Good news everybody: here’s another blog.
I’m going to skip the biographical introduction that a few blogs have. The “profile style” intro somehow feels more appropriate to dating sites. Moreover, I think that instead of stating that I have, say, a “GSOH”, it’s far better to write something that enables the reader to form his/her own conclusion about any of my senses, good or bad.
Let the blog itself reveal character.
It is enough to know, at this stage, that I’m English and emotional control deserts me when I spot a Bohemian-looking woman wearing a hat. As a consequence of the latter, I play poker surrounded by naked female mannequins, as their uniformity and baldness serves as a potent distraction minimiser.
Any other biographical details should come from the posts as I aim to be a regular contributor to the community. Yes, you read that right – Happy Christmas, indeed.
However, given the nature of this community, I should state that I play 50NL, MTTs, with the occasional Double-Up thrown in if I’m less than gripped by the film I’m watching.
The title of the blog comes, partly, from a fondness for film. I’ll explain more later, but first a bit about my PokerStrategy nickname. I used to title myself after the first thing I spotted on my desk at the time of poker account creation, largely because dull, banal handles tend not to be in high demand.
Consequently, if you spot someone at the poker table called “MilkCarton”, “DentalFloss”, or “NeglectedGoalsList”, there is a fair chance that is me.
However, a friend had told me that, should I join PokerStrategy, I would probably find myself wanting to contribute.
I found the site. I went to create an account. I looked at my desk. I saw the NHS “Tangle” (tm).
I thought: no. This has to stop.
And so I thought about names of characters from American fiction.
“Fingers Malone” was born from the evolutionary unlikely union of authors Damon Runyon and Raymond Chandler. Fingers Malone was meant to be mysterious, cool, sophisticated. He was not meant to pound the desk when the river completes his opponent’s flush. He was also not meant to refer to himself in the third person.
Nor was he meant to aspire to be an adjective; but, little did I know at the time of his conception, that I might need a theme, a structure and a goal for a poker blog.
People can become adjectives.
The expression “Fellinesque”, was created because an Italian had such an individual style of filmmaking that people began to associate certain sights with his work.
In a similar fashion, I want future poker players to say, “Shit. You see that play? That shit was Malonesque”, preferably in the voice of The Wire’s Clay Davis.
It is a tough goal, I know, but I believe that, with the support of this community and lavish helpings of sickly “wind beneath my wings” metaphors, I can do it.
However, there may come a time when I have to accept that the best I can be is a noun.
If the act of calling the flop with nothing in an attempt to induce an opponent to check/fold can become known as “The float”, I think there could be a time when another play is called “The Malone.”
At the moment, there is a danger that it could denote the act of casually pushing all of your chips into the middle when your opponent has the nuts and watching him trouser all the cash.
Alternatively, “The Malone” could simply become the handle for the little window that appears and asks,
“Would you like to buy more chips?”
).