can be disastrous!

In competition someone has to "fail". Fearing it might be me is common. The pressure to succeed causes over thinking decisions, only playing when feeling perfect, obsessing over lost hands (all symptoms that I have). These things all make failing more likely.

Common advice about fear of failure makes the solution seem simpler than it really is (for most). The fear of failure is often caused by underlying flaws that are not well known. Resolution can only happen when ALL of the flaws causing this fear are fixed.

LIST OF TYPICAL UNDERLYING FLAWS THAT CAUSE FEAR OF FAILURE (players typically have more than one):-

- HIGH EXPECTATIONS: Having ideas of how much I should be winning, how high my win rate should be, what stakes I should be playing. When they are not met I am unable to understand why I fail. That causes anxiety and fear. Solution is to turn expectations into goals. A goal is slightly different as it is something to strive for and I know there are necessary steps that need to be taken to get there (whereas an expectation is just supposed to happen). Seeing it as a goal hopefully means I will make adjustments to learning strategy when the goal is not met rather than taking no action to find the cause of failure. Having high expectations causes fear of failure because I have not learned how to use failure to help me succeed.

- CHOKING IN BIG SPOTS: Not knowing WHY one chokes in big spots can cause fear to develop. Not knowing WHY means I am unable to prevent it or see it coming. Then this uncertainty makes me protective against failing, causing further paralysis and thus making it more likely to happen again. Choking over a big decision happens when accumulated fear rapidly overwhelms the brain shutting off thinking. Identify the underlying cause of the fear and follow the steps in section Accumulated Emotion.

- TRYING TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CAN'T: Spending time trying to control variance or other players means I am less focused on playing well. These things are out of my control. I must keep my focus on controlling what can actually be controlled and work on better understanding the factors that I cannot control.

- FAILING TO SEE SUCCESS: If I don't recognise actual successes (however small) then it appears I am failing at a higher rate. Search poker history for previous successes and recognise them. Do this steadily over a few weeks.

- TRYING TO WIN EVERY SESSION: Cash players often believe it is possible to win every session. Then if I lose one session it means I have failed! This is an expectation that is beyond reach - so everything short of it becomes failure. To solve this prove that it is unattainable and realise why I don't even want it to be so. Set realistic goals rather than unreasonable expectations.

- THINKING SUCCESS SHOULD BE EASY: If success comes easy for a while then it may cause struggle when one hits the first setback. Fear quickly sets in "will I ever win again?". Setbacks are normal. Learning how to get back to work during a setback is a skill (so develop it!).

- THINKING YOU'RE A FAILURE: If failing in poker makes me feel like a failure then there is a lot more on the line than just money. This type of fear manifests by not trying hard, not putting the hours in, not working on game enough. If I did those and still failed it would be too much for my confidence to handle. An underlying confidence problem is the cause of this fear. Restore confidence and the fears disappear (see Chapter 8). Be aggressive in correcting the underlying cause(s) of my fear of failing. Expect setbacks (normal part of learning). Setbacks are NOT failure.

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Up to pdf page 83 - "Fear Of Success"

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I think 7 out of the last 9 days have been sugar free! And on the other 2 it was negligible. I made sure to ask the wife not to put Kit Kats in front of me now though!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

14.09.2017, 11:01 0

I hit bad traffic driving from work to Wing Chun. It takes about 50 minutes usually and I was approaching half way and it was looking unlikely I would get there on time. I would usually take the easy option and take the fork in the road home, especially as my neck was still sore. Kinda forced myself to push on and it felt pretty good afterwards! Neck is back to 90% now!

Almost had a sugar free day until I realised I had had tartar sauce with my scampi! Damn that *!

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Yesterday...

I studied poker for 115 minutes (target 90)...

Made a quiz for "flop OOP as PFR"
Took my quiz for "flop BB v BTN SRP"
Reviewed and re-wrote coaching notes

I just realised I am not reviewing my played sessions. Back on it tomorrow!

