Non supportive family or friends

    • richard1817
      richard1817
      Bronze
      Joined: 11.02.2008 Posts: 353
      Any one have either of these? gets so annoying when they hear god forbin you have a losing session. They have a miss conception that you have to win everything or you are rubbish. I find myself lieing about poker sessions to friends, telling them I am winning all the time so they don't put me down as some too bit gambler who has highs and lows.

      Only people I like telling about my swings are poker communities and other serious poker player friends who understand.
  • 28 replies
    • Ejeckt
      Ejeckt
      Bronze
      Joined: 06.12.2008 Posts: 517
      Don't really talk about poker sessions to people. I feel it's a bit like talking about your wage/salary or bank account details. The only persons who I'd share my experiences with are my fiancée and the chaps on the downswing report forums :P
    • jmackenzie
      jmackenzie
      Silver
      Joined: 04.06.2008 Posts: 1,241
      "telling them I am winning all the time so they don't put me down as some too bit gambler who has highs and lows."

      I wouldnt continue doing that its a pretty grey area not far off some1 with gambling problems.

      I myself irl have alot of friends and family who like to lecture how bad gambling is. But I have noticed after awhile the lectures turn into jokes and jokes into discussions about how I make money in poker. Just give it time and if they are true friends they'll understand.
    • MikeB570
      MikeB570
      Bronze
      Joined: 25.05.2009 Posts: 72
      My girlfriend is a bit skeptical. She's worried I'm going to go broke at any point. I try to explain BRM but it doesn't matter lol . My dad think's it's rigged because his friends mom 'lost' aka donked off A LOT of money :f_mad: You can't even argue with him about it so I don't even really talk to him about it. My mom is just happy I'm making money because she was trying to make me get a job.
    • Atoks
      Atoks
      Bronze
      Joined: 01.06.2008 Posts: 1,354
      I guess it sucks to not have support of friends and family. I actually hid my intentions as well until I started to contribute to the family fund monthly. The only way to gain support is by doing well and being honest. It doesn't matter what they think when u start playing poker, it matters what u think after u've played poker for a while. I think u should try and find motivation in this to improve and study about poker harder so u could sooner present good results and that way people might see u in a different light :)

      Success and good results at what u do make the best impact on people regardless of what u do. U can be a garbage collector, a butcher, an IT guy or a poker player, it doesn't really matter as long as u make progress/get promoted. But I understand the strains that come from an unsupportive/sceptical enviroment ... it sure doesn't make things easier ...
    • LgWz
      LgWz
      Black
      Joined: 26.05.2007 Posts: 7,641
      My parents bitched about it for some time, but after I explained how it works to be a winner (playing for long term) they are quite fine with it (as long as I don't quit school, but I never planned to anyway).

      I also showed them Holdem Manager and some sharkscope graphs of winning players :D
    • TheBrood
      TheBrood
      Bronze
      Joined: 17.07.2008 Posts: 4,383
      I dont get lectures because Im a dad, and also because once you get me going talking about poker its hard to make me stop lol, so they just avoid it.

      I keep "educating" them how swingy poker is, and let them know from time to time when I win or lose to further drill into their brain. But I don't overdo it because they dont like talking about it.

      I remind them(family) of my previous success in other things and that they should at least see its possible I can be a good player some day, and stop worrying I will donk away the house or something.

      With aquaintances I like to mention I play poker in the hopes of meeting someone else who plays too(TAF anyone?); no luck so far unless I go to a casino. I find talking about poker to someone is like talking about accounting or religion, they want nothing of it.
    • gavinonymous
      gavinonymous
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.12.2008 Posts: 1,146
      Well, you can say that you invest in equities, using the Kelly Criterion to ensure a viable capital investment. It's not far from the truth.

      If they ask more about it, explain how 80% or more of the other investors in your market make too many wrong decisions which you are also able to profit from.

      Finally tell them you play poker, and give them your winrate over 50k hands. Ask them to find you an investment advisor with the same record lol...

      If you are a losing or leveling player, I would study a lot and become a consistent winner before telling some people.. some will never want to hear, and associate poker with degenerate gambling and mobsters (Joan Rivers for one) Just avoid the subject if possible.

      My girlfriend is more bored than anything about poker - she's not so supportive as uninterested, but then she is more interested in what i can buy her with the winnings!

