[Coach] Erik Stenqvist: Tilt, A-Game, Mindset, and Lifecoaching ~ Q&A

    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Hey guys!

      My name is Erik Stenqvist and I will be one of the coaches on this bootcamp focusing on the mental side of poker. I will be be looking through your threads for anything I feel I can assist with, give my take on or help you break down issues you are struggling with.

      Poker today is becoming more and more about who can play their A-Game most often, longer and avoiding tilt. From my experience the emotional and mental side of poker is the one area where you can be a "fish" in relation to your poker skillset and still play higher stakes. Why? Because almost everyone else struggles to it to some extent, and some can't beat 50NL because of it. So stay ahead of the curve and put some rewarding and necessary work on you approach to learning the game, structure, becoming stronger mentally, and balance in your life in general.

      They way I look at the game is different from most players. I don't see poker as anything else than a highly competitive arena with time pressure, monetary risk, lack of control, and tough decisions. The person that you are is who is going to show up at the tables, not the poker player, not the coach, just you. When we look at poker this way we have many more tools to work with, if we accept and recognize that the issues we have at the tables are ultimately personal in nature and only our reaction t the current situation, we can begin to put some practical work into changing our approach to the game.

      Most players know the logic behind tilt, the theory so to say. But yet so many players struggle greatly with tilt and fear in the game. And the reason is often that we try to sort out our mental game problem by thinking about them. It's almost like going to the gym and thinking about lifting weights, you got to do the work. Something I feel is lacking in the poker world is a structured practical approach of exercises, mainly while playing but also away from the tables, where we can actually practice handling emotions, negative thought patterns, and tilt.

      But first we need to take a step back and take a look at ourselves and out issues and accept that they are there whether we like it or not. We then need to bring awareness to the issue, ask ourselves some tough questions, and then start looking for tools in form of exercises so that we don't go unarmed to the arena when we start facing the issues.

      I also practice what I preach. If I have advice for you or tell you what I think it's because I have either done it myself or I have experience working with someone else on the same issue. In the style of the bootcamp ill try to be as direct, honest and effectively helpful as possible to cut straight to what I believe is the core issue.

      If you have anything that you feel might be to personal don't hesitate to pm here on the forums. :)

      Lastly I want to say that I'm happy and excited to be here, to ahev a chance to work with you and help as much as I can!

      *If you want me to have a look at something in your thread just say hello here or bump and I'll have a look. I will try to look through the threads as much as I can but you can always get in touch with me here if I missed anything...

      ~ Erik Stenqvist

  • 24 replies
    • BrokesoBroke
      BrokesoBroke
      Black
      Joined: 23.10.2007 Posts: 889
      I'd like to thank you and all other coaches in advance!

      I'm looking forward to everything that will be offered!
    • BrokesoBroke
      BrokesoBroke
      Black
      Joined: 23.10.2007 Posts: 889
      Congratulations and welcome to the Pokerstrategy team! ;)
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Thanks a lot!

      It's our pleasure to be here!
      Hopefully we can get to figure some stuff out, put some work in, and deal with some issues! :)

      Cheers!
    • mko101
      mko101
      Bronze
      Joined: 14.01.2009 Posts: 2,160
      This is nuts!

      Will definitely contact.
    • IronPumper
      IronPumper
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 03.01.2008 Posts: 14,950
      Great to have you here as a coach!:)

      I wonder what you mean exactly by saying that we have topraccitve tiltcontrol offgame and ingame.

      Off game I thin writing-exercises are the way to go - here Jared Tendler gives imo very good advices - mb you know already his work and approach.

      What can you do ingame though, unless inectiong logic and trying to be aware bout your emotions and not deny them?
    • bartjuh
      bartjuh
      Bronze
      Joined: 27.09.2007 Posts: 55
      Hi Erik,

      Great to have you in the team!

      I am planning to work hard on my mental game this month. Hope you can help me out a bit.
      What I fail to understand is that although I know variance is part of poker and it can be insane at times I still have a hard time dealing with it.
      After a couple of bad beats in a row I start getting angry and often I will scream and or kick my desk and stuff like that. It is pretty embarrassing to be honest.

      I am a bit like this kid :D



      No but seriously I need to deal with this as it is hindering my poker career.
      Are there any exercises that you can recommend to this specific tilt problem?

      And if you have time you are welcome to drop by in my thread:
      Skipping through the limits
    • Kyyberi
      Kyyberi
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 09.07.2010 Posts: 10,876
      Welcome, it's great to see mental coaches in here too!

      I am curious what do you think about Tendler's point of view to tilting. Do you have the same approach to tilting and mental game errors that he does, or do you have some other ways/ideas?
    • NoEmoti0n
      NoEmoti0n
      Global
      Joined: 25.10.2007 Posts: 8,344
      Hi!