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I played poker for 90 minutes (target 90)...

Mental game work is becoming really good fun now.

If I am card dead my attitude is "yeah, I am still here, come at me variance!"

I lost a medium pot and did not know in the moment if it was a mistake or bad luck or whatever and my thought is "I did what felt right, don't get involved in mind *, play the next hand the best I can and maybe review it later..." (turned out it was something I don't expect to know yet and trying to learn it right now would clutter my mind so move on).

I am almost in a situation where I WANT to be tested by some bad variance but I am running okay lately!

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I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

This is one I really like...

I settle myself in and calm my breathing. Then I just breathe in normally. On the out breath I recite one letter of the alphabet and go through the alphabet as per normal.

So breathe in... Breathe out and think "A"... Breath in... Breathe out and think "B"... And so on.

The idea is that it is something really easy to do whilst also just observing where my thoughts go. Having the alphabet there just helps to notice when I have gone off on a tangent and is something to bring myself "back" to.

I really like it, give it a try!

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I studied mental game for 30 minutes (target 20)...

20 minutes studying and making notes of TMGOP and then an extra 10+ minutes going deeper into my "Fear of Making Mistakes".

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

Spoiler

FEAR OF SUCCESS

Less common than fear of failure but can be as bad. Hard to identify as seems so illogical.

Why would I fear success?
- Handling the attention could be tough, especially if not outgoing/social.
- The spotlight can make people become arrogant etc. Could fear becoming like that.
-Fear of others saying that the success is not deserved.
- Undervalue own ability and feel undeserving of success.

Underlying fear of success is a confidence issue. Players with stable confidence can succeed without it changing them or their approach to poker. See Chapter 8.

Make sure to get pattern recognition of the fear. Then when the fear signs show up (playing poorly, lacking focus, not playing at all) inject logic and break through the fear.

FEAR OF MISTAKES

The fear of mistakes is caused by errors in how I view the learning process.

Mistakes are a VERY important part of the learning process so fearing mistakes suggests that I also fear learning.

The signs can be hard to spot so watch out for these:-

- Rush a tough decision to get the hand over quickly and end the agony of uncertainty (DONE THIS).
- Quitting after the first (possible) mistake no matter how big or small (DEFINITELY THOUGHT ABOUT OR EVEN DONE THIS).
- Treating all mistakes equally. Anything less than perfect is not acceptable (I USED TO THINK LIKE THIS BUT AM BETTER NOW).
- Hesitating, overthinking, second guessing decisions (OFTEN).

A few reasons to fear mistakes. First, after working and studying I might be lead to believe I won't make a mistake twice. Then if I do make it twice it shocks. Once the disbelief wears off it gets replaced by questions about my game "How did it happen?"; "How can I be so dumb?"; "What more can I possibly do?". My game then feels out of my control and fear multiplies.

Also can fear mistakes if I believe they should never happen. This belief increases the pressure to play perfectly which creates performance anxiety which leads to more mistakes. Can try to prevent mistakes by trying to learn EVERYTHING and working as hard as possible. However, this excess of knowledge makes it harder to decide which bit of strategy to use under even the slightest pressure which then leads to more mistakes.

The underlying flaws that cause fear of mistakes also create mistake tilt (some get angry some develop fear). Make sure to refer to section Mistake Tilt and Fear of Failure.

---

Up to pdf page 84 "Fear of a Bad Run"

---

Loving every minute of this journey lately. But I have probably written that a thousand times!!! Seems as long as I feel growth I feel really good!

Coaching with Victor tonight!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

15.09.2017, 14:49 0

Great day! I did 45 minutes extra study AND had my coaching session.

In the coaching Victor found lots of problems with my thought process. Also I had over compensated in a spot we worked on at the last session. A lot more work is needed in GTORB but that was totally expected.

We worked on my play OOP as PFR in the previous session and I have not drilled that hard enough. In fact I have hardly drilled it at all. I have still been drilling the BB v BTN flop stuff until the last week or so and I know I will still have to return to that BB work a lot.

