[Closed] I hate real work... time for some superturbos and fish...

BUT... and sorry you thought my goals were real please don't stop posting in my blog....

are you not VERY satisfied when you make a read based play and you were right? I mean I
have lost soo many times because of the next 2 or 1 card(s) that came after, but to be in with
a marginal holding and have a maniac make a play and just know what he has, and call or shove
over him and have him call or after you call the cards are turned up and your A9os was good with
the 9 on the rainbow board and he turns over Q4s and cue the runner runner miracle flush for him.

Yeah of course after losing so many buy ins it gets frustrating no matter how many times you convince
yourself you got it in good, that brilliant rush of outplaying them and having it be so standard... I mean
I don't know about you, but when the situation arises and your there postflop for example and you just
know what to do and there is no hesitation or doubts. Thats the epitomy of the correct play and when
you make it it has got to count for something along the lines of compensation for the suckout that follows.

Not to mention the fact he just got paid for it, so of course he is convinced that play was the stone cold
nuts in that situation for him and he will make it the next 500 times.. Win Win Win right? I find things
like these can help distract me from the short term ass kicking which in your situation is harder to take
because short term feels like long term because of 1 table at a time.

Even Lennonac though with his 6 million SNGS played in March was feeling the ebb of a long ass b/e stretch.
This makes the question then at what point do we reach the total indifference required to play on and play
through and maintain a total love for the game regardless of the results?

Is it after we have paid rent and bought a car and lived well for 5 months straight then we have a month
of bullshit straight but we don't care because of how successfull we have been? Or is it never going to
go away and no matter what the past has brought you the present can rain on your parade?

If that is the case, then maybe all we have is what you posted in my blog. Some times there is just
better ways to spend your time untill your not affected because no matter what preparation you give
yourself before your day, after such negative results, as soon as they rear their ugly head that day,
they have a more severe effect because they are expected even if only subconciously and thus
damage your play before they even happen and a break is a MUST.

Sorry I spewed a long post in your blog but you really made me think with your post.

Nick

Maybe you should get a coach to help you iron out any leaks you may have.
There are some good ones on 2+2 and I think TwiceT from here can help with heads up as well.

Even if you gain abit of confidence from it it will be worth the money, I have come to realise of late that trying to do it all and learn it all on your own is a very long and hard road. Getting some help can really push your game to a new level really fast.

Good luck getting through you recent run

A little perspective always helps me get realigned, when I posted yesterday I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, but I got over that.

Lennonac... I have been thinking about the coaching, and I know the 2+2 coaches are decent. I have taken a HUSNG membership and I have downloaded ALL the videos, so I think I am gonna go through the videos and see which coach I like... it may still be while before I do that, but I will do that. I know from when I did session reviews with Atoks and Flows the impact was awesome, so another set of eyes is always a good thing.

Another thing I realised is that I am also prone to umm... how do I put this... I suppose it's like a self-imposed victim syndrome thing... let me explain... when I run hot, I know it's variance and I expect things to level off and come down, but when I run bad, I feel like I hope the heater will come, but sometimes I'm not so sure, and I start doubting my ability and generally I start thinking that maybe this is my game and that heater is not actually on it's way... so it's like I feel heater = luck and downswing = standard... which is very, very wrong... cos despite horrific results as of late my play has not been super spewy... instead I have constantly encountered those 1-6 cards I do not want to see etc.

It does feel good to get a read and nail the bastard... but when they do suck out continuously I begin to feel like, yes I got my money in good, but will I ever actually reap the reward of that? like when I lose a hand where I had 98% equity on the flop I know that 98% of that pot was mine, but now I have to encounter that same situation 49 more times and win them all, and then I get sucked out on with 95% equity etc and the number in my mind grows and it's like, well, how often do I see this spot, rarely, and so how big of a sample do I need before this horrid run of bad luck gets truly leveled.... and the number (estimation of) gets quite staggering and well... I feel sorry for myself for a bit, and then realise that all I can do is get on with it....

So that's what I am gonna do...

And in non-poker-related news in the past 48 hours I have managed to help cut down 2 45ft trees, see the northern lights, get the house painted, clean the yard up, build a trial run fly box and order 200 trout fingerlings for my dam... while I was not grinding...

Well another good day of volume... but I have to say that I still suck at feeling good about getting my hand in good and getting sucked out on... and from some of the videos I have watched I am not alone... I did watch some excellent vids today and it reshaped my thinking about stuff which was awesome, now if I could only win some hands... well I do win some hands, but I suck at 60/40s... whether I am the 60 or the 40 it doesn't matter... I'm not even going in to the situations today where I was 90%+ favourite and lost... anyway, I think one of the things that makes it so tough psychologically is that in each game you (I) put so much effort into collecting reads, outplaying the opponent, grinding them down, finding ways to exploit them only to have them wittled down then double up through a suckout, then they win a 60/40 then they win a 60/40 and boom, done... and then it happens over and over again.... and it hurts... it really does... But I am getting better at pushing through and now I am hoping that it levels out one day before I die... it's one big session after all isn't it?

