29/05
Today met other side of variance - down like 295$. Lost all possible flips and in the end started playing bad so i quit session. Still think i can beat NL100 and willt ry that out more.
Today my brother has name day so gonna celebrate that and visit parents. Perhaps no poker for couple days.
BR: $2478.32
VPP: 15025
31/05
Story of tilt and new horizons...
So i go to my parents to celebrate brothers name day but before leaving i play quick session. Loose another buyin and feel beat. Go to parents house where is only one laptop and no softs on it so i cant really play NL100 there.
Before leaving had chat with one poker player and we talked about FR and SH differences.
So a quick thought comes into my mind to play NL50 SH with no softs. Played 2 tables and lost like 35$ (remember tilt?!?). Then i say to myself i shouldnt try NL50 SH like this - if i ever try SH again i should do it properly. So that leads me to FL HU, where no bet amounts are needed and its easier for my brain ♦ I play there and loose another 35$ (it sucks to tilt, doesnt it?).
Then - a brilliant thought pops into my mind - I have FTP account for tilt moments, why not use that sicne i am tilting. A quick look around whats going on FTP and FL HU is what i still want. Too bad it starts from 1/2 there. Well lets try it anyway, since its FL and you cant loose much in FL, right? So i sat down with 20$ (had total of 90$ on FTP) and began playing... or more like pwning all around. In like next 2h i had beat 3 guys for total of 140$. One guy kept saying how bad i am and just kept rebuying - he was very sure i am bot at one point and told that in chat. That made me laugh ♦
Next day i played FL HU again and won another 60$ or so. The day after that - another 130$. And after huge amounts of rake and lots of guys beaten i am up $348 with winrate of 14.55BB/100 over 1,195 hands. Some regs now avoid me and i think even more guys are convinced i am total fish. I wont deny - it might be true as i made some really sick calls and plays.
But i think they just havent used to my very aggressive game and fact that they have like no fold equity against me - i had some caped pots pre where i had like 97s and got great image - guys were caping flops with bottom pair no kicker and i shiped moniez when hit something.
Anyway - bakrolls:
Stars: $2319.35 and VPP: 13288
FTP: $424.49
New month stared right - so some numbers are needed i guess - this month i am like 1,8k$ up and i consider that as a great success. Lets hope next month brings even better results - might have to withdraw something and drop down a limit tho.
2/06
Results crashed, started playing bad and lost a bunch more. On FTP i tried 2/4 FL HU with my tiltroll and at first went up, but then lost to some luckboxses and i started playing too reckless which resulted in loses. Anyway FTP roll is tiny again... expect to get nice rakeback tho. But giving up on FL HU anyway since i dont think it is for me.
I withdrew money so i am not rolled for NL100 any more and lost a bunch in NL50 today. Dunno what to do, will figure out something probably and will try to force myself to play carefully and with full concentration.
My luck @ NL100:
$0.5/$1 No Limit Holdem
9 players
Converted at weaktight.com
Stacks:
UTG Hero ($140.05)
UTG+1 BruceOxner ($100.00)
MP1 DrWarG ($147.05)
MP2 Zprofy ($119.65)
MP3 Markgräfler ($98.50)
CO lee69715 ($99.50)
BTN Bigwhitunit ($45.20)
SB HuGaDaS ($100.00)
BB Zinedin 69 ($45.20)
Pre-flop: ($1.50, 9 players) Hero is UTG J♦ J♣
Hero raises to $4, 1 fold, DrWarG raises to $10, 6 folds, Hero calls $6
Flop: T♠ T♥ J♥ ($21.50, 2 players)
Hero checks, DrWarG bets $10, Hero raises to $32, DrWarG calls $22
Turn: 7♦ ($85.50, 2 players)
Hero bets $48, DrWarG goes all-in $105.05, Hero goes all-in $50.05
River: K♥ ($288.60, 2 players)
Final Pot: $281.60
Hero shows: J♦ J♣
DrWarG shows: T♦ T♣
DrWarG wins $285.60 ( won +$138.55 )
Hero lost -$140.05
Roll: Like $1200. (But remember i withdrew moniez for food and everyday expenses so i am good for 1 month now.)
12/06
No update for long time because i was on super studiyng mode. I have done almost everything i need for university. It was super super sick how i did it, but i did. Only one last thing to do - means i will be studying hard for next 2 days as well.
And not much about poker ... i am on super downswing, feel liek total shit and wont have food next month. I feel totally devastated and confused. My roll is like 900$ atm. My worst nightmare is comming true - i cant win a thing. Atm i see only one option how i might get through it. I will take starting capital at pacific and deposit there for 1st deposit bonus. Will try my best there. Why this might work? Because player field might be weaker + i might get better deal with rakeback there or elsewhare and if i clear bonus and am break even - i will still earn some $.
Roll: about 900$
Long time no update. So i think i should write something.
Doing terrible. Last month i lost quite much. Started with downswing, then i tried again some other types of poker but all were unsuccesseful and lost some more. I mean i tied 180 man tourneys and went on 10BI downer, tried stud, earned a bit and then hit wall again etc. Withdrew some more and then lost a bit again. So my Stars roll is @ 269$ now. Very alarming and disappointing.
Have money for next month and savings to last me for quite some time. So i am not busto yet really. Just that i have been on terrible loosing streak.
Reasons for my loosing streak is probably because i had super hard and long exam session that took me days and nights for 2 weeks. After that i wanted to catch up and got reckless.
I still think i can play good earning poker and i will work hard to achieve that. I have installed ICM trainer, and SNGwiz on trial - analyzing my games and training.
You will hear from me way less tho - at first i thought making blog would keep me motivated and disciplined. In fact i think it gives more drawbacks than gains as i become too result orientated and often try to chase results to impress you, dear readers. Since food > good impression i think i better update this way less often but play my best game. 
May the luck be with you and see you in a while..
Good luck Grimzor,
Sad to hear but with your motivation and will to learn, I think you will be back at your A-game in no time 
And as you mentioned: don't be to result orientated. Just become a better player and results wilt follow
Final update.
I dont like to make this post but i feel i need to do this for myself. I dont like whining, cause i used to do it a lot and i disliked that in myself. I have been running sooooo bad i am speachless to describe it. I droped down a limit again to 5$ DONs and you have no idea how bad i run there. I have been in like 100 situation where i am 70% favorite and i won like 10 of them. I know what you think - "pfff, everyone in downswing thinks he runs the worst. 10 out of 100 ... yeah right, that is so exaggerated"... i am not kidding. It really is that bad.
This is worst swing of my entire life and i am closer to giving up on poker than ever. I hope it doesnt come to that. Anyway - i am almost busto, very close to it. might have to deposit (f*ck stars, not gonna deposit on that site).
So what now? I had my shot at being low limit pro... grinded my ass off and had perfect first month. Stress, reckless play killed results for 2nd. And now with clear head i get worst swing ever. What i will do is - i will change platform (FTP, i guess you are the lucky site to have me, be kind plz ♦ ) and play SNGs with aggressive BRM. Work on theory and ICM twice as much as before... I feel i can do it - just need to have my luck turn around.
I said this is final entry.. That is right - until i am back to my regular limits and back on my feet - i will not keep a blog.