I need to work on turn and river now as well. We looked at quite a few hands where I made bad decisions, often weakness. I need to re-watch the session but I think it is going to be hard for me as it was quite a wide ranging "topic". I will re-watch it and write here what I am working on exactly...

---

I went for a run this morning and pushed myself harder than my last one by running a bit further/for longer. A couple of times my mind was making excuses like "take a breather, walk for 10 seconds" but I managed to tell myself to suck it up and push on.

I also had similar thoughts with my poker study but made myself do a little bit more. I think the mindset work from running is starting to roll over into other things now. AKA I am not being such a fairy!

---

Yesterday...

I studied poker strategy for 135 minutes + 90 minutes coaching (target 90)...

50% extra PLUS coaching! Gotta be good!

2 x Flop analysis v GTORB for UTG v BTN
1 x Take quiz for OOP as PFR
1 x Re-write coaching notes from previous

---

I played poker for 30 minutes (target 45)...

Coaching got brought forward a little so I did not play before the session. Afterwards my brain was totally fried and I did not really want to play. Kinda forced myself to put a little session in but I played lower stakes than recently.

---

I meditated for 10 minutes (target 10)...

Guided from The Honest Guys as I needed calming from outside!

---

I studied mental game for 20 minutes (target 20)...

The section I am currently studying is pretty massive for me. Must come back to it and do some big work...

Spoiler

The Mental Game Of Poker (Study Notes)

FEAR OF A BAD RUN

Usually happens to people who have already had a few before. However, with so much talk about bad runs (forums etc) it can develop without ever having had one.

A bad run can hit my bankroll, decrease confidence, stifle motivation and cause tilt. Every time a bad run is experienced the negative emotion piles up. It is not completely forgotten. Then even when on a good run it is not enjoyed so much as one is waiting for the bad run to come.

Although a bad run does damage the bankroll the main reason the fear develops is more to do with the actual experience of running bad. Of course losing money is not good but remember it is a long term game. The only tough part is dealing with it mentally.

It is reasonable to fear all of the negative emotions that come when on a bad run. The long term solution is to address the specific issues (tilt, confidence, fear) that make it so hard to handle. When the experience of running bad becomes less chaotic then the fear of having a bad run can get resolved.

After improving in those areas I can push through the fear by injecting logic. Look at it as a challenge to prove just how much better I can handle it (this is EXACTLY what I am doing right now). This approach goes a long way to reducing the fear. Once I can get to knowing that a bad run is not going to feel like a beating I can break through the fear of a bad run.

There is a really great "Client's Story" in the book by Pascal "Stake Monster" Tremblay. It helped me understand that I might also fear running bad more than I should.

FEAR OF MOVING UP IN STAKES

"Breaking through into a new limit is easier when avoiding a common results oriented view of moving up". With a fear of moving up players view the process as "do-or-die" but instead should say the goal is to establish themselves at the next limit. Players with fear want the end result but there is a real possibility it won't happen (at least a few times) so there becomes tonnes of pressure on every decision (definitely experienced this!).

To take some of the pressure off I might only play when the games are at their most profitable. At some level this is a good idea but it also feeds into the thought that moving up is about bankroll rather than getting to the skill level required to be successful at the new limit over the long term (definitely I think incorrectly like this).

The fear of moving up could be eliminated by using a strategy that focuses more on developing skill. Instead of seeing it as "taking shots" and hoping to win rather look at the first few times playing higher more like a "reconnaissance mission" to gather intelligence on:

1. The strengths and weaknesses of the field.
2. The weaknesses in my game that are not getting exposed at my current limit. Poker strategy AND mental.

Gather that information and work on the weaknesses at the current limit with less pressure and smaller consequences. Move up and down between limits to test and work on my game. Each time I will get stronger. Eventually I will be good enough to stay there and can work on becoming a solid, winning regular there.

Review Fear of Failure section and make sure to have a limit on how much bankroll to invest in this strategy.