I sometimes think people probably think I am making this all up and I'm just whining about standard variance... I wish I was... but I will plug on, as always...

Originally posted by NickParkesI sometimes think people probably think I am making this all up and I'm just whining about standard variance...

IMO anyone who might think that needs to play more.

Well, I am really enjoying my poker at the moment, and I am itching to up my volume... I'm not really running any better, but I feel my game improving all the time, and that feels great... I'll get some time in tomorrow, but we have many appointments and the morning/mid afternoon is booked but I am really looking forward to my next session... It feels nice to be excited about playing, especially even though I hit a new bottom in my downswing today...

Today was tough... was really looking forward to a grind only to be decimated to the point where I had to drop limits again... yep, I've moved down again... setups coolers, unable to catch/win a critical hand and all that I can do is study/review/plod along... It's tough, but I am OK, doing my damndest to keep things in the best shape that I can... It just sometimes feels that no heater could ever just wipe this out... I know that's wrong, and I know things will balance, and all I can do is persevere and develop my game... but in the back of my mind I am really craving some positive reinforcement... wishing that I could stop giving myself the same pep talk over and over again, and wishing that these pep talks that have given me hope actually show some truth eventually... yet I will continue to clear my mind and put every effort into playing the best I possibly can...

Hi Nick,

A while ago I listened to your commentary on another member's SnG that he played (on the SnG dissection thread) and I really picked up on your knowledge and enthusiasm for the game.

Try not to get disheartened - with discipline, hard work and patience you will get back to winning without any doubt.

Rgds,
Tim

You got to at least make it to the slapper its my favorite part!!!

**EDIT: scratch that its a toss up between that and the old man kiss.

897 where did you find that?? yeah, it's close, but I think the slapper takes purely cos the dude was running so bad there...

Thanks Tim for the words of encouragement, and don't worry, I won't lose heart, in fact when I dropped to the $20s I kinda became aware of the fact that volume >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> stakes, so that has been my focus since. It comes a lot from TT's BM post and that has inspired a new motivation in me... I cleaned up the desk I used when I was mass grinding SNGs and I now have a pretty sweet setup there... I like playing with background noise etc, which is kinda why I had my setup in the lounge by the TV... but now I have a better workspace with the baby laptop/mp3 player acting as my entertainment... all this weekend I have The Masters on... I do like having sport on, cos I don't really need to focus on it to follow what is happening... so feeling great about the setup...

Then pokerwise I had a nice little run on the $20s and hit my moving up mark, so I am back on the $30s and I have set my moving down and moving up mark... and the focus is now to work on my game + get in a decent volume... let's see how things go...

If you are one tabling it also as you said seems like much longer for the long term...

Surely you do not need every inch of your focus for just 1 table of heads up SNG at a time???

Maybe you can add in a 180 man or something while you play? I wouldn't recommend multi tabling
too many hu SNGS as obviously you would need alot of focus on each one but maybe mixing the
one table at a time with something else can help break the monotony?

BTW... the video is from 2+2, in the NVG section there is a thread called post your favorite anti tilt videos.

There are some shitty ones and a few I am going to hell for no doubt about it for laughing at... like the chick
who moshes every time she stops running. I know it is sooo bad but man when they played the heavy metal
music right at the moment she stopped running the tears were flowing from my face.

There are also some brilliant ones like the Japanese dudes, and there is an animator who made a pile of things
for companies that will never see a second of air time. IMO that is up there with the best.

Anyhow here is the link to the thread.... I figured you could use some laughs while you go through this shit....

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-views-gossip/your-favorite-anti-tilt-videos-621404/

Again it needs some sifting there are some shitty links in there and the first few pages are full of stuff removed
from youtube etc etc but check em all anyways... Infact your sunscreen song you posted in my old blog is there
as well.

GL Nick.

well actually I do want every inch of my focus for 1-tabling... I know it may seem wierd, but I don't wanna have to focus on something else like an MTT/something... The HU game is an interesting beast, and one of the aspects I enjoy is that I am constantly analysing my game + their game + game flow, ranges etc... the thinking can get quite deep which I love, and I know that as soon as I am concentrating on something else I lose some of that edge... I mean, how else could I have played this hand like I did... reads were involved ofc...

No Limit Holdem Tournament
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com
"TURBO" NLH Heads Up $20 Buy-In: $20+$1

Stacks:
BTN Hero (1,900)
BB bluth (1,100)

Blinds: 20/40

Pre-Flop: (60, 2 players) Hero is BTN 4♣ 3♠
Hero calls 20, bluth raises to 80, Hero calls 40

Flop: 8♦ 3♦ 8♣ (200, 2 players)
bluth bets 160, Hero calls 160

Turn: 4♠ (520, 2 players)
bluth bets 480, Hero raises to 960, bluth goes all-in 380

River: 7♥ (2,340, 2 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: 2,300
Hero shows
4♣ 3♠
bluth shows
A♥ Q♥

Hero wins 2,300 (net +1,100)

bluth lost 1,100

3-pair is the nutz

But overall I am happy with my routine as is, and playing the best poker I can is what is most NB to me....

Sick play.