      What do u think is the best way to get ur shape back after bad session with deep negative result with/or without making ur own mistakes?
      I think for professional player too much rest is not an option. So im looking to find good ways to come in comfortable psychological shape and returning to grind using as less time as possible
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Originally posted by IronPumper
      Great to have you here as a coach!:)

      I wonder what you mean exactly by saying that we have topraccitve tiltcontrol offgame and ingame.

      Off game I thin writing-exercises are the way to go - here Jared Tendler gives imo very good advices - mb you know already his work and approach.

      What can you do ingame though, unless inectiong logic and trying to be aware bout your emotions and not deny them?
      Away from the tables I think Jared's and Tommy's material should be part of every pokerplayers material. There is certainly no better written on poker and tilt out there imo.

      Where I feel that guys struggle is that they can't really get the theory to stick and work when at the tables. A lot of that has to do with trying to think their way out of the issues of tilt etc, since it's a mental "problem". Actively staying with emotions while playing, having solid strategies to combat tilt during session as well as working on their specific tilt issues away from the tables is key. The problem is often that there is not enough deep knowledge of what a players core issue is. If you aren't used to digging into emotional issues this can be quite tricky. In the upcoming video series we will look at how to create an environment around poker that will make it easier for us to fin our A-Game.

      Setting alarms to remind yourself to stay present, practicing mindfulness on and off the tables, injecting logic, actively working on staying with negative emotions while playing, talking your thought process out, taking regular effective breaks etc etc. Just like your poker game the mental side need work too. But you aren't really working on poker issues you are working on yourself as a person. The person you are is who reacts a certain way at the tables. So the mental side is more than just about poker. It's about you :)
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Originally posted by mko101
      This is nuts!

      Will definitely contact.
      Thanks buddy :)
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Originally posted by bartjuh
      Hi Erik,

      Great to have you in the team!

      I am planning to work hard on my mental game this month. Hope you can help me out a bit.
      What I fail to understand is that although I know variance is part of poker and it can be insane at times I still have a hard time dealing with it.
      After a couple of bad beats in a row I start getting angry and often I will scream and or kick my desk and stuff like that. It is pretty embarrassing to be honest.

      I am a bit like this kid :D

      No but seriously I need to deal with this as it is hindering my poker career.
      Are there any exercises that you can recommend to this specific tilt problem?

      And if you have time you are welcome to drop by in my thread:
      Skipping through the limits
      Hey bartjuh

      After watching the video I can see why you struggle with poker :D

      Well if you pretend that your issue of tilt was a poker hand that you would discuss with a really good high stakes player, can you see how little detail there is on the issue here? It's like saying well i played some hands against i good player and he outplayed me.. Pretend that you want to make me experience what the process is like for you when you tilt. :)

      There is nothing to be ashamed of here, every one has issue with poker. The ones that hide it away in a corner will not get far! Keep it up you are on the right track!

      “Problems aren’t bad, they are normal. Thinking that we are bad because we have problems, thats bad”
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Originally posted by Kyyberi
      Welcome, it's great to see mental coaches in here too!

      I am curious what do you think about Tendler's point of view to tilting. Do you have the same approach to tilting and mental game errors that he does, or do you have some other ways/ideas?

      Hello Kyyberi!

      I think Jared's book and podcast together with other material are an invaluable pool of information about tilt and A-Game in poker. What I feel players lack is to actively practice dealing with negative emotions and thought patterns at the tables. That together with not always having a complete understanding on why you react a certain way at the tables, the same way that I react another way. There is much more layer and depth to these issues and we don't fully understand the theory behind an issue and what the core issue actually is. Then it can be hard to get the theory to hold up in practice.

      Hope that makes sense :)
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Originally posted by NoEmoti0n
      Hi!

      What do u think is the best way to get ur shape back after bad session with deep negative result with/or without making ur own mistakes?
      I think for professional player too much rest is not an option. So im looking to find good ways to come in comfortable psychological shape and returning to grind using as less time as possible
      The short answer is; Put the work in!

      The longer answer is well, longer :)
      What you need to do to make the negative emotions go away is either wait, which is not very effective. Or we can face the issue and attack it head on. But it start even before the session Having a real solid warm-up routine that puts you in A-Game territory is one, breaking down your tilt issues away from the tables, practice mindfulness, always doing a post session analysis to let a session go, practice spotting good variance at the tables etc etc. But it really depends on the specifics and the details of your personal issues with poker when it comes to tilt. This is were guys struggle the most, they avoid and/or are not nearly as detailed as they need to be to fully understand their issues.