---

Up to pdf page 85 "Risk Aversion"

---

So another great day, always feel really good after days like this. Feel like I left nothing out there and did my best.

Tonight Helen and I are going away for the weekend to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary! A nice hotel with swimming pool/spa etc and hopefully a couple of nice meals in the restaurant. Really looking forward to it.

Have a good weekend amigos. Keep pushing!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

25.09.2017, 14:20 0

What happened!? Personal issues kept me away from blog for a while. Nothing to worry about and not going to explain. Not much poker happened for 10 days (but some)...

Dear Diary...

Sunday 24th September 2017

Fulfilling My Potential

Positives (Poker)

1. Targeted longer sessions without break (but still take regular ones) so I can increase volume. Conclusion: Did it but must be wary on work days that I don't slip into auto pilot.

2. Get out of comfort zone with bluffing turns/rivers and calling turns/rivers. Conclusion: Better. Will be expensive for a while! So study it!

3. Check raise. Conclusion: Better. Watch the board!

Negatives (Poker)

1. Had an opportunity to study for 30 minutes in the morning when family were all busy. I started and got distracted (not even sure what by). Conclusion: I will let me off this time as it was unplanned. Fulfilling potential involves taking these opportunities by the scruff of the neck so do not waste them!

---

Positives (Non Poker)

1. Spent 100% quality time with my daughter and her friend. We learned how to make slime! We made 4 batches! Conclusion: When my family do actually get my time give them 100%, no looking at pc, no mobile phone, no nothing! WP.

2. Helped my wife prepare stuff for an event she is organising at school. Chopping up wood and smashing pallets up for fire wood. Conclusion: Family time - give 100%. WP!

3. Spent 1 hour checking over finances regarding my property portfolio and checking the current market. Conclusion: I need to make sure I keep some focus on this and not take for granted the hard work I already put in.

4. Cold shower. Hot shower then 25 seconds of cold shower. Conclusion: Out of comfort zone AND feels great afterwards!

Negatives (Non Poker)

1. Wife hinted that we (the other 3 in our house) don't show our appreciation for all the good things she does for us. Conclusion: She is right. I will teach the kids how to do this and will make sure to do a better job of it myself. A trip to the florists to start methinks!

---

I studied my last poker coaching session in great detail. I spent some time in GTORB. I have realised that I had no understanding of poker before this and my eyes have been opened (or maybe the blindfold has been removed).

Currently my game is going through a huge change. A totally different way of thinking (I am not necessarily saying it is going to be profitable). It is going to take me out of my comfort zone a lot. I need to keep working on my mental game and keep drilling in my study.

---

Thought for today...

"Listen pu**y, stop asking yourself what the least you need to do is, and start asking yourself how much you can bear" - Tom Bilyeu

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

26.09.2017, 12:00 0

Fulfilling My Potential - Monday 25th September 2017

Positives (Poker)

1. Check raise more - 10/10 (definitely did it more than ever in good spots).

2. Study every chance possible - 7/10 (super busy day but could fit some more in).

3. Barrel turns rivers more - 6/10 (need to study it more as I am just missing spots).

Negatives (Poker)

1. Finish session and cool down FAST - 1/10 (time is so valuable but I took too long to shut pc down and move on).

2. Prepare - 4/10 (I need to do some of my pregame/session prep earlier so on the days when I am really busy [wing chun, mon/weds etc] I can get more time at the tables).

---

Positives (Other)

1. Helped out more at home! - 10/10 (Angelic!)

2. Mindset - 9/10 (Doing everything better and bigger to achieve potential)

3. Other - Trained Wing Chun and a sugar free day!!!

Negatives (Other)

Can't think of any!

---

Really good day. Got some clarity on a few personal goals and felt like a big step in achieving potential in life. There is more. Much more.