      My mom is very proud of my acheivement so far - this from a mom who insisted I go to university etc.. values hard work and study. I studied very hard so far, and I think a fair bit of hard work. She was so excited about my recetn tourney cash and winnings, and understands that poker is a game of maths, psychology and skill - the top players win consistently.. This is so much different than many other types of gambling - especially the Lottery.
    • LgWz
      LgWz
      Black
      Joined: 26.05.2007 Posts: 7,641
      Originally posted by gavinonymous
      She was so excited about my recetn tourney cash and winnings, and understands that poker is a game of maths, psychology and skill - the top players win consistently.. This is so much different than many other types of gambling - especially the Lottery.
      LOL I always blame my dad for playing the lottery, so -EV tsc tsc :D
    • TheLastNail
      TheLastNail
      Black
      Joined: 30.05.2008 Posts: 6,024
      i was essentially hiding in cafeterias, netcafes or at my gf's place for first ~3-4 months of my poker carreer /wasnt a carreer back then but w/e/ .. my parents were strictly against, my gf started to be strictly against, and friends as usual, knew ntg of it, and were mostly against.. and this was not even a year ago.

      dont ask me abt my monthly profits now ;) :f_cool: though i lost the gf, and surrendered some of other valuable things, but .. everyone has to set his own priorities..


      as you grow, u ll get to know more ppl supporting u, fe from this community, and if u re good, u ll show all your friends and parents that u can earn their monthly incomes in a session :P :D


      may the force be with ya!
    • viewer88
      viewer88
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.04.2008 Posts: 5,545
      I told a couple of good friends and my parents. My friends ask sometimes "how I'm doing", they understand variance and long term winrate etc etc..

      My parents ask every few months "so how much have you got on your poker account?", I don't lie about how I'm doing although I do tend to be vague about the short-term variance. They always advice me to withdraw at least half of my bankroll :] :tongue:
    • justkyle88
      justkyle88
      Bronze
      Joined: 07.05.2008 Posts: 7,596
      If your honest with whatever you do, ppl worth your time will accept what you do.

      I lost half my roll on Mansion last night but I told my folks and they were understanding about it.
      Explain varience, EV etc etc and things should be sweet.

      But be true to yourself if your explaining these things to your friends/parents, make sure your 100% understanding on how cruel this game can be.
    • TheBrood
      TheBrood
      Bronze
      Joined: 17.07.2008 Posts: 4,383
      Originally posted by justkyle88
      If your honest with whatever you do, ppl worth your time will accept what you do.

      I lost half my roll on Mansion last night but I told my folks and they were understanding about it.
      Explain varience, EV etc etc and things should be sweet.

      But be true to yourself if your explaining these things to your friends/parents, make sure your 100% understanding on how cruel this game can be.
      I think if we tell them we lost, in a calm, collected manner, they start to see its normal for a poker player to lose sometimes.
    • viewer88
      viewer88
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.04.2008 Posts: 5,545
      Originally posted by TheBrood
      I think if we tell them we lost, in a calm, collected manner, they start to see its normal for a poker player to lose sometimes.
      yes absolutetely , no need to fuel the "GAMBOLLL DEGENERATE!!" panic parents or randoms tend to have :tongue:
    • Corrupted666
      Corrupted666
      Bronze
      Joined: 10.12.2007 Posts: 36
      Well when my g/f whines about playing online poker, I just tell her bingo is just as bad, its not like your deposting money every week.

      I actually think my g/f gets in worse moods than me if she loses bad at bingo than if i lose at poker.
    • s1ndr0me
      s1ndr0me
      Bronze
      Joined: 18.01.2009 Posts: 131
      I think my wife was a bit worried at the begining. We're on a pretty tight budget. However I havent made a deposit since january (just three months after my very first) and she realises that a hobby that doesnt cost anything is a good hobby. Keeps me off the streets and out of the pub.
    • Berkstajger
      Berkstajger
      Bronze
      Joined: 19.03.2009 Posts: 878
      Interesting problems.

      I have none. All my friends that count play poker, the brother of the girl I'm dating at the moment also plays poker and my parents don't mind as long as I do good in school and at work.

      Poker heaven. :D
    • jonnyjm
      jonnyjm
      Bronze
      Joined: 24.03.2008 Posts: 447
      I learnt along time ago its pointless trying to explain things to people who dont understand how poker works, because they never will understand. People have there misconceptions of the game. So i keep it to myself and try to avoid bringing up the subject of poker. But if somone asks me a question about my poker i give them an honest answer but keep it brief.

      Do you know how hard it is getting a girlfriend when your income is soley poker based? They ask "So what do you do for a living?" I'm still strigling to find a suitable answer that isnt "I play poker".... If anyone has a better answer ples let me know.
    • LgWz
      LgWz
      Black
      Joined: 26.05.2007 Posts: 7,641
      Originally posted by jonnyjm
      Do you know how hard it is getting a girlfriend when your income is soley poker based? They ask "So what do you do for a living?" I'm still strigling to find a suitable answer that isnt "I play poker".... If anyone has a better answer ples let me know.
      Like gavinonymous said, tell them you invest in equities :s_biggrin:
    • andreibalint
      andreibalint
      Bronze
      Joined: 11.04.2009 Posts: 872
      if i had a bb/100hands for every more or less friend giving me lessons about life and how it's just a matter of luck for the favored and not for me and for every person i know that feels like 350 bucks a month working 8 hours a day is "good" i would be so stinkin' rich i could buy the Bicycle Casino.
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