      Depending on what the issue is it can completely change the answer or the advice. Thats why its so hard to give specific advice because there is little information to go on. :)

      So pretend you had 15 minutes to explain to a tilt guru what your issue is. If you could make him fully understand you issue he could magically make it go away. How would you prepare? How detailed would you be?
    • NoEmoti0n
      NoEmoti0n
      Global
      Joined: 25.10.2007 Posts: 8,344
      hm, let's try

      First of all i should say i'm not total newbie in psycology. 2-3 years ago i had huge problems with rage overhelming me at the tables after badbits and coolers.
      So i started to read profiled books. I hardly cold find useful infomation especially for poker, but collected by small pieces. In about an year i become much more sedate person, and one day realized that problem is gone
      Now it could be a lot easier and faster with Jared's book, but whatever

      Roots of current problem i think lie in these facts
      1. I'm playing NL100-200, but spend on living monthly around 500-1000$. So losing 3-4BI on nl200 equals month money for my family (poker is only income btw)
      So it's scary money. But on other hand, i got 40 BI of upper limit bankroll and playing 4-8 tables, so it's enough deep
      When i end up session losing 600$ i realize it's only 3 BI and im OK to continue playing. But when i think of it in terms of how much stuff i could buy if i'd spend these money in shop, it almost kills me

      2. Also important factor is my desired goal: buy a flat/house. So every unlucky session postpones me away.

      As i suppose some kind of plan could be antidote to this problem. But im not quite sure how to organize it. Because, in fact, this goal is to collect certain amount of money. However, from my expirience i could say that goals in $ in poker lead to failure. So there is a contradiction i didnt solve yet


      Hope it's detailed enough :f_biggrin:
    • IronPumper
      IronPumper
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 03.01.2008 Posts: 14,950
      Originally posted by ErikStenqvist
      Originally posted by IronPumper
      Great to have you here as a coach!:)

      I wonder what you mean exactly by saying that we have topraccitve tiltcontrol offgame and ingame.

      Off game I thin writing-exercises are the way to go - here Jared Tendler gives imo very good advices - mb you know already his work and approach.

      What can you do ingame though, unless inectiong logic and trying to be aware bout your emotions and not deny them?
      Away from the tables I think Jared's and Tommy's material should be part of every pokerplayers material. There is certainly no better written on poker and tilt out there imo.

      Where I feel that guys struggle is that they can't really get the theory to stick and work when at the tables. A lot of that has to do with trying to think their way out of the issues of tilt etc, since it's a mental "problem". Actively staying with emotions while playing, having solid strategies to combat tilt during session as well as working on their specific tilt issues away from the tables is key. The problem is often that there is not enough deep knowledge of what a players core issue is. If you aren't used to digging into emotional issues this can be quite tricky. In the upcoming video series we will look at how to create an environment around poker that will make it easier for us to fin our A-Game.

      Setting alarms to remind yourself to stay present, practicing mindfulness on and off the tables, injecting logic, actively working on staying with negative emotions while playing, talking your thought process out, taking regular effective breaks etc etc. Just like your poker game the mental side need work too. But you aren't really working on poker issues you are working on yourself as a person. The person you are is who reacts a certain way at the tables. So the mental side is more than just about poker. It's about you :)

      __________________
      Erik Stenqvist --> Tilt, A-Game, Mindset & Lifecoaching.

      Any questions about the mental side of poker? Just fire away!
      Skype: erik.stenqvist
      Email: Info@ErikStenqvist.com
      [/quote]
      Thank you very much for your reply!

      Exsoecially the last sentences are very true imo:
      Ineed my stuff wich I have learned during my coorperation with Jared Tendler I can shift towards other areas of my life and hence develop my personality.
      On the other side, currently Im working a bit regards to self-development-stuff (like increasing self-esteem, not ignoring emotions, tryin to live more consciously,...) - what I have noticed is that this overall work on my own personality also improves my mental-game at poker, which seems logical to me and is great^^

      Looking forward to your vid-series:)
    • IronPumper
      IronPumper
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 03.01.2008 Posts: 14,950
      Hey, man!

      I know youre busy, so not a bid deal if you will skip it - but if you find some timev - I made right now a blogpost where I talked a bit bout mindset-stuff and some probs/thoughts - maybe you wanan take a look - cheers:)
    • gonepoker
      gonepoker
      Bronze
      Joined: 15.05.2009 Posts: 439
      Hey Erik,
      could you check my thread please? :)
      Thanks!
    • bencb
      bencb
      Coach
      Coach
      Joined: 23.11.2007 Posts: 3,463
      Originally posted by gonepoker
      Hey Erik,
      could you check my thread please? :)
      Thanks!
      same here :)
    • ErikStenqvist
      ErikStenqvist
      Global
      Joined: 14.01.2013 Posts: 431
      Hey guys!

      Been busy for a few days so fell behind a bit on the replies! But I'm on the forum grind now for the rest of the bootcamp. :)

      So if you haven't gotten a reply to your thread yet you will have one soon!

      [/IMG]

      What Goethe is actually saying in poker terms. Embrace the grind, actively learn and improve. Work hard! :)
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