---

Thought For Today

"Only those who risk going to far can truly find out how far one can go" - T.S.Eliot

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

27.09.2017, 13:28 0

Fulfilling My Potential - Tuesday 26th September 2017

Poker Successes

1. Play 120 minutes - 10/10 (played the maximum time with still taking some short breaks)

2. Check raise good spots - 9/10 (got carried away with one spot)

3. Cbet turn more - 7/10 (more than ever but sure I can do more)

Poker Fails

1. Study 120 minutes - 2/10 (did 90 minutes, mostly out of my hands but excuses can GTFO)

---

IRL Successes

1. Give family 100% - 8/10. (Had to spend some time with my son as we have a lot to talk about! Did couple of menial chores)

2. Sugar free day! - 10/10 (Had my moments)

3. Cold shower - 10/10 (6th time)

IRL Fails

1. Exercise - 0/10 (Excuses can GTFO - take responsibility)

---

That was a busy day.

We have got some personal issues at home to work on but it is nothing we cannot handle.

---

Tomorrow...

Check raise like a beast, cbet turn like a beast, cbet river like a beast. Study like crazy. Wing Chun. Prepare really well as time is going to be short. Make sure to write goals out twice per day.

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

28.09.2017, 15:32 0

Fulfilling My Potential - 27th September 2017

Poker Successes

1. Play 100+ minutes - 10/10 (Played 121)

2. Check raise! - 10/10 (Checked them and all look good)

3. Cbet more turn/river - 8/10 (Highest numbers yet but lolsample. Not reviewed hands yet)

4. Study 120 minutes - 18/10 (Studied 220 minutes [plus 10 mental game] aka #MASSIVE ACTION)

5. Prepare for session better - 10/10 (and that's how I got 121 minutes in!)

Poker Fails

1. Missed a flop was 3 way not heads up - 0/10 (not sure what to say, hard to be 100% with my schedule but shouldn't do this. 6bb down the toilet)

---

IRL Successes

1. Train Wing Chun - 8/10 (Have to give myself good marks just for getting there in the local traffic! My standard has dropped a lot though, want to improve but too many things???)

2. Write goals 2x per day - 10/10 (Big goals baby! Before work and before bed)

3. Do some chores to help Helen - 8/10 (Wash up, empty dish washer. Small fry really but every second counts ffs!)

4. Cold shower and meditate - 10/10 (Just call me Wim Hof okay!?)

IRL Fails

1. Finish session, cool down and get to bed QUICKLY! - 4/10 (Not good enough, wasted too much time)

---

One of my best days. Kicked the **** out of procrastination. Took #MASSIVEACTION. Fulfilled my potential. Love it.

Tomorrow...

Dentist. Let's see what FEAR has on offer for me there! Study loads. Play as much as possible (target 120 mins but gonna try and stretch it). Fun time with son.

See you in GTORB mates!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

29.09.2017, 13:06 0

Fulfilling My Potential - 28th September 2017

Poker Successes

1. Time targets all met - 10/10 (Targets were play 120m, study 120m, mental game 10m, meditate 10m)

2. Take massive action on my study - 10/10 (Target was 120 minutes but did 180 minutes)

3. Check raise more - 10/10 (Highest numbers ever and all look good [to me])

---

Poker Fails

1. Cbet turn/river more - 4/10 (My numbers are increasing but I am still not putting the pressure on enough. Plan is more study of this topic to drill the knowledge home and constant evaluation)

---

IRL Successes

1. Family time - 9/10 (Thursday night the girls are out so I have time with my 6 year old son. We played some great Spiderman games!!!)

2. Help Helen around the house etc - 10/10 (Loads of jobs to help out done!)

3. Write MASSIVE goals out twice per day - 10/10 (Oh yes, they are BIG and they are written out!!!)

---

IRL Fails

1. Appreciate Helen - 1/10 (Simply not good enough MUST sort this out - helping out is one thing but it is not as good as SHOWING it!)

---

Dentist was good and bad! Nothing to do this time but got "several" very old fillings (30+ years) ready to be drilled out and renewed in the near future. Should be fun without anaesthetic! Oh and I didn't poop my pants too bad going there today!

