Getting nervous.
A quick note after starting today's session.
I opened up two NL5 Zoom tables. Before the session, I had been thinking about lowering expectations, something like, hope for the best, expect the worst, be happy about a break even session etc.
What happened is I quickly became nervous in relatively trivial spots. It culminated in this hand:
I have QQ in BB and squeeze an UTG raise and BTN call. UTG calls, BTN folds.
UTG has about 75 BBs stack before hand start.
Flop: 6d 7d 7s
Pot: 1.75$
Villain has 2.97$.
I check and he checks back (yes, maybe I am a stupid nit or fancy slowplayer here).
Turn: Th
I check again, villain shoves 2.97$ into 1.75$ pot.
I didn't think his shove made much sense. Would any good hand of his play this way? Usually not, unless he is crazy whale.
I call and he shows KsTs and I hold up.
But... What happened is I became very nervous during the hand and when making the call.
I want to write a bit about this as therapy.
Possible reasons?
1) I have been thinking and writing and playing a lot last few days. Maybe some kind of overload of emotion. (The following reasons can be specific parts of this, just spelled out.)
2) Was getting shit scared of paying off a fish or a reg that leveled me. Probably an ego/respect thing.
3) Was desperate to get a good start to the session, having thought a lot about this issue in the last couple of days.
4) A probable leak in my game is making too light/spewy calls. I was perhaps afraid to lose here and get confirmation, spoiling all my positive thoughts before the session (even if the call may be correct).
5) I have been a slowplay fancy player recently, because it simply seems to get the best/good results at NL5 Zoom (and maybe as overadjustment for spewy play). At the same time, I know this kind of game is probably not optimal, and I am probably scared of "being found out" and see my results decline.
6) Maybe my psychological state is bad, like, maybe too tired/dizzy/whatever, apart from stuff mentioned in 1.
Ideas to prevent this?
1) Maybe start off sessions in another way than with 2-tabling my default game. I can maybe play mechanical stuff like multi-tabling 50-50s, or I can play some NL2 stuff (but the same problems might arise here or just be delayed).
2) Start off with only 1 table until I feel confidently in the zone.
3) Accept is as a somewhat natural consequence of the reasons above, take a break or slow down my action (like playing only 1 table).
I am gonna take a 10 minute break and settle on a further course.
Of course, the risk of doing stuff like writing this post is that a possible problem of emotional overload is only getting exacerbated, but the hope is that it will give relief. Writing down your thoughts is standard advice when, for instance, being nervous before an exam.
The problem in the first place here is probably that I might have been feeling it like an exam when I opened up the tables today.
Anyway, awareness is first step towards cure.