Whats NB??

I think it was explained b4 but I forget.

NB = important...

And it feels quite nice to have a few games go my way today... I've had a bit of luck, but mostly my cards have held/I have recovered, which I consider luck...

Dang, the weather here is rotten outside... and it is messing with my Masters coverage....

Originally posted by NickParkes
Dang, the weather here is rotten outside... and it is messing with my Masters coverage....

Cliff notes:

Course is tough today (v yesterday's virtual love fest of a setup).

Cut is at +3.

A 16 y.o. Italian is a freak.

Woods is a freak - LDO.

The poms at the top of the leaderboard will spew away their lead over the weekend.

the 16 year old has only been playing golf for 2 years. wow thats amazing.

Originally posted by fun101rockets
the 16 year old has only been playing golf for 2 years. wow thats amazing.

definition of a freak imo

well I missed most of the masters action yesterday as I was chatting to a mate of mine in SA and then went out shopping for rabbit skins and other stuff in the afternoon... the relative miserable weather here continues, but that's OK as it is grinding time for me... a bit later...

This morning so far I have watched my mandatory video before starting the day and played a few matches... and in the last couple I felt like my normal edge was a bit blunt as the mind isn't as sharp as it could be... so I am taking a break, I am gonna be heading to church in a bit and then this afternoon will be all about golf and grinding...

Should be a cracking final day, ahhh, there is nothing like Sunday at Augusta, and with Westwood leading and Phil and Tiger in the hunt I am sure there will be some drama today.... should be pretty sweet........

Now I really wish I could find the charger for the camera, cos I really feel like I wanna add some pics to this blog... something that has been severely lacking...

Well Phil wrapped it up, and convincingly so... gg...

Anyway overall poker seems to be OK, the bankroll is a bit healthier than it has been and I have been getting my own bits of luck as well as having my good hands hold. But most importantly I feel my game is quite a bit stronger due to the work I have put in. I know I have a ton to learn but I am ready for the ride ♦

One of the other major things that I think helps is I am so happy about my workspace. It is roomy and comfortable and I have a choice of entertainment that doesn't take me away from the table... I can either connect to my vast music library in the external, or I can watch sport of some sort or other stuff on the baby laptop... When I am watching something I can use it as a focus meter of sorts... when I am zoning on the poker I do not even notice it... as my focus dwindles I notice that the pictures capture a bit more of my attention and that is a good time to break... but overall I am happy with this, and I feel set to take on some serious grinding over the next while...

This is my setup:

OK, so I have been sent into a spiral of analytical and phylosophical thought this morning, so hence I am writing here...

This morning I am taking the time to do some serious studying, I have figured Monday mornings are an excellent time to do this as theoretically it is the least productive fish-wise on the felt... so I have been watching videos, reviewing my past games, analysing and critisizing my play and seeing what I could have done better... basically I pick games at random and review, I prefer that to specifically selecting a game that was interesting, cos I can never decide, and this works for me... and then, purely by chance I selected a game, which made me smile cos I remembered it well, even though it was played over a week ago... in fact I wanted to post about this match back then but I never got round to it, but well fate has a way of turning it's wheel at the right moment.

Anyway this match was against a villain I have played many times. He always, always sits me, but he hadn't been around for a couple weeks. Now he baffled me before, you see, he is a HUGE winner, plays across a wide variety of stakes and well I was baffled cos he just doesn't fold... he would call my raises uber-wide OOP and NEVER, I mean NEVER fold to a c-bet, and it seemed like when I checked he bet, when I second barrelled he raised and I just couldn't figure him out and consequently I got run over by him... repeatedly... BUT in those couple weeks he was away I had been doing my homework and this match (actually it was 3 matches we played, but I reviewed the final one) was the simple proof of how I have been developing.

Against my nemesis I played delightfully... this hand made me smile

No Limit Holdem Tournament
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com
"TURBO" NLH Heads Up $30 Buy-In: $30+$1.50

Stacks:
Hero (1,560)
BB (1,440)

Blinds: 10/20

Pre-Flop: (30, 2 players) Hero is BTN 6♣ 6♦
Hero calls 10, BB raises to 80, Hero calls 60

Flop: 7♣ J♦ J♥ (180, 2 players)
BB bets 120, Hero calls 120

Turn: 4♥ (420, 2 players)
BB bets 240, Hero calls 240

River: 8♣ (900, 2 players)
BB checks, Hero checks

Final Pot: 880
Hero shows
6♣ 6♦
BB shows
A♠ 9♥

Hero wins 880 (net +440)

BB lost 440

But there were many more, and for the first time I was happy to see him play me again, cos a) I was up for the challenge and knew it would be good for my game, and b) I had figured him out... and it showed... I finished that little session 2-1up and lost the one only cos I lost a 70-30 and then a 60-40 both when I was favourite, so overall I was really happy... and in my session review I found some areas that I could have played a bit better, but I also noticed that he had shut down somewhat, he seemed rattled, and I think he was... cos, well, he hasn't sat me since, and I have seen him at the tables

But it really shows me what the studying can do... and I am still a so I will still do lots more...