I need to make sure I work on this turn and river cbetting. I think with this leak most of my problem is a lack of knowledge rather than a mental leak but for sure there will be a part of it that is mental. Basically I just need to suck it up and embrace it. Keep evaluating and analysing...

Tomorrow...

Plenty of study lined up (120m) but won't play as we have got something on at the school (Bat Spotting Night) and Father-in-law is over from Macedonia (so beers afterwards!!!).

Have a great weekend amigos!

---

Thought...

Something that all successful people have in common? They all take MASSIVE ACTION...

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Chowchow12

Joined: 04.06.2012

Posts: 491

07.10.2017, 02:21 0

You're killing it. We be crushing NL200 zoom before you know it.

Disclaimer: I am an idiot.

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

12.10.2017, 11:05 0

Wow, no entry for 2 weeks!!!?

Been mad busy.

One of my houses that was let to a small family became empty. Due to dumb taxation law changes in UK I need to change tactic and let it to students anyway so was kind of blessing in disguise (life works like that a lot I find). It is sorted now and couple of students moved in already.

My day job is kinda weird at the moment too. Not going to say much but really can't figure out what is going on there and what the future holds.

Just need to take stock of it. I could go on my own and do the same thing (and almost certainly make a lot more money) but not sure I want to go down that route.

Lots to think about.

Not done much poker stuff. Played some but it has been more to "relax" than a focused practice. Study has been next to zero.

Hoping to get back into it asap but the work situation is using up a lot of my mental energy atm.

Wing Chun is going great. I am definitely considering getting instructor qualification as an option.

Asked a few friends and family what they think I should do / am good at and everyone seems to say that I should do something teaching kids. I tend to agree but not sure what I could teach!

Lots to ponder.

P.S. I bought some kettlebells to start training with!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

27.10.2017, 12:29 0

Still not fully back on the poker bus...

Too much going on with my job and my investments to give it enough attention.

I have still been playing though and when I play I prepare for my sessions properly.

In fact I am possibly playing my best poker in quite some time. I think my mental game has continued to improve during this "quiet" period so I am making better decisions overall. Also some of my recently acquired knowledge is gradually sinking in (at last)!!!

Need to see how the next few days pan out and hopefully I can get back into GTORB a bit and get on with some study.

P.S. Kettlebell training is going pretty well (although I really am weak as hell!) and we went on a short vacation to Legoland last weekend which was TOTALLY AMAZING!!!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

30.10.2017, 10:41 0

Right! I am going to try and get back on track with poker from today.

Here is my planned schedule...

I am not really pushing myself too hard there for the first week back at it mainly because I think I need to gently ease back myself back in.

Will leave mental game work out of it. I am going to study all of the notes from my coaching sessions and get into GTORB a little.

Good luck at the tables amigos! Keep working on YOU!

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

31.10.2017, 17:36 0

Well... Shit just went backwards/sideways/maybe forwards!!!!

Guys at my work are saying they have heard the owner telling people he is winding the business up over the next 6 months. I actually semi-figured this out but was kinda ignoring it.

I need to fast track some stuff and get up to speed ready for when/if this happens.

Some of you friendly guys out there might be "concerned" or some such but please do not worry. I do have income from houses that I can use. I never used it before (always re-invested) so it is there for back-up.

I have several options open to me and will carefully consider which ones to take. Maybe all of them!

I will keep in touch in here with IRL stuff and when I do play I will post some fun hands.

Cliffs: Slight panic. Nothing to worry too much about. Just need to get my ass into gear.

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Eatyourpeas

Joined: 18.09.2012

Posts: 771

01.11.2017, 16:07 0

FWIW...

October

It was a pretty pointless month pokerwise. Too much crap going on at work. Holiday. General "other stuff".

I have already got some exciting stuff in the pipeline though! Rapid income acceleration coming up!!!

Good luck in November amigos!

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WARNING!!! Going pro... If you don't like hard work then GTFO!!!